AN: This fic has been floating around in some variation on tumblr for years, so if you recognise it, I haven't stolen it. I'm just uploading it to other sites in an attempt to guilt myself into finishing it. There are references to rape and child abuse in this fic, although none actually occurs in it, so if you need to hit the back button this is your chance to do so.

He shouldn't be alive.

Emma keeps sneaking glances at him. Graham hasn't noticed yet, too deep in paperwork to notice anything really, but she knows it's only a matter of time. She can't stop looking at him, not now that she knows the truth about their reality. The truth that none of it was real; that everything had been rewritten to fit the Wicked Witch of West into the timeline rather than Regina. He looks just as she remembers – curly brown hair, short brown hair growing around his chin. He shaved recently, so it is a little shorter that she recalls. He still makes corny jokes and banters with her, still bribes her with donuts and other sweets. But he is also different – they aren't co-workers, friends with romantic undertones any more. They're engaged, their wedding just over a month away, and so they both behave appropriately.

She knows that as the Savior, she is supposed to change it back at some point, but it's so hard when Graham is sitting in the station with her, head bent over paperwork, slight frown lines etched into his forehead as he worked through them.

Anxiously, she starts twisting the ring that now rests on her finger. She closes her eyes, letting the memory of his proposal wash over her. He'd been so nervous, like he expected her to say no, despite the True Love they shared. 'It wasn't real,' she thinks. 'All of this was engineered by Zelena because of her jealousy. It's not real.'

Her heart isn't convinced.

"Hey," says Graham quietly. Emma opens her eyes, trying to smile at her fiancée affectionately. Graham's eyes are concerned as he looks at her, letting her know she failed, but he doesn't comment. Instead, he says, "I can finish this all tomorrow. Do you want to go to Granny's?"

Granny's. Her parents will be there, probably, and Emma would love to be able to talk to Mary Margaret about this. But there's also the possibility of Hook being there, or even Neal in this timeline, and Graham is more than enough to deal with without them. Not to mention one or both of them might have figured out about the timeline as well and remembered, and she does not want Graham to witness any declarations of love she might receive.

"No," she says. "Let's have a night in. Henry can stay with my parents tonight." Graham nods, a slow smile spreading over his face. She stands, grabs her jacket and is about to walk out of the station when she feels his arms encircle her. She turns and smiles at him, and he begins to lean in. It's the first time he's kissed her since she remembered the real timeline and for a second all she can think of is Graham lurching forwards, collapsing on to the ground, her sobbing his name and trying to wake him – and then his lips are on hers and he feels warm and real. It's slow and sweet and a little bit of something bubbles up inside her. She smiles against his lips as she slips her arms around his neck. It's over all too soon when he pulls away abruptly. He grins down at her mischievously and takes her hand to pull her out of the station. 'Cheeky bastard,' she thinks, and follows.

They end up stopping by Granny's, anyway – Graham decides they need bearclaws and the ones at Granny's diner are the best in Storybrooke. Emma doesn't go inside, too terrified to see someone who knows about the timeline and knows how selfish she is being, and Graham has to go alone. She keeps her hold on his hand tight for a moment after he starts to get up, but eventually she has to let him go.

'"He'll come back," she whispers as he walks away. Her eyes follow him until he enters the diner. She slumps, burying her head in her hands.

Graham's supposed to be dead. Every time she looks at him, she sees his body lying on the cold floor of the sheriff's station. How is she supposed to be the Savior and change it all back when she knows that she is condemning Graham to death?

Regina might have changed in their timeline, but at the height of her villainy, Regina was far worse than Zelena had ever been. Was changing the timeline back, even for Henry's sake, really worth it when it meant so many people would die? (Have already died, have always been dead – stupid time travel.)

Henry is the only reason to want to go back. Henry loves Regina. She's not sure if Henry will fully understand the concept of the needs of many outweighing the needs of few – it's very probable that Henry will insist on finding a way to save everybody, but unfortunately such a solution doesn't exist. But Zelena was Henry's adoptive mother in this world, and surely he would be devastated to lose her, as well.

"What am I supposed to do?" Her voice is almost inaudible, but seems loud in the cold silence of the car.

There's a tapping on the car window, and she looks up to see Hook banging his hook against the glass. She rolls down the window and bites out, "What?"

"Swan," he says, and his tone is urgent. "Swan, you need to listen to me. Zelena – she did something, she rewrote time, it's not supposed to be like this -"

"I know, Hook," she sighs.

Hook's eyes widen and he straightens slightly. "We need to do something," he says quickly. "We have to find a way to undo what she did."

The bell to Granny's door is ringing, and she glances over at Graham coming out the door. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Hook." She's grateful for the excuse to dismiss Hook, because she's not entirely sure how to explain her doubts about returning to the original timeline. How was she supposed to tell Hook that Emma thought Zelena was a preferable Evil Queen to the one she'd usurped? That Regina wasn't worth the lives she took? That Regina wasn't worth Graham?

"But -"

"Graham's coming, and I don't want him knowing at the moment," says Emma. "We can decide what to do later."

Graham reaches the car and he nods at the pirate. "Hook."

"Sheriff," says Hook, his voice slightly hostile. She rolls her eyes at him, because is this really the time for Hook to be jealous?

Graham slides into the car as Hook walks away. "What did he want?" asks Graham.

Emma shakes her head. "It was nothing." She hesitates and takes his hand. "I just – I love you, okay?"

Graham's expression softens. He reaches out and places his free hand on her cheek. "I love you, too," he says in a voice that warms Emma to her core. She leans over and presses her lips to his in a soft kiss that reminds Emma of everything she has ever loved about Graham, in either reality.

"Let's go home," she says. Graham smiles at her and Emma knows – Regina is not worth it, not when there are so many people being made happier by her exile to Oz, Emma just one among them.