Tris's P.O.V.
Why is it that everytime I turn around someone else hates my latest descion. Why can I go hang out with a friend, the next day come back and hear that the girl called me rachet or a slut, when really all I want is to fit in the crowd. Why can't I fit in with a group of people as easily as one of the guys can? What makes me different, unable to fit into one place.
I have a boyfriend, his name is Tobias. I like him a lot, but Im not sure the feeling is reciprocated. I have friends, but they all kinda turn on me day- to- day. Its this on going struggle internally if people think I'm ok sense I have a normal social status, and thinking I've lost it and I'm boy crazy and to involved in myself.
The thing is I act like everyone else, I play sports, although i'm not great it gives me something to look forward to, and work harder at. I hang out with my "friends", have the same feelings toward the most popular things in life, everyone likes to think I'm this crazed martin from an alien planet out to ruin there lives with the push of a button. I have had a few boyfriends, sometimes I wish I didn't though I ruined a friendship but I did. I kinda ruin everything though, thats another reason people don't really like me.
I feel disconnected from people,the think I'm boy crazy, mainly because I absolutley hate hanging out with girls, guys are just...less difficult, unless your in a relationship, then that creates a wall of discomfort from his friends. Leaving me 100% isolated. I never wanted to be the same as other people, simply I just wanted to fit in, but somethings arent always going to go as planned.