A/N: I don't own A:TLA, its characters or anything else from its universe.

An unnamed man banged his fist on the oily mahogany table filling most of the room.

"She must marry now, given her position as a Princess of the Southern Water Tribe! It is essential for her Honor!"

Zuko perked up at the mention of Honor.

Katara, descended from a woman who had run away from her home and everyone she had known because of an arranged marriage in middle of a century-long war to the other side of the world, and who had challenged the pre-eminent waterbending master in the north to a duel because of his misogyny, acquiesced wordlessly to the proposal despite the elimination of the possibility of marrying a certain young airbender she had long had romantic inclinations for, indubitably proving herself to be the timid, demure and unargumentative person she had very clearly been during the war.

"Oh, but who shall I marry?" she asked breathlessly.

While Hakoda moved to object to the characterization of his family as being royalty, Zuko, who was sitting next to Mai across the roundtable, stood up and declared his Honorable Intentions.

"For the sake of maintaining my Honor, for the good of the world and for all that true and just, I humbly offer the other side of my bed as a sacrifice."

Mai stood up right after her husband had concluded speaking. "I accept this plan. If I were to stay with Zuko, I would inevitably be killed by a deranged Fire Nation Princess, die in childbirth, or be assassinated by a pair of jealous ninjas." Hmm, I wonder who those ninjas are. Oh, wait! By Agni! It's the same pair who - it's Zuko and Kat-

But it was too late for Mai. Zuko nodded to her and she was consumed by a puff of steam, hopefully never to be mentioned in the story again.

Katara and Zuko glanced at each other nervously, their shared secret hanging between them in the stuffy air - no wait, steam.

Suddenly, the almighty Avatar finally grew a backbone and roared angrily at the travesty occurring before him.

"Does anyone realize that I AGE!? People keep saying that I'm too young for Katara, but if we wait a few years to be married, like most normal people do, then the difference matters less and less! Do you guys have any idea of how humans mature?! I've been in love with Katara my whole life, and..." Aang paused when Katara suddenly dropped her head against the table with a loud *thunk*, her usually angelic face marred by a trail of drool.

"Hey, who spiked her tea?" Aang shot a rare glare at their caterer, Iroh, who shrugged nonchalantly.

"Well, true love always finds a way."

Toph giggled girlishly, while Sokka suddenly felt an urge to check his cactus juice stash to see if any had been siphoned off.

"Alright Zuko...it's just you and me."

Zuko's usually fierce scowl had dissolved into one of unconstrained horror. "Um..." Zuko's gaze darted nervously from side to side as Aang continued to glare at him.

"I challenge you..."

Zuko's mind was reeling. He was only one for three in his last three Agni Kais, and he knew that Aang hated him with all his guts, not only for trying to steal Katara from him, but more importantly for stealing her necklace, which he hadn't thought of buying an insurance policy for yet, given how precious it was for everyone involved.

"...to a Pai Sho match."

After the game, Aang clapped the trembling, traumatized Firelord on his back.

"Hey, good game. I know you've probably heard this before, but one of the greatest things I admire about you is your persistance. Even when you knew that-"

"Aang, I really appreciate it, but I need to go make things up with Mai. Can we talk about this later?"

"Alright...but how are you going to find her? I thought she fell into a plot hole, and you know how those are..."

The Elegant Fire Nation Noble Mai suddenly reappeared by the Honorable Fire Lord Zuko, hopefully as something other than an afterthought put in to assuage readers finding her characterization to be reminiscent of character-bashing.

"Mai! I'm sorry for leaving you for the...what, third time? I hope you'll forgive me!" Zuko seemed torn between being ecstatic with her sudden re-materialization and throwing himself on the ground in yet another tearful apology. His distraught expression and naked shame was so clearly written on his face that Mai couldn't help but welcome him back with open arms.

Everyone lived happily ever after until they began somewhat mysteriously dying off during a seventy year gap in storylines. Suspiciously, Zuko and Katara had managed to avoid, or as some believed, secretly caused, the lack of longevity among their friends. Inevitably, they euphorically returned to one another to enjoy their secret romance that had been denied them so long ago in a ignominious backroom conference. Sadly, their Romantic Chemical Reaction had long run out of reactants, and they were unable to create the steam that had so often characterized their time spent together.

This was incredibly fun to write...we need more of these on the site!