A/N: So, I am a member and admin of a wonderful group of writers and betas on Facebook (shout out, Wordsmiths & Betas!), and a lifetime ago we did little drabble challenges. This was the first and last one in which I participated. LOL The prompt was: 500 word max drabble featuring Viktor Krum, Luna Lovegood, a pineapple, a thestral, and a snitch. I present to you, exactly 500 words of utter nonsense that for some reason I decided randomly would be a good idea to post on here. (Don't question my logic.) Who knows? I may end up adding onto this pitiful excuse for a fic, one 500 word chapter at a time. ;) Enjoy! *insert crying laughing emoji*

Pineapple Effects

Viktor Krum jogged briskly through the grounds of Hogwarts. The first task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament had been more challenging than he'd imagined, and while his competition celebrated their survival with their schoolmates, Viktor wanted – needed – solitude. He needed to blow off his pent up nervous energy. As an international Quidditch star he knew how to keep his cool in the moment. Now that the task was done, however, the reality of it all was flooding him, and running was his favorite go-to jitter-breaker. Well, no, there was one thing he'd rather be doing, but as Hermione definitely didn't seem the type…

Distracted by detailed thoughts of the things he'd like to do to Hermione that he knew would never be allowed, he didn't even notice the large pineapple lying at the edge of the forest until he'd already tripped over it, sprawling out on the ground. As he lay there on his back rubbing his neck, a cloud of impossibly long blonde hair attached to an ethereally beautiful girl leaned over him. It was then that Viktor took notice of the physical evidence of his naughty thoughts as they combined with the goddess of a creature leaning over him made that certain part of his anatomy twitch longingly.

"Are you alright, Viktor?" came a sweet voice like the tinkling of bells. "I really ought to start taking better care where I leave my fruits lying." She held a hand out to him to help him up, and he took it slowly, never breaking eye contact.

"Yes, I am all vight," he replied. Just then a movement caught his eye, and he instinctively grabbed the witch closer in a move to protect her. "Vatch out!" he shouted.

"It's all right," she said soothingly. "They're just thestrals. They won't hurt us." She smiled at him serenely.

Viktor's stance relaxed a bit. He'd seen pictures of the creatures before of course, but he hadn't been around one since… Well, since he'd been able to see them.

He brought his gaze back to the captivating grey eyes before him and suddenly became aware of their proximity. He made to take a step back, but she simply laid her hands on the tops of his arms and said, "I'm Luna, by the way."

"It is lovely to meet you," he said. He tried again to shift slightly away from her, aware of his slight erection, but before he could move the lucky snitch he always kept in his pocket started flipping its wings, rubbing against him and taking his arousal from slight to painful. She noticed.

Viktor blushed scarlet. "My apologies, my lady," he stuttered out. "The snitch…" He pulled the tiny ball out of his pocket as proof.

Luna smiled and tilted her head to the side. "I knew I liked Quidditch."

"Vhat vas with the pineapple?" he asked.

"To encourage the thestrals' mating," she replied softly. "Apparently the effects aren't exclusive to thestrals."

Perhaps he'd get his release after all.