Yeah, um, new story. Yay.
Indifferent
Tomisin Starr (15) District 2
I had always been indifferent. Neither good, nor bad, but more bad than good. I'm not going to go off talking like this, pretending that I'm the only one that is that way, because I'm not. Don't you hate it when people talk about themselves, saying how bad of a life they have; when you know that there are people out there that have it worse than them? I do, and I know I'm not the only one. I know I'm not the only one to feel alone, worthless, and unwanted. Everyone feels like that from time to time, it's not just me. Sure, I'm sick of pretending everything's okay when it's not, but I can't change that. I'm just going to smile, because I don't want the people closest to me to share my unhappiness. And, no matter how many times I must remind myself, I know that it's alright not to be okay. I'm not writing this for me, I'm writing this for everyone out there who needs it.
- Tomisin
I immediately shut my journal at the sound of the doorknob to my room being opened. I have half a second to react and I do so by throwing the journal across my room where it hits the wall and falls onto my bedside table. My startled sister stands in the doorway and stares at me with an expression of pure... To tell you the truth, I don't really know what.
She just shakes her head, her red curls bouncing as she does, and tells me to get dressed into my reaping clothes. Once she has left the room, I walk swiftly to the table my journal had fallen on and swoop it up. I check for damage – on the book as well as the wall it had hit – and after finding none, I shove the journal into the second drawer on the table.
My sister isn't too worried about me being reaped; she says that the Capitol citizens wouldn't pick me. She says that they would pick a Career, since we live in District 2, a.k.a. a Career District. I, on the other hand, am not too sure. Part of me thinks that the Capitol will pick a Career, because they absolutely adore them, but part of me can't help from being scared.
It's worse since there is no volunteering this year. At least I would've had a chance of some Career girl volunteering for me at a regular reaping. But this wasn't a regular reaping, or a regular Games. Even the time of the reaping was different, it was usually early in the morning, but for this Reaping, it was at sundown.
I throw on a pair of black tights and a maroon skirt over that. Then, I put on a black sweater, and grab a brush so I can comb through my orange knots which consume my hair while I sleep. Before I forget, like last time, I put on a pair of black boots.
Once I am done, I leave the small house which I share with my sister. Althea is 19 and plenty old enough to take care of me since our parents had passed when we were much younger. She also doesn't have to be worried about the reaping like I do.
I find her outside, along with her friend, Obsidian, who was once a career and is now 24; he had never had the chance to go into the Games. He has the blackest eyes you would ever see, as dark as night yet as inviting as day. I see a scurry of movement behind him and come to realize that his brother, Jace, is here as well. It surprises me, and I don't know why. I suppose that I didn't expect to spend my day with Althea, Obsidian, and him. I wasn't too fond of people, yet when I was alone I felt a need of companionship. It's a strange world we live in, where people can feel such.
"Took you long enough," Jace mumbles behind his brother, and Obsidian's smile wavers as he nudges his brother in the ribs with his elbow. I watch as Jace curses and glares at his older sibling.
It amazes me that they are brothers. They look absolutely nothing alike. Obsidian, with his dark eyes and fair hair, and then Jace, with his brown hair and blue eyes. Even their face structures didn't resemble. From what I had seen of their family, Obsidian looked more like their mother and Jace more like their father. The only things –appearance-wise – that they shared were their curly hair and fair skin. From this, most people could tell they were brothers, but not for me.
Jace Anderson (18) District 2
I hate Tomisin Starr. I hate her fiery hair, her stormy eyes, and her snowy skin. She was too... Too everything. Her skin too pale, her hair too orange, her nose too pointy. Her face kind of reminded me of a mouse, actually. She was too quite, too stubborn, and she knew it. She knew it all, and she hated herself more than anyone could hate her, even me. It almost, almost, made me not want to hate her.
I don't understand why she doesn't hate me. She didn't hate anyone, and that's why I hated her. I know it doesn't make sense, but let me explain it to you. We used to be friends, best friends, and then, well, life got in the way. She started to compare herself to everyone, and started to get that look in her eyes. They were always cloudy and it made her seem like she was never thinking straight. I told her to tell me what was wrong, and she wouldn't tell me. I couldn't take it anymore, these lies she would make up, pretending she was alright. I stopped talking to her, and she stopped talking to everyone. And the more we grew up, the further we grew apart.
Sometimes I go as far as to believe that she has forgotten we were ever friends. Actually, I really do believe she has.
Now, when I look at her, her eyes show no emotion towards me; not hate or anger or sadness, nothing. It's like that with everyone now; she gives them all this same empty look. But I know that those eyes aren't hollow, not completely. There was something in them that had always been in them.
Longing.
And it would be a lie if I said that I didn't miss her every day.
Tomisin Starr (15) District 2
I don't understand why we are leaving so early, the reaping isn't for hours. Well, two actually, but it's not like it takes that long to walk there. I take in my surroundings as we walk, not that I'm unfamiliar with where we are. We're nearing the center of the District, the trees have dropped red, orange, and yellow leaves all over the road and they crunch under our boots as we walk. There's a cold breeze that chills my arms, for the sweater I am wearing is very thin. I can already tell that the oncoming winter will be especially cold this year.
I am walking a few paces behind Obsidian, Althea, and Jace. The conversation had turned to one about the Capitol, and I wasn't too interested. I hear them laughing now, and wonder if they even notice that I am gone. Probably not, I decide, thinking to myself as I pick up a green leaf that had fallen off a tree. I find it peculiar, a green leaf during the fall.
As I am pondering about my leaf, I nearly fall to my knees for the road beneath my feet has turned to ice. The leaf falls out of my hands and I look at the ground. It's not a lot of ice, just a very thin layer of it.
Not far in front of me, I see my three "companions" struggling with the ground as well. My sister struggles with her scarf, and while doing so, she slips and falls to the ground.
I must laugh, and I do. It's the first real laugh I had given in a while, and it's a funny sound, but I like it. My sister turns, and seeing me there, about 5 paces behind them, tells me that I couldn't make it to them.
I bend my knees and slide my feet past each other, sliding/walking to we're my sister is still on the ground. I nearly slip about 7 times, but I manage to reach her at the same time Obsidian does, Jace right next to him.
"Help me up will you, Tommy?" Althea asks, reaching a hand out towards me.
I stare at her.
"Don't call me that." I say blankly, without a hint of emotion, and reach to grab her hand.
Althea's much heavier than I first assumed and I am nearly pulled on top of her. Obsidian grabs my arm before I do, and he then pulls my sister up without any effort. She tells him thanks and then tells me to get some muscle, which I respond with more staring.
She rolls her eyes and then leads us into a shop nearby. The aura is overwhelming. It smells of coffee, milk, and various types of tea. It's sweet and bland and... I don't have any money. I look to Althea, who is observing the menu. I could never ask her to pay for me, she never has before, I always pay for my own things.
"I'll buy something for you, Tomisin. Don't freak out." Althea snickers, louder then I would've liked. Jace turns and smirks at me, I ignore him, and keep looking at Althea. I hated when she did this. Make me look weird in public by saying things that were exaggerated and untrue. I knew it was a sibling thing, but I've never made her look bad in public. Other than laughing at her when she fell on the ice, that is.
"I obviously wasn't." I say casually, and she seems startled since I never usually respond to things like that. In fact, I rarely talk in public unless someone asks me a question or I feel like something must be said. In this case, it was the second one.
I tell the young woman behind the counter what I would like. Once Althea has paid, I go and sit in a corner chair, away from windows and other people, and inhale the smell of unsweetened peppermint tea. Althea comes and sits beside me with her black coffee, and soon Obsidian and Jace come and join us. They had all gotten coffee; I had been the only one to get tea. It doesn't bother me, I don't know why it would, and I just can't imagine myself picking coffee over tea I suppose.
These tights are so uncomfortable, they're so itchy. No matter how many times I scratch my leg, it doesn't help. This skirt, too, is annoying. I've always hated skirts. I would never be seen out in public with one on any other day. It's also hard to walk in, and sit in, to sum it up; it's harder to do most things in.
I finish my cup of tea, and enjoy the warmth it has given me. I stand and walk over to the woman behind the counter and give her my cup. She thanks me and I nod, giving a friendly – fake – smile in return.
I turn back to the table and find that a young man has taken my spot. I don't understand why, and he seems to be talking to my sister. He seems to be bothering her as well; she is glaring at him and not speaking. Obsidian is doing the same, and Jace is just sitting there quietly.
I don't know whether to go over or not. I could go over, but then what? Tell him to get out of my spot. Oh yes, I'm sure a – what 20? 21? – year old man will be terrified of me, a skinny little 15 year old girl. If I stayed, though, he would just keep bothering Althea. I catch Obsidian's eye and stare at him intensely, trying to tell him to do something. He obviously doesn't catch on, because he raises an eyebrow. I frown at him and walk over to the young man.
He is in the middle of his sentence when I interrupt him. It's not like I was impolite, I just said excuse me, but he glares at me with such coldness that I regret coming over.
"Do you want something?" He snaps, and glances at my sister.
The question doesn't really process in my mind; I'm too busy staring at him. Not because he was handsome - though he was - but because I recognized him. I don't know where from, but I did. I knew I had seen him somewhere, if I could only remember his name.
"I said do you want something?" He hisses, and again, I do not process the question, I just continue to stare at him.
His name is on the tip of my tongue. I try to take in his features, attempting to remember it. Dark hair and eyes, tan skin, one of his front teeth is chipped. His name started with F, I'm pretty sure. Frank? No. Fred? Again, no. It wasn't a name like that, it wasn't as common. Fin? Not quite, but that was close. I was so, so close. Gosh, what was it? I knew it, I know I did. Finnley! That was his name; at least I was pretty sure it was.
Before I could ask him, he got up and left, calling me 'Freak' on the way. Haven't heard that one before, I think and sit down at his spot. I see that he has left his wallet on the table, it is brown and leather and I know he will soon be coming back for it. I open it up, and hear Althea beside me, hissing at me to put it down. I'm about to, because I have found what I need, a small slip of paper saying 'if found please return to Finnley Roggenbuck' I stick the paper back in and close it. I'm about to set it on the table when it is grabbed out of my hands, and then slapped against my head. I gasp and put one hand on my head to prevent the wallet from hitting my head again. The spot it had hit still stung, and that's all I was thinking about when Finnley started to shake me wildly, yelling at me that I had stolen money.
He let out a scream and let go of me, backing away. First I'm confused, and then I see the coffee dripping off of him and Jace holding an empty coffee cup standing between the table and Finnley. He gives an apologetic smile and says sorry politely, then he walks past him and gives the cup to the lady behind the counter, who is watching everything but not interfering.
"You!" Finnley points at me, but I don't notice. I'm too busy staring at Jace, I was more surprised then I should've been, but I just couldn't believe it. Since when did he help me, or care what happened to me? Or did he?
Finnley grabs my arm, making me look at him. "What did you take, you thief?!"
I stare at him blankly, "I am not a thief."
"Well, then what do you call someone that steals stuff, huh, Ginger?" He snorts, and I glare at the name. I had always hated being called that. It was really one of the few things that could make me mad, and I was never mad.
"Don't call me that." I hiss, glaring at him, and then, "you're awfully sure I took something, but I don't recall you ever checking your wallet."
His eyes got a bit bigger at that, and he let go of my arm, flipping through his wallet. A few minutes later, he stared at me and then turned and walked away. My glare faded as he did; leaving me thinking about all these emotions I had had today. More than normal; maybe I was becoming normal.
Probably not.
Once Althea had asked me if I was alright about 13 times, the four of us left the shop and started toward the center of the District. After the incident with Finnley, we were just in time for the reaping.
Althea and Obsidian left Jace and me, and so we started to walk over to the Peacekeepers that would collect our blood. On the way, a couple of his friends came and stole him, so I had to walk to the Peacekeepers by myself. Not that I was disappointed.
I got to the 15 year old section during the end of the Dark Days video, and I was thankful I didn't have to watch the whole thing. Though, I didn't watch it anyway, I just stood on my tip toes and searched for Jace in the 18 year old section. I knew where he'd be standing, near the front, and next to his Career friends.
I could never get over his decision to become a Career. It was probably just because his brother had been one, and he wanted to take after him, but I just hated it. He was probably really disappointed too, because this was the last year he could go into the Games and he had trained all those years for this.
He might get picked, though. The thought made me shiver inside, and I don't know why. I just didn't want him to go into the Games, even if he hated me. I assure you, I wasn't all that fond of him either, I just didn't want him to. He was the only person around my age that knew who I was, and once, long ago, he had been my friend.
Our escort, the always colorful, Rain Howard, tapped the microphone with one of her perfect nails to see if it worked. Realizing it did, she fixed her bright red wig and her dark green suit and cleared her throat. The sound echoed through the District, not a very pleasant sound either.
"As you know, the tributes this year have been selected by the citizens of the Capitol. There are different reasons for each selection, but please remember, do not take this personally." Rain chirps as high pitched as a swallow. I wonder how it could not be personal, but, of course, I don't say anything.
"Also, please remember that there will be no volunteering." She continues, saying it directly to the group Jace was standing in. Some of the Careers were chuckling, some smirking, and some just looked focused.
"Alright, so first, the girl!" Rain exclaims and reaches for a pink envelope that's on a nearby table.
This is it. All I can think of is the sound of my heartbeat in my ears. Suddenly, I've never been so scared and I don't know why I am now.
"The girl, selected because the Capitol citizens wanted to see what she was capable of, is Tomisin Starr!" Rain announces, delighted.
I, on the other hand, am not. My legs feel like jelly, and I can just barely control them. I manage to make my way to the Peacekeepers before my knees buckle and they have to half-drag, half-carry me to the stage where I am dropped off in front of Rain. She smiles at me, and I just stare at her. She knows I am unhappy, she knows I am scared, yet she smiles. It's not a reassuring smile; it's a smile that has been stitched onto her face from living in the Capitol. She knew how I felt and she was happy, because of where she had grew up and lived. One day, she would have kids and they would think the same things and believe the same things.
"The boy, nominated because the Capitol wanted to give this Career a chance to be in the Games, because it's his last year to be in the Games-" No, I think, my luck can't be that bad. It can't be; what are the chances? "-is Jean-Luc Anderson!" She announces.
Who the hell is Jean-Luc?! I wonder and scan the 18 year old section, and I see Jace making his way to the stage. What? His name's Jace, not Jean-Luc! What is he doing?! I yell at myself in my mind, but he just keeps coming to the stage. He gives Rain a charming smile, and then gives me a sad one.
She tells us to shake hands and we do, he knows what I'm thinking. He knows that I know his name isn't Jean-Luc. He whispers to me, telling me that it's his real name, and that he just goes by Jace, before we are separated by a wall in the Justice Building.
My sister comes in, we hug, we cry, and then the Peacekeeper comes and pulls us apart. And that's it, that's all that comes for me. Obsidian can't come, because he went to see Jace, or Jean-Luc, I don't really know anymore. I don't know anything anymore. A Peacekeeper comes and escorts me to an awaiting train.
I can't breathe, it feels like the air is thin and I can't breathe, yet the Peacekeeper is breathing fine. Black spots start to appear in front of my eyes, and I can't tell up from down. I don't really care anymore; I'm going to die soon. But I will not pass out right now, I tell myself, and force myself to open my eyes. The Peacekeeper is kneeling beside me, asking if I'm alright. I'm so sick of that question. People are always asking me it, but I find that none of them actually care.
I turn to him and yell, "No! I'm not alright! I'm sick, I'm tired, and I'm scared! I'm going to die, and you know what? No one is going to care! No one will miss me!"
I then push his hands away and sprint towards the train. The second I'm onboard, the train starts and I'm off to the Capitol, with Jace. I lose my balance, and fall into something. I look up and see Jace, his bright blue eyes sad and worried. Something I would've never expected to see from him – or anyone.
I just push past him and run through a door where I find a bed. I decide that this is my room, and throw myself under the covers and bury me head in the pillow.
Okay, yeah, um, new story. No hate please. Thanks lovelies.