Forbidden
I was always made fun of as a child.
My childhood was not the best.
For liking all the colors in the world, even though black was so much cooler.
For being at least four inches taller then my classmates
. For growing a vegetable garden when everyone else played X-Box.
For never talking with the other kids.
For reading books when texting and Facebook was so much more easy and fun to do.
For reading in my room alone with the door shut.
My favorite type of books?
My favorite genre of books?
Romance of course!
I enjoy romance novels.
I really enjoyed stories of star crossed lovers and love that was forbidden. It was suspenseful, like Romeo and Juliet.
Romance novels always had great twists and suspense.
These things and others marked me as someone whose nicknames ranged from loser to homo.
No one ever approached but I could here what they said.
. I hadn't had many friends before high school.
I was completely alone until seventh grade.
In elementary school my only friends were the neighborhood kids who went to a different school then I did.
Yes completely alone.
My very best friend came to my school in the middle of my 7th grade school year.
My first friend was kid I met in 7th grade after I moved to a new city .
He was tall at least 5'11, I was a mere 5'4.
He was way shorter than me but wasn't afraid like the others .
His blond hair was only a shade darker then my platinum blond locks.
My hair was brittle compared to his silky strands.
His blue eyes were icy with glasses covering them; my eyes are a darker blue.
Thru my glasses I could see that his eyes were blue almost indigo in color.
Berwald is his name, he, like me, did not have many friends.
His name is Tino.
The other kids called him Waldo; I called him Sandy for his hair of course.
I called him Fin, since it was the start of his last name. They made fun of him too.
I told him to ignore them, what they say will never be true. He would nod his head, say "Thanks.", then turn his head to the front.
Every time Fin tried to console me I would always say a quick thank you.
I would stare at him with a sick feeling in my stomach.
But, I soon became horrified with myself.
For I knew one name they called me was true.
For I had done the unspeakable.
That word, the word whispered behind hands and giggled about outside.
The thing that could make me lose my rights.
The word that if Berwald found out that I was would cause our whole friendship to crumble.
The thing that could cause my only friendship to end.
The word that I know someday that I will be proud of.
The thing that I sometimes just wanted to scream out.
The taboo.
The nightmare of every parent.
The word that my cousin affectionally called "The big no-no".
The thing that would stick to us for the rest of our lives.
The word…
The thing…
that was simply…
that applied to every meaning of the phrase...
FORBIDDEN.
My name is Tino Väinämöinen…
My name is Berwald Oxenstierna…
And I am a homosexual.