I thought about it and wondered, what happened with Tonks right before Harry came to stay at the Burrow. Just a short little one-shot.
Disclaimer: If I were J.K. Rowling, wait...who said I was?
"You never really see the commas in a sentence till you have to rewrite a paragraph in HBP and have to remember each detail so you don't look back down at the page and lose time. Trust me! I never realized how many commas J.K. puts in one sentence."
-Avatar Rikki
She was upset. That's all she knew. She was scared too. She didn't know where she was going or why she felt this way. She was running from her parents' house after having a mental breakdown. She stopped outside the gates. She spun around. The familiar feeling of apperation surrounded her until she came out in an overgrown yard.
She was surprised she ended up here. The place hadn't even crossed her mind. Checking to see if she splinched herself, she stood up and brushed over her body. Satisfied, she walked up to the door and knocked.
"Who's there?" a voice asked from the other side.
"It is I, Nymphadora Tonks. Auror, Metamorphmagus, and member of the Order of the Phoenix." She said this calmly, making sure to not show suspicion.
"Tonks, dear," the voice said. The door opened to reveal a short, plump woman with red hair in a green nightgown. She looked worried to see the young girl at this late hour. "Come in and sit down. I'll make some tea." She closed the door behind her and sat at the table.
"Thanks Molly," Tonks sighed as she sat down. She took the cup from Molly and sipped it slowly. The tea warmed her, but it didn't help the healing.
"Are you okay? You seem upset about something?" Leave it to Molly Weasly to find her weak spot.
"I'm still upset since the last time we talked." She was looking at the cup, not daring to look in Molly's eyes.
"It's not your fault Sirius died. You must stop blaming yourself," Molly begged.
"There's more to it," Tonks mumbled, still not looking up. She remembered the day clearly.
She was at the Ministry, right in front of the veil. "Why didn't I get her? I was fighting her. I should have killed her. And now he's gone." She was crying about her cousin. The cousin much older than her, from the family she never associated with. The cousin who was in Azkaban half her life. She didn't know much about him but it was still her fault he died.
"Tonks," a soft voice said. She looked up at the unchanged face. He wasn't crying. His best friend just DIED and he showed no emotion.
"Oh, it's you," she sobbed, wiping her eyes."Why aren't you crying?" It was blurted out so fast, she couldn't stop. But what really surprised her was he chuckled. His best friend dies and he laughs.
"It's not as hard the second time," he explained.
'Of course,' she thought. 'James and Lily. Must be harder for Harry.' "But you still should be upset."
"It's hard," he sighed. "But I learned the hard way that life goes on. Just think 15 years ago, James and Lily died, Sirius went to Azkaban, and Peter's body was destroyed leaving a finger in its place. If I can't
figure out life goes on after that, I'd be in trouble." He smiled. She loved that smile. Even in tragic, scared times he still found something to smile about.
"So he's really back," Tonks said. Seeing his confused face, she added, "Voldemort, I mean." He sighed. She wondered if she had asked the one question he didn't want to answer.
"I thought you always knew he was back," he said quietly.
"No, I did," she answered quickly. "I mean, well, it's just…" Her voice became quiet. "Did it feel this way before? Not knowing what was happening, who would go next or who you could trust." Lupin was quiet. Trying to not relive those painful memories.
"You know," she said, getting louder this time. How was she going to say this? She took a deep breath. "I always thought you were strong. The way you handle your 'furry little problem', the way you seem to stay unemotional during tough times. It's probably why I like you so much." She hesitated. This is what she was afraid of. No wonder she wasn't put in Gryffindor. "Maybe even love you." She held her breath. She hoped she was right.
"Well don't," he said. She looked up at his aged face only for him to turn around.
"Don't what?"
"Don't love me," he snapped. "I'm way too old for you."
"So, that makes no difference," she protested.
"I'm too poor."
"Money doesn't make me see you differently. You're smart, kind. I care about you not material things."
"I'M TOO DANGEROUS," he shouted, his voice echoing off the walls.
"No you're not, she answered softly. "You're not like others of your kind. You're nice, you don't attack people who make you angry, and you don't care what their family history is. You're not dangerous."
"Yes I am," he growled. "And I would kindly ask you to remember that" He stormed off, leaving Tonks confused and more upset than ever. She looked at the veil.
"You told me he liked me," she sobbed. "You told me he liked my morphing and thought I was kind and funny. Why aren't you here Sirius? You could explain these things to me." She got up and left the room.
As she was walking down a hall, going out of the ministry, she passed a mirror. She looked at her reflection. She saw something different. Tear stains were etched across her face, her skin pale with a hint of exhaustion. She looked closer. Something wasn't right. She couldn't put her finger on it. Then it hit her.
Her hair! Her hair was the same length as before but wasn't pink. It was a mousy brown. She remembered her mother saying something about brown being her first hair color when she was born.
Concentrating on her hair, she thought of bubble-gum pink. She watched as her hair slowly turned pink. But halfway there, it fell back to the mousy brown she wished was gone. She tried more and more changes. Pig snout nose, short hair, even if it turned blond she'd be happy.
She got out of her daydream. Thinking back made her sadder than she needed to be.
"Tonks dear," Molly said. She looked concerned. She could defiantly help. "You seem pale. Are you alright?" Tonks looked into her mug again.
"No, not really."
"Will you tell me?" she asked. Tonks looked up at the comforting face looking back at her.
"Well…" Then three knocks came. Molly moved swiftly to the door. Tonks hand shot to her wand but she didn't pull it out of her pocket.
"Who's there?" Molly asked. "Declare yourself!" Tonks was ready, her Auror reflexes kicking in for emergency.
"It is I, Dumbledore, bringing Harry," the voice on the other side said. Tonks relaxed. Molly opened the door at once.
"Harry dear! Gracious, Albus, you gave me a fright, you said not to expect you before morning!" She was happy, Tonks could tell. She knew Molly couldn't wait to pour food down Harry's stomach.
"We were lucky," said Dumbledore, ushering Harry over the threshold. "Slughorn proved much more persuadable than I had expected. Harry's doing, of course. Ah, hello, Nymphadora!"
Of course he saw her. Dumbledore doesn't miss a thing. Now she felt Harry's eyes on her as well so she looked up
"Hello, Professor," she said, forcing a smile. "Wotcher, Harry."
"Hi, Tonks," Harry replied back. She could feel his eyes looking at her, determining whether she was okay. She didn't need to be interrogated by Dumbledore or Harry at the moment.
"I'd better be off," she said quickly, standing up and pulling her cloak around her shoulders. "Thanks for the tea and sympathy, Molly." Even though she didn't get to tell the real reason she came, it still count.
"Please don't leave on my account," said Dumbledore courteously, "I cannot stay, I have urgent matters to discuss with Rufus Scrimgeour."
"No, no, I need to get going," said Tonks, not meeting Dumbledore's eyes. No way was he finding out how she felt. "'Night—"
"Dear, why not come to dinner at the weekend, Remus and Mad-Eye are coming--?" She couldn't face Remus now. She hasn't seen him since the day at the Ministry.
"No, really, Molly . . . thanks anyway . . . Good night, everyone." Tonks hurried past Dumbledore and Harry into the yard, hoping they wouldn't stop her. A few paces beyond the doorstep, she turned on the spot and vanished into thin air. She thought to herself, when she got back to her parents' house, that she would tell Molly later, when it was her and Molly only.
