"Grandpa? Grandpa! Grandpa, wake up!"
There was a rumble of thunder, and five-year-old Lovino was more or less irritated at the whining he heard down the hall. He stood in the TV light and flashing lightning like a small shadow.
Grandpa sat up in bed, having been woken up. "Lovi, what is it?"
"Feli's crying, he's in my bed and won't let me sleep." Lovino rattled off, voice muffled as he was swept up into his grandfather's arms. Thunder rumbled loudly.
Grandpa smiled warmly and carried Lovino back to his room. "He's only afraid, Lovi."
"Well, can't he be afraid somewhere else? I was sleeping."
Lovino pouted at hearing Grandpa chuckle. His expression turned into a scowl as a bundle of blankets stumbled towards them, like a baby deer learning how to walk. Grandpa swept sweet Feli up into his arms too, offering another warm smile at the startled shriek.
"Calm down, you dummy." Lovino hissed, frowning as his little brother blinked at him with watery dark eyes.
"How about a story, Feli?" Grandpa interrupted, settling down on the bed with the two of them. He waited for them to settle before bringing the thick blanket up to their chins. Feli had snatched Lovino's stuffed bear from where it had fallen off the bed.
Lovino sighed, shifting to huddle underneath the blankets comfortably. He supposed his brother could stay in his room for the night.
"The candy shop story," he heard Feli request as best as he could with a voice muffled by the blanket. More thunder roared and lightning flashed, briefly brightening the room, and Lovino squirmed at the small hand that grabbed at his shirt in distress.
"Okay, the candy shop story…" Grandpa agreed.
Lovino sighed again, curling up tightly. The candy shop story. Grandpa changed it every time.
The candy shop, Can-Do Candy, was a big brick building that resided on the corner of a calmer part of town, just a couple blocks away from a park and across the street from a pizzeria.
The smooth sidewalks outside of the store were always covered in colorful chalk drawings. A metal sign laced with neon lights that didn't light until the streetlights did at dusk. On the glass door was an OPEN and CLOSED sign that was never battered, always new. The big windows held displays of candy, whether it was shallow glass bowls of different hard candies or crafted chocolate placed on white handkerchiefs.
One Saturday afternoon, two boys came into the candy shop. One had a small plastic bag full of quarters and the other had a camera. The boy with the camera was missing a front tooth. Their hair was half-dry as though they had gone swimming.
Lovino watched out of the corner of his eye as Grandpa scooped out the sour jelly beans and counted the blocks of peanut butter fudge into two separate brown paper bags. There was the sound of Lovino counting out the quarters with the quick click-! click-! click-! of each coin being placed down on the glass counter. He placed the boys' extra change back into their bag, placing it with the bags of candy.
Lovino was momentarily blinded by a sudden flash, jumping. Grandpa laughed and the two boys did too.
"What was that for?" Lovino snapped, watching the boy take the white square from his camera and wave it slightly as it developed.
The boy laughed. "You looked nice! Like, you counting the quarters would make a nice picture." He looked at the picture before holding it out for Lovino to see. "It does!"
"It's stupid."
"No it's not!"
Lovino huffed, glaring off to the side.
The two boys left. The older brother with the quarters and the jelly beans was named Tomas. Antonio was around Lovino's age, nine, and he was already taking a bite of peanut butter fudge before he was out the door.
Antonio moved away from the small town two years later.
It was sudden and the day he'd left, it might have been raining. Antonio had been one of his closest friends.
"Feli!"
Lovino had called his brother's name the moment the bell above the door rattled at three in the afternoon. A bookbag fell to the floor behind the counter and Feli shuffled up the stairs to the shop's kitchen. A silver bowl sat alone on the big metal table. Lovino stood at one section of counter, a loud humming coming from the hand mixer he held. The kitchen smelled like chocolate.
A moment later, the humming died out and Lovino wiped his hands on his apron before turning to face his brother.
"Mm?"
"Try the candy there. All by myself this morning."
Lovino watched his brother with amusement as Feli snatched up a piece of the wrapped candy from the bowl, unwrapping the sticky taffy and, without another thought, tossing the bite-sized piece into his mouth.
Feli's eyes widened and he grinned. "It tastes like orange creamsicle! My favorite..." He laughed, delighted, and raised a hand to cover his mouth. "You figured it out? Oh my God… We finally have a recipe!"
It was one in the morning when Lovino came home, chilled and quiet. He was sniffling and his face felt raw and red and tender from crying.
Peeking into the living room, he found Feli asleep on the couch. Lovino let him be, fixing a blanket over his brother, and carried on to his own bedroom.
He fell asleep the moment he curled up under his thick blankets. It seemed like only minutes had passed rather than hours when Feli eased open the door and woke up Lovino. Harsh yellow hallway light creeped into the room, crashing into the dreary early morning blue seeping from the windows.
Lovino groaned, propping himself upright on an elbow. He rubbed at his eyes, blinking from the clock to Feli. It was 5:30 AM. He sighed, lifting up the blankets. "C'mon…" he mumbled.
Feli crawled underneath them, curling up beside his brother. Lovino carefully placed an arm around him, and lightly rubbed his back. Feli sighed then too, and he seemed to relax slightly.
"... Lovi, how's Grandpa? Is he okay?"
"Go back to sleep, Feli. I'll tell you in the morning."
"No!" Feli momentarily tensed up. "… No… Please, can't you tell me now?"
Lovino was quiet for a while, and Feli wondered if he'd fallen asleep, or was instead waiting for Feli himself to fall asleep, until: "... Feli, he's not good. I… I don't know when, b-but… it's soon…"
The two of them were there when the line went flat.
"Grandpa? Grandpa! Grandpa, wake up!"
Feli wailed and shrieked. Lovino numbly held his brother upright to keep him from falling to the hospital floor. Everything felt surreal.
It was in the afternoon when it began to rain. Having been just a light drizzle at first, Lovino sighed almost happily at the increasing sizzle on the roof and on the road. The pitter-patter of the rain reminded him of fireworks - the white ones that turned to gold dust, and then to nothing.
Jagged headlights reached across the windows and filled with the shop with a brief light as evening neared. Turning on the store lights while it was raining made Lovino think it would make the shop seem too clean and rather creepy. The gray light left the store feeling dusty and cozy. Lovino quite liked it.
He sat on the stool behind the counter, most of his customers having come for treats before the rain had started. The store was empty, and he passed the time on his phone now. His clothes still smelled like the cherry syrup he had accidentally spilled that morning.
Lovino considered closing up the shop early. It was raining, and bound to rain until morning. No one had come, and he was rather tired.
Lovino sighed, checking the time on his phone. The bell above the door cried out and Lovino snapped his head around to the door. A dripping-wet figure stood at the door. Lovino watched the stranger curiously.
"... How may I help you?"
The man ran a hand through his dark hair, nearing the counter and leaving a trail of shimmering footprints in his wake. "Do you still sell peanut butter fudge by any chance?"
"Yeah, but I…" Lovino was puzzled. "I don't mean to be rude, but you come when it's rain- basically raining cats and dogs at 7:30 in the evening without any sort of umbrella or- or anything... just for peanut butter fudge?"
"Uh, yeah?"
"It couldn't have waited until tomorrow?"
"... I wanted it now?"
Lovino sighed, as if frustrated, but he offered a smile. "Let me get you a towel and I'll get a fresh batch from upstairs?"
The man's eyes brightened childishly. "Okay!"
Lovino slid off the stool, drifting around the counter and passed the man, heading across the room and to the set of stairs that led upwards. He disappeared up the stairs, the sturdy wood creaking underneath his feet.
When Lovino came back down the stairs, a fluffy towel over his shoulder and a tray of fresh peanut butter fudge in his grasp. The man was walking slowly around the store, admiring all of the little details of the place. He paused for a long moment at the picture in memorial of Grandpa.
"... You know, Lovi, I thought this place would have changed the moment you got it."
Lovino halted. His heartbeat sped and skipped like the tumbling of the rain. That voice brought him back to a place from years ago, when they could run away to the old swing set in the park and grass stained his hands and knees. When he spoke, his voice was a whisper and it echoed and it hurt.
"... Toni?"
The man turned around from the picture on the wall, throwing a bit of a careless smile in Lovino's direction. "... Hi, Lovi."
Lovino's swing squeaked as he swept forward and he glanced up at Antonio. Antonio stood on his swing, swaying slowly. It was night, and the two of them should have been home by then. The streetlights were the only lights besides the stars, the moon, and the headlights. It was unnerving, but to the them, it was peaceful.
"... What?" he whispered. The crickets sang. The fireflies flickered. He hadn't quite heard what terrible thing had been said.
"I'm moving tomorrow. Dad got promoted." Antonio repeated quietly.
Lovino dragged his feet on the dirt ground beneath him. "You can't move. You're my best friend. I can't be alone."
"I know."
"Where are you going?"
Antonio's swing swayed to a stop. "... New York."
"That's… so far away…"
"I know."
"You-..." Lovino moved to sit the tray down on the counter, whacking Antonio with the towel. "You dick!" he spat.
"Wha-! Woah, woah, Lovi-! Lovi, hey-! Stop-! Ow-!" Antonio's protests were interrupted with the thwacks from the towel and small bursts of laughter on his own part.
Lovino didn't stop until he was out of breath and a wobbly smile was trying to take over his lips.
"You…" he began again, whispering and looking at the floor. He sniffed. "You asshole…"
Antonio hesitantly took the towel out of Lovino's hands to dry off with. He scrubbed at his hair, watching Lovino through his curling locks. Lovino slumped his shoulders and hung his head slightly.
"I'm sorry. I would have stayed if I could've, but you know-..."
"Yeah," Lovino sighed faintly. "I know. I'm sorry."
"Wha-? No! No, you have nothing to be sorry for. I promised to keep in contact with you but I didn't do that, I never did that. No call, no text, no email, no nothing for ten years. I wasn't a very good best friend."
"Wasn't?" Lovino mentioned, watching Antonio curiously. He took a knife from under the counter, wiping it with the towel hanging from the band of his apron and went about distracting himself by cutting the peanut butter fudge into squares.
"Hm?"
"Aren't you still my friend? My best friend?" Lovino whispered, interrupted with a burst of thunder and a flash of lightning. He placed several cubes onto a napkin.
"Do you want me to be?"
"Do you still want your fudge?" There was a hint of a shaky, relieved smile on the corner of Lovino's mouth. He knew the answer.
Antonio slowly grinned. "Yeah."
They were quiet. It was rather awkward, but Lovino pushed the napkin of cut fudge across the counter to Antonio. Grin growing soft, he picked up one of the squares and took a small bite. Lovino watched him curiously.
"... You always used to change the recipe."
It had been Grandpa's recipe ever since-
Lovino laughed. "You mean how I always used to ruin the recipe? I didn't like you."
Antonio snorted faintly. "Sure. How much for the fudge?"
Lovino was going about putting the rest of the squares into one of the cubbies in the display case.
"... Free."
"Free?"
"Mm. What have you been up to all these years? How have you been?"
"You're being so friendly, Lovi, it's rather startling."
"It's been ten years." Lovino noted almost bitterly, and then insisted: "How have you been?"
Antonio sighed rather stubbornly as he gave in. "... I suppose I've been fine. Uh, New York was a bit of a mess, honestly, and I'm still getting used to being back, haha... Oh, I got a haircut today!"
It was Lovino's turn to snort, but also squint at Antonio in the dreary evening light to see that his half-dry hair was curling into an unruly mess. "An undercut? Only you would point that out. It looks nice."
"Thank you. So what about you, how have you been? And Feli?"
"... Grandpa's death was a heavy blow." Lovino started hesitantly, putting away the tray and knife so he could clean them later. "We just… couldn't bring ourselves to up and leave after that, so we stayed. I've been here at the store with Feli. He's going to school for writing in the fall."
"Writing?" Antonio echoed.
"Surprised me too. He's also with Ludwig now."
Antonio hummed in response, looking out the window and back down to his supply of peanut butter fudge.
"Don't tell me you're going back out- you'll catch a cold." Lovino swung a second stool around the counter, standing it on the floor beside Antonio. He seated himself back on his own stool, snatching one of the cubes of fudge. "Stay until it stops? I can drive you home."
Antonio sat down, smile soft. "I'll stay until it stops."
"You didn't come home until late last night - doesn't the library close at 8? What were you doing out until 11? You stayed out too long that you got sick." Lovino wondered aloud several weeks later from where he stood at the stove in the kitchen, stirring soup for Feli.
Feli coughed as he pulled the blanket tighter around himself. "What were you doing out until 11?" he mumbled mockingly, voice hoarse. "You know I was working on that essay! But the ceiling started to leak in the children's section and on the upper floor of the adults' that it was raining so much last night. I stayed to help set the books out to dry and make sure no more leaks happened."
Lovino glanced over his shoulder at his brother.
"And I may…" Feli continued, under his breath. "have gone out with Ludwig after that…"
Lovino paused, and smiled a bit. "Ludwig?"
Feli suddenly looked frantic. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Lovi, but we haven't spent any time together for the last couple weeks…!"
Pouring the soup into a bowl, Lovino placed it on the table beside Feli before getting him a spoon. "Oh Feli, can't I tease you?"
Feli stuck his tongue out, dipping his spoon into the soup. "No."
Lovino couldn't help but laugh. "Okay-!" Someone knocking on the front door interrupted him and Feli's face lit up mercilessly.
"Is that Toni?"
Lovino pressed his lips together.
"Are you gonna kiss-?!"
"No!"
Lovino stood up with a blushing face, glaring as Feli dissolved into scratchy laughter. "Oh, Lovi, can't I tease you? Can't I tease Toni? He likes you." His brother hummed, resting his chin on the palm of his hand and stirring the soup with his spoon. The blanket fell from his shoulder and Feli grinned.
"No!" Lovino repeated, fighting off his slight smile. Feli laughed. "We're just going to the bookstore… He wants to find a new cook book, I think."
"Okay…" Feli trailed, squeaking when Lovino flicked his forehead. "Hey!"
"Eat your soup and get some more sleep, I'll be back later, okay?"
"Can I take pictures of you making the ice cream?"
Lovino snorted faintly. "Aren't you helping?"
"Can we make milkshakes?"
"Aren't you helping? This was your idea, so put the damn camera down."
Antonio laughed, sitting the camera on the counter a safe distance away from where they would be shaking the bags of cream and ice chips. Lovino tossed him one of the two bags.
"Can we play music and dance?"
"I'll make you shake both of these."
Antonio blinked at Lovino, relaxing when noticing the teasing, crooked smile on his lips. He grinned. "No you won't."
There was a flash, sharp and icy, and Lovino snapped his head around to Antonio. "You had it on a timer?!" he hissed.
"No. That was lightning."
"No it wasn't."
"C'mon, you look nice. See, you're smiling!" He showed Lovino the developing square.
Lovino set down his bag of to-be ice cream, instead picking up a striped dish towel and whipping Antonio with it.
After several tense moments, Lovino sighed, throwing the towel on the counter and picking the bag up again. "Just shake your damn ice cream."
It was in the afternoon when it began to rain. Having been just a light drizzle at first, Lovino sighed almost happily at the increasing sizzle on the roof and on the road. The pitter-patter of the rain reminded him of fireworks - the white ones that turned to gold dust, and then to nothing.
Lovino sat at the counter, glowing in the bright light of his cell phone, and a lollipop in his mouth. The day was slow and empty, he was alone in the store and his mouth sweet with strawberry. But then his phone rang, and the moment he answered the call, the lollipop he held fell to the floor. It broke like glass, into millions of little pieces, and Lovino found that he couldn't breathe at all.
Lovino stood in the doorway of the hospital room.
Didn't they say it was a car crash? Aren't they the Can-do Candy brothers?
Lovino wailed and shrieked. No one was there to keep him from falling to the hospital floor.
Alone, Lovino told Feli, even though he couldn't hear him, the original candy shop story.
That was three days ago and Lovino was closing the store when the sun had just begun to set. The keys jingled too loudly in his hands, and his hand shook as he tried to look the front door.
He heard a car pull up along the sidewalk behind him, and then: "... Lovi?"
Lovino glanced over his shoulder. "... 'Tonio." he muttered.
Antonio jolted slightly at the sight. Lovino looked like he hadn't slept in days, or if he had, then it had been very little sleep in an uncomfortable place. Like his ice cream and candy fuel had diminished to a couple of melted strawberry mouthfuls and crushed strawberry chips. "Lovi, are you okay? Can I give you a ride home?"
"No. Leave me alone."
"Lovi, did something happen?"
"What didn't happen?!" Lovino shouted.
Antonio fell quiet, and Lovino stood there shaking. Staring at the ground, he sniffed, spinning around and stepping off the curb into a rain puddle, going around the muggy car to the side door. He sat down, looking out the window and ignoring Antonio's concerned stare.
They drove away, but they didn't drive home.
Antonio drove until the town was behind them, until the colors of the sky had been stolen away and replaced with darkness and the moon lingered in its sentient path, until the road they drove on brought them to a bridge above a highway. He pulled off to the side, headlights glaring at the wall over the edge and thinning woods creeping around them.
"Lovi, please, talk to me."
Lovino huddled against the door, a beaten mess of a crisp white shirt, black vest, and faded converse shoes. His hair was dark and clean, but unkempt, and the moonlight turned it a dusty bronze. At this angle, the bags under his copper eyes were smooth and prominent on his skin.
"Feli's like candy and childhood. Delightful moments that you don't really cherish until they're gone." Lovino whispered, voice hoarse. Had he been crying the whole car ride, silently?
Everything stopped, and Antonio didn't know what to say.
"... Is he-?"
"Feli came down that morning, smiling at me and dressed nice for his date later that day with Ludwig." Lovino mumbled. "Feli loves Fruit Loops as much as he loves orange creamsicle, 'Tonio, and, with his mouth full, he asked if I could let him leave the candy store a little bit earlier so that he could meet with Ludwig for dinner before their movie. I said yes, Antonio, I said yes and now no one knows if he'll wake up because I said yes and because some drunk bastard ran a red light!"
They sat in silence for a few hours.
It was Antonio's goal to distract Lovino. Make him smile, make him laugh.
Antonio got him to smile at ten at night. At eleven they laughed. At midnight, Lovino wondered if what he felt was love.
He leaned back in his seat, breathless and warm from laughing at the terrible story from their childhood Antonio had left hanging in the rainy morning air. A friendly silence took over, but Lovino only glanced over when he murmured: "There's my favorite smile."
And Lovino said, after a single, stunned second of letting his tired eyes follow the lights along the opposite cliff of a lone car on the highway: "I love you." He wasn't sure if that was the sadness talking or not - it left him rather numb, but the sudden happiness left him high.
It felt right.
Antonio's faded black car pulled up to Lovino's house at five in the morning, the moon having disappeared and the cloudless sky that chilling blue that was promised to bring rain.
Lovino stood on the sidewalk, between the narrow, paved walkway leading to the front door of the house and Antonio's car. He wiped his eyes, he hesitated.
"Lovi?"
"... I don't want to go home tonight."
"You don't have to."
Antonio led the way up the creaking stairs of the apartment building. The building was brick, and it reminded Lovino of the candy shop, but it was more uptown and down the street from a snug, family-run café. Lovino stood behind Antonio, a smaller shadow of his friend, as the door was unlocked and they stepped inside. A fluffy calico cat greeted them.
"You have a cat?"
Antonio grinned. "Her name's Peppermint."
The sky had cleared from the wondrous blue into thick, gray clouds. The white light bled through the windows and Lovino kept blinking his sore eyes. Antonio drew the curtains closed and showed Lovino around his small apartment, lighting vanilla and lavender candles as he went.
"Are you hungry? You haven't eaten anything for a long while."
Lovino shrugged and sat down at the kitchen table, both worn black bookbag and Peppermint at his feet. Gray sunlight slipped passed the curtains of the window behind him, giving Lovino a harsh glow.
"I'll run to the café. They should have opened by now..." It was 7:30 in the morning.
Antonio came back with a crinkling brown bag and a to-go tray of coffee cups, but the burning sip greeted Lovino with hot chocolate when they sat down together at the table.
Antonio pushed across the table two steaming, sugar-dusted French toast sandwiches on a white napkin to him. The forkful was gooey with soggy, sweet strawberries. Antonio had two muffins filled with peanut butter and drizzled with a grape jam. Lovino decided it was too messy when he was offered to try it.
At nine in the morning, they fell asleep.
"Do you want to make a cake?"
"What flavor?"
"Strawberry."
"Hm."
"So, do you?"
"You'll get eggshells in it."
"No I won't-!"
"We made an orange creamsicle cake for Feli last month. You cracked the eggs and you stirred the batter while I was making the icing. He wanted to try it so we both had a piece and we both got a tiny piece of eggshell."
"So no cake?"
"No, we can make a cake, but I'm cracking the eggs."
It was midnight when the cake was done. It had begun to storm, thunder crackling and lightning flashing across the sky. The apartment smelled like strawberries. One moment, Lovino was taste-testing their icing, and the next Antonio pulled him close - sudden enough that Lovino stumbled and fell against Antonio. They leaned against the counter, Antonio kissing Lovino once, twice, very lightly. Lovino draped one arm around Antonio's shoulders, returning the kiss only once, before that was that, and he wanted to decorate the cake instead.
"... Hey, 'Tonio? You up?" Lovino murmured. It was still dark out, he was in Antonio's arms. How long had they been asleep? He could still taste strawberry cake. Peppermint was curled up by their feet.
"Mm?"
"... You think Feli's gonna wake up soon?"
"I do, Lovi. I really do. Please get some sleep."
"... Hey, 'Tonio?"
"What, Lovi?"
"You won't leave me alone, right?"
"What makes you say that?" And Antonio was greeted with silence. Perhaps Lovino had fallen asleep again. He tightened his grip around Lovino. "... I won't ever let you go."
The next afternoon they sat in the café for lunch, their table against the big window. They were dressed rather nicely. Lovino sipped quietly from a coffee cup and Antonio was eating one of the types of sandwiches from the menu - Lovino didn't know what kind but there was a small puddle of tomato juice gathering on the white plate.
"I'm going back to the candy store tomorrow-..." Lovino suddenly began, like it really mattered to say such a thing. Antonio wouldn't care, or maybe he would. But then his phone lit up, and he froze at the sight of the number from the hospital.
"Hello…?"
Antonio watched him curiously.
Lovino looked down, blinking at the tears in his eyes, blinking at the tears so they could fall already. He smiled, his relieved laughter caught in his throat. Frantically, he stood up but Antonio caught his free hand, holding Lovino's in both of his, and pressing his car keys into Lovino's hand.
"I'll catch a bus." Antonio murmured, smiling slightly.
Lovino blinked, nodding. He smiled back, Antonio's favorite smile. "I'll be right over." he said into his phone, leaving the café behind and disappearing down the street.
A/N - Well, happy late birthday, The Forgotten Traveller! This is only part one of your present! ;) I hope you like it!
