A/N: I don't own Sly Cooper and co. Sucker Punch does. I own the story. Sucker Punch doesn't. End of story. Now read puny mortal, lest I sic my rabid meerkats of Eternal Annihilation on you!!!111!!1!
On another note, I'd like to request that when ya review, remark on how in character the characters are. I'm just interested in knowing that stuff. Thanks. Freak out!
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London, England
1:30 AM
"Well, whatever that noise was, it's gone now."
"Naw mate, I'm tellin' you! Somethin's up there... I just can't see it..."
"... You do realize we've been issued flashlights, correct?"
"Oh, uh... right."
Sly Cooper, master thief and connoisseur of pizza toppings, thieving techniques, and video games, pressed himself into the shadows of the small niche between the drop off of the wall and the museum's skylight, watching the incriminating beam of light pass him by entirely. The two guards fifty feet below, glaring upwards into the hollow underbelly of the suspended whale skeleton, soon chalked up their criminally busy work schedule to the odd rattling from above and moved on with their route.
Sly sighed with relief and resolved to creep along the small ledge instead of traveling the creature's spinal cord as he had been doing. It made far too much noise. Very soon he had reached the small bridge that connected the second stories of the east and west wings. Crouching down low, cane in paw, he lifted his binocucom and peered down the long, two story hallway of the museum, looking into the fortified front lobby.
"Bentley, I'm in," he whispered. The blocky face and square glasses of his turtle friend flickered into view in the corner of the binocucom's HUD.
"Great work Sly, as per usual. The recon you took earlier was instrumental to me in finding that hole in the security!"
"Yes, I'd say the open window was fairly obvious as a hole..." said Sly with a sardonic grin. Bentley coughed in embarrassment, entirely aware such a simple solution was far below his talent. "Well, the shortest distance between two points..." Sly cut in suddenly. "Don't worry, pal, job's not over yet. There's sure to be at least one more computer for you to hack around here. What's the plan?"
"Well, now that you've already cleared sneaking through the basement to disable the laser beams in the west wing, breaking into the security office to change the guard schedules, helping Murray onto the roof to take down the electrified window frames so you could slip in, garnering the security code for the Pink Panther gem's laser defenses from the security chief, firing off the-"
"Check, check, check, Bentley. Now what's the actual heist?"
"Ah... ahem. Right. Just making sure we didn't miss any details. The robbery of the Pink Panther gem is a symbolic gesture as you know. I'd like to say we're doing this to deduct profits from the bad guys and put it in our pockets, but we haven't found them yet. We need this to go off perfectly if we want our mystery adversaries in the open. We know for certain the Pink Panther gem is their only objective, so stealing it ourselves will let them know we're not out of business yet! And don't touch anything else in there, Sly, I've double checked and it's all legit!"
"What a shame... I see quite a few things already that'd be perfect to touch up our place in Paris."
"Eyes on the prize, Sly. You know this is important. The changes I made in the guard schedules were minor so no suspicions were aroused, but you'll have to be quick. We'll have ten minutes at the most. On my mark, head into the west wing... now!"
Sly dashed forward with the natural agility of a thief, ducking under the archway that led to the recently added to west wing of the museum, keeping low and disturbing nothing more than the dust under his paws, as ordered. He allowed a smirk to drift onto his masked face. Ten minutes! That was more than plenty! He wished it would have been more like five. Bentley always worried too much. That turtle sometimes acted too patronizing, always fretting about this or that. Which was one of the reasons he was so darned loveable. Team dynamics always spiced up life, and if there was one thing Sly liked in his life above all else, it was spice.
"Hang a left here Sly!"
It had been three years since the defeat of Clockwerk, and the gang had just settled into living the high life. Following the defeat of that maniacal buzzard, Sly and company had gone on a flurry of world traveling odysseys, lining their pockets with the hard earned fat of various crime bosses (and even getting to toss a few in the slammer with the unknowing assistance of one Carmelita Fox). Bentley had objected to all this, of course, knowing the dangers of preying on the lesser criminals so soon after downing Clockwerk, but Sly had grown more than confident in their abilities. "The Murray" was always up for new challenges to swat with his impartial Thunder Flopping as well, so Bentley had no choice but to follow along.
However, the loss of direction usually associated with the accomplishment of such a quest left them all vulnerable to their own egos. It only took one small slip up in the field, one line of recon overlooked, and Sly was on the run, dodging bullets from unseen assailants. That was two weeks ago. The team was back on their toes now that they had a new goal to achieve, and it was time for payback for whoever it was that had tried to waste them back in Casablanca for illicitly acquiring a certain Maltese statuette (curiously shaped like a falcon) from the clutches of a certain crime ring.
"Six minutes Sly!" said Bentley.
"I see the door Bentley. Murray, you in place on the roof with the winch?"
The voice of the bombastic hippo blared into Sly's ears, making him wince.
"'The Murray' never fails his pals, pal! I'm in position for a swift and silent getaway!"
In the zone as always, that was Murray. Sly yanked open the door and stared across the tile floor into the moonlit room. It was a large, rectangular space, bare except for a few potted plants, odds and ends, and dead in the middle... the Pink Panther gem. Hadn't he seen this in a movie somewhere? It was enclosed in a glass case which could be easily cut through. Too easy. All he had to do was step forward and...
"Don't take another step!"
Sly might have mistaken the statement for Carmelita Fox, the gorgeous, obsessive police vixen who had been chasing after him for years (on a purely professional basis, of course), if it hadn't been Bentley who said it. He paused in mid stride and spoke into his receiver.
"What's up, Bentley?"
"Someone just turned the alarm systems back on! It'll be impossible to make a straight dash for the jewel now! The whole floor is criss crossed with trip lasers, and the casing's personal lasers are back up as well!"
"Perfect."
"You sound as though you're suddenly uplifted."
"I am! A couple of snags now and then are perfect for moonlit thefts like this. What now?"
"The roof, Sly! Head for the roof and use the winch to drop down onto the casing!"
Three minutes later, Sly was dropping in spread-eagle through the skylight of the room, a thin but strong cord tied around his waist, Murray carefully gauging how far down the raccoon had gone. Sly smirked as he whipped out a small, rectangular computer, his other paw occupied with retaining his cane.
"You sure you made this up all by yourself, Bentley?"
"Now's not the time for sarcasm, Sly, you only have two minutes to allow me to hack the system, remotely disable the security once again, and get out of there before the guards end their patrol in that very room!"
Sly carefully attached the hand held PC onto the casing. Sly typed in a few commands to start the hacking program, careful not to let his sweat touch the apparently pressure sensitive floor. The screen lit up and began flashing figures and numbers incomprehensible to the thieving ringtail as Bentley wormed his way into the wiring.
"Done! Now get the jewel and get out of there!"
Sly reached into one of his many pockets and pulled out his newfangled glass cutter. After attaching it to the case and allowing it to do its magic, Sly pulled the gem from off its pillow rest with a fashionable "Yoink!" and fitted it firmly to a satchel on his chest. Before signaling Murray, Sly whipped out his traditional calling card and left it in place of the gem. Pulling all the gear back into his be-pocketed suit, he gave the thumbs up to Murray, who hoisted him up to freedom. Dashing back over the rooftops, Sly and Murray jumped into the van where Bentley was waiting and sped off into the night, all of them patting each other on the back for showing up the bad guys once again. The gem would be returned later, of course, since it was truly a priceless artifact they didn't dare sell to the black market rings. The mission was a success, and now all they had to do was wait it out for the traditional un-named threat caller and track any traffic on the thieving rings.
Too bad the response would involve really big guns instead.
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A/N: So! How was it? I know it's vague and dumb and... not as good as some other fics on here, I'm sure, but it's my first! Cut me slack! Please? I'll shine your shoes in return if you tell me where you live!
