+ELECTION DAY+

I ain't Satoshi Tajiri. Therefore, I don't own Pokemon. Yeah, that's about it. All bad grammar said by Sush is intended. And if you don't understand the Sush thing, please smack yourself. Hard.

"NOOOO!"

The ten year old male trainer cried rivers of tears as his friends (or so he called them) dragged him by his feet. He pounded his fists on the ground like a madman until he weakened and fell into an infant-like nap.

"Sorry Ash," said Misty. "We're taking you voting. It's any Kanto citizen's duty."

"But we're not old enough to vote," pointed out Brock. "I can read the "Must be 18 to Vote" signs with my eyes closed, y'know."

"Come on Brock," said Misty. "We haven't aged since the start of the series, but if we did we'd be at least old enough to vote."

"And drink?"

"Perhaps."

"Screw this then, I'm going to a bar and finding some girls!"

BWASH!

While Brock tended to his mallet-induced head-bump, Ash slowly became conscious. The young trainer stared blankly at his surroundings until he finally saw an egg on the ground. Misty and Brock were arguing over the importance of voting, so Ash ran off while Misty hit Brock over the head several times with the mallet.

A lone Pidgey flew by and crashed into a tree. The trainer grinned; the Pokemon was weak enough to be caught.

"POKEBALL GO!" Ash cried, tossing the ball. The red and white orb missed by ten feet and rolled down a hill and through a river. "Whoops."

If the disappointment of his accuracy wasn't enough, Ash soon realized that this particular Pidgey disliked humans. And that particular Pidgey had razor-sharp talons and an extremely pointy beak.

"HELP ME GUYS!" exclaimed Ash. He turned around to see that his friends had already left.

The large snake made entirely out of rocks thrashed at a large bee-like Pokemon. The Beedrill slammed into a wall and slumped to the darkened forest floor.

"Why did they put the polls in such a strange forest?" asked Brock. "No wonder nobody votes!"

"Be quiet!" shouted Misty. "I don't know about you, but I don't want to have President Sush re-elected!"

"We've decided to invades Johto!" announced Kanto president Sush. "Them legendary dogs are actin' all… weird. Us Kanto peoples don't like that. We gotsta stop them."

"You're right!" declared Brock. "We must fight our way through the demonic Pokemon of the polls!"

Brock's confidence shattered as soon as a gigantic Electabuzz fell from the sky. A helicopter pilot cursed under his breath and said into his microphone, "Damn! This rabid Electabuzz jumped out on us!"

"RAAR!" roared (What else?) the yellow beast. "BUZZ!"

"Um…" muttered Brock, "On second thought…do you even think… um…well…er…eh…"

BWAK!

The Pokemon punched Brock across the face. The squinting trainer slammed into a tree trunk, which shattered into bits of bark. As he landed back on the ground, he glared (Or at least tried to) at the Electabuzz.

"You're going down!" he shouted, running at the electric Pokemon. The disgruntled Electabuzz pushed Brock aside once more. "Damn it!"

Brock wasn't the only one being viciously pummeled by a Pokemon. The Pidgey refused to stop pecking Ash. At this time, the Pallet Town native was running for his life while bleeding from the back.

Under a hill, a group of three Shaman King-style spirit flames were reading a book titled "What is an Extremely Lame Crossover?" Their peaceful reading was cut off when an injured Pokemon trainer rolled down the hill.

"Shiny floaty things?" said Ash, staring blankly at the spirit flames.

"He's a decent person," the middle spirit commented. "Dumb as a rock, but still a decent person. I think. Oh well, I guess he's a shaman. Or something. I need to read the Spirit Flames for Dummies book again."

Ash picked up a spirit flame and ate it. He ignored the screams and continued to chew. A different spirit flew up to Ash and rammed into his head.

"Let go of Earl!" he shouted.

"Screw this," a voice from within Ash said. "I'll just possess the little moron."

Ash's expression was even blanker than it usually was. He walked up to the bird Pokemon and grinned.

"You think you can win?" Earl the spirit laughed through Ash. "You're going down."

Will the team of Ash and Earl the spirit defeat that evil Pidgey? Will Misty and Brock ever get to vote? Look out for Chapter 2!