Title: Harry Potter and the Moulin Rouge
Authors: Nightshade Darkholme and Rachel Hunt
Summary: This is why, Ron, there are those laws about fiddling with Muggle inventions… Your favorite Hogwarts characters take the places of the stars of the movie Moulin Rouge! Tiger Tiger Rrroow rrrrrow!!
Rating: PG-13 for some sexual themes and heavily disturbing content, such as Snape, The Sparkling Diamond.
Genre: Humor/Drama
Disclaimers: It wouldn't be in the Harry Potter section of a fanfiction site if we were claiming to own it. Nor do we own the fantastic movie, Moulin Rouge.
Authors Note: Enjoy! And please Read and REVIEW!! Feedback is not only welcome, but encouraged.
**~~~~ Chapter One: It's all Pigwidgeon's Fault!! ~~~~**
Ron grumbled as he set the portable 'Telewision' and VCR on a table in the Gryffindor common room. Harry and Hermione looked on, bemused. Lee Jordan, Fred, and George played Wizard Chess in the background, the twins, as they often did, acting as one entity. Ginny and Neville occasionally offered their advice. They ignored the trio.
"Now," Ron said as he sat down between his two friends, "I told you I've been working on something over the summer, right?"
Hermione looked amused. "Ron, you mentioned it with every owl you sent!"
Ron grinned. He looked proud of himself, and gesturing to the telly with a flourish proclaimed, "This!"
Harry and Hermione, having grown up with TV, waited for the punch line.
"Ron… Muggles invented that quite awhile ago. Besides," Hermione went on in her know-it-all way, "As I've told you before, electronics don't work at Hogwarts! The magical currents-"
"Interfere blah blah blah!" Ron huffed as if Hermione were very dense. "I fixed it! My dad and I made it so that it runs off of magic!"
"Oh!" Harry and Hermione exclaimed. Harry smiled. "Ron, that's really great."
Hermione too smiled. "Nice, Ron. So, what movie do you have?"
"Um…" Ron rummaged through his book bag. He pulled out a tape, looking dubious. "Umm… Moo-lin Roo-guh."
Hermione looked ready to smack her forehead… or Ron's. " Ron! Not 'Moo-lin Roo-guh!' It's French! It's Moulin Rouge!"
Harry looked delighted. "Oh, Moulin Rouge! That's the one you were telling me about, right 'Mione? I wanted to see that… annoying Dursleys…"
Ron, looking quite red, put the tape in. He then pulled out his wand, and aiming it at the beat-up devices, started muttering a spell.
Harry looked up at Pigwidgeon, who was flying in hyperactive circles about the room. He seemed to notice Ron for the first time…
"PIG, NO!!!"
Pigwidgeon flew into Ron before he finished the spell. The result…
A great explosion, issued from the end of Ron's wand, and a great burst of smoke. A phosphorescent turquoise wave shot rumbling through the floor of the common room, up the walls… and out through the rest of the castle. Red sparks were bouncing dangerously around the room; they at least seemed confined to the cylindrical space.
No one in the room moved, not even to breathe. After a moment Ron merely screamed, "PIGWIDGEON!!!!"
The tiny owl let out a pitifully small 'Hoo' in response.
Fred and George snickered. "Ickle Ronniekin's gonna be in trouble…"
They heard loud shouting and a steady beat of thump thump thumps heading for the common room from outside. Harry counted down, "Three, two, one…" and the portrait hole burst open, three professors pouring in.
"Now you back off, Severus, they're my students and I will handle them!"
"You'll handle them?! Mr. Malfoy and I were working on a very delicate potion and it was all RUINED because of something one of your students did! POTTER!"
"It wasn't me!"
McGonagall glared at the twins. They immediately pointed at Ron.
The whole room turned to look at him. He hadn't moved since yelling at Pigwidgeon. He still stood there, his wand aimed at the 'fixed' TV, his eyes larger than they ought to have been. They seemed to stand out even more, now that his face was blackened and hair blown back from the initial explosion.
Draco Malfoy snickered from where he stood at the portrait hole. He had followed his professor up, seeing the opportunity to find out the location of the Gryiffindor common room and watch a Gryffindor be humiliated… double bonus.
McGonagall and Snape, sounding much alike, gritted out, "Weasley….!"
Dumbledore, the third professor, put a hand on each of his friends' shoulders. "Now, Minerva, Severus, calm down and we'll sort this out."
Snape looked murderous. "I don't want to sort this out I want to wring Weasley's neck." The proclamation was all the more frightening for the calm tone in which it was said.
Ron pointed to the still-prostrate owl. "It was Pigwidgeon's fault!"
"I'm sure it was Mr. Weasley! That is why the owl is the one holding the wand and covered in what appears to be soot! It all makes sense now!" McGonagall exclaimed.
But before anyone could get another word out, the remaining red sparks, which had until then been ricocheting off the walls, hit the remains of the TV/VCR. Before anyone knew what was happening, they were all being sucked into the TV. Malfoy tried to run, but alas, he may have been the last to succumb, but he too was pulled into the TV. And so started the adventure through the world of the Moulin Rouge….
*~~~~~~*~~~~~~*
A/N: Okay kiddies, if you want more, review!!!
