Remus John Lupin.

Ever since he was young all he knew was pain. Hot, white blinding pain, his father was a drunk and his mother was dead. He did have some memories from before the pain, before his mother died. Silly things like playing hide-and-go-seek in the garden or his father singing while he cooked, these where the memories that got him through the pain even if they where fuzzy and blurred around the edges. They got him through the pain because they reminded him of before that night, of when his father loved him and they were happy. They reminded Remus John Lupin of the times before he was made into the beast that is a werewolf.

That is one memory he wishes would fade or blur but it likes to haunt him, always coming back to torture him some more. He remembers it clearly as if it had only happened yesterday.

Flashback

A four year old Remus ran from his room, from the nightmare that woke him. He ran until he reached his parents bed and climbed on, waking his father in the processed.

"Son,what's wrong?" John Lupin asked when he saw the terrified look on his only child's face.

"Had bad dream,Da, monster's got me" the toddler sobbed as his dad pulled him to his chest in order to comfort him.

"Hush, Little One, there is no monsters here, Daddy's got you. I won't let anything get you, My little prince." John cooed to his son, "come, Remy, Daddy will show you there's nothing to be afraid of." With that John lifts his son and climbs from the bed placing the boy on his hip, looking at his sleeping wife for a moment before pulling on a pair of slippers and walking down stairs to the back garden.

"You see, my boy, night and dark are beautiful just like day and light. Night has it's own beauty, you hear the cricket's in the grass and the fox in the wood's? You have nothing to fear my little wolf, do you know why?" John asked his son in the hopes to chase his fears away. Remus looks into his daddy's amber eyes and smiles seeing the love and devotion in them, he lowers his head and looks up from beneath his dark eyelashes saying.

"I have nothing to fear for the wolf is a strong and powerful animal that can protect it's self or scare the monsters away and I am the strongest of them all because I have a family that love me." Little Remus knew this, his daddy had told this all his life but he was still little and needed to be reminded sometimes.

There was a noise from the bushes behind them and as John turned to see what it was, his amber eyes widen as he looked at his small son. He placed Remus on the ground and pushed him behind his legs.

"When I say run, I want you to go as fast as you can back to the house, you hear me little wolf?" John said as he cursed himself for not remembering the full moon. John felt Remus nod against his legs, just as he was about to tell his son to run he saw his wife come out the side door.

"LIZZIE GET INSIDE" John shouted as a huge grey werewolf came from behind the bushes, it's golden eye's locked on his wife. As the wolf charged at his wife John sent a blasting curse at it as he ran forward not noticing that his son was frozen on the spot with fear. Just as John reached Lizzie, the wolf was up again and charged but in the opposite direction.

"REMUS" Lizzie screamed, John turned to see the wolf topple the boy over and bite down on his left shoulder. 'NO' was all John could think as he heard his son's screams

"REMUS" Lizzie shouted again as she ran at the wolf.

John ran after her but it was too late the wolf turned and jumped on his wife ripping at her throat. John threw another blasting curse at it and it was flown across the yard, where it landed on it's paws and ran into the woods.

"John, . . . Love him enough for the both. . . of us, don't let. . . this change. . . Our sweet little boy." Lizzie gasped as her eyes closed and she took her last breath. John let out a heart-shattering scream as he looked at his dead wife, her long tawny hair matted with blood, her throat shredded covered in her own blood.

"Daddy?" John heard from the direction of his son. He walked over to see the gaping wound in his shoulder. "Daddy, monsters do exist in the night" Little Remus said as his eyes closed.

End Flashback

An eleven year old Remus sat at the table eating his breakfast as quickly as he could without looking rude. Today felt like a good day and he didn't want to ruin it by upsetting his, currently sober, father. His father became a drunk after that night, always drinking and beating on Remus, telling him how it was his fault and his childhood fears that got his mother killed. Remus knew that deep down his father didn't believe that and still loved him. He showed it whenever he was sober. It was only when he was drunk the Remus feared his father. Today John was sober but it was still early, Remus peeked up from under his lashes and longish tawny hair to look at his dad. John was reading the paper with an amused look on his face.

"Stop that,Little Wolf, I can feel your eyes on me" He said. Remus smiled, he knew today would be a good day just by the use of his old nickname. His father never used it anymore, not wanting a reminder of the monster his son had become, he would say.

"Sorry Da, was just wondering what's so funny?" Remus asked still watching from under his hair.

"Nothing son, was just thinking we need to get you a haircut" John laughed. Remus smile grew he loved his fathers laugh but he didn't hear it much anymore.

Just as Remus was about to answer, a owl flew in with mail. It landed in front of Remus taking a piece of bacon from his plate and holding it's leg with the letter on it out to him. Remus untied the letter looking at it funny, he never got mail.

"Are you just going to stare at it?" His father asked with a smile, Remus looked at his dad and then proceeded to open the letter.

Dear,

We are pleased to announce that you have been accepted to Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all books and equipment needed. Term begins September 1st, we await your owl no later than July 31st
Sincerely

Minerva Mcgonagall

Deputy headmistress

Remus stared dumbfound at the letter, 'he got it, but he was a werewolf' was all he could think.

"Don't look so shocked son, did I not tell you how the Black family petitioned for creatures to have the same rights as everyone else?" his father said.

"Umm. . . Yes but you never told me the outcome, I just guessed they didn't win" Remus replied still in shock.

"Oh! Well no, they won, sort of. Werewolf's and vampires have the same rights to school and work as long as they can keep everyone else safe." All Remus could do was nod, he never thought he would be able to go to school.

"How about we finish breakfast and then go get you school supplies?" John asked, Remus nodded again and finished his breakfast then got up from the table. "And son" Remus looked back at his father, "well done, you're mother would be proud." Remus left to get dressed with a smile on his face.