She Calls Herself Maria: Rewrite 1

You might not understand my story, It might just seem stupid, but in the end it is the truth. My name is Isabella Marie Swan and when I was ten years old, I self diagnosed myself with a multi personality disorder. I was not on WebMD one early morning, It was just something I saw on TV and thought, "This could be the name of my predicament." I always thought that once I had a name for my problem it would just go away but by then it was too late. Just because you bite an apple and automatically spit it out because you realized you didn't clean it, does not change the fact that the germs are still in your mouth. If you have a sore on your tongue the invisible diseases with seep into your body. By me consciously realizing something was wrong it was like I was just trying to spit out the dirty apple but like I said It was too late. I was a murderer; angel by day, killer by night.

Who would have thought sweet innocent me would kill someone? My hits were random. It would seem, I was smart and calculated. Who said you didn't learn anything by watching T.V. ? Now you may ask how could you a little girl take a life? Its easy, I didn't. Maria did.

Yes, I said Maria. That is what she liked to call herself. You see, I didn't know I was a murderer until the virginal age of eight, immaculate to the world. It's hard to watch your own hands kill others. I never saw how or why she did it but I could however see my hands stained with blood, The victim's cold dead eyes staring at me as Maria stood back to admire her handy see, I think Maria thought it would be funny to start making herself known with vivid memories. At first, I thought they were just nightmares until I started to wake up with blood splattered clothes. As the months went on,I feel Maria thought it would be more fun to come out to play during the day. She wreaked havoc from school to home, Although she never hurt anyone during the day she was still a force to be reckoned with.

Because of this, I was in trouble more times than I can count, and when questioned by my mother, I would tell her everything I knew except the blood spattered clothing and hands. In the end I honestly knew nothing. Why was Maria here? How did she kill those people? Why did she kill those people? Why wouldn't she go away?

I would love to say, "Finally realizing something was wrong, my mommy got me a therapist," but that would be a lie. Renee was not much of a mother. I mean, How did she not notice the blood stained clothes? The clothes that just disappeared without a trace. How the hell does a mother not know her daughter leaves the house multiple times a month? Renee can't even be considered a mother. In the end the public school system of Arizona said that if I didn't get a mental evaluation I could not continue to go to their schools. I did not care that the school did not want me, School was hell anyway. Bullcrap left and right, Bullies who lived to bully. I much rather had been homed schooled but Renee would not have that. She looked to school as a state funded day care and god forbid she actually care after me when no one was looking.

Renee really pushed for the therapist so that I may get to go back to school so she could move on with her life because I was taking up too much time. Most times I would just blackout during the sessions so I don't really know what happened behind the therapist's closed doors.

It seemed Maria liked the attention so she just got worse.

One time I blacked out for so long, when I came to, three years had flown by and I was in an all white room strapped in bed. Later, I discovered I was in a facility for mentally unstable people.

I was so afraid; Maria was trying to ruin my life. I remember screaming in my head and begging her to leave me be.

I guess she heard me because I remember her saying," I'm sorry".

It was kind of like a wake up call. Maria did not show anymore...it was like she disappeared...well, that I know of.

It had taken two years to convince people I was normal again, but by then I had already spent five years of my life in that hell hole of a faculty. My mother moved and got married to a guy named Phil, who she was always writing about in the paragraph letters she sent me. From how she talked about Phil, I had a feeling I never would really like him. I was right. When I met him he was telling jokes, trying to be the life of the party. The act was annoying and stupid. Everything about my life was annoying and stupid! Renee told Phil I was in a special boarding school where you stay for the whole year, including the summer. Which is stupid, but Phil bought it. You see Renee couldn't dare tell the truth. That her daughter was supposedly insane, Renee couldn't dare say Isabella is locked away because if she said that the image that she has worked so hard to paint would become tainted.

When I finally got out of Pennyfield Happy House I actually wanted to go back. Living in Phoenix was the hardest thing to do. Most people knew me from elementary school as the girl who talked to herself. Its amazing how they remembered things that I didn't even remember; as soon as I walked through the doors I was called a freak. Rumors spread like wild flowers. Boys would ask me out, and after I said no, they would spread rumors about me. Many rumors I would really hate to repeat.I was more developed than most girls and that caused a lot of unwanted attention. So let's just say I was popular for all the wrong reasons when all I wanted was silence. .Finally, I was at my wits end.

It was only so many times I was pushed down before I even got the chance to stand up. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had this overwhelming thought that maybe, just maybe the world would be a better place without me.

Before you ask, I didn't try to commit suicide. Well, I did try. I had the blade in my hand and I was about to press down, but Renee called me, asking if she could come into the bathroom.

"Sure", I yelled back. It wasn't until the door started opening I noticed I still had the blade in my hand. In my haste to hide the blade, I nicked myself.

Turning around to throw the blade away, I came face to face with mother dearest. Notice all sarcasm. Her face ashen as she tried to compute what she just saw.