Timeline: Season three...just after "That Vision Thing"...
Disclaimer: Characters-Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt; Song-Bryan Adams
Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
When you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
"You feeling any better?" Angel asked, going into the bedroom where Cordelia lie. She looked so much better--the burns and boils and gashes had all disappeared--and happier too. He knew she was happy but something about her half-hearted smile broke him into pieces all over again.
"I feel like a truck hit me then backed up and did it again," Cordelia joked lightly, flashing him a fake smile.
"Cor...I know you way too well for you to be feeding out that bullshit. You know that," Angel sat down on the chair next to her bed. The lamp behind him cast a haunting glow on her face. The shadows mixed with the pain her face reflected was enough to send him into a mental spiral.
"I'm okay, Angel, I promise," Cordelia assured him--though it did the complete opposite--he knew in that instant--when she couldn't tell how she really felt--that something was seriously wrong with her.
"Cordelia Chase, look at me...Can you truthfully tell me that you're all right?" Angel turned her chin towards him.
"Yes," she replied but her eyes never met his--instead the scent of tears filled his nostrils. He felt that urge to smother her tears in his kisses. To taste the saltiness of the water that was plaguing her prefect face.
"Cordelia..." he warned softly as he gently began to caress her cheek with his hand.
"You shouldn't have done it," Cordelia breathed, glancing up at him, "you shouldn't have let him go..."
Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
"I did it for you," Angel replied--his fingers were still dancing across her cheekbone.
"That's my point," Cordelia said, covering his hand with hers, halting his caress.
"Mine too," he interjected as he pulled their hands away from her cheek. Slowly he kissed the top of her hand. He smiled down at her but she ripped her hand away.
"Angel, you are my best friend but what you did was not right," Cordelia's eyes were brimming with tears again.
"Funny, it felt right to me."
"It felt right at the time," Cordelia corrected, her voice hardening.
"No," Angel snapped standing up, "no, see. Because it feels right now too!"
"You don't know what you're talking about!" Cordelia pushed herself up into a sitting position.
"I know exactly what I'm talking about! It felt right then and it feels right now!"
"Angel, you know what you did was wrong!" Angel placed his hands on either side of Cordelia so his face was mere inches from hers.
"I know. I know it was wrong. But guess what? I'd do it again in a heartbeat--albeit not mine--but I would," he pulled away, "how can you say that you're not worth everything?"
"Because I'm not!" her voice faltered, "I'm not. I'm not worth risking the world's--our friend's--lives. What if that guy--whoever the hell he was--is a danger to us? To you? I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you because of me."
Angel returned to the seat beside her bed. He took her hand in his and gently stroked it with his thumb.
"Neither could I," he whispered, "Lilah was using you to get to me. If you died, I don't what I would've done without you. I need you."
There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way
"You don't need me. You'd get along just fine without me," Cordelia countered softly.
"I need you more than I need blood--more than I need to feel the earth beneath me--more than I need to live--or carry on with my un-living--I need you. Just you," Angel said. His hand captured her cheek again. He brushed away a non-existent hair in her eyes.
"I need you too," Cordelia whispered, more tears spilling onto her cheeks. Angel leaned forward and kissed her tears gently.
"We need each other--and I swear to you--I will let nothing happen to you ever again," Angel promised, sweeping his hand through her hair.
"Ditto," Cordelia sighed, closing her eyes and falling into Angel's embrace.
Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Yeah, I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - Yeah I'd die for you
You know it's true
Everything I do - Ohhh, I do it for you
Wolfram & Hart, 2004
"I need you too," she'd said. He'd promised not to let anything happen to her--a lot of good that did--she was dead now.
"I love you, Cordelia," he murmured in the dark office.
"I love you too," she whispered back...
