Sourire Faux Chapter 1, an inuyasha fanfic

The wind blew her hair wildly around her as she stared at them, dust whirling around their feet, her eyes were wide as low growls floated through the air. Her heart felt still and her eyes were not willing to close, her legs tingled and felt planted to the earth. Inuyasha's attack flew ahead, toward the still form across from her, her heart fluttered to life, it missed, the thumping quieted and she continued to stare."I-Inuyasha!" she was silent again as he looked at her, the reason she called to him, lost in the panic and lethargy, "oh…never mind."He cussed and turned away, facing his opponent once more, she shivered as a cool breeze caressed her body, much like the whisper of a lover. An attack hurdled toward Inuyasha; her heart sped up, before slowing down, almost happily, when Inuyasha was thrown to the ground.Words flew around, she didn't understand them, and then he left, leaving her and her hanyou alone, she continued to stand there, awkward silence between them, "Kagome…?"

Tears filled her eyes and she turned away, a little ashamed.

Sourire Faux

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

Sourire Faux- In French, "Fake Smile"

She sat around the fire, everyone was laughing, listening to an immature anecdote Inuyasha was telling, she forced a laugh when everyone else laughed…but her mind was elsewhere, she was thinking about marriage and regret. Inuyasha draped his arm across her shoulders and she smiled widely as he nuzzled her gently, he kissed her cheek before returning to his story. Her smile faded and her eyes wandered to the shadows of the forest and she wondered about her relationship, and where she was in her life.

Kagome settled into the hot water of the osen and didn't see Sango looking at her, "Kagome? You seem very down lately, are you alright?"

Kagome looked up, as though she hadn't expected Sango to speak to her, "What? Oh, no, I'm fine, really," she forced a smile that Sango didn't believe, but she shrugged it off.

They bathed in silence until Kagome felt overwhelmed enough to look to her friend for help, "So…Sango," tears choked her voice, "um, have you ever felt like maybe Miroku wasn't…right anymore?"

Sango looked at her blankly, "What do you mean?"

Kagome's voice shook, "Like maybe, you made a mistake, and went too fast and now you don't know who it is you've fallen in love with."

Sango smiled, "Oh, don't worry, I'm sure it's just cold feet, I felt this way before I got married to Miroku, I'm sure you're just nervous because of the wedding, once you're married, you'll be fine."

Kagome smiled at her friend, as though she had helped her, "Thanks…Sango."

"No problem."

Kagome sat in the warm water for a few more minutes, letting a few tears go before she got out and headed back to camp.

Inuyasha and Miroku were talking in whispers as Sango started a fire and Shippou snoozed curled up with Kirara. Kagome sat down and began to rummage through her bag, looking for a hairbrush, she noticed Inuyasha casting furtive looks her way before he stood up, "I'm goin' for a walk."

Kagome clenched her jaw and kept looking down, pretending she didn't know.

When he left, the camp fell into a full silence and she knew everyone was looking at her, she knew what they were thinking, but she smiled and tried not to cry.

She had grown up with him in a way, with him she had discovered and experienced so many things, but they had not grown, in a way they had, they were getting married, but he still couldn't forget about her. She knew that every time he goes for a walk, every time he bolts without saying a word, it's her. She knew that when they first met, she would have chewed him out, he would have apologized and seemed remorseful. But now she's tired, she's been through trouble with him, been through a lot with him, and she stopped trying, after a while, she lost her will.

Kagome was silent as Inuyasha's hands roamed her body, she was backed against a tree, he groaned as she moved to button her shirt, she didn't want to fight, so she let him continue to roughly squeeze her breasts. Her throat felt swollen and she knew that after he kissed her sweetly on the cheek and buttoned her shirt for her, after he led her back to camp, and after they all fell asleep, she would cry, because she knew she had made a mistake, but she was so tired of being alone, and watching everyone else get married and be in love, be so happy. She wanted to be like them, so she would keep her mouth shut and marry him.

Kagome walked along the dirt road beside Inuyasha, like she had done for the past six years, Naraku was gone, but still she stayed. They still fought rampaging demons, so there was still some purpose in this. After six years she didn't get tired so easily and her feet didn't hurt so badly. She fought much better and she didn't let anybody rescue her in battle. Every once in a while Kouga would show up, but Inuyasha didn't care so much anymore, Kouga had married Ayame three years ago and they had two young pups. Sometimes Kagome's heart would ache when she would see Kouga and Ayame looking at each other with such great passion and love in their eyes. She wanted that so much. Inuyasha stopped in his tracks and sniffed the air, his posture becoming rigid; he put a hand on the hilt of his sword and Kagome grabbed an arrow and her bow from her back, readying for a fight. Behind her Sango and Miroku both held their weapons readied. Inuyasha drew his sword and Kagome raised her bow and pulled back on the arrow, ready to release. Inuyasha looked up into the sky and growled as an orb of light approached them, Kagome's grip on her bow grew lax and she lowered the weapon.

"Sesshoumaru! Why are you here?"

"I have come to ask the assistance of the women in your group."

Kagome heard Miroku say something and then the slap that followed, but she wasn't really listening.

Inuyasha scoffed and looked at his brother, "As if you would ever need any help from the human women."

"Do not make assumptions little brother, when you do not know the reasoning behind my request," Inuyasha was silent, embarrassed, "Rin is ill, and none of the sorceresses I have brought in have helped her. She is a human and needs human treatment."

"Of course we'll help you; if Rin is sick then we can't turn you down!"

Inuyasha looked at Kagome and scowled; she turned away from him and looked at Sango who nodded her head, "I agree with Kagome, we can't just say no if she is so sick that you would come to us."

Kagome looked at Inuyasha, "Fine, but I'm coming with you, you ain't gonna be alone with that bastard."

Miroku spoke up, "I am going to, I wouldn't want my dear Sango to have to go to bed alone, I fear she may cry."

She had to speak up first, he was her last resort, and he might be able to save her.

Kagome sat next to the young girl and frowned, "She has a very bad fever and an irregular pulse. Has she said anything about the way she feels?"

Sesshoumaru stood at the opposite end of the room and looked at her, "She told me she was tired."

"Ah…" the statement was no help but she grabbed her yellow backpack and pulled out a thick book, a gift from her mother, she flipped through the book stopping at various pages to read a few lines before turning the page.

"Well, I have some Aspirin in here, that should help with her fever… but until she comes to enough to speak I won't be able determine what else she would need."

He remained silent and walked out of the room. Kagome looked at the girl, opened a small bottle and tapped out two small pills.

Kagome laid next to Inuyasha, in a dimly lit room in Sesshoumaru's home, and ran a hand through his hair, "Inuyasha?"

He answered without opening his eyes, "Yeah?"

"Do you ever think that maybe…life could be more?"

He was silent, kept his eyes closed, "Inuyasha?"

"You mean like, be wealthier?"

Kagome withdrew her hand and laid on her back, "Yeah."

Sun bathed the pale skin of the child, "Her fever's broke, but until I can speak to her, I can't do much else but keep the fever at bay."

They had been taking care of the ill Rin for three days; Inuyasha wouldn't talk to Kagome besides to ask for something. Sango touched Kagome's shoulder, "Kagome, you should go take a break; you've been by her side for so long."

Kagome looked at Sango with wide eyes, "I'm not tired."

"But you need a break, besides, I feel so useless just sitting here, let me do some of the work for a while, if I need you I'll find you."

Kagome submitted and smiled at her friend, "I guess you're right," she stood and walked out of the room after stretching and thanking Sango once more.

She walked outside and sat on a small bench, enjoying the breeze and letting herself relax. She felt the presence of another person and opened her eyes to see Inuyasha staring at her, "Hey listen, Kagome, I've been thinking and I don't think Sesshoumaru means any harm, so I'm gonna go."

She stared at him for a minute, letting the wind give her body chills, "Oh, yeah, of course."

He grinned at her and walked away, "It's only natural…you need to go."

Sesshoumaru stood next to her as she sat beside Rin, "You know why he left, he left to see Kikyou."

Kagome cringed at the bluntness of the words, "Yes."

They were silent at the words and Kagome continued to wipe Rin's face, "Her fever hasn't come-"

"Why do you stay?"

Kagome didn't answer for a long time, she hated the question, in a way she hated him for asking it.

"Because, I don't have any other option."

He left her after that, she felt her body shaking as she fought the tears that would overtake her.

Rin sat up and drank the tea Kagome offered, after a week and a half, the girl was well enough for Kagome, Miroku and Sango to find Inuyasha and return to their travels.

"How are you feeling Rin?"

"Rin is feeling much better now."

Kagome smiled and brushed a strand of hair from the girl's face.

"Thank-you very much for taking care of me Kagome."

Kagome smiled again and grasped Rin's hand, "You don't need to thank me," she embraced the girl warmly and kissed the top of her head. She stood up and walked out of the room.

She met Sango and Miroku outside the expansive home of Sesshoumaru; she turned to the youkai and smiled warmly, "Thank you very much for your hospitality, everyone was very kind. Rin should be up and running around by tomorrow."

Sesshoumaru remained silent, "Feel free to come to us should you need our help again."

He looked into her eyes, and they understood, he understood. It made her so happy.

Inuyasha looked through her as they sat around the fire, "Inuyasha?"

"What?"

"Maybe we should postpone the wedding."

His eyes came into focus, "Really," he sounded too eager.

"Well, yeah, I mean, we should wait until we get back to Kaede's village. You know, until we can be in a place where we know people, and where we have a place to stay for a while after the wedding."

"Yeah, good idea," he didn't see her anymore after that.

Kagome sat beside Sango and laughed as the kind villagers danced and celebrated the defeat of the demon that had terrorized the village for so long, she clapped her hands to the music and laughed as a young boy asked her to dance, she accepted and moved her body to the beating drums and the sound of the samisen played by the elderly woman, smiling as she watched everyone enjoy her music. The young boy smiled sweetly at her and she smiled back, glad to be truly happy, she laughed as the boy spun her around. That is what she wanted, she wanted to be spun around and smiled at sweetly, she wanted to be asked to dance.

Inuyasha stared at Kagome, "I heard Sango talking to Miroku about the celebration."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, she told Miroku you danced with some guy."

"Oh, that? Inuyasha it's nothing to worry about, we were just having fun, just dancing."

"I don't want you dancing with anyone but me, Kagome, we're getting married and you're out dancing with other men!"

"Inuyasha, it was nothing, he was just a kid!"

"Kid my ass, Kagome if you aren't going to be faithful to me-"

"Faithful too you! How dare you say that to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"You think I don't know what's going on," she sat down and held her head in her hands, "I know you're still seeing her, I know it's her you're always going to see."

He continued to stand as he spoke, "You mean Kikyou… Kagome, I told you she's nothing to me, and I choose you Kagome."

"Kagome looked up to him with tears in her eyes, "Really?"

He knelt down, "Of course, I want to marry you, not Kikyou."

Kagome smiled and kissed him, she chose to ignore the white hair ribbon he kept tied around his wrist.

Kagome and Inuyasha walked hand in hand out of the village, she smiled and waved goodbye to the villagers as they saw the demon fighters off. "Hey, Inuyasha, what do you say we stop by to say hello to Kouga and Ayame, their mountain is pretty close to here."

"Yeah sure."

"Great!"

Kagome walked the dusty trail and hummed a little tune to herself, she wouldn't be sad when she saw Kouga and Ayame anymore, she was sure.

Kouga grinned and looked at Kagome slyly, "Ya just couldn't stay away could ya?"

Ayame punched him in the shoulder and Kagome laughed before she hugged her friend, "How have you two been, it's been so long since I've seen you guys?"

"We've been great, Kouga is teaching the boys how hunt, they're doing very well."

"Oh, that's good to hear."

Inuyasha was leaning up against the wall of the cave, sulking, "Inuyasha, come over here!"

"Why should I?"

Kagome's smile faltered, "Well, don't you wanna know how things have been?"

"No."

Her smile faded into nothing, "Oh, okay then," she turned to Ayame and smiled, "So how's it been with the boys?"

"All three of them? Hectic."

Kagome laughed and Sango joined them as they walked off.

Kagome sat at the edge of the overlook, watching the stars; she smiled when Kouga came to join her, "Can't sleep?"

She shook her head and smiled, "No, Inuyasha is mad at me, I'm trying to avoid him until he cools off."

Kouga looked at her, concern in his eyes, "He should treat you better."

Kagome closed her eyes and sighed, "Kouga, please don't do this again."

"Kagome, every time you come here it's after something has happened between you and Inuyasha, you deserve better."

"Kouga, please," her pleading voice echoed in the air, "don't do this now. I've made it right, for a while, please just let me be."

"Kagome, you've been doing this with him for six years too long, you need someone who will be good to you, someone who will be faithful."

Kagome's voice shook, "Kouga, I love him, he told me, he told me he wasn't seeing her anymore."

"Kagome you know better!"

"Stop it! I don't want to hear this…I can make this all better, I've done it before," she stood up and walked back inside the cave, lying down next to Inuyasha she kissed him on the cheek and prayed that she could make it through.

Kagome stared at the rippling water and thought about Kouga's words, she knew, deep down in her heart, he was right. She deserved better, she wanted better, she wanted him.

Kagome shivered in the cold air and scooted closer to the fire, the wedding was three months away, and soon everything would be settled and dealt with. She brushed the hair out of her face and grimaced. Due to the cold weather she hadn't been able to bathe in a week, "Ugh, that's it, I'm taking a bath, I don't care if you people say I'm gonna get sick, I hate being so filthy!"

Sango looked at Kagome, "You're gonna freeze, but if you insist."

"I do," Kagome grabbed her yellow bag and marched off in the direction she had seen a small, secluded lake before finding a place to camp. She undressed quickly and crept into the water, shivering violently as she gripped a washcloth and the last bottle of shampoo she had. She bathed quickly before getting out and dressing in her warmest clothes. She had stopped wearing her school clothes and began wearing more practical clothing a few years ago; it did tend to make things a bit easier if she dressed in more common clothes.

She sat on the ground and brushed her hair out. She sighed and rummaged through her bag for something that might take up more of her time, maybe something that could keep her from going back so quickly.

Shippou stood on Inuyasha's shoulders, pulling at his ears and banging his tiny fists on top of Inuyasha's heads. Inuyasha cursed and swiped the little demon away, "Shut up, it's not like that!"

"Like what," Kagome asked.

Shippou turned towards Kagome, "Inuyasha is leaving to go see Kikyou!"

Kagome looked quickly down and then back up at the rest of the group, "Inuyasha?"

"No! I'm not!"

Kagome was silent as she looked at her future husband, she turned her head away as she spoke, "…Okay, I believe you," she said it quietly, more to herself than to anyone else.