Standard Disclaimers Apply

Warning: T for language & mention of nasty male and female parts ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

An eyebrow twitched.

"What's wrong, Sasuke-kun? You're not being very…maid-like right now."

If he could only smack that grin off her face…

"Come on," she purred. "Say it."

He merely glared at her.

Seeing that he was being stubborn, she sighed. "The faster you get this over with, the faster you can get out of the costume…which looks fabulous on you by the way." She let her eyes trail down his body, narrowing them when she got to his legs. The dress she had forced Sasuke to put on was a simple maid costume, but she had bought some thigh highs on the side to complement the outfit…and his legs too apparently.

Man, they were nicer than hers.

He glowered.

She snapped her attention back up and urged again. "Say it."

"…Welcome back…Master…"

She brightened up instantly. "Great! Now curtsey!"

He straight out snarled.

"Sheesh, someone's on their period. Just guide me to the dining room then."

He bit back his retort and showed her to his dining table, which she had definitely been to before and did not need any guiding whatsoever.

When they arrived, she glanced at him patiently. She began to tap her foot when she realized he wouldn't pull the chair out for her. "Well?"

He yanked it out.

She shrugged. That would have to do for now.

"Bring out the food," she commanded, eyes gleaming at the authority she currently had over him.

Gritting his teeth, he set off for the kitchen. He was back in a second with a plate of omurice and a ketchup bottle.

He placed them onto the table so roughly that it was a wonder the food didn't fall apart.

"You know you're gonna have to draw something on the egg for me…Draw a dick," she smiled sweetly.

"No."

Her smile turned into a pout, but she didn't let that demotivate her. "Fine, boobs then."

Sasuke looked at her incredulously. "No." Before she could request anything else, he quickly grabbed the ketchup bottle and squeezed the sauce onto the dish.

She watched as he worked, curious at what he would put. She was quickly disappointed though.

Fuck Y-

"Oh, hell no!" Sakura reached for the ketchup bottle, successfully snatching it from his grip. "Screw you, I'm getting my dick."

Something dropped by the hallway entrance.

"Uh…" a familiar voice stammered.

Sakura recognized it right away, so she ignored the newcomer in favour of completing her drawing of the male genitalia.

"Wait…I need to check…Sasuke-kun, let me see yours real quick."

"UH," the voice spoke up again, though this time more forcefully.

"Not now, Naruto. We're busy," she brushed off. "Sasu- quit squirming!"

"What the hell?! Stop, Sakura!" he demanded as he grabbed hold of her hands.

"But I need my dick!" she whined childishly.

Naruto couldn't take it anymore. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" he cried in an outburst. "WHY IS SASUKE IN A MAID COSTUME, AND WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO STRIP HIM, SAKURA-CHAN?"

They both finally decided to look at him.

"I'm just trying to finish my dick. What's so wrong about that?"

Oh God, Sasuke thought. This couldn't get any worse.

"What was that about a dick?" an older voice chimed in.

And it just did.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto called out, absolute horror stricken on his face.

"Wow, Naruto. You look like you've seen a gho- oh," he broke off quickly.

Just why did I give a spare key to everyone?

"I see you're busy. I'll take my leave then," Kakashi crinkled his eyes. Sasuke knew he was snickering behind his mask.

"See? Kakashi-sensei understands. Naruto, why can't you take a hint?" Sakura sighed. "Oh! Do you think Sensei would be willing to be my model?"

At that, Sasuke scowled. "No. Don't you dare."

She tilted her head up at him innocently. "No?"

"No," he repeated, voice firm with finality. "You can…you can use mine, so…"

Naruto gagged. "Yeah, okay. I'll leave now."

"Wait! Since you're already here, why not have a taste? I'm almost done, and now that I have a model…" She quickly pulled Naruto deeper into the room, seating him by the table. "Sit tight, okay? We'll be right back."

"Uh…"

In a flash, they disappeared upstairs.

When Sakura came down some minutes later, she was grinning from ear to ear.

"I got it. I'm a genius," she told herself. She reached for the ketchup bottle before squeezing out the sauce with determination.

"What are you…?" the blonde started.

"Shh! I'm a master at work here."

Within the next few seconds, it became clear to him just what she was drawing on the food.

"Sakura-chan…you don't expect me to eat that, do you?" he pointed to the unfortunately realistic drawing.

"Of course I do, silly!"

"Where's Sasuke?" he gulped. He did not want to be the only one suffering.

"Oh," she smiled slyly. "Don't worry. He won't be hungry for a while. Now eat up, I have to get back to work."

Before he could question what she meant by work, she had disappeared again.

"So mind telling me what happened yesterday?" Naruto brought up. "And while you're at it, explain to me why Sakura-chan served me omurice with a dick on it."

"Did you eat it?" Sasuke asked, dreading his answer. He didn't think he could stand the idea of Naruto eating a picture of his dick.

"I ate it, of course. I mean...I couldn't waste good food!" At the discomfort on Sasuke's face, he backtracked. "Wait...was that...did she draw...yours?"

The silence said it all.

"Oh...Oh man, I...I am so sorry."

An awkward silence ensued.

"I mean…I covered it with more ketchup so... I swear I didn't just eat your dic-"

Sasuke quickly shushed his friend with a hand. Staring hard into his eyes, he urged him to let the subject go -forever. Naruto nodded so fast his head could have fallen off.

When he finally let him talk again, the new subject didn't prove to be any better.

"So why were you dressed like that?"

He choked. He was hoping Naruto would forget that part, since he seemed so traumatized by Sakura and her obsession with the male anatomy.

"I lost a bet," he forced out through gritted teeth.

Naruto bursted out laughing, just like he knew he would. "Seriously? You lost to her? Wow, I never thought I'd live to see the day… So what was the bet?"

"To see who could draw the best vagina."

A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it! It was a little stress reliever from exams. We all need those, and mine just happens to be writing little perverted comedic relief oneshots. Review if you have the chance! I love reading those as stress relievers too! ^^