Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. Don't sue.
[A/N: This story starts near the end of Haunted, after Suze learns that Jesse is moving to the Rectory...and Paul finds her in the Mission's breezeway]
I won't deny it. I wanted him to kiss me. There wasn't a nerve in my body that didn't want him to. I closed my eyes and tilted my head so our mouths were just the tiniest bit closer, drawn in by the almost magnetic force Paul had about him. But at the last moment, I checked myself. What am I doing? I'm not in love with Paul Slater! I opened my eyes and drew back, biting my lip. I don't love Paul Slater! Right? I thought again, a little less certain as I saw the way he was looking at me with those gorgeous blue eyes. "Oh God, Paul. I can't." I said, my voice sounding strange and distant, even to me. Paul groaned.
"Suze, when are you going to stop fighting this? When are you going to stop fighting me? I'm standing here in front of you, telling you I want you. I want to be with you, Suze." I turned my head away, still biting my lip, not wanting him to see that his words had hit home. I knew that Jesse didn't love me, didn't want me. But did that make it OK to like Paul? I couldn't think. It was as if my brain had shut down. The only thing I was aware of was Paul, how close he was to me, how much I wanted to fall into his arms and let him hold me.
"I want—I...I can't." I said again, stumbling over the words as if it took a tremendous amount of work to get them out. Which it did. Those were not the words I wanted to say. What I wanted to say was—well, I didn't know exactly, but I knew it wouldn't be smart to say anything to Paul that could encourage him. I might find myself falling in love with someone who I most definitely shouldn't.
"I have to go." I managed to choke out, but before I even took a step, Paul caught me by the wrist and pulled me—not forcibly, exactly, but firmly—towards him. Suddenly, I found myself in Paul's arms, kissing him. Yet again. He was completely right, too. I had been fighting my feelings toward him. But what, exactly, were my feelings toward him? Lust, certainly, but love? Was I in love with Paul? At the moment, I didn't know or care. I was lost in his eyes, his lips, his body. He leaned me up against the column we had been standing by, deepening the kiss. My whole body felt like it was on fire, and his touch sent shivers down my spine. I don't know how long we stood there, lost in each other's arms, but suddenly the hall was filled with people, staring and whispering. Oops, I thought. Class is out. I heard little snippets of conversation starting as I leaned against the column, Paul still on top of me.
"Aren't they running against each other?"
"They're both running for vice president—" And then I heard a voice next to us say, "Paul? What are you doing?" It was Kelly Prescott. Paul reluctantly turned away from me and looked at Kelly like she was dumb. "I'm kissing Suze. Now can you leave us alone?" I'm sorry to say this, but I felt a little proud at that statement. I was kissing the best looking guy in school, the guy that every girl, even Princess Kelly, dreamed about having. But they couldn't have him, because he wanted me. Me, ordinary old Suze Simon. What did it matter if I didn't like him back? But wait, maybe I did...I turned his head back so he was facing me again. His eyes were bright and sparkling, and his hair was messed up where I had run my fingers through it.
"Now, where were we?" he asked, leaning closer.