a/n: i wasn't going to release this but, fuck it, what's the harm? i figure that i'm never really going to work on it unless I have some push to do so. well, here's the push. i'll just have to deal with the consequences later on.
Moment Of Truth
Prologue: All I've Done
It's like my wetnurse used to say: sometimes, a mother has to sacrifice her personal happiness for the greater good. If you can't, well, then I suppose you can't call yourself a mother in good conscience.
It's a duty, a responsibility that you can't really appreciate until you've become a mother. All the time, you'll hear people say that they'd cut limbs off for their children, but the truth is, until your arm is under the knife, you don't know how you'll react. Saying isn't doing. You don't know what you'll do, or how far you'll go, until it's your child that's about to be shipped down the river.
Who would've thought that, on this very night, my arm would be under the knife?
This will, excluding any acts of divine providence, be my last entry. There's nothing more I can do or say in order to change the situation; all the pieces have been laid on the board. My name will be stained for all time. Plays will be written about my treachery. Honestly, I couldn't care less. As long as my child has a chance at life, there really isn't any extreme I wouldn't go to. That's what a mother does. She protects and provides for her children, no matter the cost.
My son, if you ever happen to read this, know that all I've done this night, I've done for you. You've always been headstrong, willful, and you've always done your absolute best. The next few years will be hard for you, I know, but I know that you won't lose your way. I believe in you, even if you don't believe in yourself. I hope that you grow into the Prince you were always destined to be, a man that sticks by his principles, no matter the cost.
My daughter, if you ever happen to be reading this, I want to apologize. Most likely, I wasn't there as much for you as much as I should have been. I hope that you will grow up into a beautiful young lady, both inside and out. And I hope that, one day, you realize that all the intelligence and talent in the world won't help you if you don't have your heart behind it. But, most importantly, I want you to know that no matter what you do, no matter how far you fall, no matter how much you stray, I will never stop loving you.
And, no matter what may happen, I promise not to lose myself either. I will always be there, for the both of you. I will live, in hopes that, one day, I'll be able to see you again.