DISCLAIMER: Mai HiME and its characters are Sunrise property.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm not sure if I want to do other characters, but I know this isn't complete. Hers were the strongest feelings so I gave them voice. We choose our paths, but what if it truly is the wrong one? Can we change it, do we have that power? How will we know the right road?
The Wrong Path: Scattered and Scarred
How many days have I been gone now? I lost count after the first hundred days. I lost track of how far after a thousand miles. I wanted to be there for her, to be everything she needed, and in retrospect I failed. I can't go back, undo the damage I wrought in her name. As I think back, every time I think back, I wouldn't change any of my actions. She has gone her way and it seems I have run away. How odd.
I miss her greatly; her beautiful face and long hair, I long for the closeness we once shared. No more, no longer can I reach out and gently stroke her sleeping head. I miss her eyes and the way she would use them to examine life. Cool and calculating, she lived so honestly and tried to be so fair, I'm not sure what changed that. The way she left was hurried, scared, and uncharacteristically nervous. I'm not so sure it was just me; I know I brought about her indecision, but those cold harsh words were her own doing.
I wonder if she thinks of me, if she is trying to find me. I'm too nervous to know the truth, it's why I left. She made it clear that I wasn't welcome anymore, not alone anyway. Every time I tried to steal a moment, she would change and become cold and indifferent. There's so much damage, I fear it is irreparable, but know not because I left. I've been out here so long, I scarcely remember why and when I left. My last good memory is of being held that once in her arms, time stopped as we shared a stolen moment.
Our chaste kiss had fired a passion that I hadn't realized was there. Though it was me who broke the kiss, she was the one who reached for the next, one not so chaste and very enlivening. She made me feel more than I had previously thought possible as her friend. However, now I felt fire consuming me and thought it was the same for her. When we parted afterward, I was so sure something was off. She opened the door and unlocked the gates on both of our hearts. So why was it she was sending me home?
I'll never know, because my heart jumps violently into my throat when I try to call and ask. I feel each and every beat like thunder in my throat and chest, a coppery taste filling my mouth as I grind my teeth, trying to bite back the butterflies in my stomach. Her beautiful face carrying me through the long lonely nights. Given another chance on life, I wish it had never happened; that we had never returned, but my karma seems to lead to this lonely path, down this darkened road.
The biggest question, can I reconcile my deeds and find the courage to go home?