Behind Blue Eyes

Author: Brynne Summary: A songfic. Sark contemplates.
Category: Angst Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Please don't sue. I have no money. Alias is not mine, neither is The Who.

AN: Was listening to this song and I was like "Sounds like Sark" So I had to hunt down the lyrics to the song because I was told the wrong title and got completely confused.

Another foiled mission. Not one of his, but on of Sydney's. Once she had another artifact, say something witty, get the artifact, blah, blah, blah. It was almost boring. Sigh. Wonder if there is anything good on the radio? Ah, The Who!

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

Well that's depressing. I always thought it was called "Behind Blue Eyes" but maybe it should be called "The-Song that so accurately describes Sark's life"

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

I wonder if that's how she sees me? A cold-blooded killer. She used too...but does she still? Am I still so evil and appalling to her? Would she not touch me with thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole? Hee hee, the Grinch.

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

No, they aren't. They're full of darkness and sin. I wake up sweating from a dream of past memories and broken promises. When someone thinks of the word dream, they think of happy things. Mine have never been happy. And yet, I'm not so sure they are nightmares...

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

Vengeance is a drug to me. I can't stop. It, ironically, stables me. I tried to stop once. I couldn't. It's...it's...a part of me...

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

I do blame her. For forcing me into this world of masked agendas, no emotions, and spinning into the abyss.

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

No one knows my fears. I myself barely know my own fears; I've hidden them so long. I've worn a mask for so long, I don't know which is the real me and which is just a mask.

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

I think I love her. Whenever I'm around her, I can't seem to show it. Suddenly the walls go up when she's near. When will they crumble?

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

I haven't laughed, really laughed, since I was little. When I was young, on the green shores of Ireland, with my mother...but she was ripped away from me...happiness does not exist for me...

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

Since I was ten, I've had to rely on only myself. I only trusted myself, no one else. Because when you trust the wrong person, they hurt you.

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
What do you think? Sucked? Good? Review please!!