Feminist Bioshock

or

Jaclyn's Adventures in Rapture

or

bioshock me virgin

(Edit: Me povv redder diesited to not only porvv red me storee but also me a/n's)

a/n First off, I want to introduce myself. My name is Astrid Erikkson, I'm a big fan of Anita Sharkeesian, and a proud feminist who believes womyn need to be more representeddededed in vidya gaems. Frankly, I don't play vidya gaems, but since I want to become a vidya delevop so I can spread our message aboot womyns rights. Plus my mysogginistic brother mansplained to me that I need to play vidya before so I can be 'familiarized' with the industry. In other words, he expects womyn to do all the work! Misogynistic pig, just like all men.

So he gave me a copy of this extremely biggotededed game called Bioshock. Anita Sharkeisha was right, vidya are sexyst! After playing it, I was traumatized by how much bigotry there was, so much so that I now have to visit a therypist. (I don't spell it like 'therapist' because it looks like the word, 'rapist') SO YEAH, FUCK YOU, KEN LEVINE! I SHOULD NOT ONLY SUE YOU, BUT ALSO 2K FOR WHAT YOU FUCKERS DID TO ME! OHUZSDFGL;JHGRZAS;GSZ;ZG Okay, I'm done. So after playing through this violence-against-women simulat-I mean, 'game', I decided to write my own version that's more progressive, diverse and less offensive. Get with the times, assholes. Hope you like it. And remember, don't flame it, or you a bigot.

a/n 2 sorries that me spelling and grammers was bad, engrish is not fist language cuz me from sweden!

a/n 3 TRIGGER WARNING THIS FIC CONTAINS MYSOGGYKNEE, RAPE, SEXISM, RACISM, HOMOPHOBIA, TRAINSPHOBIA MANSPLAINING, MANSPREADING, AND FUCKING MEN PIGS!

Chapter 1: Down the Rabbit Hole. (Ew, not that way you pervs!)

My name is Jaclyn, (NOT JACK BECAUSE NOT HAVING A WOMYN AS A LEAD PLAYER CHARACTER IS MISOGYNISTICAL AND SEXIST!) and my mom told me that I was special and that I was born to do great things. Not my dad though, because he's a misogynistic pig! AAAAAAANYWAY SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN, she was right. Now I was on a plane in 1960. That was like, the worst time to be a womyn because it was really sexy back then! Anyway, I was on a plane, and those misogynistic engines decided two choke out and the plane crashed in the ocean and every one died! Except for me of course, because I'm a womyn.

I was drowning in the ocean because the sexist water was trying to rape my lungs, but luckily for me me was able to swim to a very scary looking lighthouse. me was cold so me deside to taek shellter in lighthose. when me went in me the saw the lights turn on me saw big room with lights turn on and me saw this big statues of this misogynistic looking man pig shitlord! with this big red banner in say yellow riding:

"NO GODS OR KINGS. ONLY MAN."

'My Goddess' i say 'Did he just say 'kings and man instead of monarch and people!? THAT'S SEXISTS!' me were triggers

me try to tear down banner but me sexist arms were too short. me try to jump but gravity was being sexist as usual so i gave him the bird and proceed down the stares and got into this big spear shape sub. (that mean submarine not sub as in sandwich) and cloths door. me pull lever and the sub submergged down into ocean. than old progection screan lit up amd a picture of the same shitlord from statue cam up. he was in an armchare and smocking a pipe!

'OH MY GOD, THAT PIPE IS A SYMBOL OF THE PATRIARCHY!'

I bellowed, before hearing a voice mansplain.

"I am Andrew Ryan, and I have a question for you. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No', says the man in-"

'OMFG' me screemed 'he still use male pronouns! FUCK YOU SHITLORD!'

''No', says the man in Moscow, 'it belongs to everyone.''

'But communism is awesome!' I interupted again 'Everyone get paid equal!'

a/n SHOUT OUT TO KARL MARX! HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS! YOU'RE MY HERO!

'Would you let me finish my badass, pre-recorded introduction aboot Rapture? This is really important and epic!' the shitlord mansplained.

'Ugh, fine' I groined.

'I rejected all of this bullshit and decided to choose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... RAPTURE! Dun dun dun!'

and the progestion screen move away to show a misogynistic looking city.

'yawn' i said 'a city at the bottom of ocean. ridiculous'

'OH FUCK U!' mansplained the shitlord 'ANYWAY a city where the artist would not fear the censors. Where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality. Where the big would not be constrained by the small. And the sweat of your brow, Rapture can be your city as well'

'BLAH BLAH BLAH! STOP MANSPAINING ME KNOW ABOUT RAPTURE M PLAYYED THE GAME!' ME SCREEM

'THEN THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING!?'

'FUCK THIS!'

i was board and tire of his mansplaining so i turn off the audio.

'GLAD THAT SHIT OVER'

ME WAS (oh sorry forgot to turn off capslock) me was floating thrugh the city and whent thru the circular looking docking bay and to the entrance.

then me herd this sexy voice from the radio next to me.

'that light house is lit up like hell fire. Looks like a plane crash.'

'A plane?' said another voice 'Awesome, your plan worked, Fon-!'

'STFU I THINK SHE CAN HEAR US' the first voice shouted.

'Oh, sorry Fon- I mean, Atlas!' replied the other voice, I meant, gwhat r u talking aboot? we r in the middle of the atlantic ocean! how could-'

'OMFG I KNOW RIGHT? NOW GET UR ASS OVER THERE AND BE QUICK ABOOT IT!'

da door opened me whent in when da water rolled of me could see this pitful locking misogynistic looking man pig being attack by a spider woman!'

'No.. please' he whimpers like a little bitch because he's a man and all men are pussies LOL 'don't kill me, I'm just an innocent pathetic little bitch of man plz!'

she didn't lissen and she slit his trout with her meat hook and he dead

'YOU GO GURLLLLL!' I cheered.

'Is it someone new?' she asked.

'Nah, I've a played this vidya before.' That was me who said that btw.

'Oh ok' she replied and walked away.

'JOHNNY!' the same sexy sonding man (not man pig cause he's sexy). He has sexy irish accents and that mayd my

'GOD DAMN SPLOICERS!' he screamed cause he was angry that the spider sploicer killed his man pig friend.

'Why you angry?' I asked.

'BECAUSE THEY KILL JOHNNY AND NOW HE DEAD' the sexy AF man said

'who johnny' me said

'THE GUY YOU SAW DIE JUST NOW!' he screamed.

'Who?'

'Oh fuck it' he face palm 'I'm Atlantis and I'm here to keep you alive.

Then I became enraged 'FUCK U ME NO NEED MAN TO MANSPLAIN ME HOW TWO GET ALIVE! ME WOMYN!'

'Ow, moi fooking ears! Ok I'm sorry. Also, why do you spell 'women' like that?'

'BECAUSE THAT'S CORECT WAY TWO SPELL IT U SHITLORD!'

'Fuck this. Would you kindly pick up that ham radio next two you.'

'Why u in there?'

'Ryan put me in there because I was naughty because I started a revolution because Ryan was being asshole because Ryan donut give fuck aboot workers and poor because he's the poster child for objectivism and probably mastabates to Ayn Rand nudes.'

'OMFG objectivism soung like objectification as in objectification of womyn! THAT MEANS HE'S PART OF THE GREEDY CAPITALIST PATRIARCHY!' I screamed.

'Uh... I guess?'

'You donut know because you're a man and men are stupid.' I said as I opened the door and walked out of the sub sandwich.

'Ok I can take you to the misogynistic sexist mansplaining shitlord, but first you need to help me.'

'Ok' I said as I walked (not feminine walk cuz that sexist!) around and down hallway, glad that a man was asking a womyn for help because as we all know, all men are helpless, rape loving misogynists.

'I need you to save me familia; me woife Moira and me wee baby Patrice.'

(He's not single? Fuck!)

'OMFG' I screamed, 'FIRST OF ALL, HOW DARE YOU MAKE A WOMYN YOUR 'WIFE', AKA YOUR SLAVE!? DO U MAKE HER COOK AND CLEAN FOR AS WELL!?'

'OW MOI EARS!'

'NOT TO MENTION THAT SHE NEEDS RESCUING! HOW DARE YOU MAKE HER BE A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS! ANITA SHARKEISHA WAS RIGHT THIS VIDYA SEXY AND MYSOGGYKNEESICAL!'HDHSHSHGXBS DBSVDHSBDHXHXBXBXHGDHDVHDHVSHSVHDBDHDHDHDHDUDBDUSBFVDJSBDHD DUDH*punch**punch**punch*

a/n ME CONTINUE THIS LATER IN NEXT CHAPPA BECAUSE ME ANGER RIGHT NOW!

AND DON'T U DARE FLAM THIS OR UR A MISOGYNISTIC SEXIST RACIST HOMOPHOPIC TRANSPHOBIC INSLAMAPHOBIC ANTISEMITIC XENOPHOBIC MANPLAINING MANSPREADING CHRISTIAN REPUBLICAN CAPITALIST BIGGOATED CONSERVATIVE SHITLORD!GEBDHSHVDBS DHUSVSGSHVSVZHHSVSHBDHSH *breaks keyboard*

Fuck, I think I lost a few brain cells writing that.