A/N: I have been working on this for a long time. Off and on for about a year or two. Finally had the confidence to start posting after some rewriting. With that said need to point out a few things. One. NO IDEA ABOUT HEART medical stuff. If theres something already called glass heart THIS glass heart syndrome isn't like that. It's a condition from the forest not from this world. Don't want to say more then that, spoilers you know, just wanted to clarify. Second. Im 'mean' to snow ive been told. BUT while i like the actress, I truly despise snow so while i will TRY to not have her blown up with grenade or fireballs I give no promises. I hope you enjoy.
'Glass Heart' syndrome. Or at least that was what Emma had called it for most of her life. Really it was just a heart condition. One that had gradually worsened with time. Truthfully speaking there was no real name for the condition she'd been born with. It was one that had never been seen before.
Considering she had gotten shit foster homes who beat her, starved her, or simply chose to forget she existed in the first place most of the time they had refused to let her have treatment. Or be tested upon. Which, as Emma looks back on, might not have been a bad thing. She didn't want to be some sort of lab rat.
As far as Emma needed to know her heart was fucked. A bastard of an organ that was playing russian roulette. Not that she particularly cared. She had long since stopped being worried about dying. Her whole life people had attempted to control her, and her whole life she'd fought back. She figured if she was dying she might as well be happy and enjoy herself as she fucking does it.
One time, when she was barely four years old, there had been a really nice young doctor who had truly done his best to try and help her. He was doing his residence, which of course she hadn't understood at that age. The foster father had literally dropped her off in the emergency room of the hospital because she had begun to cough up blood after he'd beat her pretty bad. He'd left immediately, dropped her into a chair and then left.
No one had really noticed. It was boston. The place was full of sick complaining people, why would they bother a little girl who was curled into a ball and not crying. She'd learned not to cry. Crying made everything worse. But, that young doctor had noticed her, had picked her up and looked her over. Probably saved her life.
Honest to god, it was one of the best weeks of Emma's early childhood. Hell, one of the best weeks of her young life. The young doctor with the blonde hair and blue eyes had been nice to her. Checking in on her. He read to her. He'd colored and made jokes. To this day she couldn't remember his name, let alone his face. But she remembered his hair and his eyes.
Of course, she couldn't stay indefinitely. The day that she had to leave with her new foster parents had been utterly horrible. The little girl had kicked, screamed, and clung at her only friend. So he had plucked her up, and sat down in one of the chairs. Wrapping his arms around her and placing his chin on her head.
Everyone had watched as he whispered to her that while she might have a glass heart she was one of the strongest, willful, adorable, and funny little girls he had ever met. Slowly he'd calmed her down. Placing her on her feet, and turning her so she was looking at him. He'd cupped her chin. Looked at her sadly, and told her she was a fighter. Then he watched with a frown as she was dragged away.
After that she had never seen that doctor again. However. The nickname had stuck. He'd said she had a glass heart. So that was what she called it. It made sense, looking back. A heart that was quick to bleed, quick to die, and just seemed to shatter more and more as time passed on. Glass was an interesting material. It could be as strong as steel, or as fragile as a single blade of grass.
Everyone in the town thought that their savior, Emma Ashden Swan, was made of bulletproof grade glass. Hell they were pretty damn sure she didn't bleed, that she walked on fucking air, that she could shit pure gold, and was the most magical badass being in existence. That she was put on the earth to save THEM and give THEM their happy ending.
If only they knew the truth about what beat beneath the woman's breastplate. If only they knew the secrets that resides in her soul, the darkness, anger, and pain. If only they knew the love that had grown there. Truth be told, she could give a flying pigshit about ninety percent of the town. She just wanted to be some semblance of happy before her heart finally turned to dust.
If nothing else Emma knew she was immensely skilled with the way she had always carried herself. Especially in this town. On the outside she perfectly emanated a steel like exterior. On the outside she could take a hit like a champ, and truthfully spoken she sometimes even purposely picked a fight just to feel fucking alive.
Picking fights with her condition was simply suicidal. That didn't stop her from doing it. Emma knew just one wrong hit and she could have that final attack that would claim her life. However, the way she figured it, if she died that way at least she had chosen it. At least then she'd gone down swinging.
Differences. Opposites. Interior and exterior for example. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Inside she rarely felt alive. Never felt worth a dime. After all she knew how close to death she was. Knew every moment, essentially, could be her very last. That she was simply living on borrowed time.
How she had lived through all the curse drama she didn't know, but somehow she had. Not that it mattered. Before she had moved to this stupid little town thanks to her kid showing up at her doorstep she had stopped taking her pills. She didn't want them, hadn't wanted people to know. Emma wanted to pretend that her heart didn't ache in her chest in more than just an emotional way.
Hearts. Emma had always fully despised the organs. How could she do anything but? Emotions came from the heart. Love came from the heart. No one here knew, no one in a long time had known. It was her best kept secret. There were only two things Emma had in common with Cora. The relevant one was that both believed that hearts were someone's weakness. If only Cora had truly known how weak, mutilated and dying Emma's had been.
In fact way back before the Curse was broken she had been so keen on keeping her secrets that she had been seconds away from returning her badge, back when she was a deputy. Graham had been growing tired of Emma's 'Too busy to get a physical, I'll get one next week' speech.
Like a miracle, a tragic miracle, before he got so tired of her never-ending excuses he had, ironically, had a heart attack and died. So being the cruel creature she was she had used his death, and any excuse she could think of, to deny getting one when she had accepted the Sheriff's star. Because at the end of the day Emma really, really, did not want to get a physical done.
The whole curse breaking shit, being at each others throats, trips to a whole other land and what not had helped astronomically in Emma's endeavor not to get such a thing done. Of course over time there had been no new excuses and she had no choice but to quit, or get it done. Unlike Graham, Regina had offered her a golden opportunity.
Whale, being the town's doctor, was supposed to do all the check-ups for work. However the mayor had believed Emma's reluctance to be the fact her mother had slept with the man. So told Emma she could choose her own Doctor. The very next day Emma had driven herself right over the barrier line.
Regina had allowed her five days off. So Emma quickly, and efficiently, tracked down someone close enough to her own appearance, weight, and height and paid them a pretty portion of her monthly income to take the required tests for her. All worth it, Regina got the paperwork she needed, and Emma never had to divulge the deadly organ beating behind her ribcage.
Each time Emma had been forced into the bi-yearly physical she'd take a short vacation, select a new woman and a new doctor. Always someone fit, someone who wasn't at risk of heart disease or something stupid. Someone who shouldn't be on a heart transplant list, even if every doctor had told Emma that her body would, without a doubt, reject any heart that she received.
Waiting for the end. That's all Emma Swan ever really did. Since the very beginning she had known. Though at that point she hadn't fully understood that her heart was bad. All she had known was she wasn't going to live very long. However, she'd never really truly believed it. She was young, reckless, and stupid. Didn't care.
The truth of it all had hit her, fully, for the first time when she was seventeen. The heart attack she'd had was so bad Emma had literally died twice on the table. Both times coming back after more than two minutes. She'd been in Maine at the time. However, since then her heart continued to decline.
The fact she was dying, that her time was truly limited. That she had absolutely no control in her fucked up fate. That had been drilled into her when she had died, for six minutes and fourteen seconds. It had happened right after she had given birth to the son she had never wanted. Time and time again her heart had failed. Pills or no pills. Whether she ate and did as the doctor said or not. Her little glass heart was going to do as it wanted, and that was just the way it was.
What Emma didn't know that today would be the day that her heart finally just gave up. That the glass would finally shatter. Her soul and her heart would just break in one final, and painful, blow. She was standing by her car, across the street and a house down from Regina's. Watching as Robin kissed the woman she loved goodbye.
Her son rushing towards the house with the biggest grin on his face. Robin smiling affectionately on a woman there was no way in hell he could ever deserve, ever be worthy of. Henry waving at him and being happy to see him. He too thought the man walked on gold and shit out rainbows. How he could be so delusional Emma never understood. All Emma had wanted to do was drop the kid off, not have her heart broken. Again.
That was it. The final straw, the sheriff couldn't take anymore. Her heart couldn't take it anymore. Her hand shot to her chest, right over her heart. Clawing through the fabric of her shirt. Knowing as she did so that this was it. That this was her final moment, this was where she would die. Her eyes fluttered shut, and her jaw tightened. Refusing to make a sound.
What would be the point in making any? Nothing could save her now. This had happened so many times before, but this time the pain was worse than ever. Her heart gave out slow, heavy, severally excruciating thuds. Pain ricocheting out from her heart, feeling like hot lava in her veins. Each beat slower, heavier, until finally no beats could be given.
Soundlessly Emma dropped to her knees, before sliding her back against the bug. Finally ending up fully on the ground, curled up. Not a soul noticed what was going on. Not even the son who was far too busy telling his mother and her boyfriend about his amazing weekend. Not the mother, not the boyfriend. Not for several minutes did anyone take notice of the fallen sheriff.
In fact it wasn't a human at all that found her. It was Pongo. If the dog had not escaped and been wandering around on his own Emma wouldn't have been noticed for several hours. The dog licked her face in between frantic barks. Barking up a storm of epic proportions between loud howling and whining. By then Emma's heart had already stopped, but she wasn't yet permanently dead.
Twelve slow hours passed. A group of people wearing tracks in the hard white surface of the hospital floor as they impatiently and worriedly waited for the doctors to return and tell them just how their savior was doing. All they knew thus far was that she was in surgery and they'd get more information later.
They didn't even know what was wrong with her yet. All they knew was when the ambulance had arrived she had no heartbeat, and wasn't breathing. So some people paced, some people sat, some people stared. No matter who was doing what, no matter how they tried to be hopeful, not one of them could feel anything but fear. And in some cases guilt.
Doc, and Whale, came into the room. The first thing everyone noticed was they were no longer wearing green scrubs, but blue. They'd changed. The dwarfs face was somber, guilty. It shot fresh waves of fear into everyone who had waited. In fact the shorter man couldn't even look anywhere but the floor. His face conveyed fear. He was too terrified to look them in the eye, Doc knew he couldn't handle such a thing. He couldn't even look at Regina of all people.
Eyes that had long since run out of tears watered as Snow grabbed onto her husband. He was barely able to hold her up. Henry was curled up like a baby in his mother's arms. Paralyzed in fear, with his face in her chest. Regina was tapping her foot she was so nervous, but her son just thought she was trying to calm herself. Belle had long since cried herself to sleep, her head tucked safely in Ruby's lap. Though the wolf looked ready to jump to her feet at any moment, much like Pongo who was laying sadly on Archie's feet.
"How is she doing? Is she going to be alright? Doc? Frank?" Archie was the first to speak, he had jumped to his feet. Wringing his hands together as he too stared at the floor. "Well?" He pushed softly after he was met with a deathly silence. Worry eating at his insides. He himself felt horrible, he could only imagine what everyone else was feeling.
Heart sinking even further inside of her chest Regina let out a pained breath as Whale finally looked her in her eyes. When that man, of all the evil people in any world, looked guilty enough to cry. That was a bad sign, worse then any sign that the once evil queen could even fathom at this point.
The man had been Frankenstein, or as he now preferred to be called, Franklin Whale. He cared about science, and his brother. Nothing else. He was a man who was basically void of guilt. And right now it was the only emotion left on his pale face. The woman wasn't even sure why she was in so much pain right now, but she was. Whatever news the Doctors were about to give to them wasn't going to make her feel any better.
"Emma's heart. It's. The heart. It's. It's dying" Doc barely managed to say. His voice so low almost no one could hear it. Doc sniffled and a tear dripped down his cheek. He looked so guilty and torn. He had delivered her, but he he hadn't even had time to check her vitals before she'd been tossed into the wardrobe. He wondered, was this heart condition his fault? Had he been able to check her could it have been prevented?
"For now we have managed to stabilize Sheriff Swan. With that, you need to know, there is nothing medical, or any, science can do. While I can't perform magic, Regina knows just how knowledgeable I am in that area of expertise. From what I know, there is nothing magic can do either. We have managed to save her, but. To be candid. It is merely a matter of time before she passes. Not much at that. Her heart will give out fully, and soon." Snow burst into fresh tears at Whale's words.
"That's not possible" Argued the mayor. Hope filling her chest. "No. Her heart can't be dying. Not even three months ago the organ was quite literally the epitome of health! Hearts simply do not go from that degree of health to useless in such a small span of time. I have the records of all three of her physicals at my office. The first done a few weeks after the curse. Six months after that, then just three months ago. She went in right after Henry's twelfth birthday"
Everyone who had waited in the room for the past half-day eagerly nodded their heads at Regina's words. Investing all of their hope, strength, and wishes in what she had said. They were praying to whatever higher power may exist in this world that Regina's wasn't wrong. As they all desperately wished the doctors were wrong.
As if she could sense the two men's rebuttal the woman in question, the woman who was determined that they be wrong, conjured the correct files into her hands. They arrived in a cloud of lavender smoke. She double checked the name, then painfully shoved them into Whale's hands. Glaring at him as she did so.
Slowly, and carefully, the men flipped through the files. Running their eyes and fingers over the words. Swapping pages and folders back and forth a multitude of times. They whispered to each other so low that no one, not even Ruby, could hear what they were saying no matter how hard they struggled to do so.
They pointed and huddled together while facing away from the group. Sadly nodding their faces at each other, their faces morose. While they had a mutual, undying, hatred of each other they worked together well. When they had too, as far as medically they respected the that, right now, they agreed perfectly. There was unquestionably no way that these tests had ever been performed on the one and only Emma Swan.
"Madam Mayor. This. Well. This file clearly states that Emma is five eleven. Another says five ten. The last says she is a quarter inch below six foot. While in truth the Sheriff stands at just under six-one. There are several other discrepancies as well. I am sorry, these are not Emma's true results" Doc said sadly as he handed the files back to the dumbfounded woman.
Now, everyone knew that Doctor Whale was, honestly, a despicable person. Even he himself knew that much. He liked to test on dead bodies, even live ones when the chance arose. He had sucky bedside manner. However, Emma had saved him. Under the curse he had been bored. Meaningless sex and late nights wishing for something better than treating patients he didn't really like was his life.
When his memories of Victor Frankenstein had flooded into his mind the two personalities had been thrust together. He had the best of both worlds. He loved his life now. Sure he was carefully straddling the line between good and evil, but he was happy with that. Emma dying didn't sit well on his stomach, let alone his mostly silent conscious, but there was nothing he could do to save her.
"The damage to Emma's heart is severe. There is more than enough evidence that points to it having been caught well before now. Her heart has actually been worked on before. Incredulously light scars still exist from the incisions. I'd estimate the last surgery to have been performed five to seven years ago dependent on the skill of the surgeon. That doesn't matter now. What matters is you have very little time to say your goodbyes. You need to come to terms with the fact that she won't be here." His voice actually broke as he spoke, his eyes became watery. Shocking the people even further. Doctor Whale's voice did not break, at least it never had before.
Everyone, save David, could tell by the awkward way the two co-workers were looking at each other that there was more to be said. The two fought, sadly, slowly, and silently through their eyes. Whatever was left to be said. How could it possibly be any worse than learning the Savior, Sheriff, that Emma damn Swan, was dying in a hospital bed because her heart was unsalvageable. Regina couldn't think of worse news, and that scared her. More than she would ever care to admit.
"There is more" Sighed out Doc in defeat. He looked like he was about to just burst into full scale crying at any moment. "We read the back of her emergency dogtags. We found it after removing her shirt. It told us two things. The first being that she is allergic to penicillin, the second that in case of emergency call a certain number. Turns out it was a woman. Well. She's on her way here as we speak." The last part was whispered in worry.
Confused everyone glanced at everyone else in the room. Each seeking answers. A woman? No one had ever heard Emma speak about a woman. In fact, now that they actually thought about it, Emma never spoke of her life outside of Storybrooke. Prior to this moment they hadn't even known she had a deadly allergy to penicillin.
They had seen the silver chain that hung around her neck. However never really thought to ask about the necklace that always was tucked inside of her shirt. They had never once suspected that it was a medical pendant of sorts. In fact, they'd never seen the ending of the necklace. It had always been safely tucked inside of whatever the woman had been wearing. Something they should have found odd.
They decided to put those self-anger inducing thought aside as Doctor Whale led them to Emma's room. It was massive. The kind of room that usually holds four beds, eight in emergency situations. The nurses had put her there. Knowing full well that Emma's waiting room was full of people, and that they'd need the space. They'd even cleared the room out.
After an hour fawning over the still sleeping woman the men and women decided that there was no way in hell that they were going to go back home and risk not being there when she woke up. Having nowhere to sleep, and refusing to bunk in a chair, or worse a blanket on the floor, Regina took pity and conjured air mattresses, pillows, and blankets.
Sixteen full hours had passed since Emma had collapsed when the last of the group finally fell asleep. Troubled, fitful, fearful and restless sleep. However it was sleep nonetheless and they all needed it after the day they'd had. The only thing they needed more was to wake up and learn this was all a massive mistake. Some sort of shared nightmare, even if they knew that was a pipe dream. Should anyone ask, Regina's excuse for staying in the room was the son she shared with the woman sleeping whilst attached to a uncountable amounts of wires.
A/N: I will update every Thursday. As always if you have the time please let me know your thoughts.