Disclaimer: I own nothing.
– – –
Giggling filled the living room as Daryl spun the child. He was on baby duty for the next hour while Carol and Sophia were grocery shopping. He could have gone with them or instead of them, but he didn't want to. Sophia was staying with them for the weekend, as Mother's day was on Sunday, and she and Iris had "big plans". He didn't know what they were. He wasn't trusted to be in on the plan, but he would likely be here in the same position on that day. He hoped they did something equally awesome for Father's Day. All he got last year were cards, new carving tools and take out to dinner. It was completely half-assed. He loved it, but he hoped for cards that weren't signed both by Iris for Iris and Sophia. And he hoped the wrapping paper wasn't old Christmas paper. Unwrapping Santa on Father's Day was weird, even for him.
"I hope she throws up on you," Merle commented from the floor. He was fixing the sliding door since Daryl had his hands full, and Honey kept trying to take his tools and lick him to death. She was fond of Merle. It was likely the scent of meat.
"Shut up." Daryl lowered his granddaughter and held her. "Don't tell people to shut up, okay, Celia? It's okay to say it to Merle, though."
Merle glared.
Celia pointed to him. "Shut up."
Daryl smirked. "Your mom's gonna kill me."
"Not if I get there first," Merle pointed a screw driver at him. "Speakin' of, where is Iris? She ain't out with Carol and Sophia."
"She stayed up all night to finish a paper, and she's out cold in Sophia's old room. She tried to stay awake, but when she started to give Celia a bowl of dog treats, I stepped in." He put the box in the cabinet with the cereal by accident. He was trying to unpack and keep an eye on the little one. He could multitask on a lot of things, but not with a child around. Not since what happened the last time he took his eyes off his kid.
"Why ain't she at home? Her first home, I mean."
"Andrea and Shane are still on their anniversary vacation thing, accordin' to Carol, and Iris lost her key. They'll be back by tonight." He set Celia down. "Make sure she don't go outside."
"'Cause it ain't like I'm blocking the damn doorway," Merle grumbled.
"What did we talk about this mornin'?" Daryl glared.
"She didn't hear me! She's tryin' to grab the dog's tail."
"Don't. You know how it upsets Iris."
"Sorry, won't happen again." He rolled his eyes at his brother and returned to work. "Make some more coffee, will you? I'm only gettin' grouchier."
"Gimme a second. I gotta use the bathroom."
Merle narrowed his eyes when he lost sight of Celia, but he heard her giggling, so he knew Honey probably attacked her with kisses. He shook his head and whistled, Honey came running, and he pushed her out the door. Celia tried to follow, but he turned her around and around until she got dizzy and fell. When she stood back up, her attention was drawn to something else. The sound of a car pulling up caught Honey's attention, Merle was trampled as the old girl bolted to the front door, and Carol and Sophia entered. Sophia made two trips while Carol kept Honey and Celia from wandering out the door. They began to unload the groceries, Carol tossed two candy bars at Merle as his requested reward for lending a hand, and she told him dinner was at seven. His other request.
He thanked her and bit into the chocolate bar, finishing the door that he'd been working on for three hours. He'd been done hours ago, but if he had let Daryl know, he'd have asked him to do something else. Carol wasn't here to negotiate, and they couldn't duke it out with responsibilities wandering/snoozing around. He would have gotten on Carol's bad side, and he didn't want that. She was a better cook than him, and he'd grown sick of his usual dinner. He invited himself over for dinner tonight, and Carol invited him over as a thank you for helping them, ignoring the fact that he'd already rudely invited himself. He'd barged in and everything. His reputation as a hell-raiser was ruined. He wanted to go back before Celia and her glitter. He knew there would be more glitter for Mother's Day, and he would be here, and there would be glitter everywhere. God, he was a decent uncle and a trusted babysitter. There was no coming back. He tried, and he always wound up failing. Damn Carol's kindness.
"I'm making breakfast tomorrow," Sophia plopped down on the couch, "so you can sleep in."
"Sophia, you don't have to do that."
"Yes, I do. It's Mother's Day weekend, and I am making pancakes and eggs and bacon. On Sunday, I'm making waffles with fresh fruit and oatmeal."
"I'll come by tomorrow, but not Sunday." Merle gagged on the thought of oatmeal.
Sophia laughed. "Okay, Uncle Merle, I'll make you a plate too."
He threw his hands up.
Carol giggled and covered her mouth with her hand. "Thank you, sweetie."
"I'm gonna go check on Iris." She hopped up. "And talk about your gift, so stay down here. Watch the little walker here."
Carol looked down at her granddaughter and bent down. "I'd go with roamer 'cause you're a nosy little thing." She picked her up. "So, what happened with Grandpa?"
"I got to fly," she replied. "And we watched Doc McStuffins, and we had ice cream."
"Hey, hey, hey," Daryl rejoined them. "You weren't supposed to mention that!"
"Ooh, she wasn't?" Carol arched a brow. "Honesty is the best policy."
"Tssh, bunch of lies," Merle told the four-year-old.
"You're both terrible role models." Carol shook her head and approached her husband. "You should change that, Mr. Dixon."
"Why's that?"
She pointed to the bassinet in the corner of the room where the blue-eyed, pale-skinned, five month old infant rested. He slept like a horse, so they didn't have to worry about waking him with conversation, very like his father. Merle joked throughout the entire pregnancy the boy was going to come out with a goatee and his arms crossed. That, and that it was a hoax. He didn't believe, because at first the ultrasound tec misread and thought it was a girl. He told Daryl "You had one job!". He then smacked him in the back of the head. It wasn't until the next appointment when they had a different tec, and she confirmed it was a boy. He mumbled an apology to Daryl, but was still somewhat wary.
He changed when she began to show, and he started to go out of his way to ensure she and the unborn baby were taken care of. He was very thoughtful. He believed that his kindness ruined his asshole reputation, and it did, but in the best way. Merle stepped up—again—for a child that wasn't his, and with both Daryl and Merle on her case to rest and nourish herself and to not overdo it, it was the most annoying nine months of her life. Well, nine and a half. He was a couple weeks late, which worried Daryl, but he made his arrival, he didn't make them wait.
Daryl sucked air through his teeth. "I got a couple months till he understands me."
"He understands you now," she corrected. "So don't bribe your granddaughter."
"It wasn't a bribe! It was an after lunch snack. She barely had a bowl."
"Uh-huh." She was smiling. "Go make your son's lunch. It's about that time. You know how fussy he gets."
"He should," Merle commented. "Boy got it from Daryl."
Daryl held his tongue. "You fix our door yet?"
"Two hours ago."
"Figured." He tugged on Celia's foot, kissed Carol's temple and headed to the kitchen.
"Mommy." Celia leaned for Iris when she and Sophia padded down the stairs.
Iris smiled and took her daughter from Carol. "Thank you for babysitting. I needed that nap." She checked her watch. "I should gather my stuff."
"Stay for dinner," Carol suggested. "I don't mind. I like having you girls home."
"Yeah, for changing diapers and trying to get our little brother to sleep," Sophia teased.
"I miss having you all over for dinner. We had Christmas dinner, but it's been months. Stay, please."
"Well, I do love free food." Iris pursed her lips. "As long as Uncle Merle doesn't make any crude comments in front of the babies, yeah."
"What crude comments have I made before?" he demanded.
"I won't repeat them." She picked up the remote. "I'm gonna turn on the TV for the kids. Do you guys mind?"
"I mind," Daryl called from the kitchen. "My entire life has become Doc McStuffins. Please, don't turn it on. I can't take it again."
"It's her favorite. I can't choice what she likes." She smiled sweetly. "Please?"
"Take it upstairs," he nodded his chin toward the stairs. "Sophia's got a TV in her room, and most of Celia's toys are up there anyway. Besides you have a test on Monday."
"Ugh, you told him." Iris groaned at her sister.
"It slipped out." Sophia smiled apologetically. "I'll help you study."
"Okay." She turned to Carol. "By the way, let me know where you bought that space jumper for Riley. It's so cute."
"Why do you wanna know about a boy's jumper?" Merle narrowed his eyes. "You ain't expectin' another one, are you?"
"No." She glared. "But my teacher is. A little boy, and it's perfect for her."
"It only took five years for Iris to like her teachers," Sophia mused.
"Yep." She turned to Carol. "Just let me know by next week, okay?"
She nodded. "Sure."
They walked upstairs to Sophia's room to study and entertain Celia, Daryl proceeded with caution with waking his son, and Merle strolled downstairs to help himself to Daryl's carving tools. He'd been working on a gift for the kid's first birthday, and he was bored, so he decided to work on it now. Carol observed with a smile as her husband fed their son, and she wrapped her arms around herself, thinking over the last few months.
It wasn't until after their honeymoon that Carol was one hundred perfect positive she was pregnant. She assumed she was, because she felt the same when she was pregnant with Sophia. She just knew, and she tried to buy a test before the wedding, but the girls and their plans intervened. She planned a doctor's appointment, but Jessie invited her to lunch to catch up, and she forgot. She rescheduled the appointment, and Andrea picked her up to ensure she went. They got the results the next day. She was. Andrea was excited and congratulated her and offered to help her out anyway she could, and Shane did too. He'd been hiding in the pantry. He says he wasn't hiding, simply looking for his lunch bag, but he was hiding. He dropped the jar of peanut butter, and that's how they found him. He just gave her a hug and went back to "looking for his lunch bag".
She planned on telling Daryl next, but he was busy with work, so she went to Maggie. Maggie went to Hershel, and Beth overheard, and pretty much everyone found out after that. Sophia called her an hour later and asked if it was true, and Iris dropped by to confirm it. By the time Daryl got home, Carol had the perfect apology. However, after he lost his narrow eyes and paleness, he laughed and hugged her. He kept asking if she was sure, and she would have smacked him if she wasn't smiling so hard. He took time off near the end of her pregnancy to take care of her and to clear out the guest bedroom to make it into a nursery. Merle had built a shed for all of the junk they had no place to store it. He may have taken some of their junk, but she didn't care. Better him than to rot with the other stuff. Whatever it was.
She'd considered having a yard sale, but she didn't know what was all in there, and she didn't want to sift through it. She didn't have the time with work and the girls and the baby and her husband. She loved all of them and didn't mind giving them her time. Moreover she didn't want to spend her day off in a musty shed. She could try and bribe Carl and Patrick into sifting through all of it. They were free this summer, and Carl was handy. Patrick would just throw things away. He'd probably break something or sprain a wrist or ankle. She didn't want to feel guilty for his next injury. Iris would never let her hear the end of it either.
"What are you thinkin' about?" Daryl studied her face. "Mother's Day?"
"No. The crap in the shed."
"I can go through it this weekend. I mean, Merle's mostly in charge right now, and I got time."
"No, I'll ask Carl and Patrick. I'll pay them for it." She smiled. "Besides you have to watch the kids."
He pursed his lips. "Why do I have babysit?"
"Because Iris and Sophia are planning a Mother's Day surprise for me and Andrea, and Shane has his mother to consider. You're the only one without parents, and you and Merle agreed. You can take one kid, and he can take the other, if you want. It's not babysitting if it's your own child."
"I know."
"Don't worry. I'll make it up to you." She set her hands on his shoulders and kissed his cheek. "On Father's Day."
"You'd better."
"Oh? I'd better?"
"You know Celia's gonna make a card for Iris, and it's gonna be buckets and buckets of glitter." He hated glitter. It was hard as hell to get off and it went everywhere. He was grateful that Andrea tended to have Celia when she wanted to play with glitter. Sadly, it wouldn't work out like that this time. She would be off doing whatever the girls had planned for her, and he would be here with the card maker. He needed to drag Merle into his, because he was not going in alone with pink and silver and green glitter. He loved his granddaughter, but there was no fucking way. He was still trying to get all of the gold glitter from her last arts and crafts piece out of his beard.
––
"What's the plan?" Iris dug out her notes and crossed her legs on the mattress. "I mean I know the plan, but I just want to make sure I don't screw it up. I haven't been sleeping regularly lately."
Sophia was on the floor with Celia. "We'll make our moms their favorite breakfast then we'll drop them off at the first location and come back to Andrea's. She has the biggest dining room."
"Yeah, we couldn't fit Patrick and Merle in at the table here last Thanksgiving." Patrick had to sit on the floor in the corner, and Uncle Merle dragged the armchair to the doorway and ate there. He propped his feet on the door frame and made it impossible to get through. So we agreed then that Thanksgiving would be hosted at Mom's, but Carol would cook every other Thanksgiving. Iris and Sophia planned to help out. They'd have to learn for their own families one day, and it was nice to hang out in the kitchen with Mom and Mom.
"Speaking of, Patrick is going to pick up dinner, so don't forgot to give him your house key."
"I already did." She had told her parents she'd lost it, but it was all for the surprise.
"Okay. I already have the order placed for the dessert, so I'll pick it up while you and Patrick start dinner. I'll swing by and get the flowers too. Did you wrap everything?"
"Yes, Sophia. I wrapped everything, and Mom won't find it. Dad—my dad, er, Shane Dad?" Her eyes narrowed in confusion at what to call him to differentiate Daryl from Shane then shook her head. "You know who I meant, and he's taken care of it." She opened her folder. "He got Mom some gift he won't tell me, but that's fine. I can snoop when they come home tonight."
Sophia smirked. "Leave it alone."
"Why wouldn't he tell me? I've kept this a secret for a month."
"It might be a surprise for you too. Have you ever thought about that?"
"No. Why would he involve me? I'm not a mother." Her eyes fell to Celia. "Not one he has to give a gift too. You know what I meant!"
"You're his daughter now, Iris. You guys are a family, so it could be for Andrea and it affects all of you."
"I hadn't thought about that."
"Well, start. You have a whole Saturday to contemplate what "Shane-Dad" got you."
"I'll call him Shane or father or something." Her cheeks were pink. "Jerk."
Sophia laughed. "Get to studying. The Doc is callin'."
Iris rolled her eyes and focused on her notes. She was excited about this Mother's Day. It was the first one they'll be having as a family. Legally a family. Mom was now Andrea Harrison-Walsh, (step)Mom was Carol Dixon, and Sophia and Iris had a half-brother. She had so much family, so much support, and she wanted to return even a chunk of that to her moms. Dad and Shane helped too, but there were certain things only Mom and Carol could teach her, and she wanted to thank them for it without using words. She was so excited for Sunday.
Sophia peered down at her niece and watched her for a moment. Celia was enthralled by the cartoon displayed before her, and Sophia brushed her fingers through her soft brown locks. Her hair had been braided, but Dad must have undone it. Or Merle. Or even Honey. Honey liked ribbons, and she could have undone it when she did her tackle and lick thing. Iris must have been too tired to tighten it, so it was likely Honey. Sophia had to check her doghouse tonight. She had most of the socks, makeup brushes, ribbons hidden in there like it was magical place only she could enter. They cleaned it out all the time, but she still hid them in there. It was good news for them, but she had to wonder what Honey thought happened to her stolen goods
She smiled at the cute giggles Celia made. She loved the crap out of this little girl, and if she could, she'd smuggle her out of the country and raise her as her own. She wouldn't, but she could if she wanted to. She babysat a lot. Sophia rested her chin on her knuckles and exhaled. She was an aunt, an older sister and a younger sister. Or, you know, the middle child. She had a father and mother, a job, an apartment, a boyfriend. She was pursuing her dream. God, it was so weird. An entirely good weird, but still weird. She was grateful that God had placed these people in her life. She couldn't imagine a day without them.
– – –
"Do you want to paint your room?" Andrea handed her a glass of iced tea. "Shane and I want to redo some of the rooms, brighten them, and your room could use some brightening up."
"Yeah, I'd love to paint it." She rocked the porch swing that Shane had built with Daryl as a gift for Andrea on her birthday. "I also need some cash. Could we do a yard sale? I have a lot of jewelry I don't wear, and that dresser I don't use, because it's an antique, and I don't want to ruin it."
"Sure, we can have a yard sale." She ran a hand through her hair. "We'll probably have a bunch of stuff we don't need or use anymore. Wait, why do you need money?"
"Just to be prepared." She drank from her cup. "You can never have too much money."
"Iris, what's going on?"
"Nothing's going on. I just want to be prepared. I meant that." She shrugged a shoulder. "Don't worry about it, okay? There's seriously nothing to worry about."
"All right." Her mouth said fine, but her eyes were questioning.
"How was your trip?"
"It was lovely. I'd forgotten how it felt to not have kids to worry about." Her eyes had softened, and she smiled. "We took some pictures. Do you want to get them developed with me tomorrow?"
"Why not now?"
"I just want to be home a minute. I had a great time, but I missed you."
"I'm right here, Mom."
"For now, but soon you'll move out and be on your own. I won't see you and Celia unless it's on holidays or birthday, or if you need a babysitter. It's depressing to think about, and being away was nice, but it made me realize that in a couple of months or a year, it'll be like that all time. Just here."
"Mom, I'd visit all the time. I am a crappy cook, and Patrick has a million things he does, so he won't cook for me. Sophia can only make two things, and I'm not a fan of her chili."
She sighed, and it was a sad sound. "You're twenty-one." She couldn't believe that. Her little girl was grown up and had a four-year-old. She was in college. She still lived at home, but only because she couldn't afford to take care of both Celia, college fees and bills at the same time. When she graduated, it would be a different story. How close to graduating was she?
Iris pressed her lips together. "Are you okay, Mom?"
"Yeah." She blinked hard. "I'm sad, but I'm okay. I'm proud of you."
Iris set her glass on the ground and scooted closer to lean against her mom. "Me too, Mom."
Andrea wrapped her arm around her daughter and kissed the top of her head, Iris closed her eyes, and they didn't say anything else. It was a nice day, and they just listened to the bugs and the cars passing, gently swaying back and forth on the swing.
––
"So, how's school going?" Carol filled the drawers in Riley's room with clean clothes.
"It's good. I'm passing with Bs, and Enid helps me study. She's an awesome roommate."
"I don't doubt it. You should bring her by for dinner. Those frozen dinners don't have to be the only thing you consume."
"Okay, Mom." She rolled her eyes, but smirked. "I'll tell her."
"I have some of your laundry too. It's on your bed."
"Thanks, but you don't have to do my laundry."
"No, I don't have to. I just wanted to. It's either that, or you spent how much at the laundry mat?"
"Well, it's my money to spend. Besides, I've crammed a lot while washing at a laundry mat." She held her brother closer. "How are you guys? You seem...elated. Like if you were balloons, you'd have floated into the sun already."
"We're doing well. He's been busy these last couple of weeks, and I've had to leave Riley with Maggie or Patricia when one of my girls has meltdown, which has been a lot lately—but we manage."
"If you need me to babysit, my professors don't mind bringing your kids to class. I mean, it's not a celebrated thing, but the ones I have in the morning know that education is vital. If bringing our kids in because we couldn't find a babysitter is what we have to do to educate ourselves then okay."
"I'll be fine. Maggie needs the training anyway."
Sophia gasped. "Maggie's pregnant?"
"Yes. About two months."
"Why didn't you tell me? I saw her yesterday, and I didn't say anything! I should have congratulated her and Glenn. God, they were buying freaking vitamins too. I don't notice anything!"
Carol laughed. "Calm down. You're going to stress him out."
"Sorry." She sighed. "I'll call her tomorrow."
"She'll be busy. She, Beth, Hershel and Shawn are planning a surprise for Annette, so try on Monday."
She nodded. "I'll bring some flowers." There will be plenty here, and taking a few from each vase shouldn't be too noticeable. Ooh, she would take her some dessert too. Wait, is that the puke stage? Or the eat everything stage? Or both? She might want to just to start with the flowers. Go from there.
"Do you want to read to him? Put him to bed?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. I'm going to bring Honey in, if Daryl hasn't already." She squeezed her daughter's arm on her way and checked on Honey and Daryl. He had already brought her in, and she was out cold on her bed by Riley's bassinet. They moved her out of the back room and out here shortly after Riley was born. She dug at the door all night the first week, so they let her out and she went right to his room to sleep beside him. They managed to train her to stay downstairs, but sometimes they found her by his crib. She was a protective old girl, that was for sure.
"Sophia's putting Riley to bed." Carol wrapped her arms around her husband who was having a glass of water in the kitchen.
He nodded. "You tired?"
"A little. It's been a long day."
"Well, you got tomorrow to rest."
"I wouldn't consider it rest. I have errands to run."
"Guess I'll make dinner then," he commented, "run those errands."
"You're going to run my errands?" she teased.
"Sure, why not?" He turned so that he was facing her, and she peered up at him. "What are they?"
"Well, I have to pay the electric bill, send out invitations for Beth's graduation party, talk to Hershel about that party, and then I have to call Karen to see if she's coming down next weekend or once the kids are out for summer vacation."
"A lot of talkin'," he noted.
"Yeah, a lot of talking."
"You can talk to Hershel and Karen. I'll take the rest."
"How generous of you." He encircled her shoulders with his arms, leaned down and kissed her. She smiled against his lips then pulled back and added to the list of errands, "I need to ask Merle if I can borrow his RV too."
"Why?"
"Sophia's birthday. I want to take a trip with her before she's out of college and rarely has time for us."
"Carol, she ain't gonna vanish when she graduates."
"I'd still like us to take a trip. It'd be fun."
"Wait, us?"
"Yes, the four of us. Plus Honey, because we can't leave her behind again. Axel couldn't even cheer her up. She was pouting and dug a hole in our mattress."
"Here we go," he mumbled.
"I told you we should have the baby shower here, not at Karen's."
"She's the one who threw it! We didn't have a say."
"True, but we can't afford a new mattress, and I don't want her to be locked outside the entire time."
"Fine, fine. I'll talk to Merle. He don't got many plans these days."
"I don't think that's true. I think he has a girlfriend. Or, at least, is sleeping with someone."
"How do you know?"
"I took Riley over so Merle could babysit, and Merle wouldn't let me use the bathroom. He made me use dish washing liquid to wash my hands."
"He actually had dish washing soap?"
"It was cherry blossom scented."
"Wonder why he didn't tell me."
"Knowing him, he didn't want to jinx it. By telling you, it becomes real. He already let her put soap in his house. Lord knows what she did to his bathroom."
"I'm gonna have a word with him tomorrow." He started to walk, Carol nearly lost her balance, but he held his grip on her, and she stumbled backwards. "Till then I got plans."
"Plans?" Her eyes narrowed to slits. "What plans?"
"The girls and our son got you on Sunday, but tonight and Saturday, I got you." He pulled her flush against him and kissed her deeply.
"And if I have plans?" she mused when he pulled back.
"Consider 'em canceled."
– – –
Carol woke up alone, the smell of breakfast food drifting through the house, and she could hear the TV was on. Sophia had taken care of Riley for the morning, so Carol could sleep in. She smiled and spotted a note that Daryl had left her, telling her that she only had to call Karen. He liked Karen, but when she became his sister-in-law, she became more of a mother-in-law. Carol thought it was funny, but Daryl didn't. He avoided her calls most of the time. Karen was only joking with him the first couple of times, and he didn't speak with her much since the last time, so he didn't know that. They really needed to tell him that.
She showered and dressed, finding Sophia had made the breakfast she promised to, and Merle was working on what appeared to be his second plate. That, or he filled his plate with syrup first. Sophia was smacking him away from the stack of fresh blueberry pancakes, and he went for the plain ones, stealing one blueberry when she greeted her mom.
"I made your favorite."
"Thank you. It smells wonderful in here." She poured herself a cup of coffee. "Has your brother eaten?"
"Yes. I fed him first. He's watching whatever cartoons they play on weekend mornings."
"Annoyin' ones," Merle answered. "I've the heard the same theme song five times. Shit's makin' my eye twitch."
"Then why don't you go home?" Sophia added some of everything she'd cooked to her mom's plate and her own and sat down.
"'Cause home don't have good pancakes like this." He waved the one he was working on in the air before eating it.
"Thank you." She poured syrup over her pancakes. "It's nice to have people to eat breakfast with. Enid doesn't eat breakfast. It upsets her stomach."
"I love having company at the table too." Carol smoothed butter over the warm pancakes.
Merle tapped his nails on the table then blurted, "I needa talk to y'all about somethin'."
"What's up?" Sophia shoveled in a forkful of pancakes, starving. She'd been nibbling on bacon and bits of pancake, but she'd been trying to make sure all the food was warm. Her nibs weren't enough, and she didn't care that she'd just spilled syrup and butter on her sweatpants. They'd seen worst shoveling, like when Uncle Merle shove an entire taco in his mouth and ended up with sour cream and salsa down his chin.
"I know Carol knows."
Carol swallowed. "About what?"
"The woman I've been seein'."
"You have a girlfriend?" Sophia exclaimed, mouth full.
"Sophia," Carol chastised, and Sophia gestured a sorry. "And yeah, I figured it out when you had soap in your house."
"Soap? Like actual soap?" Sophia's eyes widened. "So, it's serious? How serious?"
Merle rolled his eyes. "Calm down. We ain't that serious. Just a couple of dinners."
"Has she...spent the night?" Sophia tried not to laugh at his expression. "What? I'm twenty. I know about these things. I do have a boyfriend."
"I—I don't want to have that conversation," Carol pleaded. "Not ever."
Merle nodded.
"Fine. Let's focus on Merle and...? What's her name?"
"Francine."
"I know her." Sophia was smiling. "She's a self-dense teacher. She offered a free course to the girls at my college. She's really tough. She folded Rick like a box. It was awesome."
"Someone who can hand Merleh is ass? I like her already." Carol smirked around her cup of coffee.
"Ha ha." He glowered. "Shut the hell up."
"What do you want to know?" Sophia inquired. "Advice? Or something?"
"Sorta." He was hesitant. "She's...got a kid. She wants me to meet him."
"That's a big step." Carol's brows rose. "How long have you been seeing her?"
"Since before you were pregnant. I met her when I went to take Sophia to lunch. She thought I was campus security."
"You do stand like them," Sophia stated. "And with all the black and sunglasses. You just need the jacket."
"Are you nervous to meet him?" Carol turned the conversation focus back to the child.
"I ain't the dad type, not like Daryl. I don't think it's a good idea."
"Not the dad type?" Carol scoffed. "Merle, you were there for me every step of my pregnancy. For the love of God, you drove me to the hospital and held my hand and comforted me until Daryl got there. You came over and made me grilled chicken and hamburgers at two in the morning on two different occasions, and you didn't make me feel ridiculous. Not to mention all you've done for Celia."
"You did that?" Sophia smiled at him like he was a small animal. "Uncle Merle, that's so sweet!"
"Thought we were gonna keep that between us," he grumbled at Carol.
"You are the dad type. You're a good influence too. Otherwise Celia and Riley wouldn't be allowed around you, and Francine wouldn't have asked you to meet her son. You're a better man than you give yourself credit for."
He hid his smile, though it reflected in his eyes. "Sure, thanks."
"You'll be fine, just hold back on the cussing."
He nodded. "All right." He reached over and stole a fatty piece of bacon off her plate. "I appreciate it."
––
"Dad." Iris plopped down on the couch in her parents' room as Shane buttoned up his work shirt. "So, I have a question for you." One that didn't involve asking him for money. She thought they had saved enough, but sadly no. They had to resort to their fathers, so they knew the plan now. She felt bad, but it was a gift from the entire family now.
"What is it?" He glanced at her in the mirror. "Need me to pick Celia up from daycare? Rick and I can swing by."
"Yes, but that's not the question."
"Shoot." He sat beside her to put on his shoes. "You okay?"
"Yeah. I was just wondering if you let it slip that Patrick and I are buying an apartment." She lowered her voice so Mom couldn't hear if she walked by. "Mom's been acting strange lately. Overly emotional."
"I didn't tell her." He met her eyes. "I told you I wouldn't."
"Then why does she keep acting like I'm moving to Mars?"
"Iris, you're an adult. You don't need her for much of anythin'. She knows you're gonna move out one day, and it's upsettin' her. You're a baby girl. What else did you expect?"
"I just...feel bad. Like I should stay or something."
"It'll pass. Trust me."
She nodded. "We're having a yard sale, so I'm hoping I can get some money for house items like plates and food and stuff. I can't work anymore than I already am, and Patrick has his hands full already."
"I can give you some money, you know."
"No, you can't. I want to do this on my own. I'm an adult, remember? Adults pay for things on their own, unless they can't and take out a loan."
He chuckled. "Just lemme know what I can do. Need a toaster or somethin'? As a housewarmin' gift, of course."
"I'll let you know."
"What's with the whispering?" Andrea hovered in the doorway.
"Dad was just helping me with something. It's a surprise, so don't bug him about him." She hopped off the couch. "I have a thing, so I'll see you guys tonight for dinner. Bye."
Andrea watched her leave then turned to her husband. "What was that?"
"A surprise. It's for Mother's Day, so don't push."
"Mother's Day, or moving day?"
"Andrea, she's gotta leave sometime, and you're only gonna make her feel bad. Just...focus on paintin' the house. Do you know what color you want for the guest bedroom?"
"It's Celia's room. I'm gonna let Iris decide."
"Really? I thought... Never mind." He rose off the couch and placed a kiss to her lips. "I'll see you tonight. Pick a paint I can hate for the living room."
She smiled. "You can count on it."
– – –
Iris showed Sophia the apartment Shane and she had found. It took them weeks to find a place within their price range. Patrick could only tag along for a few, because he had his job and college, but no longer. They had found the perfect place. It had enough space for them and their daughter, and it was close to their college and his work. She had to leave a bit early, but that's why God made coffee. Plus they were also allowed pets, so if they wanted one they could get one. Iris thought it was cute, and Patrick liked the kitchen. He said it was a good kitchen. Whatever that meant.
"It's perfect." Sophia jumped up on the counter. "Your neighbors are really nice."
"I bet they are, neighbor." She smiled at her sister. "Are you bringing us a gift?"
"I am your gift."
"Wow, can I replace you for plates?"
"I'm worth more than any plate."
"I can't eat food off of you, nor can I easily wash you and fit you in my cabinet, so buy me plates. Just ten, please."
"Fine. I'll buy you plate. Plastic plates."
"I hope you're joking."
"I'm not."
"I'm going to come over and steal your plates. Enid will let me in when you're not home."
Sophia stuck her tongue out and slid off the counter. "Okay, ten plates." She faced her. "So, you're moving out."
"And in with Patrick." She sucked air in through her teeth. "I'm nervous. It's a big step in our relationship."
"You've dated for how many years now? I know high school sweetheart stories don't always work out, but you guys might. Don't be nervous." She grinned encouragingly. "Okay?"
She groaned. "I'll try."
"Has Celia seen it yet?"
"God, no. She'd spill the beans to Mom." Sophia giggled. "She's the worst! She told Patrick what I got him for Christmas and his birthday. She can't properly pronounce the words, but he figured it out. I have to shop in secret now."
"Well, I'm sure she'll love it."
"Me too. She adjusts quickly, and we'll visit as often as we can. She won't have time to miss her grandparents." She pointed to Sophia, "And with you next door, she'll have a babysitter anytime you're home."
"Hey, I have a life too."
"Let's hope the walls are thick enough that I can't hear that life."
"Wanna go find out?"
"Sure."
– – –
Carol greeted Axel for lunch with a tight embrace, and they took their seats. He'd been working so much lately, and they hadn't had time talk. He had to work when she and Daryl were married, but the girls brought him cake. Or so they were told. She hoped they did.
"You look good." He glanced over the menu. "I feel like I haven't seen you in years."
"It's been too long." She met his eyes. "How have you been?"
"Good. I'm not at the shelter much these days, but I might come back sometime next week for a bit."
"That's good. I heard some of the kids miss you. You'll always be that goofy uncle to them."
He smiled at that. "Speaking of kids, how are yours?"
"They're good. Iris has matured a lot these past few years, and she's an incredible mother. She and Sophia both are doing well in college. Sophia's back home for Mother's Day, and she's spoiling me already. I'm glad to have her home. Riley's missed her." She gave him a picture of Riley and Sophia from this morning. She didn't tell Daryl about the photos and having them developed. She wanted to do it. "I have three, so you can keep that one."
"Thank you. They look like you."
"Everyone says Riley looks like Daryl."
"A bit. Well, a lot." She laughed. "Just...got some bits of you in there too."
"Yeah, but it's mostly Daryl." She stirred her drink with the straw. "I didn't expect you to invite me out to lunch. Is everything all right?"
"Yeah, it's good. It's real good." He had a light in his eyes, despite looking fatigued. "Holly and I actually just bought a house."
"Wow. That is good."
"Yeah, but...it's outta state. It's close to her parents. They're...gettin' older, and she wants to be closer to 'em. And her brother-in-law's offered me a job down there. The pay's good, and it has benefits."
She swallowed. "You're moving? Out of Georgia?"
"Yeah, next month. We're tryin' get things...tied up here." He searched her eyes. "I promised Mag I'd finish a few jobs next week. I have some time, and I don't want to leave them unfinished."
She nodded. "I understand. I'm gonna miss you."
"Not as much as you think. You got Sophia and Riley, your job and husband. You got plenty of people in your life who love you, and you'll hardly notice I'm gone."
"Axel, I'll know you're gone." She set her hand over his. "I do have a busy life, but I won't forget you. I'll e-mail you when I have time to see how you've settled."
"I didn't mean it like that. Just mean I ain't really around much these days anyway."
"Well, you have to let us throw you a going away party. Maggie and the kids would love to. I'm sure even some of the mothers."
"Maybe. I ain't one for goodbyes."
"How about we give you a cupcake and a hug?" He chuckled. "I'll even add a card we'll all sign."
"That sounds better."
"Okay." She squeezed his head. "So, what do you want for lunch? It's my treat."
"I invited you—"
"It's my treat, Axel."
He nodded. "I'm glad I got to see you today."
"Me too."
– – –
It was Mother's Day. Iris and Sophia had made their mother's favorite breakfasts then began their day. They were going to meet at eleven, and that left the men to watch the kids. Shane's aunt had taken his mom out, so he was left at home. He invited over Daryl so he was alone with the babies, and Shane also needed a hand preparing for the girls' when they came back. Merle had invited himself, and Patrick was already at the store buying dinner.
"I'm gonna get the extra chairs and lengthen the table," Shane told Daryl and Merle. "It shouldn't take too long. I just gotta find it. Andrea and Iris filled the basement with items for the yard sale yesterday."
"Take your time." Daryl was on the couch with Riley on his chest.
"Celia's makin' her mom a card," Shane told Merle. "Just keep an eye on her."
Daryl lifted Riley up in the air and held back laughs at the fate Merle was walking into. He made faces to see if he could get any reaction from his son. He'd seen Carol doing it when she thought she was alone, and he was curious if he could do the same. She'd gotten him to giggle, and he rarely heard the sound. He could make Iris laugh when she was a baby, but this kid was a tough crowd.
Merle found Celia at her table with glue, stickers, glitter pens and glitter littering it, and he sighed, knowing he wasn't going to walk away clean. He sat beside her and offered her a hand, and she huffed.
"What, Celia?"
"Princess Celia," she corrected. "And I can't make hearts right."
"Princess? My apologies."
"It's okay."
"So, the Princess has trouble with hearts?"
She nodded. "I wanna put a heart in Mommy's card."
"Oh. Well, I'm not so good at cuttin' hearts, but I know somethin' we can make for her."
"What?" She gazed at him.
"Well, first of all I'm gonna do most of the cuttin' work, but you can add as many stickers and as much glitter as you want."
"I can?" Her eyes lit up. "Okay. Let's do it."
"I'll get to work on my project, and you sit here till I get back, all right?" She nodded. "I mean it. Right here."
"I know. I heard you. I do listen."
"The first reply was enough." He poked her forehead enough to bend her head back, and she smirked at him. "Gimme five minutes. Best pick out your favorite stickers."
He strolled out to the truck and found the spare chucks of wood in the back and his tool kit. He would carve a little heart dish for Iris. She could put rings on it, or use it for smaller candles. He would leave the decorations to Celia. He'd have the kid write her mom's name in marker, and he'd trace it in her hand, make it cute or whatever. Iris would like that, and he could avoid the glitterfest. He might even have enough left over to toss on Daryl. Wood shavings and glitter. Andrea would kill him for the mess, but it'd be damn worth it.
– – –
"So, we have to pick up the flowers, put the gifts in the cute gift bags we picked out, and we have to make dinner." Iris counted them off on her fingers. "And we have to send one of my dads to come and pick them up when their day is over."
"Thank God they pitched in."
"Dad wanted Carol to have a relaxing spa day, and Shane wanted to wait on his gift. I don't know why, but it's his decision and money." Daryl was stunned by their plan and was happy to pitch in, so that was good. Good Dads.
Sophia watched their moms enter the spa. They had worked to try and pay for a spa day with the works, but they were short, so their dads paid the rest. They would have to find some cheaper way to top this, but they wanted this year to be special. It was the first official Mother's Day where they're all family, and it was the first one they could all spend together. Nobody had to work, and there wouldn't be any colds or last minute emergencies—they'd taken their phones to ensure that. It was just family and good memories today.
"I think we managed to surprise them." Iris rubbed her hands over her thighs. "Mom thought I was only going to cook her breakfast again too. I could see it in her face when I made her plate."
"I don't know if Mom expected anything from me," Sophia admitted. "I think she's just happy to have me home."
"Carol takes joy in the simpler things. I kinda envy that." She rolled her head to the side to meet Sophia's eyes. "I want too much, and when it doesn't work out, I get disappointed. I feel like crap afterward, 'cause I got something, you know? I should be happy I got something."
"What are you talking about?" Sophia shifted in the driver seat.
She shook her head. "Nothing. Let's get going. We have a lot of preparing to do, and I want to make sure this day is near perfect. It'll ease the blow of my moving out."
"Andrea's stronger than you think." Sophia turned the key and moved hair from her face. "She'll adjust. She'll be happy to have alone time with Shane and a decent home office."
"No, I know Mom can handle it." Iris sat on her hands and pushed up to adjust herself before blowing out a sigh. "It's me. I need to ease the blow."
"Are you nervous?"
"I'm terrified." She rubbed the back of her neck with her hand. "I've never lived on my own before, and I know Patrick will be there, but Mom won't be. I can't walk down the hall and ask her any odd question, ask her for help or to tuck Celia in for me. I can't...see her just by turning a corner in the hall. And I know I sound crazy and clingy, but feels like a weight on my chest and my stomach's all tangled up in knots." She ducked her head to keep Sophia from seeing her tears. She hadn't shed any, however the burning in the back of her eye was rushing forward and her vision began to blur.
"I don't think that. I get it."
"Patrick doesn't have problem leaving his aunt," she murmured. "You didn't struggle when you moved out either. Enid was practically dancing boxes to the car." She snuffled.
"People are different, and we...react to things differently. I wasn't upset, just overwhelmed. Enid helped me through it, and so did Mom. It'll be okay once it's out in the open." She glanced over at her sister. "Don't feel stupid for being upset. It's normal, Iris. It's...a big step, and there's bound to be tears."
"Did Carol cry when you moved out?" She calmed herself. "Or Dad even?"
"Mom bawled." Sophia chuckled softly. "She was proud of me for making this decision and for being so independent, but God, she was a mess. We downplayed how upset Mom was, but they were mostly tears of joy. Mom always...finds bliss in seeing me move forward—seeing us all move forward."
"She does." Iris nodded.
"Dad joked about turning my room into a trophy room for his kills, but Mom would have killed him." She laughed at the expression her mom made when he first joked about it. "He couldn't do it, though. It's our room. It's where he walked in on us unannounced and caught us doing embarrassing things, where he saw us grow up. Dad couldn't move all of that out of there."
"Dad was horrible at knocking."
"Was? He still is!"
"Do you remember freshmen year?" Iris inquired. "We were supposed to be studying, but Lizzie had downloaded a bunch of music, so we started to dance?"
"Oh, my God, yes! And he walked in to tell us the pizza was there." She laughed. "Lizzie nearly shriveled up and crawled under the bed."
"I would have joined her if I wasn't so hungry." She was grinning. "Oh, remember Halloween? Uh, junior year Halloween."
"When you tried to be a sexy witch?" Iris nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I have Daryl's expression seared into my brain."
"I'll admit I wasn't old enough for that, but I did look good."
"No, you didn't. Not with all that blood."
"I wouldn't have had blood on me if you hadn't broken the blood capsule," she pointed out. "And I could've made it work. It would've been worth it."
"You were grounded for two weeks just for wearing it. I don't think it would've been."
"I'm kinda glad Dad didn't know I was his kid then. He would have wrapped me in your blankets and carried me back to my room."
"I would have helped."
Iris smirked. "I know. You're the goody-goody."
"I am not!"
"You are. It's your thing. Don't fight it. It's adorable." She pinched her cheek at a red light. "You keep me in line."
"I thought that was Celia's job."
"It was, but she already has too many, so it's yours now."
"How lucky I am."
"So," Iris said after a moment of silence. "I think Mom suspects I'm moving out. Did I already tell you? Or just Dad?"
"Uhh, no. I don't think so."
"Well, I think she knows. She's been bringing it up more and more, and I asked Shane and Dad, but they both were sure she didn't know. She may assume, but I dunno for sure. I'll have to talk to her tomorrow. That's when Patrick wants to move in. Or start, at least."
Sophia pursed her lips. "Why tomorrow?"
"His aunt moved a couple of weeks ago. She lives with her boyfriend now, and the rent's almost up. He wants to be out before it's due, and it's just him we have to move in quickly." She rubbed her neck. "I have to pack up my things and Celia's, donate some things, sell others. I'm anxious, but it has to be done."
"Just take your time. I can help on Friday, maybe."
"Don't worry about it. Dad's going to help me, maybe Daryl and Uncle Merle too if I ask. I'm planning to pay them back with dinner. I'm thinking fast food or pizza. Patrick might not be home, and I don't think semi-raw food is a thanks."
"You're not that terrible a cook."
"No, but I'm close."
Sophia chuckled. "Go with the pizza. You can rarely go wrong with pizza."
"Okay."
"Now back to making this the best Mother's Day ever, and possibly never topping it in our young adult lives."
"When we're in our thirties, I saw we treat them to a family vacation. A place with water so clear you can see to the bottom and white sand." She beamed. "I've always wanted to go somewhere like that."
"Yeah, but then we'll have to top that with Father's Day," Sophia reminded her.
"Right, Dad and Dad." She nodded. "Save that for a holiday."
"Maybe Riley will know by that time."
"Somehow I doubt that."
"Hey, don't pick on our infant brother when he's not even here."
"Fine, fine. But when he's seven and in the car with us, I'm going to pick on him. Will it be okay then?"
"No, it won't be."
"You're such a middle child," Iris teased.
"I am proud of it." She reached over and pinched Iris on the arm. "That's for future bullying of Riley."
"Ow."
––
"So, we just sit here like mud sushi?" Andrea peeked over at Carol.
Carol chuckled. "Just try and relax."
"I'm impressed by this. I didn't think they'd do something this extravagant. I wonder why."
"We'll find out by the end of the day, I'm sure." Carol inhaled deeply. "But I know what you mean though. This is a bit much."
"I've been here before," Andrea confessed.
"When?"
"Before I adopted Iris. Long before." She smiled a little. "Amy and I were here with our mom. It was her treat to us for my birthday. It was fun. I enjoyed it."
"But not now?"
"I have a lot on my mind this time."
"Like?"
"Empty nest."
Carol opened her eyes. "Iris is moving out?"
"She hasn't said it yet, but yeah, I think so."
"It's a good thing."
"I know. I should be relieved to have her out of the house, to see her so able and mature, but I'm dreading it."
"It'll be okay. Take it from someone who's been there."
"It's different. Everything in my life has changed, but I feel how I did when I found out I couldn't have children. Well, the after part." She shook her head. "An empty house for me to rot in."
"Andrea," Carol began.
"I know. I have Shane, and I have you and Daryl, but...I can't help it. She's...the only child I'll ever have and letting go of her for Daryl was difficult. I thought that was the hardest moment of my life, but her moving out...might take the cake."
"She'll visit you, you know. Celia adores you too much to not see you once a week."
"I don't know." She heaved a sigh. "I just don't know."
Carol thought for a moment before asking, "Tell me your favorite moment with Iris? When she was a child, when it was just the two of you."
Andrea smiled. "That's easy."
– – –
Iris was seven, soon to be eight, and fall was upon them. It was just the two of them today. She had taken the weekend off to spend it with Iris and her family, and she was glad she had. It was great so far. They had a big breakfast at the local pancake house, and Iris was full of energy. Coupled with how beautiful it was outside, Andrea would burn this memory in her brain. It was almost too much.
They were out by the water, Iris was a bundled up ball of energy, and Andrea' was relieved to see her so energetic. It was a little past noon, the nippy air brushed their exposed skin, and she offered Iris the leftover pancake from their breakfast so she could toss it at the ducks. She bent down as Iris enthusiastically tossed shredded pancake at the ducks, and she laughed, not entirely with a reason.
"Do you have any more?" Iris turned to her mom, her cheeks and tip of her nose a bit red, and Andrea shook her head. "When will they leave?"
"Hmm, I don't know. I've never really looked into ducks. Grandpa would know."
"Can I call and ask?"
"We can ask him tonight."
"Okay."
"C'mere." Andrea wrapped an arm around her and pulled her onto her lap, supporting both of their weight on her legs, and she embraced her. She set the back of her hand on her daughter's cheek. "You're cool. Do you want to get home?"
"No." She gazed out at the water. "It's so pretty. I wish we could stay here."
"You like the water?"
"And the trees." She tugged her hat down over her ears. "It makes me feel like I'm home."
"The trees and the water?"
She nodded and met her mom's eyes. "And you."
Andrea smiled. "I love you too. You know, I think I can survive anything as long as I have you."
"Anything?" Iris questioned.
"Anything."
"Like, even being shot?"
"Even that."
Iris pursed her lips and nodded. "Just don't try it."
Andrea laughed. "Trust me. I won't go out of my way to test it out." She spotted some rocks by the water and poked Iris in the stomach. "Let's go skip some stones."
"Okay." She hopped up and ran over to the pile. "Did you and Grandpa ever used to throw rocks? He told me you fished."
"We fished a lot when I was a kid. Every chance he could get, he took me out to the lake and my butt was glued to the boat. I wasn't a big fan of it sometimes, but I tried not to let it show." She grasped a smooth rock and brushed her thumb over it. "He took Amy when I left for college."
"Will he teach me?" Her eyes were sparkling. "Like he taught you and Aunt Amy?"
"Ehh, maybe when you're older." She moved hair from her mouth. "I'm sure he's very eager to teach you. He actually asked if he could show you a few tricks now."
"He did?" She beamed. "Can he? Please? I'll listen! I'll do whatever he tells me!"
"Dad and I agreed that you could learn when we come back. It's er, not good fishing weather." She pulled out a smile. "Next time. I promise. He'll take you out, I'll stress myself into a coma, and you might have a good time."
She giggled. "I can't wait."
"Amy didn't like to hurt the fish. She...always threw them back, but not me. Dad and I ate what we caught and took the leftovers home." She lifted her gaze to the water. "We're so different. We never said it, but Dad...knew we were different. He just knew that Amy needed to let the fish go, and I needed to catch them."
"Which is better?"
"I don't know. I can't speak for you." She bent down and set a hand on her head. "You'll have to go and find out. Dad may already know what type of fisher you are."
She searched her mom's eyes. "Okay."
"Just one rule: no crying on the boat. He'll tell you that before you leave and when you're about to get in the boat."
"Why no crying?" she squinted up at her mom.
"It scares the fish." She pinched her nose, and Iris laughed a little. "Do you remember how to skip stones?"
Iris shook her head. "I don't think I ever have."
"Well, it's easy." She set the rock in her palm. "I'll show you how to skip them. You'll get the hang of it."
She closed her fingers around the cold rock. "Will you be there when Grandpa shows me how to fish?"
"Not the first time. Dad's a better teacher than I am, and you'll have so much fun. I'll be with Grandma." She had stressed over every possible scenario when Dad told her he wanted to take Iris fishing, and she stress slept (meaning she didn't sleep a wink). She trusted her father and knew he wouldn't let anything happen to Iris. And if something did happen, he could handle it. She worried so often. If Iris was late getting home from the bus stop, she was tempted to call the police. She'd waited so long for this miracle, and while it wasn't what she expected, it was exactly what she wanted. She wasn't going to take chances. She had no stretch marks, no horror stories about terrible twos, but Iris was her daughter. And she couldn't smother her and keep from the world, so she'd deal with the knots. Iris would have a lot of fun when they came back in the spring. "We'll even make cookies for you guys to have when you get home. You'll have to clean up first."
"When will we come back? Soon, right?"
"Next year. I know it sounds far away now, but it's not. We'll be back by spring, and I bet Grandma has fresh, chew cookies already made at home for us."
"I can't wait."
"Me neither." She picked up a rock. "You ready?"
"Uh-huh."
She had incidentally learned how to properly throw stones from Amy. They were bored and waiting for their dad to finish packing up the gear and the tents and such, and Amy was at the dock. Andrea went to check on her. She had drove out to spend the night with them, just needing time away from school, and Mom had told her Dad and Amy would be out there all weekend. So while waiting, Amy taught her how to throw rocks. Amy was better at it, and Andrea let her gloat for about a minute then pushed her into the water. She had grabbed Andrea on the way down, but it was worth it. They had to sit on the dock and dry for an hour, and Dad made Andrea follow them home so she could help unload the car.
She enjoyed being with family. She was shit at attending birthday parties and keeping her word, but she always convinced herself that she'd tried her best. She had gotten better at keeping up with birthdays and attending them since she adopted Iris. Iris reminded her and pestered her until they drove down to see her grandparents or Amy. They drove up for Iris' birthday too. Iris always wanted to be at her grandparents for the pool, so they were planning to have her eighth birthday party at their house. A pool party. She would love it.
"That went pretty far." Andrea offered her another rock and studied her. She didn't know she could love another being so much. She didn't have any pets as a kid, and she didn't have much of a love life either. She dated a few guys in school, but it wasn't serious. Well, not until she met Shane, but it didn't work out. Two different goals, and she chose work. It didn't matter. It worked out. It lead her to Iris. The road was bumpy, but she couldn't change a single thing. "Hmm."
She often thought about Iris' birth mother. She had such disdain for the woman, and she didn't even know her. And the father. God, she hoped they paid for abandoning this precious angel. They were truly heartless people. She couldn't imagine how anyone could up and leave their wounded six-year-old alone in a hospital. Bastards. Iris deserved better than that, and Andrea would ensure Iris wanted for nothing. She wouldn't do what they did, and she wouldn't let Iris discover that she was adopted. Iris didn't need to wonder why about her shitty parents. They weren't worried about her. Clearly.
"Easy." Andrea caught her by the waist when she nearly stumbled into the water from the force she used. "You okay?"
"Yes, Mom. I'm fine."
"What was that tone? Do I annoy you?" Andrea teased.
"Sometimes," she admitted. "But I still love you."
She grinned. "I love you too." She kissed the top of her head. "Don't use so much force. You'll be swimming with the ducks otherwise."
"That'd be awesome."
"Not in this weather. You'd catch a cold, and Grandma would demand we stay until her only grandbaby feels better."
"Even better. I'd get cookies and soup. Grandma makes the best soup."
"She does, but we can't afford to stay here for much longer. I have bills, and you have school."
"I don't have to attend," she stated.
"Cute, but you do. Education is important."
"Educate me on rock skipping. I'll be a professional rock skipper."
"That's not a thing."
"I could make it a thing."
"Okay. I look forward to seeing it in the Olympics."
Iris held a rock out to her mom. "Show me how again. I can't get it right anymore."
"Well then." She accepted the rock. "I'll be your coach."
"Yeah, and you're the best coach." She smiled at her mom.
––
Sophia had to make a side trip before they picked up the flowers and such, and Iris had to make a stop as well. Sophia dropped Iris off at the hospital before driving to the cemetery. She had someone to see, and she knew it wasn't the correct day, but there wasn't a Sperm Donor Asshole Day. The actual day belonged to her actual father, someone he never was.
She found the tombstone and stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets, leering down at the name engraved on the battered stone. Edward Peletier. She cleared her throat and sank down to her knees, freeing her hands to move the hair that drifted over her face. She ran her eyes over the inscription: beloved son, devoted husband and father.
She scoffed and wanted to scratch it out, but she didn't. She rested her hands in her lap and sucked in a breath. "I've never been here before," her words were whispered, even as the cemetery was vacant around her. "Mom didn't think it was a good idea, and I didn't care. You weren't someone I loved, just someone I feared."
She curled her hands into fists, nails biting the flesh of her palms. "Espinosa told me to forgive you. She said it was more for me than you, but it was something I had to do in order to move on. I lied and told her I had. That was... God, four years ago?" She swallowed. "I couldn't forgive you. I may have said and thought I had, but deep down, I couldn't. I still don't know if I can."
When she closed her eyes and thought back, she could remember every fight. Mom did her best to shield her, but Dad yelled. She remembered the sound of dishes smashing onto the tiles in the kitchen, Mom crying out in pain, his grunt as he kicked her or punched. Mom flinched every single time he entered a room, and she always held her so tight when Dad put his arm around her shoulders too low or on her knee. Mom made excuses to get her out of those situations, and Sophia saw the price of those excuses in the morning. Long sleeves and makeup only did so much. She learned it was hard to cover up fresh bruises. That's what she learned from him. That and how to be afraid, how to make yourself as small as possible to not agitate him, to make yourself invisible.
"I hate you. I do. You were a pig, and I hate you for everything you did to my mother and almost to me." She clenched her jaw. "I was happy when Mom told me you were dead. You couldn't hurt us anymore, and you finally got what you deserved."
Her hands were shaking in her lap, and she lifted her head, tears of sheer anger boiling up in her eyes, and she scrubbed them away. They returned, and she covered her face with her hands, trying to shake it off, but she couldn't. She'd kept these emotions locked away for nearly ten years, and she couldn't anymore. She couldn't pretend to be okay with all that happened. Mom had come to terms with it through therapy, but all Espinosa did for Sophia was reawaken the hatred and the guilt. She stopped seeing her when she realized that. Carl suggested Sophia try to continue on, but she couldn't. She would wake up with a pit of anger in her belly and guilt hanging in her heart, and it was destroying her. It lingered with her, even now, and she wanted it gone. If talking could rid her of this, she would talk to the source of it all. She wouldn't let this go on a day longer. She had plenty of time before their moms had to be picked up anyway.
"I don't know why you had to hurt her. I don't know if it made you feel better about yourself or if it was just amusing to you. I don't want to know how you could do that to someone you vowed to love and cherish for the rest of your days. I could never do that, and I am thankful for that." She snuffled and knotted her hands together. "I have your rage. I can pretend I don't, but I do. It's vile, and I want rid of it. I don't want to be angry at you or hate you. You're gone now, and you don't deserve to live on in even the smallest form."
She had made up her mind last night, and she would follow through with her decision. "Mom found a way to forgive you for all you did. I assume it's because it guided us to Daryl and to Andrea and back to Karen and eventually to my baby brother, Riley. All good things." She shook her head. "I don't know where to begin to forgive you. You didn't...physically hurt me. You wanted to, you almost did, but Mom got us out. And all of my hate isn't for what you wanted to do to me—it's for what you did to Mom. The bloody lips and noses, the black eyes, the bruises, the dislocated shoulder, the broken arm, her jaw—and the list goes on.
"I couldn't protect her, and I couldn't stop you. I was too scared to call the police, to tell anybody that Dad had beaten Mom so badly he broke three ribs." She scoffed, the angry tears flooding her eyes, and she involuntarily shuddered. "I was a stupid little kid, and I know I should have done more to keep her safe." She tried to breathe, but she couldn't. Her lungs burned from the air she couldn't draw in, and she shuddered, hugging herself.
She knew all along. She had hidden it with anger and memories, but it had been there. She suspected it might have always be there. The knot that began tying itself tighter and tighter since she was seven years old. It was a harmless knot at first, but over the years it began to built and stretch inside her. She knew it was only a matter of time before it consumed her, and she didn't want to wait for that day. She would bring that day to her and get over it. It might not be as simple as that, but it could be. It started out so simple, so perhaps it could end as simple.
Hate was the star, and it had become her. The hated was rotting here underneath her knees and the grass in a wooden casket. He didn't feel it festering. He didn't see it spark and take on a life of its own sometimes. He didn't have to live it. She, the hater, did. Funny thing was...he wasn't the only one she hated. She hated him with every cell in her body, but she hated herself more. She despised herself. Weak. Childish. Stupid. Useless. She might as well have been the one slamming her foot into her mom's gut every other night. She didn't lift a finger to help, not once. She only covered her ears and prayed that it would be over soon. She prayed. Fucking prayed! And what good did Sophia's praying do for her mother, who lie soaked in her tears and blood on the floor, cowering for mercy and praying that that wouldn't be her last moment on Earth? Not a damn thing.
She knew she was a child when it began. She couldn't comprehend why Daddy pushed Mommy or why Daddy slapped Mommy for spilling a bit of water on his lap. But as she grew up, hearing the fights and the cries of agony, she did nothing. She didn't think to do anything. She only rocked herself and cried and hoped it got better. She was her daughter, and yes, it was her job to keep Sophia safe, but that didn't excuse Sophia ignoring the beatings. That didn't make Mom's shaky hands as set breakfast down in front of them okay. Her being a kid didn't justify Mom's breakdowns in the laundry. Nothing would ever make that right. Mom could have avoided some scars if Sophia had stepped up and done something.
Worthless. Moron. Good for nothing. She had heard those and much worse names uttered from Ed about her mother. Sophia applied them to herself as well. She never told her mom, not before the shelter and not after. She knew Mom would feel guilty, and Sophia didn't want that. She didn't want to see that look in her eyes. She had to keep it buried. Nobody would approve of Sophia and her self-loathing. She had buried it so well over the years she wasn't sure what the problem was while in therapy. It wasn't until one of the last sessions she knew what the root of the problem was. Pathetic. Whiny. Waste of space.
She had collapsed onto the grass, sobbing and gasping for breath. She had sent a text to Rosita shortly before entering the cemetery. She couldn't do this alone. She wasn't sure she could keep her word and have it be done today, but she had to try the second. She couldn't do the first. Alone here with her thoughts and feelings? They'd bury her as deep as her father.
––
Iris browsed through the items on the shelf, deciding on a stuffed giraffe and a card. She had pen in her purse, so she scribbled a few things down. She wasn't sure it was about some of things she'd written, but she knew it would do some good. She signed her name with a sincerely. She couldn't write love Iris, because she wouldn't mean it. She had no love for her, but someone who wasn't here anymore did. She would respect that, so sincerely it was.
She trailed through the hospital, holding the envelope and stuffed animal loosely in her arms, and she greeted the nurses who passed with a warm smile. She found the room she'd been told to go to, and she entered without announcing herself. It was better that way. She couldn't say no, and Iris wouldn't feel rude for ignoring it.
She swallowed hard at the woman before her. She knew it wouldn't be a pretty picture. She had prepared herself for this, but seeing it in person was nothing compared to the images in her mind. Tears flooded her eyes, and she tightened her grip on the items she held by her lower stomach. She inhaled and pulled out a smile when her eyelids began to flutter.
"Hey." She moved beside her bed.
"What are you doing here?" her voice was weak, and she kept blinking, as if the girl in front of her would vanish if she blinked enough.
"It's Mother's Day." She showed her the giraffe. "It's a gift."
"Why are you here?" she repeated.
She lifted her eyes. "You're my grandmother. We share nothing more than blood, but it's Mother's Day, and your daughter isn't here to be here with you." She bit her bottom lip, fidgeting. "So here I am. Granddaughter."
She shook her head. "I was never a grandmother to you."
"So?" She shrugged a shoulder and met her eyes. "I won't let you be alone the entire day on Mother's Day."
"You have plans with your actual family, so just go."
"No." She sat down then. "You can't make me anyway. You're too weak."
She scoffed. "You'll spend today bothering me? Knowing that I am unable to shoo you away? Really?"
"Yep." She moved hair behind her ear and set the envelope on her stomach. "I didn't lick it shut. You can just open it. I...put a few pictures in there."
"Iris, go home."
"No." She locked eyes with the pale, sickly old woman. "I am not leaving you alone, Ruth. My mother wouldn't want that."
"Your mother would have a stroke if she knew you were here with me."
"No." Iris shook her head now. "She wouldn't."
"Foolish girl, just like Celia."
"I may be, but oh well." She set her purse on the floor. "I heard you were admitted last year around Christmas. Uncle Merle told me. I didn't know you two keep in touch."
"We don't. He...was here, happened to overhear one of the doctor's discussing my...issues with me. Shit luck. Damn shit luck."
"I don't think it was." She smiled gently. "I think it was a good luck."
"The hell are you going on about?"
"You don't have anybody," Iris stated. "No friends, no neighbors, no kind strangers—only me. I'm the last piece of family you have, and I'm not going to let you spend what could be your last Mother's Day alone. I couldn't spend the last few with my own mom, but not this year. I won't...let anybody be ignored."
She chortled at the girl's foolishness and soon began to cough, and Iris shot up to aid her, but she pushed Iris away. Iris ignored her arms and got her some water. She wasn't sure what to do in this situation, but the water seemed to help. Ruth's glare began to diminish, and Iris plucked the envelope from her lap and held it out to her. Ruth eyed it before taking the envelope, but she didn't open it.
"Why spend time with me? You don't even like me."
"I don't dislike you. I dislike how you treated my family, how you treated me at your home, but I let go of that years ago. I have more important things in my life." She exhaled. "I was going through the album my birth mother left me, and I saw a picture of you both. I'd seen it before, but I didn't tell you about it. I had a copy made, and I put it in the envelope with one of me and my daughter. You don't have to open it, but I just wanted you to know."
Ruth watched the young woman collect her things, and she moistened her lips. "That it?"
"I wanted to let you know that you had a child who loved you through every hardship and disagreement. That's what Mother's Day should be about: remembering the love and the joy and the agony being a mother has brought into your life." She shouldered her purse. "Being a mom isn't easy. It's a struggle, and it's not always kisses and hugs; it can be brutal and fights and slamming doors. I've been a mom for four years, and Celia is...the love of my life. She's a precious angel, and we don't always have good days. She has tantrums and fits, and I have moments where I don't know what the hell I'm doing or how the hell I'm going to raise her, but they pass. I learn, and she learns. It makes me feel like all of the shit my body's endured was worth it for her, for the smile she puts on my face. I wanted you to have a tiny piece of that feeling before...you die.
"I've been a daughter my entire life, and I could have given up on my relationship with my mom when she told me about my father. I didn't. It was a rough time, but we moved past it. We're better—closer—because of it, and—" Iris cut off when she saw Ruth was crying. "What's wrong?"
She couldn't regain her composure. "You...named her Celia?"
"Yeah. Celia Grace Harrison. She has both mine and her dad's last name, but his is...weird to pronounce and spell, so we stick with Harrison."
"She's four now?" She wiped at her eyes quickly, knowing the girl had seen them, but not wanting to let her continue to see her tears.
"Yeah." She pointed to the envelope. "There's a picture of us from last weekend."
Her eyes lowered to the pink envelope and turned it over, pulling out the card. The pictures fell out onto her lap of her Celia and Iris with Celia. She gazed at the youngest member of her family, and she swallowed hard. Her great granddaughter was beautiful, clearly happy and healthy. Four years old now. She remembered her own daughter at four, and she averted her eyes.
"She favors her a dad more now," Iris commented. "Especially in that picture."
"You're very lucky."
"I know I am." She approached the bed. "It took me a long time to come to that conclusion, but I got there. I realized that I wanted to tell you something."
"What?" She glanced briefly at her granddaughter.
"Thank you."
"Thank you? What the hell for?"
"For having Celia, for...giving me to my father, for fake apologizing to him too. You have affected my life and my father's more than you can know, and I am thankful for it. You don't need to feel guilty about your hasty actions back then anymore. I said it before—that I forgave you—but I didn't until a couple months after that." She laced her fingers together. "I don't expect you to say anything to me, kind or cruel, but I wanted you to know that I am grateful."
Ruth shook her head. "What, are you tryin' to give me peace?"
"No, just the truth."
"I don't want your truth."
"I know, but I needed to say it to you." She inhaled, reached over and clasped her hand. "Happy Mother's Day, Grandmother."
She scoffed, but there were tears in her eyes again. "Don't call me that. You have someone else who's earned that name to be called it."
"I do, but I doubt you've been called any kind of mother in twenty years or so." She squeezed her hand then released it. "I have to leave now, so goodbye, Grandmother."
"Do you mean it this time?"
She nodded. "Goodbye."
Ruth watched her only grandchild leave her hospital room, her eyes found the picture of Iris and Celia, and she covered her mouth with her hand. She tried not to, but her eyes moved to her Celia. It was before times got shittier, before Celia got pregnant and sick. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Back when Ruth could honestly call herself Celia's mother. In the end, she was a jailer, nothing more. But there in that moment, they were mother and daughter. She wished all of their moments had been like that. It was her biggest regret. She knew her time was running out, and the last thought in her mind would be of Celia's warm and loving smile as she looked down at the only picture of her daughter.
––
Iris hitched a ride with Patrick and made a brief stop at the cemetery. It was where her birth mother was burned, where Ruth would be buried, and she minded her steps, finding the granite headstone with the same name as her daughter. She had made it a tradition to visit her grave every Mother's Day. She had come from her after all, and she felt close to her through the album she'd made. She would never know her in this life, but she could visit her grave, have a chat and leave her favorite flowers there.
Iris lowered herself down and ran her fingertips over the rough stone, smiling a little. "Hey, it's me. I brought you some pink daisies." She set them down gently on the grass. "Patrick picked them out. I had to meet...Ruth, so that's why I'm late. Sorry."
She set the picture of her birth mom and grandmother in the flowers. "Happy Mother's Day." She kissed her fingertips and set them over the engraved name. "Dad tells Celia all about you. Don't worry, it's all the good stuff," she whispered. "I love you, and I'll be back next year. I can stay longer then."
She rose and walked back to the car, seeing Patrick waiting outside the car, stretching his legs. She picked up the pace and jumped him. He jolted, and she laughed. "Didn't anyone tell you never to let your guard down at a cemetery?"
"At a cemetery, or around you?"
"Both. But we can discuss that later. We have a lot to do, and I want to get home and see our daughter." Whenever she visited Celia's grave, her heart felt heavy, but once she was home, she was light. She liked leaving flowers for her mother, and she hoped Celia liked that too. Iris wouldn't let her be forgotten. "C'mon."
"Hang on a sec." He reached into his pocket and handed her a box. "It's my gift to you."
"Gift?"
"Well, Shane and Daryl got Carol and Andrea one. I don't know that Celia made you anything, and I wanted to give you something, so here it is."
"You didn't have to."
"I know, but I did."
She smiled and opened it, finding a ring inside. A diamond ring that clearly was a family heirloom. "Oh, my God. Patrick, I can't—"
"You can. My aunt gave it to me, and I want you to have it." He took it from the box and slid it down her right ring finger. "You've given me more than anyone else, and I love you. You're an amazing mother, and I can't wait to live with you."
She hugged him. "I love you too." She had to get him a gift for Father's Day now. How would she top this? She and Sophia were sending Dad(s) and Merle on a fishing trip, but Patrick would die. He would curl up and die if he was left to live off the land for a week. He could barely survive the woods around Uncle Merle's house, but he wanted to help Merle build a tree house for Celia and Riley. Christ, she needed to talk to Mom about this. She would know. Hopefully.
"Happy Mother's Day."
She kissed him. "I'll thank for this properly later. We just have so much to do."
"I look forward to it."
"You should." She kissed him once more. "Let's go. I'll call Sophia when we're home."
– – –
Sophia had sobbed until her body couldn't produce more tears, and she lied on the grass, eyes closed but not asleep. She was exhausted, and she wanted to go home. She had no energy to move. It was the only hitch in her plan right now. She snuffled and plucked at the blades of grass.
"Did you get it all out?"
She shot out at the sound of Rosita's voice. "Dr. Espinosa!"
Rosita smiled warmly. "You look like you've been crying for a while."
"Kind of."
"How do you feel?"
"Like I could use a nap." She wiped at her dry cheeks in case any wet streaks remained, and she snuffled. "And a shower."
"Did you get to the root of it?" She closed the space between them. "The reason why you couldn't let go of your father?"
She nodded. "I...hate him for hurting her, and I hate myself for not doing more to protect her."
"You were a child. No one expected you to jump in between them."
"I was seven, sure, but I was well aware of what he was doing. I didn't do anything. Then I was eight then nine then ten, and I still did nothing! I let him continue to beat her and bloody her, and all I did was cower."
"She didn't want you involved. If you had done something, he might have killed you both."
"Or I could have gotten us out of there sooner."
"You are out of there now. He's dead."
"Yeah, but—"
"You can't change what's already happen," Rosita interrupted her. "You hate yourself for things that have already been laid to rest. Your mother is alive and has a son with her new husband, your new stepfather. You're alive and attending school to become a social worker. You're dating. You're living life. You're doing all the things he didn't want you to do, and he can't stop you."
"I know all of that, but I can't shake this knot."
"Because you don't know. You expect so much of yourself, even at such a young age, and you should push yourself, but that was out of your hands." She searched her eyes. "You weren't helpless. You were just a child. Carol was the adult, and she made the decision ten years later to leave him. It was her who should have helped herself, and I know you want to blame yourself so you don't blame her, but you can't think like that anymore. Fear does horrible things to people, and Carol found bravery when she needed it most. Be proud of that."
"Why would I blame my mom? She was the victim!"
"She also kept you in that house, kept herself in that house, for years. She took his beatings for over a decade. She accepted her fate. That is until he began to look at you. She left him instantly when you were in danger. She didn't care to save herself until you were at risk."
She lowered her eyes. "I don't...blame her."
"You do. You were seven, and you didn't understand why your mom wouldn't leave the man who beat her unconscious every other night at the drop of a hat."
Sophia was silent.
"It's understandable. She probably taught you to walk away from fights, from rude people, but she wasn't. She slept next to an abuser every night. She didn't try to escape once. She just took every blow, every kick, every word then cleaned up the mess and did it all over again the next evening."
She gulped. "I don't hate her though."
"Of course not." She set a hand on her shoulder. "You need to talk to her. Not today, but soon."
"How do I ask her about this?"
"It won't be as difficult as you're imagining. It's in your past, and it is a wound that runs deep, but it can't touch either of you anymore. She'll know that, and it'll be okay." She offered her a smile. "Just talk to her."
"Maybe."
"Well, I'm always around. You called, so you clearly want to talk. I just believe it's with your mother, not me."
She nodded. "I—I should go now. I have to make dinner and prepare the house and stuff."
"Don't forget what I said." She stepped back. "And I am here if you need me."
"I know. Uh, goodbye." She smiled and departed, expelling a large sigh and snuffling once more. She didn't want to talk to her mom about Ed, but she couldn't go on feeling this way. She had to make a choice, and Rosita did make a good point. Ed was dead, the past was the past, and she knew that yet the knot lingered. Clearly that wasn't the issue. Mom would want her to talk about this with her. So maybe tomorrow they could have lunch and talk. Maybe.
– – –
Daryl put Riley down for his nap and made sure Celia was tucked in for hers. She had made a mess downstairs to try and finish her gift for Iris. He would have to clean it up. Shane was searching for vases in the attic, and they both knew he was avoiding helping them. Merle was already tidying up the mess of wood shavings and scraps from Celia's attempts at making a heart-shaped card.
He softly pulled the door shut and joined his brother. "Did she finish her gift?"
"Yeah, she made a card and dunked it all in glitter." He shook his head. "Looks decent though. Iris will like it."
"Iris likes just about anythin' Celia makes her."
"Yeah, she does." He emptied the dust pan. "So, kid went down easy?"
"Yeah, both of 'em. Celia won't be out for long. Iris and Sophia will be back soon." He wiped down the table. "Shane come down yet?"
"He lengthened the table. He's been in the attic for an hour now, lookin' for "vases"." Merle shook his head.
Daryl was about to speak when the girls pulled up. He headed out to give them a hand, Iris and Patrick were the only two home, and he asked about Sophia. Iris told him she had to swing by the house for Carol's card, and they carried in the groceries.
Shane came down then with dusty ass vases in his arms, Iris took them carefully and cleaned them up and Patrick arranged them before taking them to the dining room. Daryl emptied the bag, Iris had asked him last night if he'd help with the cooking, and he didn't mind to. The girls had cleaned the entire house for their mothers and arranged the spa thing, so it was the least he could do. Carol deserved this. She'd been working herself far too much, and with their son, she had to juggle both motherhood and work. Sophia had school, and Carol didn't want to impose on her. Daryl often took the kid with him, but some days he hung out with Maggie or in Carol's office with her. They needed to find a babysitter. Relatively soon.
"I'll go set the table. I have to finish the bags anyway, so I need the space the table provides." Iris shrugged out of her jacket and tiptoed upstairs to get the bags.
"I'll keep the kids busy when they wake up." Sophia pulled her hair back. "Mom and Andrea will be back at six, so we have a few hours. You can do whatever you plan with the meat, and I'll cook the side dishes with Patrick."
"I'll be the one to pick 'em up, right?" Shane leaned in the doorway.
"Yes."
"I'm only here for the free food," Merle joked. "I did help out Celia too."
"With what?" Sophia stuffed the bags into the trash. "Her gift to Iris?"
"Yeah, it's outside drying."
"What did you guys make?"
"You'll see."
"Okay, I will." She rubbed her hands together. "There's not much to do right now, so I'm going to get some fresh air. Call me if Riley or Celia wake up, okay? I'll be gone five minutes."
"Take your time. I'll watch the kids," Shane offered. "They're my family too."
"Thanks, Shane." She slipped out the front door and sauntered down the driveway to the sidewalk.
"He's my godson," Merle challenged.
"No, he's not," Daryl shot back. "We haven't decided who his godparents are."
"We know it's gonna be me," he retorted. "Stop lookin'."
Daryl shook his head. "Carol's thinkin' Karen or Andrea."
"Really?" Shane met his eyes. "She trusts us to raise your son?"
"Yeah, but she hasn't decided on who yet. She's been busy."
"He gets to be the godfather to my nephew?" Merle hissed. "What the hell's wrong with this picture? He's my blood!"
"Merle, keep your voice down, and that's just the godmother. She...asked me to pick the godfather, and I dunno. I haven't had a lot of time to think about it. Calm down."
"What's to think about?"
"A lot of things," he snapped. "You have your own life now, Merle. A serious girlfriend and part ownership of our business. I can't expect you to just drop everythin' if somethin' happened to us."
"I'd drop it anyway. He's my nephew, and I'd take care of him like he was my own. I'd do the same for Iris and Sophia, if they wasn't already grown." He huffed. "Shane already has Celia. He needs Riley too?"
Shane scoffed. "I don't have Celia, dumbass. I've taken care of her from time to time, but her godparents aren't me and Andrea. Sophia and Carl are. We're, like, back ups."
"Seriously? She made y'all backups for the backup?"
"She doesn't want us to feel overburdened."
"Shit." Merle crossed his arms. "Still call dibs on the boy."
"You can't call dibs!"
"Already did."
"Wow, if you were a little more loud, I'd hear you in Spain!" Iris stood at the end of the stairs, holding the gift bags for her moms. "Don't worry about Celia, okay? I've got it covered. Besides if things go right, uncle, you may have a son of your own."
"How the hell do you know about that?" he demanded. "You too, brother? I didn't you."
"I overheard it just a now."
"Carol told me," Daryl answered. "By accident, but I figured. You have hand soap in your bathroom and the place ain't a mess."
He shook his head. "I'm gonna find the kid and walk with her."
"Sophia's on a walk?" Iris inquired, and Daryl nodded. "I hope she's okay. She seemed upset when I called her. She didn't tell me anything, but I know her well enough to know when she's been crying."
"Wait, cryin'? What's wrong her?"
"I don't know, but she didn't want to talk to me about." She shrugged a shoulder. "There's nothing I can do to help her if she doesn't want to talk to me."
"I'll go find her," Daryl told Merle.
"Nah, lemme." He traipsed out the door before Daryl could.
"You've got dinner," Shane told him, "I've got the kids. If you wanna switch, I'll be upstairs."
He gave a nod, his eyes glued to the front door where his daughter and brother departed from, and he frowned. He wondered what had upset Sophia. She always spoke on her issues at college or rent or bills. She didn't usually keep things to herself. What happened while they were out?
– – –
"You'll adjust," Carol murmured.
"What?" Andrea didn't bother to open her eyes. She was lax and comfy as she was, and she was about to drift off into a deep nap. "Adjust to what?"
"Iris living on her own."
"I feel like I'm clinging to her more than she's clinging to me," Andrea muttered. "I told you that I want her to be independent and follow her dreams, but I don't know how I feel about her living alone."
"She'll have Celia, likely Patrick too. She won't be alone."
"I know, but I worry." She rolled her eyes open. "I worry that I haven't taught how to live on her own. There were so many things I had planned on teaching her, but she got pregnant, and we had to focus on raising her baby. The time I had planned on teaching her how to pay her bills and balance her checkbook were spent learning about changing diapers, how to tell if Celia has an ear infection, and rashes and vaccinations. I don't know if I've prepared her enough."
"You can still teach her those things. She'll have Patrick to lean on, Sophia as well, but you're the person she's going to come with a problem she doesn't know how to solve. She's prepared, Andrea, and whatever she isn't prepared for, you'll be there. Like her dads and me, like her sister. She'll be fine. Her adaption skills are effortless these days."
"Change has been good for her. Well, there's always an abrasive start, but you know what I mean."
"I do." Carol smiled for her. "You're a good mother, and you taught her well. The rest she'll learn as she lives. You can't ready her for everything, you know."
"You're right. I shouldn't worry. She has people to turn to. She has me."
"I think you just like worrying," Carol teased. "About me, about Iris, about Celia. It's become your hobby."
"You scared the shit out of me," Andrea remarked. "Your pregnancy was one of the most stressful pregnancies of my life."
She laughed. "I was fine."
"I didn't know that. I wasn't a doctor, and you were in pain. You freaked me out, and I couldn't get you to the hospital fast enough."
"I told you it was nothing to worry about, and I was right. I had a child before, so I knew what I was talking about."
"After Iris had to have a C-section, I take no chances." She met her eyes. "You're my best friend, and I wasn't going to risk your life. Or the baby's. Daryl thanked me. Hell, even Merle did."
"Oh, God. You three were the worst part of being pregnant. Karen was excited, Shane lent me a hand if I needed it, but you three were a nightmare. The constant check ups, the phone calls, bringing me a healthier lunch—you even took my blood pressure!"
"That wasn't me. That was Daryl. Blame Patrick. He showed him how."
"You guys were suffocating. You're lucky I love all of you so much."
She laughed. "I only did it because I love you."
"I'll have to remind Iris not to tell you about her next pregnancy until it's the last month."
"Don't you dare!"
"I wouldn't, but now I'm tempted to."
"If I could move, I'd push you right now." Carol giggled, and Andrea closed her eyes. "Thank you, Carol."
"Shh. I'm trying to absorb the spa experience." Andrea peeked at her, and Carol smirked. "You're welcome."
– – –
Sophia racked her hands through her hair and groaned, turning the corner and jumping. She gripped her heart and stumbled back at the sight of her uncle. She glared at him, and he smirked back at her. She walked by him and continued down the street, hoping that he would just go away, but he didn't. He fell into step beside and spoke.
"What're you doin' out here?"
"Thinking. Walking helps me think." She glanced at him. "And you?"
"Workin' on my tan."
"Don't lie. I'm not in the mood. Did Dad send you?"
"No. Iris said you were upset. What's goin' on kid?" He interrupted before she could open her mouth. "And don't lie. I ain't in the mood."
"Don't tell my parents."
"Best person to come to. Unless you're in trouble."
"I'm not."
"Go on."
She cleared her throat. "I went to see Ed's grave today. It's the first time I've been. I didn't attend his funeral, and I never got...the answers I needed."
"You didn't find 'em at his grave, did you?"
"I did, and I don't know what to do with these new questions and feelings." She wrung her hands and stopped walking. "I don't know what to say to her when I see her. I'm angry at myself for even thinking these thoughts, and it only makes me hate myself even more. It's—"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa." He held his hands out. "You hate yourself?"
She lowered her eyes. "Since I was seven."
"Christ. Seven? Why?"
"Because of what I let my dad do to my mom. I know it wasn't my hand or—or my boot, but I didn't try to save her. I knew what he was doing was wrong, and still I just...stayed in my room. I stayed quiet in school."
"Let that shit go," he ordered. "You were a fuckin' kid. You couldn't do shit, and I don't want to hear you talk like that again. It's bullshit. "You didn't do anythin'". Pfft, what hell do you think would've happened? You ain't livin' in a movie, kid. I know men like that, and he would've covered his tracks. You'd have only added to his anger. You would've been more a target than you already were."
"You don't know that."
"I do know that my old man used to beat the shit out of me, out of Daryl. He didn't care about anythin', just drank and smoked and snorted his money away. I took care of Daryl as best I could. Not good enough 'cause the kid still got scars." He shook his head. "Nothin' made him happy, and I sure as hell didn't try to please him. He was just born an asshole."
"You don't blame yourself for what happened to Daryl?"
"I should've taken him with me when I left, but I didn't. Daryl could've left, but he didn't. It ain't his fault though. It's our old man's. He was the one who lifted his fist or his belt. He's the one who didn't stop himself. He didn't try to keep Iris in the house, just left the door wide open for her to waltz out of. He was a piece of shit, and he's long dead."
She hugged herself. "I get your point, but—"
"No buts. It was Ed and it was Joe, not you or me or Daryl or Iris. We were contributing factors, but in the end...it was all them. It wasn't you, Sophia, wasn't Daryl, wasn't me."
"I wish getting rid of this feeling was that easy."
"It won't be. It wasn't for me, but I got through it. I got one hell of a therapist."
"You see someone?"
"Yeah, I do. I had to. When Daryl told me my niece was still alive, I knew...I had to straighten up my act. I never let Iris see me drunk, and I wasn't gonna let her see me drunk and strung out on drugs and understand it. I had one last beer with my brother, got myself clean and am still workin' this shit out."
She nodded.
The wind picked up, Sophia wished she had kept her hair pulled up as hair blew in her face, and Merle studied his niece. There was a sorrow in her eyes that didn't involve Ed, and that hatred wasn't all from not saving her mom. He knew that look. He wished it wasn't in her eyes.
"You blame her, don't you? Your mom."
"What? No! No, I wouldn't blame her. She was the victim!"
"I blamed my mom when my old man began to wail on me. I blamed myself for not fightin' back. 'Course I blamed him most of all."
"I don't blame her. I just...don't understand some things."
"Why she stayed? Why she didn't defend herself?"
She averted her eyes and whispered, "Yes."
"Well, for starters, your mom ain't a victim."
"She was his," Sophia argued.
"Listen to me, Sophia. Carol ain't a victim. That woman's a damn survivor." He locked eyes with her. "She did what she had to do to keep you clothed, to keep you feed and warm. She didn't like it. She didn't want it, but she had you to consider. Her little girl. Back then Carol probably couldn't do shit. After years of keeping her mouth shut and trying to please your asshole old man, that's all she knew. You can't provide for a child that way."
Sophia shifted her weight and nodded in understanding.
"If she'd have left, where would she go? She and Karen weren't on speakin' terms from what I heard. She had no money, so she couldn't get an apartment. That meant y'all were shivering on the cold, hard ground night after night. Nobody's gonna hire someone they can't contact. Got no phone, no address." His lips twisted to the side in an oh well gesture. "Y'all would've been screwed, and he would've found you. The next day, next week. Shit, perhaps even that night, and he would've had killed your mom, done horrible things to you. That was the last thing she wanted."
"But we went to the shelter when we left. We could have gone there sooner."
"Sophia, that shelter didn't exist then. I got the whole transformation story from Axel. You help Maggie out once and get an earful from that ginger." He rolled his eyes. "But to the point, there wasn't anywhere to go. Not till that lot was brought and remade as a woman's shelter. Carol had no options, so she stayed for you."
Tears burned in her eyes. "So, it's my fault?"
"No, it's hers. For lovin' you too damn much to see you cold on the street, your future practically impossible." He lightly punched her shoulder to try and get to her smile. "She's a survivor, like you, and she did what she did to give you your best shot in this hell hole."
She shook her head, tears rolling down her cheeks, and Merle set a hand on her head, pulling her into a hug, and she bawled. She hadn't thought about it like that. She had been hung up on the fact that her mother stayed with an abusive snake for ten years. She couldn't move past that fact to see the others. God, how could she have thought those terrible things? She was the worst! Mom would be so disappointed in her.
"It's gonna be okay," Merle assured her. "Life ain't as clear cut as you think, but you'll be okay." He ran his hand down her hair and thought abut what Carol had told him over breakfast yesterday. He didn't know if he was a good father figure, but he wasn't the worst. If Carol could see a good man in him, if Francine could see a man worthy enough to meet her child, then maybe it was there. A good man. He had been told all his life he was an asshole, a hardhearted son of a bitch. He'd heard it so often that that's what he became. It wasn't all he was. An asshole, yeah, but he was a brother, an uncle to three. He could try being a father figure. He wasn't signing on for live, but he'd give it a try.
––
Sophia hurried upstairs before Dad could see her face, however as the kitchen was the first room you entered and he was cooking, that didn't work. She didn't listen when he called to her, and she locked herself in the bathroom to wash her face.
"What happened?" Daryl demanded.
"She'll be fine." Merle checked the fridge for a drink and grabbed a juice meant for Celia. "She just had to get it out. Go talk to her, but she's okay."
Daryl went after Sophia and almost ran into her in the hall. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm better now." She wiped at her cheek, the warm water still moist on her skin. "I just had a rough morning is all. It'll pass."
"You know you can talk to me."
"I know, Dad. I just had to talk to someone else first. I'm good." She smiled to prove it. "Now, I have to help Iris with the gift bags, or Mom will end up with the wrong bath salts. I doubt you want to cuddle up with her in cotton candy smelling water."
"Cotton candy?"
"It's mine. Sorta."
"Don't tell me why." He searched her face. "You're sure you're okay?"
She laughed. "Yes, Dad, I'm okay. I've cried it out, and I just...need to talk to Mom later. If you'll excuse me." She padded down the stairs to give Iris a hand.
Daryl returned to the kitchen. "You talked to her?"
Merle sucked on the straw to finish the juice box. "Repeated some crap my therapist told me is all." He tossed the box in the trash. "If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna call Francine then take a nap. Wake me up when dinner's ready."
"I'll get right on that."
Merle stepped outside and sat down on the porch. He pulled out his phone and dialed Francine's number. He waited through two rings before she picked up. "It's Merle." He bit his bottom lip and confessed to her why he'd been avoiding her and when he'd like to meet her son.
– – –
Shane had departed to pick up Carol and Andrea, Iris and Sophia had the table set and the flowers placed; Patrick had the kids ready and Merle was snoozing on the couch. Daryl found the camera and gave it to Iris. She wanted to take pictures for her photo album.
"Shane should be back with them any minute." Iris adjusted the strap of the camera on her wrist. "Where are Celia and Riley?"
"They're outside with Dad and Patrick." Sophia sank down on the arm of the couch. "Honestly, I can't wait for today to be over. I am so tired."
"You looked pretty pooped." Iris asked, "How are you feeling? Since I called you, I haven't had a chance to ask."
"I feel better." She leaned back. "I think I want to continue to see Dr. Espinosa. Just for a bit."
"Take as long as you need. You know Mom would say that."
"She would." Sophia smiled. "Speaking of moms, did Celia give you anything?"
"If she has anything for me, Daryl and Patrick have kept her from giving it to me. I was busy too. I'll find out at dinner." She checked the camera battery. "It's weird."
"What is?" Sophia hopped off the couch.
"We're not the kids anymore. To our parents, we're little kids, but...in truth, that goes to Riley and Celia. It's weird."
"We're the young adults now." Sophia put her hands on her hips. "It is a little weird, but that's life. At least we're not where we were fifteen years ago."
"True." She stepped toward her. "I can't complain with my life right now."
"I'll give you a week."
She laughed. "That's giving me too much credit. Try me tomorrow when Celia won't go down for her nap."
"She'll be in preschool soon," Sophia commented. "Then kindergarten and first grade."
"I'm excited and terrified at the same time." She bit her bottom lip. "Patrick found her daycare, so he probably has her schools already picked out. He's...insane like that."
"He has his entire life planned out."
"He actually does. He has a thirty-year plan. It's a little spooky. I can barely plan for the week, let alone thirty years."
"I have a five-year plan," Sophia admitted. "It's has its holes, but it's a basic outline of where I want to be by the time I'm twenty-five."
"Does Carl know that?"
"He does."
"Is he a part of it?"
"For now. I can't say he always will be." She shrugged a shoulder. "I'll have to wait and see."
"Good thinking."
Shane arrived then with Carol and Andrea, Daryl brought in Celia and Riley, Patrick locked the back door, and they greeted them. Iris and Sophia both embraced their moms, Shane had already greeted Andrea when he picked her up, and Daryl was forced to greet Carol before Sophia had let her go as Riley wouldn't stop reaching for her.
"So, were you surprised?" Iris beamed at her mom. "Did you enjoy yourself?"
"I was stunned." Andrea returned her smile. "And yes. It took a minute, but I did. It was very thoughtful. Thank you."
"You're very welcome."
"It smells good in here. Did you guys cook dinner as well?"
"We did. Dad did the seasonings, and Sophia and Patrick made the side dishes, and it was safer for all of us that I set the table."
Andrea nodded. "I'm even more impressed."
"Wait till you seeing the dining room." Shane guided her toward it as he spoke.
"You look better," Sophia reported. "Did you like it? It took us a month to figure out what to do then like five to save up. Dad helped. Shane too."
"I'd never been to a spa, but I loved it. I am very appreciative." She held her son close. "How was your day?"
"It was fine." Sophia met her eyes. "I'd like to talk to you tomorrow. I can come over for lunch. Would that be okay?"
"I have to work, but I'd love to have lunch with you." Carol looked at her husband. "No glitter in sight. Did you manage to save yourself?"
"For now." He leaned over and kissed her. "C'mon, before the food gets cold."
Sophia held the door open for them, Iris started to follow, but Patrick called to her. She spun around and smiled at him and their daughter who was in his arms.
"What is it?" She met his eyes.
"Celia has something for you." He whispered to her, and she held out small wooden heart-shaped dish.
"Merle helped me make it," Celia told her.
She accepted it and turned it over in her hand. "It's beautiful." It had a few cute stickers on the bottom and was glittery and her name was carved in it. "Thank you so much, sweetie." She kissed her forehead.
"Happy Mother's Day." Celia beamed brightly at her mom.
Patrick smiled. "We should get in there Merle eats everything."
"Yeah, I'm starving." She held the dish close. "I'm going to put this in my room then I'll join you guys."
Patrick carried Celia into the dining room, Iris hurried to put the dish in her room then back to join them, and she hadn't missed anything. They were waiting on her, and she apologized. Everyone waved it away, and they began to eat, asking how Andrea and Carol's spa day was.
"I feel great, but at the time, I felt like human sushi." Andrea handed the bowl of potatoes to Iris. "I'll take you next year. It's...interesting."
"I'd love that." She set the bowl down and spooned some out. "I don't want the mud bath. Sophia tried to talk me into doing that, but if I wanted to play in mud, I'd go outside."
"It was clay," Sophia argued.
"Not worth it."
"I think we'll stick to something simple," Andrea told her, "when we go."
She nodded. "I'd like that. I'm not big on boiling rocks or whatever on my back. Or needles."
"If you want something simple, you can do it here," Patrick commented.
"You do give good massages." She rested her chin in her hand. "A home spa day sounds fun, but the clean up will be agony. I'm already too lazy to clean up my own things."
"You do all right with Celia's."
"Yeah, but I don't mind doing that. When it's my own stuff, it's like the biggest hassle in the world. I'd rather have all my teeth pulled out than clean my own things up." She leaned closer and murmured, "You'll find out."
He smiled. "I already know. You do the same thing when you stay over at my place."
"It's your aunt's."
"Not for long."
"What's with the whispering?" Carol teased. "More surprises, or secrets?"
"Neither." Iris laughed nervously. "It's just...dinner plans for tomorrow night."
They began to talk about other things, Iris made sure Celia had enough to eat, and Carol and Andrea both eyed their daughters. Sophia was too quiet, lost in thought, and Carol wondered what she was thinking about. It wasn't like Sophia to be so silent. She knew something was bothering her. She hoped it wasn't the money they'd spent on them for Mother's Day. She worried that it wasn't that at all, and there was another issue that Sophia had been keeping quiet about. She wouldn't say anything. Sophia clearly didn't want to talk about it today. She'd wait until their lunch tomorrow.
As for Iris, she appeared to be hiding something. Andrea noticed how Iris wouldn't look up from her plate, and she was pushing her food around. That wasn't like her. She wasn't the type to play with her food unless she was hiding something. She knew it wasn't a pregnancy, so she suspected it was her moving out. She likely felt guilty for keeping it a secret. Or maybe she just wasn't sure if she should move or not. Andrea would tell her know it was okay without letting her know she knew. She wanted Iris to move on with her life, and they'd been through so much together, Andrea didn't want to be the reason she held back.
"I'd like to say a toast." Andrea stood up. "I'd like to thank my lovely daughter and Sophia for taking the time to plan all of this. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, as I'm sure Carol did. It was thoughtful and unexpected in the best way, like our little Celia here and Riley. You outdid yourselves, and it makes me thankful to have such amazing people in my life. Today prove that. I don't know what I'd do without you." She met her daughter's eyes. "I love you all, and this was one of the best Mother's Day."
"Well, it was one of the best for one of the best mom's." Iris rose and hugged her mom. "I love you too."
"And here I thought this couldn't get any more holiday special," Merle muttered.
"We're trying our best for you." Sophia grinned.
"You've succeeded. I'm out."
They laughed, Andrea and Iris retook their seats and dinner resumed. There wasn't a moment of silence among them, simply laughter and light conversation. Iris made use of the camera and snapped had few dozen great pictures. She couldn't wait to develop them and look back at the pictures twenty years from now. It was the best Mother's Day. Until they managed to top it.
– – –
Sophia couldn't make lunch. Riley had an ear infection, so Daryl had to take him to the doctor's, but he had car troubles. Sophia had to take them, because Carol's phone was dead and she wasn't in her office. She was trying to help with the big project Axel was working on. Thus Sophia swung by for dinner. They didn't talk much, and Sophia helped Daryl with the dishes.
"Riley's in bed," Carol whispered. "Want to have a cup of hot chocolate on the back porch?"
"Sure." She set the dishtowel down and hugged her dad goodnight.
"Get home safe." He released her. "Night."
"Night." She pulled out a pan to warm the milk in. "Busy day?"
"Very." She found Sophia's favorite cup and poured in the packets of hot chocolate. "How was the doctor's?"
"Long. I spent an hour trying to find things wrongs in those magazines for little kids. It was...really boring, but Riley's feeling better. That's all that matters."
"Did you miss any classes?"
"Yeah, I have a friend in that class. She'll let me borrow her notes." She leaned against the counter as her mom prepared the hot chocolate. "How was your day with Axel?"
"I lent him a hand is all. I wish had charged my phone this morning, but I forgot. Riley kept me up last night."
"I know how that feels." She smiled a little. "Celia could—and probably still can—wail like a banshee sometimes. Babysitting her isn't a simple job."
Carol returned her smile, and soon the hot chocolate was done. They curled up on the bench outside, the sounds of crickets and bugs wrapping around them in the darkness, and Carol lit a few candles to give them more light. The moon was hidden by the clouds, but it was a lovely evening.
"So..." Sophia stared at her mug. "I need to talk to you."
"What about?" Carol frowned when Sophia wouldn't look at her. "Do you need something? Do you need money for school? Gas? Food? You know you can just ask. If you need it—"
"No, no. I'm set financially. Well, for this week anyway." She cleared her throat and slowly lifted her eyes. "I need to talk to you about...Ed."
"Oh." Carol lowered her cup from her mouth and gazed at her daughter with wide eyes. "I—I'm sorry. I didn't expect you to bring him up after all this time."
"Yeah, I know. It's been about eight or nine years." She moved hair from her face. "Why did you stay with him for ten years? Why didn't you leave sooner?"
Carol blinked. "Why didn't I leave sooner?"
"Yes. Merle...told me reasons he thought you had, and they do make sense. However if they are your reasons like he says he thinks they are then..." Even in the dim candlelight, Carol could see the tears in her eyes. "Is it my fault?"
"What?"
"Is it my fault that you stayed with him? Did you stay so you could keep me fed and clothed and have a warm bed to sleep in?" Her voice broke. "He said there weren't any other options for you, and you only stayed because of me. That would make it my fault."
"Sophia, no. God, no, don't ever think that." She reached over and took her hand. "I stayed, because I was too afraid to be alone. I twisted his words and actions to try and convince myself that it would get better, that he did love me, that the beatings would stop. It was stupid, but I clung to that for years. When I had you...I did what I had to do to keep you safe, but you weren't. I tried to find an out when you were five, but I couldn't. I tried so many times, but they all backfired, and I gave up. For years, I gave up.
"Then I found the shelter. I wanted to provide you with a good life—a life free from my mistakes. That's why I didn't let that opportunity pass by. I almost went back, because...after so many years of convincing myself that Ed loved me, that it would be okay, that the pain would end... It was easier to convince myself than to force myself to erase all of that. I had deluded myself, and undoing that was arduous, but I managed to." She searched her eyes. "It was my own fault for staying, and it was Ed's for hurting me. You were never to blame."
Her tears ran over. "It wasn't my fault?"
"God, no. I wish you never had that thought." She squeezed her fingers. "You were the reason I got out of bed every morning. You kept me going, and you still do. You're the best thing that's happened to me, Sophia. I love you. I could never blame you. Unless it was something you actually did—like trying to use the blender to blend my broken watch."
She laughed and shuddered. "I want to start to see Espinosa again."
"Okay. I'll go with you if you want."
"Just the first time." She set her cup on the table behind her and curled against her mom, tears still sliding down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and buried her face in her palms.
Carol smoothed her hair down. "What happened with Ed...was never on you. It was on me and him."
Sophia shook her head. "No, it was his fault. He...shouldn't have hurt you like he did. You were never to blame. You're a survivor, and he's gone. He's dead."
Carol smiled and kissed her forehead. "A survivor, huh?"
She nodded. "Rosita and Merle helped me see things in a different light," she murmured. "Without hating myself or blaming myself."
"Hating yourself?"
She snuffled. "I know it'll take time to...undo that hate, but I'll get through it." She inhaled. "I wish I would have talked to you a long time ago."
"Why didn't you?"
"I was afraid it'd be true." She wiped the corners of her eye. "That you would blame me deep down, that you might even hate me for not trying to get help."
"Sophia, I could never. You were a child, and it was your job to grow up. That's all," she remarked.
"I know, but it doesn't make it any easier. Acknowledging the problem is only part of the recovery."
"That's true, but...I think it'll be a quick recovery." She brushed hair from her face and smiled down at her. "You're the daughter of two survivors; I know you'll be okay in time."
Sophia smiled back at her mom. She noticed then the happiness in her mom's eyes. She had seen it often in her smile and heard it in her laugh, but she knew it was genuine when she saw it in her eyes. She had seen many emotions in her mom's eyes, but rarely this one when she was a child. It had changed that night at the shelter due to a candy bar and a red bandanna. She hoped to find that light in her own eyes some day, when she finally washed her hands from her past. She didn't know why couldn't shake it. Perhaps it was due to ignoring the root of the problem. She knew it didn't matter. Only getting over it did. It would take work. Hating herself seemed as natural to her as falling asleep. She wondered why it was so effortless to hate yourself. She prayed escaping this hate would be simple and hasty.
"Hey, Mom?" Sophia asked once calm and after a moment of almost pure silence.
"Hmm?"
"Am I too old you sleep with you guys?"
"Yes."
She laughed. "I figured."
"But you can sleep in your old room tonight."
She checked her watch. "It's late. I should get home."
"Are you feeling better?"
"A little. I'm kinda tired too, so I should go now." She sat up. "Walk me to my car?"
She nodded. "Take your cup inside, please."
They headed into the house, the empty cups were placed in the sink, and Carol walked Sophia to her car. She hugged her goodbye and watched her back out of the driveway. She heaved a sigh and prayed that Sophia never felt that way again. She would ask her about it, see how far she's come since tonight, in the future.
"It's late."
She turned at the sound of her husband's voice. "Then why are you up?"
"Needed some water." He grasped her hand and guided her inside the house. "Is Sophia okay?"
"Yeah. She will be."
He closed the door and locked it. "Anythin' I should worry about?"
She smiled. "No."
"You sure?" He wrapped his arms around her waist.
"I am." She tilted her head to the side. "I'll tell you about it later."
He nodded and studied her silently.
"What?" Carol searched his eyes.
"Nothin'." He smiled a little. "Just...keep catchin' myself."
"What does that mean?"
"Just real grateful to have all of this." He cupped her cheek. Sometimes he'd find himself just watching her and Riley, or Sophia and Riley, or Iris, Sophia and Riley and wonder how this worked out like it did. He was somewhat scared of losing it, but he was too...happy to be bothered by it. He had another chance to be a father, to make up for what he'd missed with Iris. He was the father of three, a grandfather and a husband. He had a job that he liked and was building it with his brother. He didn't think he'd ever have this. It seemed always out of his reach, and he gave up on this, but here it was. It had...found him. "It's a weird feelin', but I like it."
She grinned at the look in his eyes. "You're adorable."
He flushed. "How?"
"You just are." She leaned up and kissed him. "I love you."
"I love you too." He brushed his forehead against hers. "Let's get to bed."
"Before your son wakes us in a few hours?"
"Yeah." He halted. "Why is he only my son when he wakes us up at three or four in the morning?"
She simply smiled sweetly and pulled him upstairs.
"That ain't an answer."
"I know."
"It's your turn."
"No, it's yours. I just helped our daughter through a crisis."
"She wanted to talk to you, not me."
"I did my mom thing late at night, so it's your turn."
"That's shit."
She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'll make it up to you. You take Riley tonight, and I'll take him tomorrow so you can nap at your desk."
He groaned.
"I thought you loved being a parent."
"Yeah, just like sleep a bit more."
She smiled. "You'll survive."
He grasped her hips and walked her to the bed. "So, you'll make it up to me?"
"Yes."
"All right."
Daryl climbed into bed to get some sleep while Carol changed. She caught a glimpse of the family pictures. Daryl didn't want to do them, but Iris and Carol did. She'd never done a family picture before, and she didn't have any pictures of all of them. It was hectic. Sophia was late, Celia didn't want to smile, and Riley kept trying to pull Daryl's hair. It took half an hour for Sophia to arrive, Iris had to bribe Celia to the smile, and Sophia let Riley tug on her braid. Carol felt so bad and apologized to the photographer. The pictures came out nice, and they had to take new ones with Andrea and Shane in a month. No one was looking forward to it. She loved her family, but good God they were a handful.
She never thought she'd have three kids. She thought Sophia would be her only child, and she didn't mind it. She practically co-raised Iris after she and Andrea became friends, and she was left here with Sophia some days over the summer. She liked having the girls in the house, keep each other company and to keep Honey active. Now she had both of the girls and Riley. It was amazing some days, and a nightmare others. Sophia and Iris were good big sisters, and they helped out when they could. Iris felt obligated as Daryl and Carol had aided her so often with Celia. Their granddaughter. God, her family was only increasing, and she couldn't be happier. She'd always wanted to be surrounded by family, and now she was. She couldn't enter a room without being with someone she loved. She was grateful that the worst days of her life were over and the good days, the best days, were so plenty.
She flicked the bathroom light off and slipped into bed. She cuddled up next to Daryl, he shifted in his sleep, moving so that she could lay her head on his shoulder. She smiled slightly and buried her face in his chest, drifting off.
– – –
"We should start packing," Patrick told Iris, who was lying in his arms, staring at the walls. "Celia's already claimed the big box we were going to use for your bedding. It's her kingdom now."
"I know we have to get moving, but...I haven't even told my mom yet." She rolled onto her side. "How can I just let her walk in here and see us packing?"
"Well, we could stop by her office. I'll take Celia to get some ice cream, and you can talk to her." He searched her eyes. "Or are you going to make me sleep alone in an empty apartment until you're ready to tell her?"
She sighed. "Okay. I already packed my clothes when we were cleaning out for the yard sale. It's on Thursday. If you have anything your aunt left that you don't want, we can try and sell it."
He nodded. "I'll work on the bookshelf."
"I have a princess to negotiate with."
It took only five minutes to get Celia out of the box, Patrick loaded the smaller boxes with her books and movies, and Celia jumped on the bed once it was stripped of its sheets and blankets. Iris made sure to grab the other set of sheets and taped the box up. She wrote in marker what it was and began to collect her lamp and candles. She would be out by tonight. She'd been delaying the inevitable for her mom's sake and a little bit of her own, but today was the day.
"You don't have a lot of stuff." Patrick closed the truck. "I thought you had more."
"Well, we're taking the dressers and the beds. I'll called Dad and ask him to lend us a hand."
"Which Dad?"
"Shane. He has a truck, and my other dad's probably asleep." She puffed up her cheeks with air then released it. "Do I have to tell my mom? Can't I just write a letter?"
"Iris, it won't be that bad. You said she might already know."
"Yeah, but now she'll definitely know."
"You can do this. I'll get Celia and head over to the apartment to unload. If you need us, call." He kissed her and shuffled toward the house to get their daughter.
She climbed into her car and drove to her mom's office. She wanted to take her sweet time, but Mom had a meeting at five. She didn't want to cut into that, and she had to drop this load of boxes off at the apartment and come back for the others. It would only take two trips with both of their cars, and Dad would have to get the last three things. If he couldn't, Iris could ask to borrow his car to haul them over to the apartment.
She spent ten minutes trying to work up the courage to walk into the building where her mom worked. She finally managed to and let herself in her mom's office, seeing she wasn't with anyone. She could still be busy. Iris should come back tomorrow when she wasn't so swamped.
"Iris." Andrea smiled with mild confusion. "What are you doing here?"
"I—I need to talk to you. I'm not interrupting, am I?"
"No." She motioned for her to enter and rose. "What do you want to talk about?"
"I think you might already know." She approached her desk. "Don't you?"
"You're moving out." It wasn't a question.
"Today."
"Today?"
"Yeah, Patrick's there now with Celia. He's unloading my things. We moved his in last week." She moistened her lips. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner. Patrick wanted to, but I couldn't. I remember what you said on the porch, and I felt...guilty."
"Why would you feel guilty?"
"I dunno."
"Well, stop. I know you need to do this, and I'm proud of you for doing this. It was hard to think about in the beginning, but it's not so much anymore." She smiled. "Do you need any help?"
"Moving our beds and dresser, but I'm gonna ask Dad. It doesn't have to be now. It can be when he gets off work."
She nodded. "If you need me, you know where to find me."
"Um, we'll have you guys over once it's all set up. We still have to get some furniture. We have this antique coffee table Anna left us, but that's pretty much it. It's why I wanted money. We need a couch."
"Do you want the one in our room?"
"No. I like it, but it's not the most comfortable couch."
She nodded. "I'll never be rid of that thing."
Iris laughed. "Just take it to the dump when Dad's at work."
"I might."
"I—I have boxes in my car, and I shouldn't let Patrick do all the heavy lifting." She pulled out a smile.
"All right. Be careful with those boxes, please."
"I will." She hugged her mom. "I'll see you later."
She gave a nod and watched her daughter leave. She sank down in her chair and buried her face in her hands, exhaling deeply. She remained like that for a minute before dropping her hands and returning to work. She had a lot to get done today. Her daughter moving out didn't change that.
––
"Do you like it?" Iris sat on the floor with Celia in her new bedroom. "We have more unpacking to do, but do you like it so far?"
Celia ran her eyes over the room. "I wanna go home."
"This is our home." She pulled Celia into her lap. "You'll see Grandma and Grandpa often, I promise. And now Daddy's right down the hall with me."
Celia pouted nonetheless.
"Aunt Sophia and Enid are right next door. You can visit them any time." She hugged her tighter. "I know it's a big change, but we can make it work. Dad and I will be with you every night, and your grandparents will be come over sometimes. They might bring gifts."
"When will they come next?"
"Tomorrow night. They're joining us for dinner."
"What's for dinner?"
"I don't. Probably pizza, if Patrick doesn't have anything planned."
She huffed. "Okay."
"You'll like it." She kissed her temple. "I know you will."
Shane appeared in the doorway. "Do you need any more help?"
"Nope, we've got it under control, but thanks, Dad."
"Well, I have to get going. It's getting late, and Andrea will be home soon. I want to be there for her."
She climbed to her feet and embraced him. "Thank you for the help. I really appreciate it, Dad."
"It's what I'm here for." He rubbed her back. "I look forward to seeing this place all made up."
"Mmm, me too." She let him go.
He said goodbye to Celia, giving her a hug, and he waved to Patrick before leaving. Iris joined him in the kitchen and unpacked the few cups and plates Anna had left behind for them, and Celia wandered the apartment.
"So, how do you think she likes it?" Patrick whispered.
"Not so much." Iris closed the cabinets. "It'll take time, but we'll adjust."
"Yeah." He set his hand over hers on the counter. "You okay?"
"Uh-huh." She even smiled. "It's...not as difficult as I thought it'd be. I always make things worse in my head."
"I told you."
"I bet Mom's happy to have all that space. She can have her guest bedroom back. Dad and I are making my old room into a home office for her. Her current one is practically in a broom closet. She had to give her actual office up for Celia's room. She wanted to, even though I told her I was fine having her in my room. I had the space. But you know my mom."
"Yeah, she pretty much always gets her way."
"Yeah." She hopped up on the counter. "She'll like it when we're done. It's a birthday surprise."
"Speaking of office, there's a space in our room I'd like to put a small desk. For homework and such."
"You're such an honor student."
"That's the worst insult you've said yet."
"It wasn't an insult." She placed a kiss on his lips then slid back and off the counter from the other side. "I'm going to unload the bathroom stuff. Mostly because I have to pee."
"I'm going call my aunt and let her know we're moved."
"Have fun."
"You too."
– – –
It was nine o' clock, the house was eerily silent, and Andrea frowned. She toddled up the stairs and to Iris' old bedroom. She entered and found it was mostly bare. She saw a few notes on the remaining items and how Andrea could keep them or put them in the yard sale. She would get rid of them. It was mostly junk. She wrapped her arms around herself and stood just inside the door. She remembered moving in here, and it felt like yesterday.
Iris was thrilled to be away from Phillip. She wasn't thrilled that Andrea bought the house without showing her it first, but she did love it once she saw it. It was a spacious house, but they filled it with so many memories. Those fives years before she told Daryl who Iris was to him were amazing. She and Iris were on their own for the first time since Andrea met Phillip. It was like old times, only Iris wasn't trying to found out who she had been. She was trying to figure out who she was now. They fought a bit, but parents and kids fight. They always made up too. Even when it came to their biggest fight, they reconciled.
Streams of moonlight flooded in from the windows, no curtains were hung to hold the light back. A blue tint had engulfed the room, and the room had adopted an empty atmosphere. Almost a cold one, and it caused a shudder to run through Andrea. It reminded her of their first night here. Iris was running around her room for no real reason, half dancing to music and half setting up her room. She was a goofy child. Andrea was sure she'd gotten that from her birth mother. Daryl didn't have a silly bone in his body, and Andrea rarely was goofy with Iris. She was glad to see some of Celia's better traits bleed through.
She blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over, and she heard someone enter the room. She was enveloped by her husband's arms and warmth, and she closed her eyes.
"She's really gone."
He kissed the back of her head. "Yeah."
"I hate empty rooms."
He turned her in his arms. "She likes her new apartment."
"I'm glad."
He smoothed her hair down. "Andrea, Iris is gone now. You don't have to hold it in for her sake."
She shivered. "I don't know why I'm so upset." She opened her eyes, tears falling free. "She's all grown up and able to support herself. That's a parent's dream."
"I think it's more of realizin' she doesn't need you, not as much as she used to." He'd admit it would be strange to walk down the hall and not see Iris getting ready for school or hear Celia's morning cartoons. He couldn't imagine walking by and seeing the office he and Iris were going to set up for Andrea's birthday. He knew he would adjust to the vacant room then to the office, but for now, it was like exposing a fresh wound. Iris was his daughter too, and she had taken a huge step today. He'd helped, but there was pit in his chest now. He suspected he'd buried it so she would have an easier time leaving home.
Andrea squeezed her eyes shut and smiled a sad smile. Her formerly reckless, immature and potty mouth daughter had left home. Andrea knew she had the skills to live on her own with Celia. She knew that Patrick would be there with her. Iris was in good hands, and it was all right. She felt a weight on her chest, just like the one when felt when she thought she'd never have a child, and she knew in time it would fade. But right now, it was still fresh and the life her daughter and granddaughter had poured into here was nowhere to be found, and that chilled her to the bone.
– – –
"So, we have an extra tonight." Iris sat on the edge of the tub while Patrick brushed his teeth. "Celia wants to shack up with us, and I didn't say no."
"It's fine for tonight." He spat out toothpaste. "But not every night. She has her own bed."
"I know. I know. You're the softy here." She hopped up. "She called dibs on the left side."
"I sleep on the left."
"Not tonight. Unless you want to move her then go ahead." She slid by him and crawled into bed. She and Patrick agreed to take her bed since it was newer, and his might have been left at Anna's apartment. He never told her what he did with it. Huh. "Are you comfy?"
"Yeah." Celia was stretched out on the bed.
"Scoot." Patrick set his glasses on the nightstand.
"Wait, me scoot?" Iris asked.
"Yes."
"You sleep on the left, not me."
"I can't sleep in the middle. I feel trapped, and I panic."
She rolled her eyes but slid over. "Happy now?"
"Yeah." He lied down and rolled onto his side. "Do you want us to read you a story, honey?"
"Her books are in her room," Iris murmured. "I'm comfortable, so you'll have to get it."
"We'll make one up, if we have too."
Celia didn't answer them, so they looked over to see she'd already fallen asleep. She must have worn herself out running around the new apartment to check everything out. Iris was thankful, because Celia liked to look at the pictures, and she wasn't getting up. She was comfortable and warm, and that was rare to happen so quickly. If she moved, she'd be uncomfortable for the rest of the night. Thank God Celia liked to run.
Iris snuggled up with her pillow. "Good night, Patrick."
He pushed the corner of her pillow down. "This is our first night here together."
She reached over and ran her fingers through his hair. "It is."
He caught her hand and held it. "Good night, Iris."
She closed her eyes as exhaustion settled in, numbing her of emotions and pulling her down in a deep sleep. She felt Patrick's lips on her knuckles before he rolled over. The room filled with soft breathing as they dreamed.
––
"You'll see her on Tuesdays?" Carl asked.
"Yes." Sophia nodded. "Mom and she both think it wouldn't take much to alleviate the emotions I've bottled up since I was little. I don't know if they're right, but I hope so."
"Listen to what she told you." He pushed himself up into a sitting position on her bed. "No amount of guilt can change the past."
"I know." She removed her earrings and necklace. "I think I'm ready to let go of it. Talking through it seems like the right thing to do, and Rosita helps. She gives me this entirely new opinion I never would have thought of."
"That's good. I'm glad you're feeling better."
She closed her bedroom door and removed her shoes. "I'm so tired. That run did me in."
"Why do you run? You always say how tired you are from running."
"I like it. Enid and I get to go out and run or jog for an hour or so, and it's...calming. Especially before bed." She removed her pants and set them on the hamper. "You should try it."
"Maybe tomorrow night."
"You said that last night, and you didn't come." She changed into her night shirt and set her hair tie on the nightstand. "You were in track too."
"I had a big and late dinner. I would have barfed it all over the road."
"I'll cook for you tomorrow, and we'll go." She straddled his lap and laced her fingers together behind his neck. "There is no escaping your fate, Carl Grimes."
"Who says I'm trying to escape?" He tipped his head back, and she kissed him.
"Hey." She met his eyes. "Thank you for being so supportive."
"I'm here for you." He smiled at her. "And your awesome shower."
"About that, Enid will kill you if you use up all the hot water. She has an internship interview or first day tomorrow. You can shower once she leaves."
"All right, but do you have any shampoo that doesn't smell like pina colada?"
"No."
He sighed. "I guess I'll have to suffer."
"Poor you, using up all of my shampoo and conditioner."
"You can use mine when you stay over. I've told you."
"No, thanks. I like mine. It's like if you used my toothbrush."
"Right..." His face betrayed him.
"Carl Grimes, have you used my toothbrush?"
"Once, but I thought it was mine. I was barely awake, and it looked red."
She cringed. "At least I just bought a new one."
"You're so weird."
"Well, you're a little gross to have used my toothbrush."
"More than once too, and I didn't die. Holy crap."
"Shut up." She smacked his arm and moved onto the bed. "I like my toothbrush to only ever be in my mouth. Okay? Is that too much to ask?"
"Fine. I'm sorry."
"Thank you." She pulled back the covers. "I have to work in the morning, so I need some sleep."
He flicked the light off and slid his arms around her once she was lying down. "Good night."
She buried her face in her pillows with a repressed smile. One day she'd live without these feelings. She'd be herself again. She honestly couldn't wait for that day. She was happy with her life, but these feelings brought her down too often. When they were gone, she wouldn't let them come back. Carl was right. She needed to listen to Rosita. No amount of guilt can change the past. Wise words, and she would listen to them. "Night."
– – –
Carol, Daryl, Honey and Riley sat outside on the porch. It was going on eight in the morning. Riley had woken them up early, so they decided to simply stay up. Honey wanted to fresh air, and Carol thought Riley could use some too. Daryl put on some coffee, and they came outside to sit.
"Do you ever think about what he'll be like?" Carol drank from her cup of coffee as Daryl held their son.
"Sometimes."
"What do you think about?" She searched his eyes and the tips of his ears reddened. "You don't have to be embarrassed."
"I ain't. Just silly thoughts, is all." He cleared his throat. "I heard about Axel."
"Did you? How?"
"I ran into him when I brought you Riley's bag." He smiled a little. "He seems happy."
"He does." Carol returned it. "I think they'll be great together."
"Gonna miss him?"
"Yeah. He's a good friend." She drank from her cup again. "I hope he'll come back to visit. Or calls, even."
"He's pretty shit at keeping in contact with people."
"He is."
"I told him goodbye since I won't see him before he leaves."
"Which is today, I believe."
"Do you wanna go to the shelter?"
She shook her head. "I said my goodbyes, and he isn't a fan of them anyway. We gave him a card all the kids and staff signed, some homemade goodies and a couple of goodbyes hugs. That was enough for me."
He nodded. "I think back to a few years ago, and...heh, I was jealous to the point of being irrational."
"Yes, you were."
"I couldn't help it. I'd been used to losin' things, so I assumed you'd be one of 'em." He peeked at her face. "I was wrong. Damn glad I was too."
She smiled. "Watch your language. I let the first one slid, but stop."
"Sorry." He smirked. "I never would've thought workin' at that shelter would have changed my life so much."
"I never thought I'd meet my husband in an empty bathroom," she agreed. "Because of a candy bar falling."
"I never even ate it."
"You didn't?"
"I gave it to one of the kids."
"Why?"
"It wasn't the one I wanted. The machine froze or just ate my money, so I shook it and the wrong one dropped. It'd been a bad day already."
"Mine had been too. It was one of the more stressful days of my life." She reached over and brushed aside the light hairs from Riley's forehead. "It led to the best days of my life, so I'll let it slide."
"Rarely a dull moment around here," he stated. "When do we get to just rest?"
"Oh, when we're dead." She smirked. "Until then we have to raise our son and give life advise to our daughters who will ignore us and then talk them through the repercussions. You have your business, and we have Merle's new relationship, which we're probably give him counsel on every day."
"Sounds about right."
"I wonder how Merle's date went."
"It went. He thinks he blew it, but he thinks that about everythin'." Daryl took the cup of coffee and carefully handed Riley over to her. "He'll stop by sometime this afternoon to ask you for advise."
"Why me?"
He shrugged. "You'd have to ask him."
"He should talk to Karen. She's the one with the long marriage and two kids. She's his family now too."
"Yeah, I'm sure he'll get right on that."
"Asshole." She stuck her tongue out at him.
"Language," he replied.
She laughed. "It's my first offense, so it also gets to slide."
"My kid's gonna learn terrible things from you."
"Your kid?"
"I'm the one who went to him first, so yeah, mine."
She didn't bother replying to that. She scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder, feeling Riley swatting at her necklace, and she exhaled. "Do you still have that red bandanna?"
"Upstairs. Why?"
"I was just curious."
"It's kinda worn now, so I don't carry it with me. Sophia got me a new one."
"Mmm, the black one?"
"Yeah." He drained the rest of the coffee and set the empty cup on the table. "Wonder what she'll get me for Father's Day?"
"You'll like it."
"Will I?"
"Yes. It's...the perfect gift."
"You know what it is?"
"And I'm not telling." She smirked. "You'll just have to wait."
"I can wait, just...curious now." He leaned over and scratched behind Honey's ears as she plopped down in front of the bench. "Well, just how is it the perfect gift?"
"Daryl, I'm not giving you hints."
"Only gotta wait a month. That isn't too long."
The pressing stopped there, Daryl rubbed Honey's back and belly, chuckling at how goofy she was. He'd never had any pets as a kid, but if he did, he'd have loved a dog like Honey. She was a good girl, and he was glad Sophia had grown up with her. He was glad that Riley would have the old girl there for him too. She already favored him too. Possibly more than Carol or Sophia combined. Maybe she just liked babies. She was just as protective of Celia too.
He glanced over and smiled at the sight. Carol had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder, Riley tightly wrapped in her arms, and he leaned back. He slid his arms around hers to support Riley, and he shifted so Carol could lean against him even more. It was no surprise she was so tired. He woke up to tend to Riley, but Riley mostly wanted Carol in the morning. He knew it was her voice. No matter what time it was, she always spoke with a gentle tone. It was soothing. In the early morning, Daryl sounded like a damn grizzly bear, and it made him cry more. He couldn't blame Riley. Daryl liked her company more too.
Riley was calm in their overlapped arms, and he was sucking on Carol's necklace. Daryl kept an eye on him to make sure he didn't somehow swallow it. He knew if he took it from him, he'd get fussy, and he wanted Carol to enjoy her nap. He knew it wouldn't last long, but even a few minutes could do her some good. He pressed his lips to the back of her head and held her close. The woman he loved more than anything, his son and his big, fuzzy, drooling protector were all he could see. He knew no matter what came next, he was ready for it. Growing old together with someone he loved and watching their kids move forward were things he never thought he could have, (him or anybody that didn't live in a movie) and he caught him thinking about that all the time. Life had been shit for so long, but through all of that shit he found his chance at happiness. It astonished him every day that he found it.
Riley began to make cooing noises and was reaching up for his mom, a sign he knew meant Riley was hungry, and Daryl sighed. So much for a nap.
Sorry for the late posting. I meant to publish this early this morning, but plans intervened. I hope all you amazing mothers had a wonderful Mother's Day, and all the non-mothers had a great day too!
