Chapter One
Gabby POV
Too many thoughts ran quickly through Gabby's mind as she still lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. Welch's word stung her as she did her best to fight back the tears that threatened to fall. At first, she didn't believe a word he said, until she saw the look on Matt's face as he peered down from the window. In that instant bile moved from the pit of her stomach to the back of her mouth. She couldn't just stand there like the dumbass she felt like, so she ran. She needed to get away from him; she couldn't bare to see the look on his face.
The worst part of all this, was the fact that she wanted this. She wanted to become a firefighter. She wanted to work at house 51. She wanted to work on truck 81. These were the things she wanted more than anything and she proved that by picking it over her relationship with Matt. Therefore, why was she angry at Matt for moving on? Many times she tried to answer that question but it always came back to the same answer, she still loved Matt.
"Gabby," Brett's voice sounded from the other side of the Gabby's closed bedroom door.
"Yeah," Gabby called out as she cleared her voice.
The door slowly opened and the blonde paramedic walked through the door. "So I was wondering if you had plans for tomorrow night."
"Not really," Gabby replied as she sat up in her queen size bed and stretched her tan arms in the air.
"Well, I was thinking we could go out to that new club on Lower Whacker."
Gabby raised her eyebrows before speaking, "I don't know," but before she could get anything else out, she was quickly cut off.
"Come on Dawson, we can go dancing, drink a little or perhaps a lot. We could also meet some really hot guys."
"I'm not really looking for anyone."
"I know, but you need to out of this whole Casey funk that you are in."
"I'm not," Gabby began to deny the truth, but quickly realized that Brett was not going to buy it. "It's just really hard and I'm not ready to just jump back into another relationship."
"Who said anything about a relationship? I'm talking about flirting, dancing, and may be even a little action!"
Gabby's stomach ached at the thought of action; her mind instantly went to Matt's new piece of action.
Brett's POV
Brett could tell that whatever just flashed through Gabby's mind wasn't a good thing. If she had to make an educated guess, her thoughts were of Welch's moment of honesty. Brett didn't want to pry to get the information from her, but she wanted to let her know that if she needed a friend, then she would be here for Gabby. "Look Dawson, I know that you are hurt right now, but sitting around here and hiding out isn't going to make that feeling go away. May be if you try to move on, you might actually be able to."
Gabby's expression looked almost confused as she spoke the last few lines of her short monologue. She watched as another expression of anger crossed over her roommate's strong features, "unless you don't want to be?"
Gabby's POV
Gabby's eyes flung open at the question, she knew there was no point in lying to one of the only people in this world she had left, "Matt and I didn't break up because we didn't love each other anymore or one of us cheated on the other. We broke up because we didn't communicate anymore once I started on truck. To be honest, I just thought that he would wait for me and after I completed my candidacy, then we would get back together. I know that sounded absolutely selfish, but Matt has always been my future plan, but now everything has changed."
"Not if you don't wan it to. Have you stopped to wonder why Matt slept with the chief's wife? May be he was only with her to move on from you."
Gabby didn't say anything as she let Brett's words sink in. To be honest, she had thought about that, but never really held much hope.
"I'm going to get ready for work," Brett said lifting herself off of the bed.
Gabby didn't reply as realized that in a few short hours she was going to have to deal with Matt. There would be no running for it or him, and the thought of Brett's words circled back through. Before shift, Gabby was going to make a choice, a choice that would affect the rest of her life.
Matt's POV
He couldn't get the look of Gabby's face out of his head when their eyes meant last shift. He would have given everything he has in this world to fix what was broken between them. There have been so many questions that have run through his mind and so many things wished he could change. First thing he would redo, was the night Gabby walked out. He should have told her that he loved her and they will get through anything together. But he didn't, he didn't even move from his place where he stood. He watched her leave, but once the moment she was gone, he regretted letting her go. His anger took over and before he knew what happened, his fist went through the wall.
Thinking about that night, brought back the regret he had for not stopping her, however it didn't compare to the regret he now had over sleeping with Beth.
"Morning," Severide's voice broke him out of his thoughts.
"Morning," Matt mumbled as he brought the coffee mug to his lips. He watched as Severide went straight to the refrigerator and pulled out a half full carton of orange juice. Severide then pulled a glass down form the cabinet above the sink, "Who kept you up last night?" he asked with a smirk.
"What?" Matt asked with confusion displayed over his features as he placed his warm drink on the counter top.
"You look as if you barely got any sleep."
"I didn't, I couldn't" He replied looking down at his mug.
"What's on your mind?"
Matt hesitated before answering he knew that Severide was tired of his and Gabby's issues, but he didn't want to lie. "Dawson," he simply spoke.
"I thought you were past all of that, since you and Beth."
"That was until Gabby found out form Welch last shift."
"Oh," Severide simply replied.
"Oh, that's your response?" Matt asked with wide eyes and disbelief.
"What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know, but you were full of advice before this whole Beth thing," Matt reminded him.
"To be honest, I didn't think you would take up on it."
With Severide's last comment, Matt could feel his rage begin to bubble up from the pit of his stomach. "Then why would you say it?"
"I was trying to be a good friend. However, I see where it might at look that way."
"It doesn't matter," Matt breathed out as he ran his hands over his face and then through his hair. "No one forced me to sleep with Beth."
"Have you talked to Dawson yet?"
"No, I honestly don't know what to say to her. We aren't together anymore so it's not like I cheated."
"Then stop feeling so damn guilty about it. She made the choice to break things off, you did nothing wrong."
"True," Matt said nodding his head. "Bt the way she found out, I should have been the one to tell her."
"That part sucks, it really sucks, but there is nothing you can do about it."
Matt didn't say another word as he thought more about it. They weren't together and they still aren't. He did nothing wrong.
Gabby's POV
Gabby took in another deep breath as she climbed out of her car. She hoped that Bret didn't see her. She knew that if she couldn't control her facial expressions now, then it would be pointless when she saw Casey.
You can do this; she kept telling herself as she began to make her way to the short drive of the firehouse. She tried her best not to look over her shoulder when she heard the sound of another car parking on the road behind her, just incase it was Matt.
"So have you decided?" Brett asked as she kept pace with Gabby.
"About what?" confusion swept over her features.
"Going out tomorrow night," Brett reminded her.
"Oh, I still don't know, I'm still thinking about it."
"Well the good news is this offer doesn't expire," Brett teased as they continued to make their way inside.
Gabby was thankful that she hadn't run into Matt yet. She still didn't know what to say to him. Should she tell him how she really feels or do what a friend would do? After all they are supposed to be friends now. They are supposed to be co-workers.
Gabby closed her locker as she thought about how she was going to handle her situation. She began to walk out of the locker room, when her body smacked into another she could feel a pair of hands holding her place. "I'm so sorry," Gabby began to say as her eyes shot up to the person standing in front of her.
"Its fine," Welch said with his hands dropping from Gabby's shoulders.
Gabby cleared her throat not knowing what to say. A part of her wanted to sucker punch him for telling her about Matt and whatever her name is, but another part wanted to thank him for being honest with her and for not letting her walk around this place like an idiot when everyone else knew Matt had moved on.
"Dawson, I wanted to apologize about the other day. I wasn't trying to be an ass; I just wanted you to know that I believed you."
Before Gabby could respond, she glanced over at the door way to find Matt standing there looking between her and Welch with confusion displayed across his face. She paused for a moment and then looked back at Welch. "I know," she said and then turned on her heels and left the room.
Matt's POV
The air has changed at 51 since Boden has been on leave. And now that Chief Pridgen knows that he slept with his soon to be ex-wife, more then the air has changed. He could tell from the moment he walked in, and he was correct. As he walked down the hallway to the locker room, Chief Pridgen informed him that he knew about him and Beth. Matt wanted to explain, but he didn't want to listen.
As Matt made his way to his office he saw something that caught his eye, he moved closer to see Welch moving his hands from Gabby's shoulders. He couldn't hear what he was saying to her, but a rush of jealousy surged through him. Before Matt could make his presence known, Gabby's eyes meant his.
For the first time in a long time, he couldn't read her expression. What he wouldn't give to know what she was thinking and what the hell was going on. She turned to Welch, "I know," she simply stated and then walked away.
Matt wanted to follow her, he wanted to talk to her and make she was okay and apologize for everything. However, he stayed rooted in his spot until Gabby was completely out of view. Once he was sure she was gone, he turned his attention to Welch, "you know that I wasn't going to say anything about you running your fucking mouth to Gabby, but you had to run and tell Pridgen, and then I see you with Gabby again. What the hell did you say to her this time?" Matt asked as he took a step forward.
"As far as I can tell, it is none of concern," Welch said as matter of factly. "And I didn't say anything to the Chief, he must have found out the same way I did. So if you don't want people knowing your personal business, then may be you shouldn't be bringing your toys to work." Welch didn't say another word as he moved past Matt to leave. As much as Matt wanted to punch the guy, he knew that he couldn't and he knew that Welch wasn't wrong.
Matt went into his office and began to pull out paper work that he needed to be completed. He really just needed to calm himself down and take his mind off of the unreadable expression he saw on Gabby. Matt ran his hands through his hair and tried to refocus his attention. Before he could actually get started, the alarms rang out calling truck 81 and ambulance 61 to a house fire. Matt threw his pen on the table as he stood from his chair and headed to the apparatus floor.
Gabby's POV
After clearing and putting out the simple house fire they were called to, Gabby began to head back towards the truck.
"Dawson," she heard Matt say as he came up to her and began to walk with her.
"Yes Lieutenant." She could tell that whatever he wanted to say had nothing to do with work. Which meant this was a discussion about him and the chief's wife.
"I wanted to talk to you about what Welch told you the other day," he paused for a second before he continued; "I wanted to apologize to you."
Gabby took a moment before speaking; this was the moment she had to decide how she was going to handle this. Was she going to be the crazy ex-girlfriend or his co-worker/friend? "You don't need to apologize to me, we are not together anymore Casey. We are both free to do what we when we want."
"So you are okay with this?"
"Yeah, I am," she hoped that Matt couldn't see that she was lying. She was the farthest things from okay. They stood there for a moment longer before speaking, until Matt was called away from one of the guys. Gabby turned taking a breath and was begun to put her things away.
Once they pulled into the garage, Gabby went and found Brett in the common room, "So what time do you want to leave tomorrow night?"
Author's Note
Please let me know what you think of this story so far, should I continue? Thank you for reading.
Grace
