Hullo, hullo. Gintama is the greatest :D Anyway, please enjoy!
Setting: A late night in Edo
Pairing: GinHiji
Warning: Shounen-ai, Hijikata swearing
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own this glorious anime that is Gintama.
Full Title:
When someone says "no offense", they really meant to offend you.
Hijikata didn't need this, he thought as he lit yet another cigarette. He didn't need the ten o'clock late night patrol. It was originally Yamazaki's until an incident with some anpan and a beating. Hijikata could swear that boy's obsession over anpan is becoming beyond possessing. But that was not important at the moment. What was important was that the silver haired bastard was heading down the same street as him, just the opposite way. It would be inevitable for Hijikata and the man to meet. The Shinsengumi demon vice captain could have just turned down an alley, but he wouldn't lose to that natural perm. So, the fearless man kept walking. Within a few minutes, the two crossed.
"Oh, if it isn't Oogushi-kun," The man swayed, and his face was flushed.
"What do you want, Yorozuya?" Hijikata didn't have to think twice to figure out that the other male was completely drunk.
"What's with the mean voice, Oogushi-kun? Got another stick up your ass?" Gintoki slurred before adding, "...no offense." Hijikata felt a vein pop on his forehead as he took the cigarette from his mouth.
"Why are you drinking so much, Yorozuya? Drowning your sorrows of not getting a girl in sake?" Hijikata retorted in a nonchalant voice and then said, "no offense."
"Aren't you smoking a lot lately? Is it a fix to fill in the lack of mayonnaise and women? No offense," Gintoki irritably slurred this time. Hijikata couldn't notice it, but Gintoki was starting to sober up.
"Aren't you over filling yourself on sugar, sugar freak? You seem to be getting bigger around the waist...no offense."
"...What about you, Mayora prince? Don't you know that mayonnaise goes straight to your thighs? They seem to be getting bigger...no offense," Gintoki grinned when Hijikata snapped his cigarette in half. The two argued back and forth with insults and a "no offense" attached. This lasted for probably half of an hour.
"No offense!" Hijikata growled.
"No offense!"
"No offense!"
"No offense!" They were not even insulting each other anymore, but the two finally stopped to catch their breaths. Gintoki panted, finally sobered up. He had a killer headache, but he would continue annoying the demon vice captain until he won. Hijikata placed a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. After taking a drag, he held it in his fingers.
"So, Oogushi-kun, I bet your kisses taste like tobacco. That's probably why no woman wants to kiss you...no offense," Gintoki smirked. Hijikata frowned.
"Yorozuya, no girl would want your strawberry flavored kiss. They'll get sick of it after one time, no offense." Hijikata countered.
"You wanna test that?" Gintoki questioned. Hijikata, still thinking the natural perm bastard was still drunk, smirked.
"Sure, next good-looking person you see," He agreed. Gintoki gave a nod, glancing around, before settling his eyes on Hijikata. The mayo loving freak was about to question what he was doing, when Gintoki's lips were suddenly against his. Hijikata felt dizzy during the few second kiss, tasting strawberries, and felt his face heat up when Gintoki pulled back, the other's hand lingering on his shoulder and their faces close. Hijikata noted the light flush. 'Bastard! I said next good-looking woman, not me!'...was what he wanted to say, but couldn't only, looking at Gintoki's dead fish eyes. Hijikata could see the next response of 'You said "person", not "woman", and good-looking, which is you', plus one smirk.
"So..." Gintoki drawled in the silence, "did you think it was a one-time flavor?" He blinked, before remembering the thing they just talked about.
"Ah," He started, "...um...no, it's not. What about...the tobacco flavor?"
"Hm?" Gintoki raised his eyebrows, "...it's strangely addicting...Toshi." Hijikata felt the heat feel warmer on his face.
"Is it now...Gintoki?" Gintoki smirked, backing Hijikata to the nearest wall.
"I think it'd be good for seconds." Was all Gintoki said as he went back for more...
Hijikata swore to kill Gintoki the next morning when Okita mischievously pointed out the hickey on his neck.
Yupp! So that was it! I hope you liked, and please review!
Omake:
The night before.
"Toshi," Gintoki mumbled in his bedroom at about two in the morning. The other laid next to him, face flushed and slightly of breath.
"Hmm?" He muffled from under he blanket.
"What about your patrol?"
"Huh...? Oh...Yamazaki can be punished for that."
"And what about what just happened between us?"
"...Let's not speak of it. I don't need anyone knowing I had your big joystick inside me...no offense."
"I'm not offended. Know why?" Gintoki smirked.
"Why?" Hijikata peeked out from under the covers.
"Cause you just said I had a big joystick."
"Shut up. I take back what I said." Hijikata said, throwing the blanket back over his head. Gintoki smiled, joining him underneath the comforter.
"I won't forget it. Gin-san never forget you know, unlike certain people."
"...I'm hoping that you just forgot to add a 'no offense' to that."
"Well I wasn't talking about you. Jealous, Toshi?"
"No. I wouldn't be jealous over someone like you, since I don't have to worry about anyone wanting your strawberry kisses...no offense." Gintoki smiled,
"None taken."