I See
Author: Teacup (of JAG)
A/N: This was written back in 2006, inspired by an HBX challenge to re-use the following lines from the episode 'Lifeline' in a new JAG story:
Mac: When you look at me that way … what do you see?
Harm: I see ... a desirable woman.
Mac: And I see ... a man who's so afraid to lose control.
Harm: In my world, you lose control, you die.
I mix all the lines up and spread them out in this story.
Disclaimer: The usual - the characters don't belong to me, but the story does.
The JAG background for this story: As far as Harm and Mac's relationship, … I imagine this happens around mid to late season 7, after Mic and Renee are gone, after the Jag-a-thon, after Mac has confessed to Sturgis that she's in love with Harm. I'm thinking this is a few months after that confession.
That said, event-wise, … the staff changes that occurred during season 7 have not happened. Gunny still works at JAG, Bud is not yet sent off to the carrier, no one on the show has gone to Afghanistan yet. And Sergei is not living at Harm's apartment. He might be in the U.S. living elsewhere, might be Russia, you can fill that in … I really don't care … He's not in this FF.
I See – Chapter 1
The two officers made their way through the bullpen, engaged in a discussion about a client they were co-defending.
"He should take the deal, Harm. It's not a bad one."
"Mac, he doesn't deserve to do brig time," Harm called over his shoulder as he entered his office.
Mac followed. "He beat up a superior officer! - Left him bleeding and unconscious in a deserted area. If that jogger hadn't happened by, Captain Lange might be dead!"
"Way to have faith in our client, Mac," Harm said sarcastically.
Mac closed the door behind her. "You know he did it, Harm."
"No, I don't," he replied matter-of-factly. "He admitted to having words with Captain Lange earlier that day, but not to attacking him. Lange didn't see who knocked him out. It could easily have been someone else."
Mac couldn't believe what she was hearing from Harm, and it was making her slightly angry. "For someone so obsessed with finding the truth, I can't believe you are ignoring what is staring you in the face!!"
"I'm not ignoring anything. It's our job to defend our client zealously, and I intend to do just that," he said with irritation. "If you don't want to take your duty as a lawyer seriously, that's your problem." With that insult flung at her, he took his seat.
Mac was not about to let him use that condescending tone with her. And she was certainly not going to let him attack her ability to do her job.
"There's a difference between a zealous defense and an irrational one!" she snapped back.
Keeping her focus on the case, Mac leaned forward with one hand on Harm's desk and argued, "We need to do what's in the best interest of our client, Harm. There is a ton of evidence against him, and he's going to be given a lot more brig time after he's found guilty than the time Singer is offering now."
"He shouldn't have to do any brig time if he didn't commit the crime," whined Harm.
Mac sighed in frustration and took a seat. "You really believe he didn't do this?" she asked in disbelief. She then proceeded to list just some of the evidence against their client, counting out on her fingers as she did so. "He's got motive, …"
"And so do half a dozen other enlisted men," Harm said coolly.
"He was seen 3 blocks away from the crime scene within 10 minutes of the attack, …"
"Estimated time of the attack," Harm corrected.
"His fingerprints are on the weapon!"
"He could have handled it earlier in the day," Harm pointed out.
"Which would just go to show that he had access to it on that day in the first place. Harm, all evidence aside, when we met with him, did you honestly believe his story? Because I didn't. And I don't think any jury will either."
"It's a plausible story."
"Yeah, except the way he told it screamed that he was lying. And he's … very unlikable. Honestly, if he insists on testifying on his own behalf, he's toast! The members would be ready to give him the death penalty if they could."
"Mac, you don't send a man to the brig for being unlikable."
"Do you really think that he is not guilty?" she asked again.
"I don't know. But I'm not ready to give in to Singer's demands just yet."
"He's going to be convicted, Harm. The man has 'guilty' written all over him."
"Don't be so harsh, Mac. There's more to our client than just a mean and obnoxious sailor. Petty Officer Jacobs has had it rough, and I think he deserves a break. ... I mean, … when I look at him, … yeah, I see a young man with a lot of anger issues. But I also see a man who's gotten the short end of the stick one too many times. I see a man who … maybe just needs to be given a chance."
Mac leaned back in the chair. "And I see a man … who's so afraid to lose control," she countered.
"Of course Jacobs is afraid to lose control," agreed Harm. "And that's exactly what we'll be doing to him if we let him take this deal. Going to the brig is the ultimate loss of control. His freedom will be completely taken away."
"I wasn't talking about Petty Officer Jacobs, Harm." Her voice had softened, but there was still a firm insistence in it. "… I was talking about you."
"What?" He was shocked.
"You're a control freak, Harm!" Mac sat up, challenging him. "Isn't that what this is really about? Not about a petty officer who deserves a chance, … but about you."
Harm's eyebrows rose and his eyes widened. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Control and pride, Harm. Singer bested you last week. She caught you with your pants down in court when she came up with that surprise witness. You lost total control of the case from that point on. And you can't stand that."
"Mac, I've lost cases before. It's no big deal."
"No big deal?" She laughed. "… Yeah, and I'm the Easter Bunny."
"Well then how about bringing me some chocolate eggs this year." Harm smiled facetiously.
Mac ignored his comment and continued, "… It's not that you lost the case. It's how you lost the case. You had it all planned out. Your airtight strategy. You had the members right where you wanted them. But when Singer pulled out that witness, your theory was blown to bits, and you didn't know what to do."
"I did a fine job of recovery, thank you," he defended himself.
"You did what you were forced to do at that point, Harm, … as things spiraled out of your control. And Singer hasn't exactly been above rubbing your nose in it all week. So, … I understand that you're sore."
"She was up to something, Mac. That witness didn't just fall into her lap the way she claimed. And I still don't believe what her 'star' witness said. I am sure he was lying, … I just couldn't prove it."
Harm was working himself up into a state of agitation, and he suddenly pounded his fist against his desk in a gesture of frustration.
"But, it's no big deal," Mac repeated his words, sounding as innocently as possible, to let him realize the untruth of it.
Harm couldn't deny that his loss to Loren Singer the week before had upset and unnerved him, especially because she was so insistent on bragging every possible moment. There was no one at JAG who didn't know about her win.
The way the overly ambitious Lieutenant had beaten Harm became something the rest of the staff began to enjoy needling him about too. He couldn't even go into the break room without someone making a joke about his loss to Singer.
So, given that Mac had a point, Harm moved to a different defense strategy for himself. "Fine," he conceded. "But what does my being upset with Singer have to do with our current case? Or you calling me a control freak?"
Mac looked at him intently and seriously explained, "Because now, you can't stand to have Singer dictating the terms of anything. You refuse to let her have power over the outcome of the slightest thing that you might have a say in, even though it's going to end up hurting our client."
"That's not true."
"Then why are you being so stubborn about advising Jacobs to accept the deal she's offering? We both know he'll be crucified if this goes to court martial."
"I did offer a counter-deal!" he argued.
"Yeah, because that would have put you in control of the terms. But she's not going to budge on her offer, and if I were her, I wouldn't either."
Harm looked away, and mused in a complaining tone, "I don't know why the Admiral put you on this case with me anyhow. I can handle it myself."
Mac became infuriated at that comment. "Well, I am so sorry that working with me is so incredibly offensive!" she fumed, feeling hurt. She stood to leave.
"That's not how I meant it, Mac," he lamely protested.
She shook her head at him and then shrugged her shoulders. "You're first chair on this case," she acknowledged. "Don't let me affect how you handle things," she said sarcastically. "That'll just take away some of that precious control of yours."
She opened the door. "I'll be around to talk … if you ever come to your senses." And with that, she left.
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TBC …
