(A/N: This story is connected to 'Sunrise')
I felt a flash of lust that went straight for my loins and knew immediately that something bad was going to happen. I could usually control this power of mine, but as of late I had very little control over it. Any feeling the others felt I felt as well, I couldn't keep it at bay. I felt so powerless. Edward didn't know of my slipping control since I controlled my thoughts around him.
I tried to push away this...desire, but it did no good. I began to breath heavily, trying to clear my mind. That just made it worse. I caught the sent of Rosalie, and began to think of ways to convince her to relieve me of this almost physical pain. Alice was gone, she went hunting with Emmett, so I had no other way to get rid of the feelings bottled up inside me.
I was next to Rosalie in less than a second, already using my influence on her. She didn't fight it, really, in a way she almost...welcomed it with open arms. I forced most of the desire that was coming from Edward and Bella onto her and her eyes darkened from lust.
It wasn't until later, when I could think clearer, that I realized what I'd just done. A huge mistake. I could tell that this was not going to have a happy ending. I jerked away from Rosalie, and her mind cleared, all feelings of desire gone. She knew as well as I that what we'd done was going to have major consequences.
Both of us headed for the body of water next to the house. The smell was going to have to be scrubbed off, if we were going to try to keep it a secret.
When we got rid of all of the evidence the sun was already setting. It told us that Alice and Emmett were on their way back.
I shuddered. I knew that if Emmett ever found out that I was most likely to be ripped apart.
I then forced my thoughts away from the event that had taken place and onto other things, things less...trivial.
I heard oncoming footsteps and knew that they had arrived.
Alice was going to be devastated. That thought kept repeating in my mind, battering at me.
When I saw her break through the trees All I could see was the look of happiness on her face at the sight of me, her happiness was all I could feel, almost none of the other feelings around me could even begin to penetrate the force of her happiness. The guilt radiating from Rosalie rivaled the force from the sheer joy radiating from the love of my life.
I watched, a pained look on my face, as she skipped towards me. She stopped just short of me. The smile plastered on her face was going to be ripped off soon, it was only a matter of time now.
She giggled.
"Hi Jasper, miss me?" I forced a grin and nodded. It was then that she leaned in to kiss me.
I knew the exact moment that she had the vision. In that single moment, her feelings shifted abruptly, from joy to confusion to rage to sadness. I knew she was crushed. She ripped her mouth off of mine, her eyes wide.
I was filled with worry, unsure of how she would react. I took a step forward and she ran. Turned and ran from me. From the pain, from everything.
"Alice!" I called after her, but her running never faltered a step. She kept running.
All I could feel was depression.
"What's wrong with Alice?" Emmett asked but neither Rosalie or I answered.
Rosalie had the feelings of an overwhelming sadness, which contributed to how horrible I felt. I knew she regretted what we'd done as much as I did. Emmett was the one, the only one, she could and would ever love. Such were the feelings I had for Alice.
I couldn't blame her. I knew she had every right to be mad at me, even despise me for what I'd done.
If only I'd talked to Edward about my ability and it taking more strength to keep it under control.
If only I wasn't do damned secretive about things.
If only I'd gone hunting with Alice, instead of staying here to wait because I still had some time before I got ravenous.
If only...
I sighed.
The sun had officially set.