Meditation is hard.
Kanan always repeats the mantra 'clear your mind, Ezra.' Does he understand how difficult that is for a teenage boy? If I sit quietly, with my eyes closed, twisted up in this ridiculous pose any longer, either my knees are going to refuse to work when I eventually try to move again, or I'm going to fall asleep.
OK, let's try this again. 'I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me.'
'I am one with the Force, and the...'
Why does the ventilation system on this bucket have to be so loud? If they set a Bantha loose in common room, I'd never hear it. Seriously, they could have put the circulation fans closer to the compressor housing. This noise isn't helping.
One more time, 'I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me.'
Why do we even think a chant or prayer anyway?
"Gives your mind focus it does."
"What the hell?" My eyes fly open at the vocal intrusion. Clear as though its owner is in the room with me. Yet, no one has entered. Not that I could see anyone anyway, it's completely dark in here, except for the faint starlight entering through the small window.
"Who's there?" I ask into the empty room. I shouldn't expect a response, as that would have honestly terrified me.
'Imagine a disembodied voice, floating around the ship. Well, the ship is named "Ghost" after all.' A small chuckle escapes me, and with that small amusement, I must return to my meditation.
'I am one With the Force, and the Force is with me.'
"Why do you laugh?" The phantom voice asks, with bemusement audible in its question. I'm struck that although I'm quite used to having my own internal conversation, this voice is altogether something different than my own.
"Why do you laugh?" Well a question deserves an answer I guess…
"Because there is a voice here, though I can't seem to locate its owner. So I think either I'm going mad, sitting all twisted up on this pillow, or I've fallen asleep. Both of these conclusions amuse me somewhat."
"Strong is the Force. Possible are many things."
There's something familiar about this voice, but I can't remember who, or how I'd know it.
"Focus leads to clarity, clarity leads to truths', not yet seen."
OK, I know I've sensed this presence before.
"Use the Force, listen to it, answers you will find."
Well, I'm in this far, why not? I can almost feel the most subtle of pulls toward the voice. So I reach for it. Well, it's more like following a random thought out to its conclusion. With this come images, memories of things that have never happened. Or maybe they haven't happened yet. There are emotions here as well. Powerful feelings of fear, loss, and uncertainty.
"Always emotion, the future is."
"Master Yoda?" I ask, albeit rather uncertainly.
"Be mindful of the present, and of where you are, young Padawan. Never certain is the future." Though it is an admonition of caution, I can hear the approval in the old Master's voice at having learned his identity.
"Progress you have made today. Well done, well done, indeed."
Someone is coming. I can feel their intent is to find me. That's new. Usually I don't notice the comings and goings of anyone on board unless they're banging into the walls. It's Sabine.
The door hisses mechanically to reveal my visitor. It IS Sabine. I smile stupidly at her.
"Dinner." we say in unison. There's a split second of confusion that crosses her face, and as quickly as it came, it's gone again. Now she's rolling her eyes at me, so back to normal then.
"You know Hera won't let anyone eat until everyone is accounted for, and I'm hungry, so come on!" She has left me with no option except to follow. Dinner it is then!