'It's gonna be okay. Just breathe in and out. They'll take it perfectly fine, they won't hate you, they'll understand. Just tell them.' I chided silently to myself, whilst trying to stay calm and not freak out to much about what I'm about admit to my friends, something I've been keeping to myself since second year. I inhaled deeply through my nose and then exhaled through my mouth, reaching up I scratched my scar unconsciously, it had became a nervous tick. This action caused Pansy to glance up from her book and look at me from the sleek, leather armchair she was curled up in.
"Everything all right, Harry? Your scars not hurting is it?" She questioned concern lacing her every word.
I closed my eyes and sighed heavily in an attempt to clear my mind from the foggy thoughts.
"I'm fine Pansy really. It's not that, that's bothering me." I replied, staring into the fire.
Saying this caused Millie to look up from her transfiguration essay, obviously glad for the distraction, Ginny came over sitting really close to me, never have I felt more uncomfortable, so I scooted away from her and to the other side of the sofa.
'Why isn't she with Alexis?' I thought.
"What is it, Harrie-bear? Your not usually like this." I gave her look just as there was a knock on the door and Flint entered looking relieved. A large grin over took his face as he noticed my awkwardness.
"You alright, Harry?" He asked quickly.
"Marcus?! I need to speak with you, like now."
"Um okay? What's this about?" His brow furrowed.
The tension intensified intensified as he took a few steps closer. I jumped out of where I was sitting thinking rapidly for an excuse to leave. Hopefully not sounding rude to Pansy and Millie.
"Quiddich." I practically shouted as I all but ran towards my saviour. Pansy narrowed her eyes 'Quiddich?' She thought.
'They are no quiddich games this year.'
"There is no quiddich this year because of the tournament." Ginny snarked.
"Not that it's any of your business Weasley but we were going to get the team together before going back to Hogwarts to finish the tournament." Marcus snarked back, I sighed through my nose heavily.
"Right, why don't we talk about this down the hall a bit and let the ladies finish their assessments?" I asked rhetorically grabbing Marcus's arm dragging him out of the room behind me.
"Oi potter! You were going to tell us something, what was it?" Pansy asked calling me back.
"Um you know what? I'll tell you later Pansy I just, um, need to think about it and we really need to plan out this play for next week."
"Harry, have you figured out the egg yet? Try playing to your strengths like last time." Ginny cut in obviously not caring that it's none of her business.
"Alright Harrie-bear. Go work out your play with Flint, talk to us later when there are no…leeches around" Millie jumped in, giving a subtly jab in Ginny's direction.
I smiled gratefully and followed Marcus down the hallway to my personal library to discuss our last minute quiddich game.
The scene darkened and changed to the grounds of Hogwarts.
I groaned in frustration as I slowly made my way to the owlery and made my way up the stairs at an agonizingly slow pace. When I reached the top I saw one Cedric Diggory sending off a letter with his brown barn owl, I smiled lightly at him stepping closer so he could see me.
"Hey Harry, still trying to figure out the egg?" He asked quietly. I sighed again, but let myself smile a bit more regardless.
"Yeah I am. How about you? But then again, I suppose you already have something to work with. You are ever so smart and all knowing."
"Always have to be the sassy one, don't you love?" He grinned and let out a breathy chuckle.
"No. Not always, but it is a accommodating factor to my wonderful personality, don't you think?" I grinned back leaning against the ledge of the glass-less Windows, that the owls fly in and out off.
"Yeah it is. But you've got to admit, your far too cocky sometimes." He replied stepping closer, with a small smirk gracing his pale lips.
I pretended too think about the accusation, whilst cocking an eyebrow.
"Hmmm. True, I am a little cocky sometimes. Damn, that means Snape is right." I breathed, taking a tentative step towards the older boy as he whispered.
"But I like you when your cocky, it's attractive." And then gently pressed his soft lips against mine in a sweet kiss.
Our lips moulded and moved together as I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, Cedric placed both hands upon my waist pulling me closer to him as the once small kiss became more heated. Eventually, the need to breathe became to much to ignore and we had to pull away.
I couldn't help but stare up into Cedrics' beautiful, shining eyes.
Suddenly, Cedric's bright, shining, chocolate brown eyes full of happiness dulled and the smile fell from his face and became blank as a harsh and cold voice hissed "kill him." then all too quickly, in a sudden flash of bright green light Cedric fell to the ground, like a rock, his face clear of any emotion and his eyes clouded and seeing-less.
I fell down beside him, sobbing, begging all of this to be some cruel joke and for it to not be real. For Cedric, my Cedric to come back to me, smiling that stupid, infectious smile and all of this horror to be over.'
I shot up right in my four poster bed, in my overly spacious bedroom at Potter manor. Covered in a thin film of cold sweat, my eyes wide with fear at the horrors I continue to witness each night as I close my eyes. It's like a movie set on replay at the worse parts only I can't make it stop. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat, blinking away the tears that had formed in my eyes, I gently pulled away the heavy duvet that had stuck to my skin during my nightmare. Peering into the darkness, I remembered that I was in my room at Potter manor, my mum and and dad were on the floor above me sleeping, and I wasn't in the graveyard were Ced had died and death eaters tried to kill me also.
Last year, Hogwarts hosted the tri-wizard tournament. I along with Cedric Diggory was chosen to represent Hogwarts, however my being picked wasn't supposed to happen. First we faced a dragon, to get a clue to the next task which was in a golden egg the Dragon was protecting. The second task had us retrieve a 'treasure' that had been taken the night before from the bottom of the black lake in one hour. Our so-called treasure was someone who we were very close too and we would greatly miss.
The third and final task was to go through a maze filled with different obstacles like Sphinxs and giant spiders. Sadly, it didn't go as planned because the trophy was a port key that took Cedric and I to a lone graveyard, Where Peter Pettigrew was with other death eaters, he had murdered Cedric. And now it haunts me in my dreams, the day I lost my boyfriend, the guy I loved and still do.
I decided to get up and shower, dragging both hands over my face in an attempt to rub away the fatigue and the dream I looked fore long in the mirror. For a brief moment I saw Cedric smiling behind me but sadly when I blinked he was gone. Wishful thinking, I guess.
I still hadn't been able to tell Millie and Pansy that I'm gay. After the second task everyone was celebrating both Hogwarts champions being in first and second place. Not to mention that Barty Crouch was murdered in the Forbidden Forest. I was planning on telling them after the third task, but then Cedric was murdered and I was a bit preoccupied with Barty Crouch Jr. trying to kill me in the name of his 'Dark Lord', and it never seemed to come up again.
I turned on the shower, allowing the steady stream of water to heat up and a heavy fog of steam to cloud my bathroom. After my admittedly long shower, in which I mainly stood thinking about last year, I dryed off and wrapped the towel around my waist.
Stepping out of the humid area I was blasted with chilly air as I entered back into my bedroom, my long hair was still wet causing droplets of water to drip down my neck and toned torso.
I pulled out a pair of silk boxer shorts to put on before dropping the towel and looking for some nice clothes to wear. I remember that Draco was coming to visit because dad had a scheduled meeting with Lucius, the thought of my best friend coming over made me brighten a little more.
I dragged a pair of tightly fitted skinny jeans over my scarred legs, standing up I lifted the fluffy, white towel over my head and dried my hair slightly. A minute or so later I rolled the towel up and rested behind my neck. With a sigh I went back into my underwear drawer and took out a pair of socks to cover my feet. I pulled on a pair of black converse, standing up after tying the laces I went back into the bathroom throwing my used towel in the wash hamper I reached for my toothbrush and silently brushed my teeth.
I couldn't help but stare in the mirror for a while wondering how this all happened, I mean my parents are alive because of simple chance of luck. They had gone out the night Voldemort had came to kill me and left me with the house elf, Mimi, She died saving me, but was given some burial and a memorial plaque that sits in the trophy room on the ground floor.
I stared for a good five minutes at the pale lightening-bolt shaped scar the was in the middle of my forehead, before my eyesight blurred and a few tears slipped down my face. I placed my glasses on so they sat on the bridge of my nose and while final sigh I left the confinement of my room and wandered down stairs to the kitchen to find Cherry, my personal elf.
"Good morning master Harry." The small bat eared, black eyed elf greeted. Harry smiled as the small creature brought him a glass of Orange juice.
"Good morning Cherry." I greeted back, taking the glass and nodding my thanks.
"Oh master Harry should cover his skin before his mother awakens, that he should. Miss Lily would not like to see such a thing." Cherry babbled as she vanished with a pop and then reappeared with one of my clean shirts. Holding it out too me, she grinned a toothy grin and ushered me out of 'her' kitchen.
I breathed a laugh. 'Elves' I thought humourlessly, sitting at the dining table where the rest of my family insisted on being at every meal. Cherry had appeared not long later with the same usual breakfast foods. Pancakes, eggs, sausages, toast, bacon and numerous fruits lay on the centre of the table. I reached forward, trying to ignore Cherry's glare at the fact I still hadn't put on my shirt, and filled a bowl with strawberries, mango, grapefruit and yoghurt.
"Cherry? What time is it?"
"It is 8:23 master Harry." I nodded and she disapperated once more.
I had almost finished with my breakfast, which I had been eating incredibly slowly, when there was sudden screeching noises behind me. It sounded as if someone had brought a banshee home.
"Harry James Potter! What the bloody hell is that on your back?" Or it could just be my mother.
"Did you just curse, mother? You know that isn't very ladylike." I sassed without turning around. I reached for the shirt lying on the table and shrugged it on.
"Don't you sass me young man. James get in here now!" She hollered. Fairly quickly dad came running into the room shocked by all of the shouting.
"What? What's happened? Is anybody hurt? Do we need a mediwitch?"
"No James. But our son has something to show you, don't you Harry?" I furrowed my brow in confusion, stood up and turned to face my parents.
"Um, no? I don't think I really do. Morning dad."
"Morning, Harry. Your mother being dramatic again?" He joked.
"Yeah, I think she's over reacting just a little." My father looked at me with his usual boyish smile.
"Harry, does that happen to be the Slytherin crest on your chest?"
"Yeah, it is." I grinned, as dad laughed a bit.
"It's nice to be showing some house pride, son." Lily huffed in annoyance.
"No James, just stop encouraging him. Harry take off your shirt now!" She demanded. I groaned, but shrugged off my shirt regardless.
"Really mum, it's just far too early for this. Can't it wait till…" I trailed off at seeing the red hot glare I was given, mum slowly rotated her finger to show she wanted to see my back, I begrudgingly obliged and turned away from them. To show my back well, mainly the top part of it.
Stretching from my right shoulder to my left was a large black and white tattoo, of a large cobra snake entangled with a honey badger. The cobra's head rested on my right shoulder blade and its body curved and spiralled until the tip of it's tail curved over my left shoulder blade, it's mouth was open and its forked tongue poked out, the only colour on the snake being it's green eyes. The honey badger lay in the middle of the cobras coiled body it's back towards the snake but it had its head turned facing it with its nose almost touching the cobra. It's dark brown coloured eyes staring into the green snake eyes. Underneath the tattoo, in elegant, black cursive script by the tail of the badger was 'Bumblebee'.
"Wow, Harry." Dad started tracing the picture lightly with the tips of his fingers, "it's beautiful. Who's bumblebee, hmm? She pretty?" Those single words stung a little as I shrugged the shirt on once more.
"Yeah, he was" I sighed thinking of Cedric's chocolate brown eyes.
Dad smiled at me as mum kinda froze on the spot and her mouth dropped open a little.
"He?" Mum sputtered
"Lily, it's perfectly alright. If Harry wants to be with men then that's okay." Dad reassured her, her gaze turned narrow at her husband.
"My baby boy will most certainly not be dating men. He will date respectable young males of his age group." I couldn't help the laughter that erupted from inside my chest.
"Are we done talking about this, I sorta need to go to the bathroom." It was just an excuse to get away from the growing awkwardness, mum smiled and nodded.
"Can you make sure Alexis is up, darling?"
"Yeah, ma." I ran up the stairs to the first floor, making my way to Alexis' room on the right, I knocked.
"Alex you awake?" A muffled reply of 'yeah' came back through the door, so I left her and went to my library which is half full of books of magic and the other half is muggle books, which Draco secretly likes to read.
Sitting down at the window seat with an old leather bond copy of beedle the bard, I began to read.