If any of you, honored readers, are curious towards the meaning of the words: 'Life sucks', you just have to ask Ranma Saotom

If any of you, honoured readers, feel curious towards the meaning of the words: 'Life sucks', you just have to ask Ranma Saotome of the Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu school of Martial Arts, also called Anything Goes Martial Arts, known by our hispanic friends as Artes Marciales Estilo Libre (exactly howdid the name of the school changed from «Indiscriminate Grappling» to «Anything Goes» to «Freestyle» Martial Arts, is not something this writer will ever understand). Feel free to choose. We are all talking about the same Ranma Saotome, anyhow. And, back to the original subject, his life definitely sucks.

Do you wonder why? Well, the answer, while easy, is not exactly simple. There are a near-infinite number of reasons. We could start with the terrible curse that afliges him: to be transformed into an incredibly attractive redhead –with a body that us real woman would die or, even better, kill for –whenever in contact with cold water. Or maybe it would be easier if I mentioned first being attacked by the countless enemies the boy seems to attract the way florescent lights attract flies. There are also the cats, pandas, mothers, his own lack of emotional maturity (the panda's fault)... And of course we mustn't forget to mention the bunch of nut cases who believe to have a right of ownership on him, harassing him and trying to seduce him using methods of doubtious origin and ethics. Of course that the fact that at the very least two of the aforementioned problems happen in the short span of less than a day, and that they repeat endlessly.

Therefore, it is understandable that Ranma Saotome goes to sleep every night muttering under his breath «Life sucks». And it was partially to convince him of the opposite that Akane Tendo, his reluctant fiancée –and the only one that has tried, and almost succeed to maintain some dignity in his presence –tried to do what she did. The fact that she was pretty tired of hearing Ranma call her an uncute violent tomboy –not that she wasn't a tomboy, but she was quitecute –might have had something to do. Hanging too much around the other fiancées and her older sister Nabiki (who was herself a fiancée for a while –experience that, fortunately, didn't last for more than a week) couldn't have hurted, either. But all of this doesn't explain what Ranma did afterwards. Truth be told, I personally don't know. But I'll leave it to you to figure that out. I'm just here to tell the story. Kind of.

Strawberry Kisses A Ranma ½ Fanfiction

Written by: Sanna Lan a.k.a. San-chan Reincarnated

That legal stuff I have to write: Ranma ½ is the intellectual property of the magnificent Takahashi Rumiko-sensei. The day Ranma or Akane or any of the other characters are mine, a purple rhino with blue dots will pass flying in front of my house wearing a tutu and dancing ballet, Hermione Granger will marry Harry Potter and I will support the Sukka pairing in A:TLA (that means never! Jamais! Don't even think about it!)

Notes by the authoress: Just so you know, this is my first fanfic and English isn't even my first language, so don't expect a best-seller, okay? This is just a one-shot. I want to thank Rairox64 and her Xiaolin Showdown fanfic Seduce for giving me the inspiration (this is what her fic might've looked like if she was on sugar high and a fan of both Ranma ½ and Douglas Adams' style). Also thanks to Soumyee for convincing me of rewriting/translating this. The dedication of this fic goes to my dear Anami-chan even if she can't understand English because it would just feel wrong if I don't dedicate her all of my Ranma ½ fics.

Akane will be somewhat OOC, but that's the point. And no, don't try to make any sense of it. My ego wouldn't be able to stand it if you succeded. Ready, set, go!

Despite of the previously mentioned problems, Ranma Saotome always seems to find some time to train. This is probably why he is the best martial artist of his generation in Japan, not to say in the whole world. So, even though he was tired, he went to the dojo to train after a specially heavy Thursday. Little did he know that somebody was already there, waiting for him.

"Hey, Ranma", a familiar voice said to him.

Akane was standing in the middle of the dojo, using a dress this authoress would prefer not to describe for the sake of the readers blood pressure (I'll just tell you it was red and very, very short), one hand on her hip while the other one was holding a small (small as in less than 2 inches) pink tube. Ranma's jaw dropped unceremoniously to the floor

"A-A-Akane...", he stuttered, picking up his jaw. "Wh-why are you dressed like that? Y-you ca-can't train in a dress" Why don'cha take it off, cutie?, added he more... adult (let's just call it like that for lack of a better word) part of his brain, whom was beaten to pulp by Akane's Protection Mental Squad –one of the four groups that form Ranma's Brain alongside the Food Brigade, the Martial Arts Organisation and the self-help group: United for the Preservation of My Butt.

"Oh, but I'm not here to train, Ranma", the girl said in a sensual voice that made the young man (because he was a man at the moment) shiver –and not only because of the fear. "I just came to show you something"

"Re-really?" an even more nervous Ranma asked. His fiancée's answer was a "Yes" so sexy that it almost sounded like a purr –almost, because had it really sounded like a purr, our poor, alurophobic protagonist would've been scared to death. She started to walk closer to him, waving her hips sensually.

The closer Akane got to him, the more nervous he became. The United for the Preservation of My Butt (UPMB) was working overtime trying to figure out the strange behaviour of the commonly denominated "uncute tomboy". What's going on?, he wondered. Why 'Kane's actin' so weird? Maybe she got replaced again? No fair! Why everyone's always doing this!? Can't they leave us alone just for once!?

Unfortunately, the main offices of the UPMB and those of the MAO (Martial Arts Organisation) chose that precise moment to catch fire, and it's workers were forced to take a vacation in the White Cells General Hospital –if you wish, you can use this as an excuse for our favorite aquatransexual's behaviour. The reason for said incident was that Akane had stop at exactly 6.3 inches of Ranma's face, causing an extreme rise in his body and facial heat.

"My new lip gloss", she said licking her lips slowly. "Mmmm... Strawberry"

Strawberry!?, the Food Brigade thought. I love straberry and she knows it!! No fair!! Want it! Want it! Waaaaant iiit!!

"So, what do you say? Wanna taste it?", she asked suggestively, getting another ¾ inches closer to her fiancé's face.

Taste it? What's she talkin' about? The young male martial artist spend over a minute trying to understand the meaning of his fiancée's words. Wai-wait a second... sh-she wants tha-that... she a-a-a-and me... that we...

Akane smiled inwardly as Ranma, after swallowing hard, nodded. Perfect. "Then close your eyes, Ranma"

Seeing how her fiancé complied, the girl started getting closer, placing one of her hands in the boy's chest while the other was holding the lip gloss, relishing every millimeter and every second that passed...

And there were 5 inches missing...

4 inches... So I'm not sexy, eh Ranma?

Only 3 inches... You don't seem to think that right now.

Just 2 inches, just 2 inches left... And now you're mine Ranma. All mine.

1 inch until the Grand Finale... What am I doing?

½inch aaaaand... Why has our playful heroine stopped? What's wrong with me? I'm acting like... Shampoo or Kodachi. What was I thinking? I'm not a bimbo. But I can't just leave him like this, but I can't kiss him either... What to do? What to do? Oh, that's why.

Akane was petrified, standing only 5mm close of her blissfully nervous fiancé's probably delicious lips, as the milliseconds that felt like hours ran like if they were in a marathon. Her eyes scanned quickly the dojo, looking for something that might help her get out of such an embarrassing situation, glancing briefly in Ranma's disturbingly close face. Then the sky metaphorically opened, and a disembodied hand à la Mickey Mouse descended, pointing to the troubled female –who's still a female after she gets wet, lucky girl –what could be the solution for her current problem.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Ranma's internal clock was ticking desperately as the boy wondered why was his not-so-reluctant-anymore fiancée was taking so long to give the coup de grâce –not that he knew such an elegant and french word. Suddenly, he felt how something grazed his lips slowly, something cold and slightly sticky and that definitely didn't feel like a pair of lips are supposed to feel.

Akane?, he thought, hearing a giggle come out of her supposedly delicious lips, What the hell...

"You can open your eyes now, Ranma" The boy opened his blueish eyes confusedly, to look how his fiancée's ones looked amused at him. Said fiancée giggled and Ranma, still half-shocked, took a hand to his lips, feeling in them a sticky substance. He tasted it, recognising a familiar flavor: Strawberry.

"Did you seriously think I was going to kiss you, Ranma?", she asked giggling. "You're so naïve. Oh, but you wanted to, didn't you? How strange, I thought I was just some kawaiikunai tomboy" Thanks goodness he didn't find out, I'd die of embarrasment. I can't let him know I actually wanted to kiss him, he'd just laugh at me.

Hearing that, something inside Ranma snapped (namely, some of the chains holding his adult side) and, before Akane had noticed, he had grabbed her shoulders and had her pinned against the wall. I think I might have gone a little bit too far, she thought, startled and a little scared by the raw fire she saw in his eyes.

"You're still a tomboy, Akane", he said in a hoarse voice that would make most women –including yours truly –turn into jelly. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to kiss you"

Before Ranma's words had even arrived to her brain, the youngest Tendo felt the young man's lips on hers, slowly tasting them. Surprised, she could only stand there petrified, enjoying the warmth of her fiancé's lips. Without quite knowing how, Akane kissed him back, tentatively at first, but with growing passion as Ranma slid his arms to her waist. She answered by enroscando her arms around his neck and nibbling softly his lower lip.

The kissed continued in such a way for a couple of minutes –or was it a couple of days? –untill the still-a-little-reluctant couple parted slowly, looking at each others eyes still unable to quite understand what had just happened. This time it was Akane who took a hand to her lips. He kissed me, she thought eloquently. Ranma kissed me... He kissed me, me, not another of his fiancées, me.

Ranma, on the other hand, was more than happy. I kissed her, he thought rivaling with his fiancé in matters of eloquence. I kissed her and she let me. Heck, she even kissed me back... God, who'd imagine Akane could kiss like that!

In that moment, the main offices of the UPMB had their Grand Reopening, and the not-so-unlucky-anymore boy realised that, as soon as Akane came out of her stupor, she'd probably hit him. Or ask for explanations he definitely wasn't ready to give. None of this options sounded particularly pleasant to him, so he decided a tactical withdrawal was the best solution.

Unable to wipe the silly grip off his face, Ranma ran out of the dojo and back to his room. Once he was out of his fiancé's reach, he slowed down, chuckling.

Mmmm... I love strawberry.

A\N: This is my first Ranma½ fic in English. I hope you guys liked it. Please leave your reviews makes irresistibly cute puppy face you know you can't resist I actually finished this about a month ago, but didn't dare to publish it. Flames will be appreciated, and used to roast marshmallows (I've been craving them for months). Constructive criticism will be used to improve my writing skills. Besides, I'll give you cookies if you do...