Black Soul
by Jasmin Kaiba
You're spinning, in an endless vortex of desire, loneliness, pain, loss... love, hate, belonging, hope, things you used to know, things you yearn for and know you can have if you'd just swallow your pride and jump over your shadow.
What makes you think you can live without really living? What you makes you think that you're different from all the others, you insufferable man? Why is it that your pride stands in the way of your happiness? Is it really worth it? Or is it only a farce?
Look at yourself in the mirror and tell me what you see. Because I see nothing, you're nothing, you're nothing at all and you know it. Your soul is empty, a black hole, sucking every feeling in it, never letting you feel what you yearn to feel. Your heart is cold and hard, you don't know how to think with it. For you your heart is muscle that keeps you alive and walking, just like the motors in those machines of yours keep them running.
But are you really a machine? Did Mazaki Anzu end up being right abut that one? No! You don't want that, you resent that, you reach out and yet nothing! You can't reach out for something that isn't there; there is no point of searching for lost memories when you'll never take them back...
Take back the words you told her, take back the sorrow you've caused her, take back all the pain that had been your fault and then, maybe then you'll stop spinning and she'll be there again. She'll be there to take you in her arms and tell you with her eyes just how much she loves, and maybe you can say 'I love you too, Anzu...'
But maybe not.
AN: Just a little drabble I felt inspired to write. Please tell me what you think.
Jas