Chapter 1
Edward's POV
I am so bored! Yeah, okay at first the idea of immortality is exciting, full of possibilities and adventure. You know that you can fit in everything that you've ever wanted to do AND still have time to do pretty much anything else. Unlimited time equates to becoming perfect at pretty much everything… but then WHERE are the challenges? What is there that is NEW? It's always a case of been there, done that.
Hence me sitting here. In school. Never mind the fact that I've already graduated about 20 times. I've got the diplomas to prove it. And once again, biology lectures are not holding my attention. I know that I can be easily distracted. I mean, my kind can hold multiple thoughts simultaneously. Not like the humans. Capable of only one thought at a time, and unable to imagine the possibility of having TWO or more thoughts. Never mind five or six like I can. And that's on a slow day.
On the one hand it's good that I've not got any challenges, nothing that I struggle with. Otherwise this charade with the humans would be impossible. And I'd be stuck indoors. Until after dark of course. And though the dark doesn't affect my eyesight, it is still annoying to be cooped up whilst the sun is shining. When it's dark I feel that I truly am the monster I fear I am. It doesn't matter how much my… family try to reassure and convince me, deep down I know that I am a monster. I may try to fool myself, and sometimes I am successful, but the undeniable truth is that I am a monster. Under the cover of darkness I can be my true self. I don't have to hide. And it scares me, thinking that maybe someday I will give in to my true self. Maybe I will sacrifice all that we have worked for by allowing my true nature to reign.
Okay… so maybe I should stop these depressing, overpowering, seductive and oh so tempting thoughts… being a nice guy instead of allowing the monster at my core to take over is hard enough without tempting myself. Just the memory, perfectly sharp though decades old, of that delectable, intoxicating aroma of hot, pulsing vitality that all humans emanate makes my throat burn.
Family. My family. They are my reasons for not giving in to temptation, they are the ones that allow me to be myself, that which is not the monster that craves to be heard. Many are shocked by my word choice. But family is the best word. Coven. Clan. Group. All are okay words. Not the best though. I suppose many people would associate my kind as being in "covens", but they are the ones that accept our destiny is to be the monsters within. Due to their… habits, they are unable to form relationships of the intensity and sincerity like my family and me. They are ruled by their needs. By denying ourselves what we most crave, my siblings and I are able to be rational and genuine, which make our bonds that much stronger.
They are truly my family; my mother, father, brothers and sisters in earnest. They have and will always be there for me. They have widely different personalities, but somehow, by being united in our goal to not be ruled by others decisions, but to make our own choices, we are able to live harmoniously and in comfort. Our lives are relatively normal. No humans question us. They just accept and ignore us. Like now. In this biology class. No one sits by me. I know that physically I am attractive, yet another plus side to being that which I am, impossibly so, and yet still the humans keep their distance. Luckily, they are able to recognise, if not consciously, that we are dangerous to them. That it would be better for them to steer clear. To not form any attachments. Sure that makes us stand out a little, but it's better to stand out for being aloof or just plain weird instead of being found out and being hunted. Having to move. Possibly having to take care of things to ensure our secret is kept. The possibilities are what make me shudder.