So, here is another Bayley/Dean fic for you guys. This story was inspired by a post from heytheredelilaahhh on tumblr. I hope you guys like this story because there's just something about it that I'm not completely satisfied with it.
The title for this fic comes from the song "Say Something" by A Great Big World.
I apologzie for any and all grammatical mistakes or any mistakes in characterization.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the storyline.
Bayley had been so excited when Dean had come down to visit her at NXT, but as she sat next to Becky Lynch who was talking animatedly to Alexa Bliss she wasn't feeling that same excitement she'd felt earlier.
"Bayley, are you okay?" Alexa asked drawing Bayley's attention away from Dean.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Bayley distractedly told her.
"You don't look it," Becky chimed in. Bayley shook her head to clear her thoughts.
"I'm fine. You guys don't have to worry," Bayley told them plastering on the most convincing smile she could muster, "I'm going to go get something to eat." Bayley got up from her seat and left the two women both confused and concerned. They weren't used to see the normally happy and hug obsessed woman look so down. Bayley didn't really go get something to eat she walked were she could get a better look at Dean. He was standing by some equipment talking to Renee Young. Bayley felt her stomach clench at the sight. Bayley knew they had a history and she'd never asked Dean what their relationship had been exactly, but anytime she saw them together it made her nervous. She trusted Dean and didn't think he'd ever do anything to hurt her, but the fact that he had history with Renee and was a huge flirt didn't help ease her worries.
Bayley hadn't really been the kind of person that got jealous, but whenever she saw Dean with Renee or any other woman that Bayley thought was more striking than her she got nervous. She had tried to tell Dean how she felt once, but had ended up making a joke out of it which he told her to she was being ridiculous. Bayley held her breath as Dean leaned in to whisper something to Renee and felt her eyes start to mist. Whatever Dean had whispered must have been funny because Renee was laughing really hard and Dean was joining her in the laughter. They look so good together, Bayley thought before shaking her head. No, she couldn't think like that. She refused to think like that. Dean was her boyfriend. He loved her and she loved him. Nothing was going to change that, but why did Bayley feel like he was slipping away. Not being able to watch them anymore, Bayley made her way outside. She really needed some fresh air.
OoOoOoOo
Bayley sat on some steps and leaned her head against the railing. Bayley could feel her mood get worse the more she sat there and let her mind constantly think of Dean and Renee. She felt her eyes misting up again. God, you are being such a baby. Stop it!, Bayley reprimanded herself.
"What the fuck are you doing out here?" Bayley quickly tried to compose herself not wanting Dean to see how upset she was.
"Nothing, just needed some fresh air," Bayley lied to him trying to make her voice sound bright and happy.
"Well, I went looking for you. That pixie and Irish chick told me you were getting something to eat, which wasn't true since I couldn't find you. Finally, some guy told me he saw you come out here," Dean explained as he took a seat next to Bayley.
"Their names are Alexa and Becky," Bayley corrected him as she leaned her head on his shoulder.
"Oh, yeah, you told me that before. There the new ones, right?" he asked as grabbed Bayley's hand and started playing with her fingers.
"Yeah, their new," Bayley sighed as she shut her eyes. Bayley mentally chastised herself for being so stupid. Dean loved her and she needed to relax.
"So...," Dean trailed off unsure how to continue. Bayley raised her head to look at him confused at his hesitance.
"What?" Bayley asked concerned.
"What's wrong with you?" Dean blurted out as he looked at her. Bayley felt like a deer caught in the head lights and she was sure she looked like it, too.
"Nothing," Bayley denied as she tried to crack a smile, "What's wrong with you?" Dean shook his head at her attempt to lighten the mood before looking back at her.
"Don't fucking lie to me, Bayley," Dean demanded. Bayley sat there not knowing what to say.
"Why do you think there's something wrong with me?" Bayley asked dodging his question.
"Because you've been acting strange all day and the newbie's told me you were distracted when they were talking to you," Dean informed her as he continued to stare at her, "They also said you wouldn't take your eyes off of me the whole time you were sitting with them." Bayley swallowed thickly not sure what to do.
"Come on, Bayley. What the fuck is going on?" Dean asked as he turned to face her. He placed one hand on her knee and the other behind her back. Bayley felt a war raging within her. One side of her just wanted to tell him how she felt, but the other side told her to deny everything so that he wouldn't dismiss her feelings.
"I'm fine. I'm just tired," Bayley denied as she rubbed her eyes.
"Why are you lying to me?" Dean hissed growing angry.
"I'm not," Bayley lied growing more anxious.
"Yes, you are," Dean countered.
"How do you know?" Bayley demanded.
"Because I've seen you when you're tired and that is not from a lack of sleep," he informed her as he pointed towards her eyes, "That is from crying." Bayley clenched her eyes shut and rested her face in her hands. Dean grabbed Bayley's hands and gently pried them from her face.
"Bayley, look at me," Dean said as he scooted closer towards her. After a couple seconds Bayley looked at Dean. She felt like her heart was going to break from the look of hurt on his face.
"Why won't you tell me what is wrong? What did I do? Just tell me what I did so that I can fix it," Dean begged. Bayley once again felt tears come to her eyes, but this time they fell. Dean quickly wiped at the tears as they fell down her face.
"Please, tell me what I did so that I can fix it," Dean begged desperately growing more anxious the more Bayley cried, "I can't fix it if you don't tell me." Bayley started to cry harder the more he begged.
"Bayley, please. Say something...anything," Dean cried feeling like everything was falling apart, "Fuck. I knew it. I knew that I would do something to fuck this up."
"It's me," Bayley sobbed. Dean looked at her confused.
"You? What about you?" Dean questioned growing more confused.
"It's my fault," Bayley tried to get out, but wasn't having the best of luck, "I'm just making a big deal out of nothing and I'm...I'm sorry. You didn't do anything. It's my fault." Dean tried to wrap his head around Bayley's words, but she still wasn't making any sense.
"What the fuck are you talking about? What's your fault?" Dean demanded still confused.
"I was getting jealous of Renee," Bayley whimpered trying to calm herself down.
"Jealous of Renee? Why the fuck would you be jealous of Renee?" Dean wondered.
"Because you two have history and I saw you talking to her and," Bayley paused trying to compose herself, "And you two looked so good together." Dean eyes widened at Bayley's words. This was the last thing he had been expecting and it shocked the hell out of him.
"What? Why in the hell would you think that?" he asked still not understanding where this had come from, "History together? Renee and I fucked a handful of times, but it was nothing serious. We're just friends. Why the fuck would I want her anyway when I have you?" Bayley squirmed slightly at hearing that he had slept with Renee. Sure, to guess what they're relationship had been and to know what it was were two completely different things.
"I don't know. It's just," Bayley started not sure how to continue, "You flirt all the time whenever you're not around me when you come visit me down here and whenever I come to visit you on the road you're always with Renee." Bayley took a deep breath after her little rant and looked at Dean. Dean wasn't sure what to think. Sure, he was flirt, but that's how he'd always been. It wasn't like he tired to flirt with women it was just like second nature to him.
"I don't know what to tell you Bayley," Dean said as he scratched the back of his head, "I mean you knew I was like this when we started dating."
"That may be true, but that doesn't mean I have to like it," Bayley argued starting to regret even opening her mouth.
"Well, what do you want me to do?" Dean asked.
"I don't know," Bayley moaned as she wrapped her arms around her legs and leaned her head on her lap.
"Fuck," Dean growled growing frustrated, "Well, then what the fuck do we do now?" Bayley didn't answer him. She just sat there.
"This is fucking ridiculous," Dean muttered as he rubbed his hands over his face. Bayley felt something snap within her at his words. She sat up and glared at him. Dean was taken aback by the sudden change in Bayley's mood.
"Ridiculous? You think how I feel is ridiculous?" Bayley cried upset.
"Calm down, I didn't say that," Dean tried to calm his angry girlfriend. Bayley rarely got angry, but when she did her anger could rival his.
"Yes, you did. You said 'This is ridiculous'. The 'this' in that sentence are my feelings, Dean," Bayley explained as she grew more upset.
"I'm not saying your feelings are ridiculous. I'm just...I'm just trying to figure out how to fix this," Dean stressed as he grabbed Bayley's hand.
"I just...I just want you to understand that seeing you flirt with other girls hurts me," Bayley told him as she gripped his hand tightly.
"So, you want me to change who I am?" Dean asked slowly.
"No," Bayley backtracked, "I just want you to be aware of how it makes me feel." Dean sat there for a minute processing her words.
"What if I can't?" he finally spoke after what felt like forever. Bayley felt her heart drop at his words.
"What?" she whispered shocked that she could find her voice.
"What if I understand how it makes you feel, but I can't stop flirting?" Dean asked not looking at Bayley, "What happens then?" Bayley stared at him not sure what to say. What would happen? Bayley knew in her heart that she'd never leave Dean. She loved him with every fiber of her being, but hearing him talk like this made her wonder how strong his love for her was.
"Are you giving up?" Bayley questioned as fresh tears fell from her eyes. Dean didn't answer right away which made Bayley cry harder. Dean looked over at Bayley and felt his heart break.
"No," he answered her as he wiped a tear from her face and let his hand rest on her cheek. Bayley reached up and placed her hand over his.
"I'm not giving up, but I can't be the perfect boyfriend you deserve," Dean admitted bitterly.
"I don't want a perfect boyfriend," Bayley told him as he wiped another tear from her cheek, "I just want you." Bayley leaned forward and captured his lips with hers. Dean immediately responded and kissed her back. This kiss was anything, but gentle and sweet like their usual kisses. This kiss was raw and both poured everything they were feeling into it.
"Stop," Bayley pushed Dean back slightly. Dean looked at Bayley closely trying to determine her emotions.
"What?" he whispered.
"Where does this leave us?" Bayley asked not able to let go what he had said, "Do you want me?"
"What?" Dean asked as he leaned further away from her, "Why the fuck would you ask me that?
"Do you?" Bayley asked ignoring his question.
"Yes! Of course, I want you. I love you!" Dean yelled at her, "I wouldn't be here trying to fix this, if I didn't give a fuck!" Bayley sat there looking at him to see if there was any trace of insincerity, but found none. All she saw was his anger and hurt. They sat there neither knowing what to say or do next. This was the first time that Bayley had ever feared for her relationship.
"Bayley," Both of them turned to see Alexa standing at the top of the stairs looking startled at what she had interrupted.
"Yeah," Bayley called as she started to wipe her face.
"Um...they need you to head to makeup," Alexa told her as she stood there awkwardly.
"Tell them that I'll be there in a minute," Bayley told her. Alexa nodded before quickly leaving the emotional couple alone.
"You should go," Dean said as he stood up and started heading up the steps.
"But...," Bayley started, but couldn't get the rest of what she was thinking out of her mouth.
"But what?" Dean asked from the top of the stairs.
"Are we over?" Bayley whimpered hoping that it wasn't true. Dean stood there with his arms crossed over his chest with a vacant expression on his face.
"We'll talk about this later," he said as he entered the building. Bayley sat there not knowing what to do or what to say. She felt like she wanted to crumble to the ground and fall to pieces. Bayley quickly got up, rushed up the steps, and entered the arena. She searched the crowd for Dean, but couldn't find him. Not wanting anyone to see her tear stained face she quickly rushed to the nearest bathroom to clean her face. Once she thought she was presentable she walked around the arena looking for Dean. She spotted Renee standing with Alex Riley discussing something. Bayley took a deep breath and then headed over to the two.
"Renee," Bayley called to get the woman's attention, "Sorry to interrupt, but have you seen Dean?"
"Oh, he said he was headed to your place. I think he said he had a headache or something and wanted to relax," Renee told Bayley as she looked down at her notepad for something.
"Is that all he said?" Bayley questioned her. Renee brought her attention away from her work and looked at Bayley.
"Yeah, that was it. Why? Is something wrong?" Renee asked as she studied Bayley.
"Nope. Just wanted to make sure that was it," Bayley explained as she abruptly walked away from the two without saying goodbye. Bayley dug in her pocket for her phone and dialed his number. It went straight to voicemail and Bayley felt both concern and frustration rise within her. Where are you?, Bayley texted him. She waited for about four minutes before she got a reply from him. Your place, Bayley stared down at the text. It just didn't feel like a text from him and it made her even more anxious.
"Bayley," she lifted her head to see Alexa in front of her.
"Yeah," Bayley said as she put her phone back in her pocket.
"Triple H and Stephanie want to talk to you about what else they want you to do tonight," Alexa explained.
"Okay," Bayley started to head towards their office when she felt Alexa stop her.
"Are you okay?" Alexa asked concerned.
"Yeah," Bayley replied trying to sound more like herself, but failing miserably.
"Are you sure because you and Dean looked like-"
"I'm fine, we're fine, everything is fine," Bayley interrupted as she walked away from a surprised Alexa. Alexa had never seen Bayley act like this before and it worried her. Bayley was able to make it to Triple H and Stephanie's office without any further incident. She took a deep breath to calm herself down and try to get back some of her usual cheeriness before she walked through the door. This is as good as it gets, Bayley thought as she knocked on the door.
OoOoOoOo
Bayley had been grateful when Triple H and Stephanie had told her that all she had left to do for the night was a backstage interview. Once she had done that she had been told she could go home. The whole drive home Bayley felt anxious. She hoped that Dean was still there, but the thought of him being there worried her. A part of Bayley had wished she never opened her mouth because if she hadn't then none of this would have ever happened. She wouldn't be worried for the state of her relationship. Her eyes wouldn't hurt from all the crying she had done today if she had just kept her mouth shut. Bayley pulled into her apartment complex and found a place to park her car.
She sat in her car and tried to fight her urge to just run. It was always a problem of Bayley's. She really hated confrontation and having people mad at her. She would usually just run from it, but ever since she met Dean she had broken that habit. She had gotten better at not running away from her problems, but at that moment all she wanted to do was run. She sat there and leaned her head against her steering wheel. Her relationship with Dean was Bayley's first real serious relationship. Sure, she had dated guys in the past, but nothing as serious as her relationship with Dean. Her past relationships always ended the same. Either they couldn't deal with Bayley's perky, happy personality and left her or she found them too boring and she left them. With Dean, neither was the case. He was able to put up with her personality and he was the farthest thing from boring.
Bayley lifted her head and looked towards where she knew her apartment was located and sighed. She couldn't run. She had to fight for this relationship, for him. She couldn't lose him. She unbuckled her seatbelt, grabbed her bag, got out of her car, locked it, and headed towards the building. She climbed the four flights of stairs it took to get to the floor her apartment was located at. Once she arrived to the right floor she walked down the hall towards her door. She stopped in front of it still fighting the urge to run and unlocked the door. She felt dread consume her when she saw that none of the lights were on. She closed and locked the door. She walked further into her apartment, found the nearest light, and switched it on. The room was engulfed in light and to her relief lying on her couch was Dean.
Bayley walked over to the couch and sat down next to it. She brushed a stray hair off of his face and sat there watching him sleep. He always looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. Like he didn't have any worries or cares in the world. Bayley wished he could look that peaceful when he was awake, but she knew he never would. She sat there debating about what she should do. After sitting on the floor by the couch for a few minutes Bayley decided to let him rest and started to get up.
"What? No good night kiss?" Bayley's head whipped back to see Dean looking at her half awake.
"I didn't want to wake you," Bayley whispered. Dean sat up and scooted down the couch so that Bayley could have a seat. Bayley sat down next to him. They sat there neither knowing what to say or how to even bring up their earlier conversation.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking," Dean said breaking the silence. Bayley looked at him not sure how she should feel about his words. She wasn't sure if she should feel hopeful or scared.
"About?" Bayley prompted him to continue.
"About our conversation from earlier," Dean told her as he leaned forward.
"And?" Bayley prompted once again wanting him to get to the point.
"I realized something," Dean stated as he turned to look into Bayley's concerned eyes, "I realized that you were right. I do flirt a lot, but it's never intentional. It's like second nature to me and it never means anything, but I understand how that could hurt you. I know how you feel."
"You do?" Bayley wondered.
"Yeah because I always feel the same whenever I see you with Woods and Zayn," Dean explained to her uncomfortably. Dean hated talking about his feelings, but ever since they had started dating he had started to feel a little more comfortable with being open with Bayley.
"Wait, you're jealous of Xavier and Sami? Why?" Bayley asked completely thrown by what Dean had just told her.
"Because whenever I see you with them and see how fucking happy and bubbly you are with them, I want to punch their faces in," Dean confessed as he clenched his fist. Even talking about it pissed him off. He hated it. He hated seeing Bayley act how she did around him with other guys. It was why he had started to understand her pain when seeing him flirt with other girls.
"So, wait, are you saying is that your flirting is the same as me being friendly to other guys?" Bayley asked not sure how she felt about the comparison.
"Yeah, I guess. It's the best way I could figure out how you felt. Sure, you just being friendly isn't as bad as my flirting, but the feelings the same," Dean told her hoping he was making sense. This was just another reason why he hated talking about his feelings. He always felt like he wasn't making any sense or that he would just end up going on a tangent that no one could follow. Bayley sat there absorbing his words and while he was right that they weren't the same she did understand how it could affect Dean the same way it affected her.
"You know they're just my friends, right?" Bayley asked as she grabbed his hands in hers.
"Yeah, I know. Just like Renee is just my friend. Nothing else, I swear," he said as he started to play with her fingers. Bayley watched as he messed with her fingers. She had started to notice that it was a nervous tick he had. Sure, he had many, but whenever she was near him and something was bugging him he always played with her fingers.
"I know," Bayley soothed him as she freed one of her hands to brush some loose hairs out away from his face, "Look at us, a pair of jealous fools." A slight smirk appeared on his face at her lame attempt at a joke.
"So where do we go from here?" Dean mumbled not sure if he wanted to hear Bayley's answer.
"We are going to try to be more honest and accepting of each other's feelings," Bayley suggested as she leaned her forehead against his shoulder, "We have to be able to talk to each other." Bayley felt so exhausted, both physically and emotionally from everything that had happened today.
"We have a lot of work to do," he added as he leaned back bringing Bayley with him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. Bayley snuggled into his side.
"We sure do," Bayley supplied as she listened to Dean's heart beat, "But we can do it, right?" Bayley leaned back and looked up to gauge Dean's reaction. Dean had a warm smile on his face that showed off his dimples that Bayley loved.
"Of course, we can," he reassured her as he leaned down and placed a slow and gentle kiss on her lips. Bayley sighed into the kiss starting to feel her exhaustion start to take her over.
"What do we do now?" Dean asked against her lips. Dean could tell that Bayley was exhausted and would do whatever she wanted to do.
"We sit here and you hold me," Bayley ordered as she snuggled even closer to his side if that was even possible.
"You don't want to go to your room?" Dean questioned her as he gently rubbed the back of her neck.
"Not yet," Bayley murmured starting to feel herself lose consciousness, "Just hold me for a little while and then we'll go to bed." Dean chuckled at her request, but obeyed it. As he started to relax, he started to feel his own exhaustion start to take over. They had both had a very emotionally draining day and it wasn't that big of a surprise that they were so tired. Both Dean and Bayley knew that their relationship wasn't going to be easy given how different they were and it was going to be a lot of work, but both were willing to put in the work. Bayley knew she couldn't run from her feelings anymore and never would again. She could lose Dean. She didn't know what she would do if she did and she had no intention of ever finding out.
Dean sat there holding Bayley for a few minutes before he heard her breathing even out and knew that she was out. Dean looked down at Bayley with nothing, but love. He had never thought he could feel this way, but Bayley had come into his life with her big goofy smile, and her hugs, and had shown him that he could love someone. She had shown him that not everyone was out to screw him over. Dean could still hear the hurt in her voice and see the look on her face when he had left her on that staircase that afternoon and his heart clenched. He vowed to never see her cry that much over him ever again. He'd rather die than see her in that much pain because of him again.
He carefully moved around her and laid her on the couch. He made his way to her bedroom. He turned on her lamp so that he'd be able to see when he brought her in. He made his way back to the living room and saw that Bayley was still fast asleep on the couch, but she'd curled up against the back of the couch. Dean walked over to her and gently lifted her into his arms. Bayley didn't stir at the movement. He left the lamp on not really caring that it was still on, but he knew Bayley would probably complain about it in the morning, but at the moment he didn't care. Once in her bedroom, he placed her in her bed. He removed her shoes, headband, and hair tie. He was thinking about changing her clothes, but decided that might wake her up. Instead he left her in her t-shirt and just removed her blue jeans.
After that he took off his clothes until he was just in his boxers and slid into the bed next to her. He shut off the lamp and pulled her to him. She immediately turned in her sleep to face him and snuggled close to him. Dean kissed her forehead and softly stroked her cheek. He stared down at her still wondering what the hell she saw in him and why she would even waste her time with him, but he pushed those thoughts out of his head. He knew if Bayley could hear his thoughts she would be telling him that he was wrong and that he just didn't see himself the way that she did. He'd love to know what she saw so that it could make sense in his head how he got so lucky. With a tired sigh he finally closed his eyes, stroked Bayley's back which earned him a content sigh, and drifted off to sleep with a small smile on his face.
I really like writing these kind of angst driven stories with these two, but it's never easy. So, hopefully you guys enjoyed this. Please leave a review to tell me what you liked, didn't like, or what I could improve on.
~Brittany~
