Hello, world. As it says in the summary, this is going to be a collection of behind-the-scenes one shots. I read something similar in FebruarySong's The Awkward Adventures of Meghan Whimblesby, and when I was in the middle of a block I tried it and had a grand ole' time. So here we are! This is just a fun little thing, in the hopes some of you fellow magical literary unicorns can relate. :)
In Which Caspian Is Threatened
"Caspian?" says the author in one of those syrupy tones of impending doom. "Do come here, I have a message for you."
With a bit of a saunter in his step, there approaches the King of Narnia himself, Caspian X the Seafarer. And yet beneath the bravado, a flicker of uncertainty lingers in his eyes. Caspian has, you see, been hollered at, cursed, threatened, and more for the better part of a week or two by this author, and by the Lion he has learned caution.
"A message, say you? Who from?" the king queries, stopping a safe three yards or so from said author. Even from this distance, the dark circles are plain to his eye.
"Why, from a good friend of mine!" says she, with a gleam most wicked upon her visage. "Don't you want to hear what she has to say?"
Now Caspian has not received many messages before, not for this casting. In castings previous, he endured multiple slatherings with ice cream, whipped toppings, and, Aslan save him, the occasional dash of sprinkles from particularly enthusiastic fans. This casting has not, thus far, yielded anything of the sort, but Caspian thinks one can never be too careful when rainbow sprinkles and cherries-on-top are in one's past.
No matter, for the author begins reading the message without waiting for the king's reply.
"She says this, and do listen up, my dear. 'Darn you, Caspian! Behave or I shall be forced to unleash the Mary-Sues upon you! You know how awful that is, and you do not want to endure one of mine. Believe me, she'd make you wish you had never been penned by C.S. Lewis!'"
Now at the first mention of those strange and unusual beasts known as "Mary-Sues," the face of King Caspian became instantly awash in the most ghastly of colors. A veritable white-ish gray, perhaps with a tinge of green around the edges.
"My lady, I hardly think—"
"Tsk tsk!" clicks the author. "I wasn't finished."
The green tinge upon Caspian's face darkens.
"Now then, where was I?" the author clears her throat and begins anew, seemlingly oblivious to the king mere paces away, trembling in his boots. "Ah yes! She also wants me to let you know the following: 'If you do not mend your ways, I can threaten you much more furiously. If that still doesn't work, simply look frightened and scuttle on with what the author wishes you to do. Or Else. I have my ways…'"
It is with a grin most satisfied that the author relaxes into her chair and waggles the slip of paper carrying the message.
"That's all. Any questions?"
King Caspian, Tenth of that name, is, apparently, too busy stuttering and paling at the vehement words of the author's friend.
"Oh and one more thing!"
Lion, what now? Caspian gulps and tries not to turn too much greener.
"I downloaded Soulja Boy. You remember it, don't you? I do believe there's a dance that goes along with it. Wouldn't it be so much fun to learn? After all, you seem to have plenty of spare time."
And so that is how King Caspian of Narnia came to yelp like a frightened pup and slink dutifully back to the special schemes awaiting him. No word has come regarding his Soulja Boy, but we can hope his cooperation was quickly won before it came to such measures.
"I wonder if Nyan Cat would help him…"
Big thank you to wildhorses1492 for inspiring this! Hope you all enjoyed the insanity. :)