It's been a while, hasn't it? First of all, I wanted to make a somewhat festive GrimmIchi fanfic, and this seemed like the most decent idea that I've had in about a month, and in turn, this little gem was born. It kind of wrote itself at first but I then struggled to get motivated to actually sit down and finish it (woops), but I'm glad that I stuck with it. I was inspired by the songs 'Coming Home' by Skylar Grey and 'Payphone' by Maroon 5. Yaoi, so if you don't like, please don't flame/comment etc. Please review/like/favourite/follow and all that jazz. I accept constructive criticisms so if I have forgotten to mention something that's left a plot hole, leave a message. If you also have an idea of ways that I can improve my writing, a message saying how would also be greatly appreciated. I apologise for this being a belated Christmas fanfic, but I hope you all had a Merry Christmas/Happy Holiday and I hope you have a very Happy New Year. With that being said, sit back, relax, enjoy and let's get the show on the road.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters, nor do I own the songs that are mentioned above - but I do love both songs and thought of them as befitting titles for the story and first chapter.
I'm Coming Home
Chapter 1 – The Payphone
The cold winter wind blew harshly outside against the surprisingly thin metal that made up the payphone's run-down and unappreciated exterior. Inside was just as bad, if not worse. Each and every wall of the small box was decorated with either slowly aging flyers from various takeaway places, colourful but wasted graffiti and the occasional curse word that was scrawled in some sort of chicken-scratch excuse of his or her handwriting on the windows or surfaces that made up the payphone's interior. I sighed once, knowing full-well that the only reason as to why I had forced myself to even stand in the cramped, stomach-churning payphone in the first place, was to make a phone call that quite frankly, I would have liked to avoid at all costs. I would have been lying if I said that I felt like my usual self right there and then. I wasn't apprehensive, just anxious as to how this one particular phone call could turn out, and I knew that the anxiety was only just a mask behind the porcelain layer of dampened spirits that currently plagued my every waking moment. I slowly reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my slowly dying phone and some loose change that I had kept from God knows where. In the palm of my hand lay a couple of one-pound coins, a crinkled bank note and various silver and bronze, small change.
Wasting very little time at all, I chose to use two of the few one-pound coins that I had on me and slotted them both into the machine. I didn't expect to get any small change back; in fact, by the time I picked up the phone that originally belonged to the payphone, found the one contact that I was after stored safely in my phone and dialled the numbers that belonged to the one person that I desperately wanted to hear from, but didn't want to call at that particular point intime for I knew that it would only dishearten me more when the conversation would finally end, my breathing had gotten a little harsher. It remained harsh, almost dry and raspy as the dialling tone echoed through the slowly-breaking phone and into my ear. I think for possibly the first time in a while, I felt a similar emotion that closely resembled to being truly alone. It's not hard for someone feel truly alone, even if they are surrounded by a sea of people, and it was only until there came a familiar voice on the other side of the phone that, for the first time since I had entered the payphone, my mind had drawn a blank on me, right when I needed it the most.
"Hello?" That one word alone was enough to temporarily set me back by a couple of seconds. His voice sounded tired, as if he had just walked through the door after a busy day at work only to hear the phone ring for God knows how many times throughout the day. The word itself wasn't fuelled by any venom; if anything, it sounded curious. I knew all-too well that that might be the case for him, or for anyone. Naturally if someone was to call you on an unfamiliar number, the recipient would be a little tense; I knew that I would be. I breathed once; I knew that since the conversation had started mere seconds ago, my breathing had become almost irregular, almost to the point where it had started to sound broken.
"It's me" I gulped once before I spoke. I tried to remain calm but the truth of it all was crystal clear. I was uneasy. I didn't want to be someone who couldn't keep their emotions under control, but right there and then, as time ticked on at an agonisingly slow pace, the emotions that I desired to keep strictly under lock and key had started to arise to the surface like a bubble on the water.
"Ichigo? I'm so glad to hear from you. Is everything okay? How are you? Are you sure you're alright, living in the apartment alone whilst I'm away on this business trip?" the familiar voice proceeded to ask quickly. If I felt even a fraction like myself, I would have scoffed to myself, but I couldn't. Not right there and then.
"Woah, one question at a time, alright?" I responded. The aim of the conversation, particularly on my part, had been to keep it as light as possible. Under normal circumstances, I would feign a smile and possibly a laugh. I knew that whatever I said would only sound forced. For a split second, I looked out of the payphone's window, as if to keep my eye on the outside world. Not only had the wind grew harsher, but it had started to snow gently. I groaned inwardly and felt myself scowl at the predicament that I was in. It was bad enough that Grimmjow wasn't by my side but what added insult to injury was the fact that I never liked the winter season. To me, it always felt cold and miserable, and today of all days seemed to reinforce my disdain for the season.
"Ichigo, are you still there?" the voice questioned. The voice itself worried, as if he still tried to connect with me even after I had hung up and left the area.
"I'm here, Grimmjow. Sorry, just got distracted" I replied solemnly. It was the truth. I had gotten distracted. I knew that I wanted Grimmjow beside me, by me, but with him being near enough halfway around the world, it had taken its toll on the pair of us. He was everything that I wasn't, and everything that I needed, or at least what I thought I needed. Now, I wasn't so sure. Since Grimmjow had travelled to Berlin under the excuse of a 'business trip' over a month ago, I hadn't felt like myself. Under normal circumstances, he would go to work whilst I went to college, and in the evenings, we would cook together, eat together and just relax and talk to one another. Our relationship was far from perfect, but for me, it was more than enough. All I wanted was for Grimmjow to come home, for him to come back to me.
"It's cool. Listen, there's something I've got to tell you. I might not be home for Christmas" Grimmjow slowly replied. Sadness had filled his voice when he spoke, and for a split second, it felt lonely to know that he wouldn't spend Christmas with me. I desperately wanted to say something along the lines of 'It's okay' or 'It's not your fault'. I couldn't say it. It hurt to even think about it there and then. The news was dropped like a bombshell, and I knew that my family wouldn't take it lightly. Since I had starting dating Grimmjow, my family had been supportive about a lot of things, and since then, they had quickly taken Grimmjow in as another member of the family. I remember being happy and relieved about it at first, although slightly annoyed about the fact that Dad practically ran up to the memorial poster of Mom, saying something about how I had grown up and become a man, how Grimmjow and I were going to be together forever and how we would provide the man with grandchildren. Needless to say, it resulted in me beating some sense into the idiot of a man. I couldn't help but scoff to myself at the memory. It was only when I looked out of the payphone's window that I remembered what Grimmjow had said to me just then. Everything around me suddenly felt very cold and lonely. "Ichigo? Is something wrong?" Grimmjow asked, his voice plagued with worry. I nodded, knowing full-well that he wouldn't be able to see my answer.
"I understand. These things happen. It sucks, but hopefully you'll be home soon" I said slowly. I couldn't mask the pain in those words, and I knew that Grimmjow would pick up on it as soon as he heard it. I heard him sigh on the other end of the conversation.
"Yeah, it sucks. If I had the option, I'd get on the next plane home just to be with you. You know that, right?" Grimmjow asked. Something about those words made me feel a little better, but I knew that against all odds, realistically-speaking, Grimmjow might not make it home in time for Christmas. Every day that I spent away from Grimmjow just didn't feel right, and I dreaded to think about how I would feel when the twenty-fifth of December rolled around. Just thinking about it there and then was enough to make me feel uneasy, almost to the point where I started to feel sick to my stomach.
"I know you would, but we'll see each other soon. If you do happen to come home earlier than planned, remember that I'll be over at Dad's place on the twenty-fifth. Yuzu said that she'd cook extra just in case you show up on the day" I smiled somewhat discretely to myself. Something about having Grimmjow on the other side of the conversation eased any feelings of anxiety or unease a little bit, but it was only when I looked out of the payphone's window that my small and somewhat surreal smile vanished, and left me with a feeling that closely resembled Loneliness.
"I know. I'll try to be back before then, but I can't promise anything, Ichigo. This trip's already taken its toll on me. I keep thinking about you when I should be working, and I feel alone whenever I try to sleep at night. I miss you like crazy" Grimmjow sighed heavily, as if he was annoyed about being however many miles away from me. I could understand; I felt exactly the same way. "Listen, I've got to go. There's some stupid meeting that I have to go to. I'll call you tomorrow at some point. See you soon, Ichigo" Grimmjow explained. It sounded like his words pained him, and in a sense, it pained me as well. We both knew that the chances of Grimmjow being home early for Christmas were slim to none, and I was almost positive that the pair of us tried to mask how we truly felt about the situation to our friends. However, behind closed doors, it wasn't easy to keep upbeat about the situation. I was about to reply but the phone cut out. All that echoed through my ear was the monotonous resting tone that the phone held. The snow outside the payphone continued to fall and it seemed to fall heavier and heavier by the second. I stood there in the booth; the phone still pressed against my ear. A part of me longed to hear Grimmjow, even if it was just for a second longer. His voice never came. Begrudgingly, I hung the nearly-broken phone back on itself. I wasn't prepared for the short trek back to the apartment that I shared with Grimmjow but something about being in the payphone for longer than originally planned had made me determined not to stick around any longer. With that mind set, I quickly left the payphone and walked away. It didn't matter where I walked; the heavy heart that lay in my chest right there and then seemed to want to beat to a different rhythm altogether. One that I was unaware of. A lonely beat.