This was done purely because Candyland is a wonder, inspiring, and thoroughly sparkly author.

Surprise?

Damn those teenage hormones

Kuroba Kaito didn't think of himself as particularly perverted. His fantasies didn't contain (many) toys, only a healthy amount of restraints, and definitely no out-of-the-water kinks. He had once (by chance of course, he hadn't exactly been searching for porn) happened on a site proclaiming the virtues of paraphilia (well-documented with plenty of accompanying visual…s) of all things and, quite frankly, he had felt traumatized. It was also at that occasion that he had sworn that he would never again hit on a site just because the word sounded cool. Research first, then hit it. Research is your friend.

So he liked looking at breasts and girls' asses, but he thought that that was just normal. After all, he was a teenager, and peeking at girls in the shower was what teenager boys did. Especially when you could do it undetected. Oh, the virtues of being a phantom thief. Anyway.

He didn't think of himself as particularly perverted, however he was very much a teenager and he was very, very aware of that fact that that particular moment. Damn those teenage hormones, damn them to hell!

"Can you think of anywhere else you could have put it?" Aoko asked, leaning in a little further.

"No," Kaito answered in a voice several octaves higher than his normal voice. He wisely kept quiet about the fact that he was having a hard time thinking at all, with her breast pressed into neck. Didn't she know? Couldn't she guess? Or was the fact that he was a teenage boy, high on hormones and pheromones and god (and physicians) only knew what else just didn't enter her mind?

It didn't help any that while only one breast was pressing into his neck, the other was sort of resting on his shoulder. What had he done to deserve this torture? Maybe he should stop being the phantom thief. That might be it. Or sneaking into the girl's locker room after PE when most of them were still showering and everything was damp and wet and glistening.

Argh! Bad thought, bad time, bad Kaito, bad, bad, bad! DOWN DAMMIT!

Aoko shifted a bit and Kaito thought he might blow a fuse as he felt that incredibly soft and squishy thing shift against him. Oh, he was definitely going to hell for this. If nothing else, Aoko would send him there personally when she found out how he was reacting to her nearness. She was practically his sister! Damnit, no fair.

It wasn't even that Aoko was particularly big in that area, but she wasn't flat as a board either, and he never really cared for those overly voluptuous women anyway, they sort of scared him, actually, even if he as any teenage boy trying to fit in just marginally professed his admiration of said women, or rather their appendages, to any other guy in the classroom who cared to listen, and it wasn't like he was anyway, but for some reason you just got more Looks if you said you liked women with a small chest than you did if you made an entire cove of doves appear under every skirt in the hallway.

He blinked slowly, realizing the complete idiocy of rambling in his own head, but Aoko wasn't being fair damnit! She was pressing those absolutely perfectly sized, well-shaped breasts into his neck and it was all he could do to keep counting in French (he was currently at deux cent trente-et-un) to keep Kaito-kid down and unnoticeable and therefore un-kneed.

Deux cent trente-deux, deux cent trente-trois…

And he couldn't even tell her that she was poking him with her boobs because he had already been silent for so long, now if he said anything she would definitely accuse him of something he was only a little guilty in.

"Well, I can't find it and you can't find it. Maybe your mom can help you." And she finally, blessedly, relaxed back on her heels, relieving the pressure on his neck and the pressure on his mental stability.

Until her words sank in.

"NO! I am not asking my mom!" Triple exclamation mark, one, double exclamation mark, eleven, barbeque.

- - -

…Because you just know that's what Kaito would name it XD

I was originally gonna make him count in German, but I can count to all of three in German and so French was a little more fun. The numbers are supposed to be 231, 232, and 233, but it's been a long time since I had French in school XD

Also, it's not my impression that moms and teenage boys' bedrooms mix well XD

!!!1!!11bbq