Midgar High School!
Disclaimer-Do-hicky: Yeah, yeah. I KNOW ALREADY!!! GEEZ!!!! *. Stupid Squaresoftian lawyers. Grumble, grumble.* I do not own Midgar, the FF7 characters and/or Squaresoft! YOU CANNOT SUE ME!!! NOT EVEN IF YOU TRIED!!!!! Mwa ha, ha, ha.-
*Gets hit by flying briefcase thrown by annoyed Squaresoftian lawyer*
Gaian Skylord: *Fuming* WHY YOU EVIL, FILTHY SON OF A-.*Regains small shred of dignity* . Uh, Yeah. Soooo, I will now annoy-. Err.. I mean, entertain you by playing some very outdated elevator music!!! *Switches on boom-box*
Lawyers: NOOO!!!! NOT THE ELEVATOR MUSIC!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!! _____________________________________________________
What if your teachers were the characters from your favorite video game?! In this fanfic, you'll see the cast and crew of FF7 try (I should say 'fruitlessly attempt' but, that wouldn't be very nice now, would it?) to give a few random kids a DECENT secondary education (Don't worry! Things WILL go horribly wrong!! I guarantee it!!)! Now. Without further adieu!.
LET THE STORY BEGIN!!
It was Monday. The first day of school in the nicely rebuilt and OFFICIALLY UNEVIL Midgar city.
Teacher's lounge. 8:40 AM.
Everyone is in disarray.
Tifa: OH NO!! *Rummages through piles of papers and her " Many" folders frantically* I can't find my lesson plan!! Oh. Wait! Here it is! *Picks up a slightly crumpled napkin*
Aeris: My music sheets! Anyone seen my music sheets!! Anyone!!!
*Suddenly, Tifa looks strangely at the contents of the folder next to her, picks up two sheets of paper and glares at Aeris*
Tifa: What is your stuff doing in my folder?
Aeris: *Smiles innocently* Well. There was no more room near the coffee maker because Cloud, Cid and Barret camped out there to get the first cup of coffee in the morning, so I thought you wouldn't mind if I-
Tifa: Aeris. Please, don't touch my stuff!! You see this? This. *Waves arms around piles, towers, MOUNTAINS of folders* . Is all mine. Not yours! MINE! GOT IT! Good. Here are your music sheets.
Aeris: *Shakily takes them* .Thanks.
Tifa: *Her cheery self once more* You're welcome!
*Barret and Cloud emerge from the (immensely cluttered) back of the room*
Cloud *Yawning*: Morning, guys.
Barret: *More awake than Cloud* How ya'll doin' over there? Anyone else up yet?
Aeris: *Still afraid to speak* Uh. No?.
Tifa: Vincent's sleeping in his."Bed" as he calls it.Down in the basement. Sephiroth is up and standing quietly behind you, reviewing his art lesson plan and Red XIII is already at his English class. Cait Sith is "Supposedly" *Rolls eyes* at his Biology class which I chose not to believe and Yuffie isn't coming in.
Cloud: Why?
Tifa: Cuz. She took off with all our materia AGAIN and left a note *Holds up piece of paper* riddled with words I'm sure she learned from Cid!
Cloud: . Oh.-
*Suddenly, an enraged yell followed by a very (VERY) long string of profanities breaks the almost silence (and wakes everyone currently sleeping up). Seconds later, Cid barrels into the cleaner section of the room*
Cid: -THE COFFEE MAKER'S BEEN @#%&I'N DRAINED!!! I'M GONNA @#%&I'N KILL THE %@$#&^-@#%&I'N PIECE A @#%&I'N SH#T B@$#@%& WHO @#%&I'N DID IT WHEN I @#%&I'N FIND 'IM!!!! @#%&!!!!!
Barret: YO!!! Cid! We ain't got no coffee! I checked! CHILL!!!
Cid: Ah, @#%&!! Why didn't ya fr#@@i'n say so!! *Puffs on cigarette*
Barret: *Under breath* Stupid foo.
Cid: *Glares murderously at Barret* I HEARD THAT, YOU COFFEE STEALING B@$#@%&!!! *Takes out spear* YOUR @## IS MINE!!!
Barret: NOT IF I CAN HELP IT, FOO!!! *Points gun-arm and aims*
*Before a brawl breaks out (And both Tifa and Aeris begin to make bets on who will win), Cloud steps between the two*
Cloud: GUYS!!! CALM DOWN!!! REMEMBER WHY WE'RE HERE!!!
Cid: To get paid?
Barret: Free office supplies?
Cloud: NOO!!! THE KIDS!!!!! THE KIDS!!!!!!!
Cid + Barret: THAT'S B@##-S#%&!!!
*Silently, Vincent enters the room, lost in his lesson plan and talking with himself*
Aeris: Good morning, Vincent! How are you doing?-
Vincent: *Doesn't look up* Greetings, Mortal.
Aeris *To Tifa*: I really wish he would stop acting like a vampire and trying to kill us in our sleep!
Tifa *To Aeris*: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Sephiroth: *Angrily looking at lesson plan* Why am I, the great Sephiroth, stuck teaching Art to inferior lifeforms?!
Cid: *Shrugs* Cuz it takes a @#% up to know a @#%& up, don't it?
Barret: Got a point.-
Sephiroth: *Ignores them* I AM SUPERIOR TO YOU ALL!!! I AM DESTINED TO BECOME THE RULER OF THIS CENTER OF EDUCATION!!! I SHALL RULE THE SCHOOL!!! *Evil nerdy laugh*
Cloud: Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: Yes?
Cloud: Shut up
Sephiroth: Okay
Vincent: *Still talking to himself* Ahh. I must teach the ways of the vampire to the unsuspecting Mortals of this God-forsaken school of secondary education. The Dark Lords shall praise me for I will deliver more young souls unto them! Learned as I am in the ways of the night, it won't take long to convert them to evil-minded shells!! Soon, all shall be the children of the darkness!!! MWA HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!!
*Crickets chirp*
Cloud: *Big anime sweatdrop* .Vincent? .Uh, you're not a vampire. Drop the act.
Vincent: Oh! But I am! *Bares fangs*
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cid: HHHHHOOOOOLLLLLLYYYY SSSSSHHHHHIIIIITTTTT!!!!!
Cait Sith: *Shrugs* Well, it was kinda obvious, ya know! He does sleep in a. Coffin, after all! I mean. Well, he did when you found him!!
Cloud: . Yeah, I guess.*Does a double take* Hey! When did you get here?
Cait Sith: Been here for 'bout five minutes and, let me tell ya, the kids aren't gonna learn a thing except, maybe, a few new cuss words from a certain pilot WHO SHALL REMAIN ANNONYMOUS!!! *Looks directly at Cid, who grumbles something not to be heard nor repeated by younger children*
Cloud: Oh, yeah! That reminds me. I got word from the education bureau that says we can't use profanities around the students. That includes ALL of us. Cid?
Cid: 'Course I'll try but, it won't be @#%&i'n easy- Sh#t! I mean-
Cait Sith: -Yeah, exactly! *Gets a venomous look from Cid, ignores it* And don't get me started on Vincent Vampire Valentine-
Vincent: *Laughing insanely* Stupid Mortals!! You cannot begin to comprehend the shadowed elegance, the superior race of Dark Lords, creates! YOU CANNOT BEGIN TO FATHOM THE POWERS THEY POSSESS! YOU CANNOT-
*Aeris quietly walks over to Vincent and, hitting him over the head with her staff, knocks him out. Everyone is stunned except Cid and Cait Sith*
Aeris: *Looks down at Vincent* . Sorry. You were scaring me and I. Sorry Vincent.
Cid: That was @#%&i'n amazing! I mean, ya don't see sh#t like that every fr#@@i'n day!! Didn't think ya had it in ya, kid!
Cait Sith: I agree with Mr. Foul mouth there.*Cid glares at him*... Oh my gosh! *Shakily points to Vincent, who has begun to groan and rub his scarf- covered head* HE'S WAKING UP!! HIDE MEEE!!!!
*The toy moogle riding cat runs from the room, squeaking all the way*
Vincent: Ugh.*Sits up slowly* . What was I saying? Who or what hit me? Why is the sky blue???
Sephiroth: 1.) You belong to a cult of ritualistic vampires who want to steal people's souls and twist them to their evil will to please the Gods of Darkness. 2.) Aeris who, I have no idea how, was revived and 3.) Because life isn't fair. It should be a pleasant hue of decaying grey.-
Tifa: NO!!! A nice shade of pink!-
Cid: -H#LL NO!!! It'll ALWAYS be blue!!!!
Aeris: Violet is a nice colour! I vote violet!!
Barret: I agree wit' Cid! BLU'!!!
Vincent: Crimson is so fitting for the torment we've caused through pollution.-
Tifa: -PINK!!!! P-I-N-K!!!!!
Sephiroth: GREY!!!! DEAD GREY!!!!
Cid + Barret: IT'S @#%&I'N BLUE!!!!!
*Over the large amount of noise, Cloud hears a strange ringing sound that seems faintly familiar*
Cloud: Uh, guys.-
Aeris: *Takes in a deep breath*...................- VVVVVVVIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOLLLLLLLEEEEEEETTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
Tifa: PINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINK PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cloud: GUYS!! THE BELL JUST RUNG!!! WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!!!
All *In unison*: SHUDDAP!!!!!!!!
Cloud: *Looks at the ground* . Uh, yeah. Sorry..
*So all the teachers (Except for Red XIII) are late. What will happen in each of their classes? Will Cid be able to survive fifty minutes without cussing?? Will any of them survive long enough to eat lunch??? Find out in the next chapters of Midgar High!!!
Disclaimer-Do-hicky: Yeah, yeah. I KNOW ALREADY!!! GEEZ!!!! *. Stupid Squaresoftian lawyers. Grumble, grumble.* I do not own Midgar, the FF7 characters and/or Squaresoft! YOU CANNOT SUE ME!!! NOT EVEN IF YOU TRIED!!!!! Mwa ha, ha, ha.-
*Gets hit by flying briefcase thrown by annoyed Squaresoftian lawyer*
Gaian Skylord: *Fuming* WHY YOU EVIL, FILTHY SON OF A-.*Regains small shred of dignity* . Uh, Yeah. Soooo, I will now annoy-. Err.. I mean, entertain you by playing some very outdated elevator music!!! *Switches on boom-box*
Lawyers: NOOO!!!! NOT THE ELEVATOR MUSIC!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!! _____________________________________________________
What if your teachers were the characters from your favorite video game?! In this fanfic, you'll see the cast and crew of FF7 try (I should say 'fruitlessly attempt' but, that wouldn't be very nice now, would it?) to give a few random kids a DECENT secondary education (Don't worry! Things WILL go horribly wrong!! I guarantee it!!)! Now. Without further adieu!.
LET THE STORY BEGIN!!
It was Monday. The first day of school in the nicely rebuilt and OFFICIALLY UNEVIL Midgar city.
Teacher's lounge. 8:40 AM.
Everyone is in disarray.
Tifa: OH NO!! *Rummages through piles of papers and her " Many" folders frantically* I can't find my lesson plan!! Oh. Wait! Here it is! *Picks up a slightly crumpled napkin*
Aeris: My music sheets! Anyone seen my music sheets!! Anyone!!!
*Suddenly, Tifa looks strangely at the contents of the folder next to her, picks up two sheets of paper and glares at Aeris*
Tifa: What is your stuff doing in my folder?
Aeris: *Smiles innocently* Well. There was no more room near the coffee maker because Cloud, Cid and Barret camped out there to get the first cup of coffee in the morning, so I thought you wouldn't mind if I-
Tifa: Aeris. Please, don't touch my stuff!! You see this? This. *Waves arms around piles, towers, MOUNTAINS of folders* . Is all mine. Not yours! MINE! GOT IT! Good. Here are your music sheets.
Aeris: *Shakily takes them* .Thanks.
Tifa: *Her cheery self once more* You're welcome!
*Barret and Cloud emerge from the (immensely cluttered) back of the room*
Cloud *Yawning*: Morning, guys.
Barret: *More awake than Cloud* How ya'll doin' over there? Anyone else up yet?
Aeris: *Still afraid to speak* Uh. No?.
Tifa: Vincent's sleeping in his."Bed" as he calls it.Down in the basement. Sephiroth is up and standing quietly behind you, reviewing his art lesson plan and Red XIII is already at his English class. Cait Sith is "Supposedly" *Rolls eyes* at his Biology class which I chose not to believe and Yuffie isn't coming in.
Cloud: Why?
Tifa: Cuz. She took off with all our materia AGAIN and left a note *Holds up piece of paper* riddled with words I'm sure she learned from Cid!
Cloud: . Oh.-
*Suddenly, an enraged yell followed by a very (VERY) long string of profanities breaks the almost silence (and wakes everyone currently sleeping up). Seconds later, Cid barrels into the cleaner section of the room*
Cid: -THE COFFEE MAKER'S BEEN @#%&I'N DRAINED!!! I'M GONNA @#%&I'N KILL THE %@$#&^-@#%&I'N PIECE A @#%&I'N SH#T B@$#@%& WHO @#%&I'N DID IT WHEN I @#%&I'N FIND 'IM!!!! @#%&!!!!!
Barret: YO!!! Cid! We ain't got no coffee! I checked! CHILL!!!
Cid: Ah, @#%&!! Why didn't ya fr#@@i'n say so!! *Puffs on cigarette*
Barret: *Under breath* Stupid foo.
Cid: *Glares murderously at Barret* I HEARD THAT, YOU COFFEE STEALING B@$#@%&!!! *Takes out spear* YOUR @## IS MINE!!!
Barret: NOT IF I CAN HELP IT, FOO!!! *Points gun-arm and aims*
*Before a brawl breaks out (And both Tifa and Aeris begin to make bets on who will win), Cloud steps between the two*
Cloud: GUYS!!! CALM DOWN!!! REMEMBER WHY WE'RE HERE!!!
Cid: To get paid?
Barret: Free office supplies?
Cloud: NOO!!! THE KIDS!!!!! THE KIDS!!!!!!!
Cid + Barret: THAT'S B@##-S#%&!!!
*Silently, Vincent enters the room, lost in his lesson plan and talking with himself*
Aeris: Good morning, Vincent! How are you doing?-
Vincent: *Doesn't look up* Greetings, Mortal.
Aeris *To Tifa*: I really wish he would stop acting like a vampire and trying to kill us in our sleep!
Tifa *To Aeris*: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Sephiroth: *Angrily looking at lesson plan* Why am I, the great Sephiroth, stuck teaching Art to inferior lifeforms?!
Cid: *Shrugs* Cuz it takes a @#% up to know a @#%& up, don't it?
Barret: Got a point.-
Sephiroth: *Ignores them* I AM SUPERIOR TO YOU ALL!!! I AM DESTINED TO BECOME THE RULER OF THIS CENTER OF EDUCATION!!! I SHALL RULE THE SCHOOL!!! *Evil nerdy laugh*
Cloud: Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: Yes?
Cloud: Shut up
Sephiroth: Okay
Vincent: *Still talking to himself* Ahh. I must teach the ways of the vampire to the unsuspecting Mortals of this God-forsaken school of secondary education. The Dark Lords shall praise me for I will deliver more young souls unto them! Learned as I am in the ways of the night, it won't take long to convert them to evil-minded shells!! Soon, all shall be the children of the darkness!!! MWA HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!!
*Crickets chirp*
Cloud: *Big anime sweatdrop* .Vincent? .Uh, you're not a vampire. Drop the act.
Vincent: Oh! But I am! *Bares fangs*
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cid: HHHHHOOOOOLLLLLLYYYY SSSSSHHHHHIIIIITTTTT!!!!!
Cait Sith: *Shrugs* Well, it was kinda obvious, ya know! He does sleep in a. Coffin, after all! I mean. Well, he did when you found him!!
Cloud: . Yeah, I guess.*Does a double take* Hey! When did you get here?
Cait Sith: Been here for 'bout five minutes and, let me tell ya, the kids aren't gonna learn a thing except, maybe, a few new cuss words from a certain pilot WHO SHALL REMAIN ANNONYMOUS!!! *Looks directly at Cid, who grumbles something not to be heard nor repeated by younger children*
Cloud: Oh, yeah! That reminds me. I got word from the education bureau that says we can't use profanities around the students. That includes ALL of us. Cid?
Cid: 'Course I'll try but, it won't be @#%&i'n easy- Sh#t! I mean-
Cait Sith: -Yeah, exactly! *Gets a venomous look from Cid, ignores it* And don't get me started on Vincent Vampire Valentine-
Vincent: *Laughing insanely* Stupid Mortals!! You cannot begin to comprehend the shadowed elegance, the superior race of Dark Lords, creates! YOU CANNOT BEGIN TO FATHOM THE POWERS THEY POSSESS! YOU CANNOT-
*Aeris quietly walks over to Vincent and, hitting him over the head with her staff, knocks him out. Everyone is stunned except Cid and Cait Sith*
Aeris: *Looks down at Vincent* . Sorry. You were scaring me and I. Sorry Vincent.
Cid: That was @#%&i'n amazing! I mean, ya don't see sh#t like that every fr#@@i'n day!! Didn't think ya had it in ya, kid!
Cait Sith: I agree with Mr. Foul mouth there.*Cid glares at him*... Oh my gosh! *Shakily points to Vincent, who has begun to groan and rub his scarf- covered head* HE'S WAKING UP!! HIDE MEEE!!!!
*The toy moogle riding cat runs from the room, squeaking all the way*
Vincent: Ugh.*Sits up slowly* . What was I saying? Who or what hit me? Why is the sky blue???
Sephiroth: 1.) You belong to a cult of ritualistic vampires who want to steal people's souls and twist them to their evil will to please the Gods of Darkness. 2.) Aeris who, I have no idea how, was revived and 3.) Because life isn't fair. It should be a pleasant hue of decaying grey.-
Tifa: NO!!! A nice shade of pink!-
Cid: -H#LL NO!!! It'll ALWAYS be blue!!!!
Aeris: Violet is a nice colour! I vote violet!!
Barret: I agree wit' Cid! BLU'!!!
Vincent: Crimson is so fitting for the torment we've caused through pollution.-
Tifa: -PINK!!!! P-I-N-K!!!!!
Sephiroth: GREY!!!! DEAD GREY!!!!
Cid + Barret: IT'S @#%&I'N BLUE!!!!!
*Over the large amount of noise, Cloud hears a strange ringing sound that seems faintly familiar*
Cloud: Uh, guys.-
Aeris: *Takes in a deep breath*...................- VVVVVVVIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOLLLLLLLEEEEEEETTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
Tifa: PINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINK PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cloud: GUYS!! THE BELL JUST RUNG!!! WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!!!
All *In unison*: SHUDDAP!!!!!!!!
Cloud: *Looks at the ground* . Uh, yeah. Sorry..
*So all the teachers (Except for Red XIII) are late. What will happen in each of their classes? Will Cid be able to survive fifty minutes without cussing?? Will any of them survive long enough to eat lunch??? Find out in the next chapters of Midgar High!!!