Hi. So you've decided to brave this supplement, or you've stumbled upon this piece while searching for a little afternoon distraction? Welcome. I'll try not to waffle too much.
This piece is linked to my B-Series, which begins with The Bubble. It won't make a lot of sense without the rest of the series (I don't think). Having said that, this chapter is not necessary in order to follow the rest of the series. Ok?
I might be inviting some trolls with this piece but the idea just wouldn't leave me alone and since I took the time to write it, I thought I might as well post it. It's set during Myka and Helena's honeymoon, immediately following their first night alone, and deals with the subject of conceiving their third child.
By this point, most of you might have guessed that one of our lovely ladies will be gifted with an extra body part for this chapter. Yep, I'm talking penis. The aim of this chapter is to explore emotions more than physicality though, so will be more suggestive than explicit. This is NOT intended to be porn!
So, if you're still with me (and have bothered to even glance at the author notes), I hope you enjoy.
Conceiving Catherine
Myka's eyelids twitched with the last vestiges of her dream as she began to swim towards consciousness. Wispy images drifted through her thoughts: a much younger Helena swollen with Christina, Fredrick looking tiny and wrinkly in her arms, and herself repeatedly voicing her desire to try again. As the dark gave way to curtain-filtered daylight though, she lost her grip on the dream and stretched into the waking world.
For several minutes, she blinked slowly against the sunrise, drifting sluggishly between the need to sleep and the idea that she should get up. Making an effort to turn her head, she gazed at her lover... her wife... and smiled to herself. Married. She still couldn't believe it. It was a dream come true. Well, not so much the marriage part, but the forever bound to her soul-mate part was definitely the stuff of dreams.
Thinking that nothing could shatter the absolute bliss, she began to roll towards her lover. She had barely moved an inch though when she felt a strange sensation, stopped abruptly and exclaimed, "What the hell is that!?"
Helena jerked from sleep at the sound of panic in her wife's voice and looked her over with concern in her darting eyes. "What?" she asked drowsily. As there appeared to be no emergency anywhere else in the room, her eyes settled more firmly on the brunette. "Are you hurt?"
Myka whimpered, screwed her eyes shut and moved gingerly as she pulled herself to her feet. "Oh God," she groaned, feeling something move beneath the sheet that was tangled around her legs.
Helena's expression spoke of nothing but worry and confusion as she watched her wife turn away from her and waddle towards the en-suite, dragging the sheet with her. "Myka?" She scrambled out of bed, intent on helping.
The distressed brunette waved a frantic hand behind her, halting the inventor's advance. "Just... give me a few minutes, alright?" Not giving Helena a chance to ask questions, she closed the door behind her and slid the lock into place.
She could feel her lover hovering on the far side of the door but dismissed her for the moment, deliberately blocking out their empathic link. Green eyes caught sight of a pale face and she swallowed thickly. "It's nothing," she told herself pleadingly. "Just a fragment of a nightmare that feels too real. Just the power of suggestion." The words didn't quite settle in her subconscious though; the thing had nerve endings and the physical sensation of something foreign between her legs was too present to ignore.
With trembling hands, she pried her fingers from the sheet covering her lower half, letting it drop softly to the floor. There it was – as real as day. "Oh, God," she said a second time and reached for the brim of the sink as she felt a wave of nausea pass over her.
She had no idea how long she stood there, eyes closed and breathing carefully to regain her equilibrium, but before long, the timid knocks at the door became more insistent and her wife's voice pierced sharply through the wood.
"Myka, open the sodding door before I break it down!"
"Ok," she swallowed and called out hoarsely. The frantic pounding stopped and she reached for the lock. There was no point in picking the sheet back up; Helena would demand to know what was wrong and somehow, the idea of revealing her little friend all over again seemed twice as difficult as the first time.
HG was fuming as she stood on the other side, the sharp worry behind her eyes being the catalyst to her anger. "You do not lock yourself in a bathroom if you are ill. How was I to help you if..." she stopped abruptly, all of the words she'd stored, during the twenty long minutes it had taken for her wife to let her in, fled as she finally spotted the addition to Myka's anatomy. Her expression froze. Somewhere, in the far recesses of her mind, she knew that she was staring and that staring was bad, but she couldn't help it. Eventually, her brain kicked back into gear and she uttered a soft, "Oh."
Projecting her own horror at the situation onto her wife's face, Myka sucked in a stuttering breath and began to cry silently, her body shrinking in on itself.
Seeing this reaction, Helena sprang from her rooted spot and wasted no more time in wrapping her arms securely around the distraught figure before her. "Oh, darling," she whispered soothingly into wild curls. "I didn't mean to stare. I'm sorry, I just couldn't quite grasp what I was seeing." As her wife's tears began to fall in earnest, the inventor realised that she wasn't going to get through to Myka until the American had calmed down, so she carefully walked them back towards the bed and gathered the duvet around both of them.
It had been a while since either of them had felt the need to cry out of anything but joy and Myka appeared to be making up for that fact now. It took some time, but the tears eventually stopped flowing, leaving a heavy silence in their wake.
Realising that she needed to be extremely sensitive about this issue, Helena cleared her voice gently and tried to initiate something of a normal conversation. "I assume you are considering the likelihood of an artefact too?" She felt a nod against her neck and breathed an internal sigh of relief; she had begun to fear the possibility that this incident would result in her lover becoming catatonic. "Any ideas around what might have caused this... change?"
Myka shook her head and pushed away from Helena's body slightly. She held onto the duvet in a tight fist, refusing to let it out again. "Between last night and now? I can't think of anything we've done other than eat and make love." As if conjured by her words, images of their first two nights together as a married couple blinked into her thoughts, and with the memory of their entangled bodies, came a responding twitch. She gasped and then groaned in shame.
Myka's difficulty was written all over her face and Helena didn't need to ask what had just happened. "Darling, I realise that this is a traumatic experience for you, but it is not really so bad as it seems, is it? We will find a way to get rid of it, I'm sure. In the meantime, I'm rather more relieved that you are not deathly ill, as I imagined not one hour ago when you turned as white as a sheet and hid in the en-suite."
"I'm sorry," Myka offered as she realised how worried her wife must have been. "I know what you mean... but you're not the one having to control it. How am I going to hide it?"
"It doesn't have a mind of its own." HG reasoned, no matter how much she might have teased her brother about his. "And it's a functional enough size but it's not that big, love."
"And you're not the one who's going to have to try and fit it into her pants!" Myka countered, now beginning to feel irate at how little sympathy she was receiving. In fact, as they considered the situation further, she could swear that there was a smirk forming at the corners of the Brit's mouth.
"I've often wondered what it would be like to urinate while standing upright. It's most inconvenient to be a woman in need of the loo when you're in the middle of nowhere."
"I swear to God, Helena, if you laugh, I'm divorcing you," Myka grumbled as she tried subtly to adjust herself.
Schooling her features into something resembling solemn contrition, HG coughed and glanced away. "I am told that drollness in light of trying times can be a blessing, but perhaps that is best saved for another day." Careful not to lean against Myka too heavily, she nevertheless reached to peck her on the cheek. "Now, how can I help to alleviate your immediate discomfort, darling? Your sweat-pants are fairly loose, or maybe the sarong you packed for the poolside?"
Not liking the idea of anything rubbing against her growth, Myka weighed up the choices and decided that the sarong was less likely to cause more discomfort. When she tried to walk around in it though, the wispy fabric breezed around the sensitive skin and stopped her in her tracks. Sitting down was just as bad, providing Helena with an eyeful when it managed to find the gap in the front. "Sweats it is then," she grumbled as she turned towards the wall and carefully pulled them up.
Helena freshened up quickly and dressed before grabbing her purse to head to the local town. Up until this point, she had appreciated the winding roads and patchwork countryside of her homeland. However, now, as she squeezed the hired car into a tiny space of an equally tiny car park and fought through a throng of Saturday shoppers to gain entry to the town's only supermarket, she longed for the direct routes of her adopted country and the easy access to sprawling shopping centres.
After finding what she was looking for on an end-of-aisle display, next to pet food of all things, she stared down the woman at the till, who was clearly desperate to comment on the lone pack of men's underwear, and drove as quickly as she dared back to the hotel.
"I swear, love" the inventor complained as she closed the door behind her and began to recover from her excursion. "This country gets queerer with each passing century."
"Did you get any?" Myka asked, expectantly.
"Yes, dear," HG answered as she passed her wife a plastic bag, still feeling sore that she'd had to pay five pence for it. She wouldn't have heard the end of it though if Myka thought that she'd wandered past the concierge and possibly other guests while holding her purchase in plain view. "It's like living with pregnant Myka all over again," she added wistfully after a beat.
Myka rolled her eyes and then stopped, a pair of briefs hanging from a finger as she considered a sudden thought. "Pregnant," she muttered to herself. Their eyes met and the answer seemed to hit them so quickly, it was a wonder they'd taken so long to consider it. "You didn't by any chance wish for this?"
"Not this exact result per se," Helena explained as she gestured to the subtle bulge in Myka's trousers. "But after the wonderful day we had yesterday, recalling Christina and Fredrick looking so perfect, I couldn't help lamenting our decision not to try again. If only there was some way to have what we wanted..." she repeated her wish. Misinterpreting her wife's silence, she took offence and gestured towards the taller woman's body. "I can hardly be expected to know that this was going to happen."
"I know, Helena," Myka soothed as she slipped out of her trance. "Besides, you weren't the only one thinking it," she added with a wan smile.
HG placed her purse on a nearby chair and moved to sit next to her lover on the end of the bed.
"Not quite the honeymoon you were looking forward to, is it?" the brunette's despondent voice filled the air.
Helena wrapped her arm cautiously around Myka's shoulders and briefly rested her forehead against her companion's. "I was looking forward to spending time with my wife," she countered, and then added in a cheery voice, "So far, it's fairly spot on."
Myka couldn't help but chuckle at that. It was typical that their time together would be threatened by an artefact. They simply couldn't get away from the Warehouse. She relaxed into her spouse a little, finding comfort in the touch for the moment, detecting no hint of sexual desire from the inventor. She hardly expected that to last long though.
It was both frustrating and disturbing, to have desires and expectations that were perfectly normal considering the fact that she was on her honeymoon, but then to feel her body responding in a whole new way. Every time she glanced at her beautiful bride and felt her usual stirring of emotions, she felt it twitch in response and immediately felt vulnerable, like she was suddenly a teenager again and the possibility of sex was a completely new idea to her.
Forty-eight hours later and, instead of getting better, the issue appeared to be getting worse. Myka's need to be rid of her extra body part became her entire focus and despite Helena's initial sympathy, the strain was beginning to show.
"Preposterous!" HG growled to herself as she ended her WHype call with Claudia and threw the tablet beside her on the bed. As her head fell into her hands, she missed the flinch that shot through her wife. She scraped fingers against her scalp, sucking in deep breaths to try and calm the irritation that blossomed in her mind. "Darling, this is getting us nowhere," she grumbled to the silent figure across the room.
After a promising start, encouraging her new wife to gain confidence with their physical intimacy, Helena had high hopes that, if they couldn't find an immediate 'cure' they could at least still fool around a bit until they had a solution. But she had no such luck. By the end of the first day, Myka was so self-conscious that she tucked herself into a chair in the corner of the room and refused to make eye-contact. To compound the issue, she woke the following morning with an unwelcome erection and glared at Helena as if the Brit had somehow willed it there. She spent the next hour in the bathroom.
"There has to be a way to get rid of it," the brunette insisted desperately.
Helena sighed. She had tried more than once to address the elephant in the room but each time, her wife pulled her off track. "I think we both know how we're supposed to get rid of it," she responded firmly, struggling to keep the grumpiness out of her tone.
The more Myka pulled away from her and the less time they spent together, the more HG's hormones seemed to respond to any notion of sex. She knew that she was being petulant, but she needed her soul mate's touch and rejection was pulling her apart inside.
Myka froze altogether. She couldn't keep the tears out of her voice as she replied, "I can't."
Though HG knew that her lover's misgivings were based solely on her insecurities, it was hard not to take the continued rejections personally. She flopped back and stared up at the ceiling forlornly. Barely a minute passed before all of that irritation and anger sank into the pit of her stomach and was replaced with shame. Three days ago, she had vowed to love and support Myka through sickness and health. Not even a week had past and already she was failing. But she wasn't sure how to begin. Not when Myka wouldn't allow her touch and refused to address any possibility of dealing with the issue other than its immediate removal.
Calmly, with all the effort that she could muster, Helena organised the mess of strewn notes on the bed in to a neat pile and plugged the tablet in to charge. Once that was done, she took a seat near (but not too close) to her wife. She knew that she had been sulking all morning and it needed to stop.
"Myka," she began softly. "I've been a complete and utter arse this morning. You do not deserve to have to suffer through my tantrums at a time like this, I know. I'm sorry, love." She heard a sniff and saw a mess of curls twitch as green eyes glanced up through the thicket. "I don't want to make excuses for my behaviour but ever since your discovery, I have... experienced a heightened level of desire to touch you. I respect your need for space right now but I'm beginning to worry that our bodies will eventually make decisions for us if we don't solve it ourselves... soon."
"What are you saying?" Myka asked, her curiosity and concern piqued.
"I know you remember the day we conceived Christina and Fredrick. You nearly gave yourself hypothermia while trying to control your desires but it didn't stop you in the end, did it? Do you want the same thing to happen here, with this?" she gestured to the brunette's lap and couldn't help but notice that her wife was already partially aroused.
Seeing Helena's focussed gaze, Myka glanced down and groaned, tears of frustration immediately springing forth as she reached for a book to cover the growth in her pants. "I don't want to hurt you," she choked, vividly recalling the fear she had felt after Inanna's influence had worn off. What if she forced her love because she wasn't strong enough to fight it anymore? There was no excuse for that. She would never be able to forgive herself.
"I doesn't have to be so traumatic. It's been a few years but I am hardly a blushing virgin. Love, I think that if we stop beating around the bush, so to speak, we can take anything we choose to do at our own pace and perhaps even enjoy ourselves in the process." She paused, considering how blunt she needed to be before biting the bullet. "I do worry that if we leave it much longer, we'll lose the battle against our hormones and we'll wake up one morning with guilty consciences and little memory of what occurred."
Myka's tears increased ten-fold and for the first time since they officially became a couple, Helena was afraid to touch the woman she loved. Preparing herself for yet another rejection, the inventor stood and inched closer to the vanity where the American had chosen to sit and work. As she leant back against its edge, she patted the top of a head of curls, trying to be as non-sexual in her movements as she could manage. Some stubborn part of Myka must have broken at that touch because, despite any discomfort it might have caused her, her head rose from its place in her arms and fell against Helena's lap while her arms followed to wrap around the Brit's waist.
HG sighed her relief and longing. "It's been nearly two days since you let me touch you last. We have never spent so long in each other's company without some tactile contact," she reasoned. "Even before we became lovers." Through some cajoling, she managed to persuade her wife to join her on the bed, promising that she wouldn't start anything that Myka wasn't comfortable with. "I just want to be able to lie with you and hold your hand."
"Helena," Myka whispered across the torturous divide between them. "I'm sorry I'm not handling this well. I want to do something, to talk about... it... but it's just... I feel..."
"Embarrassed? Ashamed?" HG offered, taking pity on the woman she loved.
"Among other things, yes."
"I could tell you how daft it is to feel embarrassed with only me around to see you but it's not as if you've ever had to prepare yourself for this. You are entitled to feel any way you need to. As am I. We simply have to remember that we work better as a team."
Myka shouldn't really have been surprised but she was. As they talked and Helena helped her to put her emotions into words, she felt the stress of the part forty-eight hours begin to dissolve. Not completely but enough to let her body relax a little from the alternating state of arousal and panic it had been in. "This is nice," she breathed, beginning to feel a little drowsy as the adrenaline in her system drained away.
"Yes, it is. I am relieved that you are looking at me again and letting me hold you, even just a little." There was almost two feet of space between them and she longed to wriggle closer, but settled instead for occasionally squeezing the hand she held in her own. "You really should know by now that it's useless trying to shut me out."
"This is the first chance I've had to think clearly in two days. I've been too busy trying to fight off that... thing," Myka complained.
Helena frowned in confusion. "Why?"
Blushing at the thought of having to explain, the brunette forced her words through semi-clenched teeth. "It kept... reacting to you."
"Forgive me, love, but why fight it? You may have noticed that I am far from repulsed by you in this condition," the inventor tried again to be the voice of reason.
Myka's expression froze in surprise until she muttered shyly, "You want me... like this?"
Resisting the urge to reach across the space and tuck a stray lock of curly hair behind an ear, HG smiled softly. "In sickness and in health, love."
"But you actually find me attractive... like this?" the brunette reiterated.
"Myka," Helena began, sounding exasperated again. "It does not have teeth. It is not a monster, nor a wasting disease. It's a penis. A perfectly normal body part for half of the human race."
Myka flinched at the word 'penis' but otherwise heard the logic in her wife's words. "And you want to touch... it?"
HG paused before answering, detecting something behind her partner's voice that she needed to address carefully. "I have no desire whatsoever other than to make love with my wife," she explained gently. "Whether that entails utilising your new friend or not." She tried for a moment to imagine what was going through the other woman's head. How would she feel if she was the one with the extra body part? I would more than likely want to take Myka on every surface of this room. As she thought the words, accompanying images filled her head and she felt her body respond in kind. Myka's pupils dilated and she knew that the younger woman could feel an echo of her arousal across their re-opened bond. It didn't help that her imagination immediately went on to picture her wife doing similar things to her.
They had different boundaries when it came to sex, she knew. She had pushed Myka's around a little but always with careful consideration and respect. Together they had formed a bond of trust in the bedroom and if Myka was unable to feel that at the moment then she needed to tread carefully. "Tell me what's worrying you, darling. I want to help."
Having already spent some time prioritising the cacophony of thoughts bouncing around her head, Myka nodded and decided to start somewhere near the top of the list. "We agreed that it wasn't fair to bring another child into our lives considering what we know is likely to happen. Do we just forget about that?"
"Of course not, darling. Considering the distance between us at the moment, we have a long way to go before we need to worry about that though," Helena pointed out, trying to bring some humour into the conversation. The joke fell a bit flat though. "Sorry, love. Given the change in circumstance, I think we need to reconsider our options and the potential consequences."
"Which are?" Myka prompted. Not because she didn't already know the answer, but because she wanted to hear everything laid out on the table.
"If this is a result of a combined wish, which seems likely, your... accessory could be permanent if we choose not to use it for that purpose." Helena explained her carefully considered theory. "Equally, if we choose not to get pregnant, given time we might find something to counteract the wish." Personally, she thought this was less likely, but conceded that it was possible. "But currently, we have the issue of waning control over our desires and concern for where that could lead."
Myka nodded, feeling grateful for the logical approach. As one fear lessened though, others appeared. "Would you be disappointed, if I had to stay this way?"
"Do you think you would ever be comfortable making love with me now that it is a part of you?" HG asked carefully. "We have a wonderful sex life; you could hardly blame me for feeling disappointed if we never made love again," she cautioned. "I would never pressure you into doing something that you disliked though."
"I don't know that I wouldn't like it," Myka admitted for the first time, her cheeks pinking at the confession.
"I understand, darling." Helena's eyes brightened with amusement. "I know you. I think your difficulty has been more to do with lack of control than disliking what you've been feeling." Helena's finger stroked the wrist that sat in her palm and watched the reaction with a knowing gaze.
Myka jumped slightly and blushed. "Stop that," she insisted, thought her tone was much less defensive that it had been. She even managed a small smile. "I'm being ridiculous, aren't I?" Her tongue peeked out to wet her upper lip. "If it was attached to you, what would you do with it?"
"I'm a scientist; I would experiment of course!" the inventor chuckled before sobering slightly. "I don't know about being 'ridiculous'. You are simply being you. And I love you," she reminded her wife firmly. "I might call you a little overdramatic for worrying over something that has the potential to bring fun and adventure into our lives. However, I realise that you are more likely to think of the long term effects and less, as I would, on its immediate use."
"You're not the one who suddenly can't fit into her underwear," Myka countered. "You might change your tune if you were."
A mischievous look passed over a dark gaze. "And here I was, thinking that underwear was entirely unnecessary for the next two weeks."
Unwilling to concede the point, Myka continued to grumble. "It's bad enough having to feel it down there, I don't want to see it dangling around too."
"Surely you must have had lovers parading around in their birthday suits at some point in the past? I'm not suggesting that it's a pretty sight but there's something to be said for associating even an ugly thing with the pleasure it can bring."
Myka blushed again, realising that she must have had experience of it with Sam and then caught herself gazing far too long at her wife's mouth. Her body responded, but rather than feeling ashamed of the tightening of her shorts, she attempted to relax, repeating Helena's words to herself; it was a normal reaction for that particular body part. She was simply turned on by her wife: nothing wrong with that.
It wasn't arousal as she'd always known it – deep, burning and (to a degree) patient. This was sharp and insistent, like the sensation she felt when Helena was in a teasing mood and she was too impatient to wait for the Brit to give her release. It took serious concentration to control and she was worried that if Helena touched her with any kind of intent, that she would simply explode.
"Myka," HG began in her most patient tone. "I don't want to sound like a broken record and heaven forbid that you think I married you for the contents of your trousers, but this issue doesn't seem like it's going to be a quick fix and I think we trust each other enough to be able to explore our bodies without the need for embarrassment or humiliation. I've seen you with your arse in the air more than once after you've tumbled over the side of the bed, and you've seen me making a naked dash for the bedroom when I've prematurely disrobed, believing that we were alone. You're my wife and my best friend; I trust that you will never be cruel, even when I humiliate myself. I hope you feel the same."
Green fell into dark mahogany and Myka realised abruptly how much her degree of panic and subsequent behaviour was unnecessary. It was testament to how disturbed she was by the situation that she'd fallen back on forgotten habits and immediately isolated herself. Helena had been there the entire time and though her presence had compounded the issue somewhat, she was proving now that she was more than capable of helping. The simmering fear in her stomach began to boil away, leaving a nervous, tentative excitement in its wake.
"We don't have to make any decisions about children yet," she considered aloud.
HG's eyes sparkled with gentle amusement. "I think we've managed well enough without penile penetration thus far in our relationship," she smirked, knowing that even after four years they were still more than capable of bringing each other pleasure. She raised the brunette's hand to her lips. "It's our honeymoon, Myka. We can do as much or as little as we like."
For the first time in two days, Myka forgot all about her accessory and simply enjoyed the pleasure of her wife's company for a moment. It didn't last long; the moment she inched forward and their lips met, she was rewarded with a jolt of arousal that pulled her abs taught and brought a strangled moan to her lips. Realising how much she needed her wife to touch her she pulled back slightly. "This will probably be messy," she warned.
Not wanting to give her partner reason to back away, HG kept her kisses light and her voice soft. "We've rarely shied away from making a mess before. I'm sure you recall the couch cushion incident and the pudding that ended up all over the kitchen floor."
As Helena's persuasive words and lips played havoc with her body, Myka could feel her libido winning the battle with her more cautious sensibilities. It was only Helena after all. What was the big deal really if they experimented?
The inventor moved at a snail's pace though, obviously intent on keeping her promise to respect Myka's newly erected boundaries. She realised then that she would have to be more communicative while they explored this different level of intimacy. Already, she was finding the pace torturous but she couldn't expect her lover to rely on instinct alone after the events of the last forty-eight hours.
Myka pressed into the kiss, engulfing the inventor in the type of embrace that she had always used to express her desperation and need. Fingers reached for silky, raven hair and gripped tight to the back of a skull. Her nails scraped lightly against scalp and she felt her wife's answering moan in her mouth.
Three things happened in quick succession: Helena's hand slid over her breast, its palm grazing a nipple, she responded by using her free hand to drag their bodies closer, and her wife's leg pressed automatically between hers.
It happened so fast. In the heat of their passion, all of Myka's fear of humiliation disappeared. There was no room left in her head as their lips moulded together and suddenly, she was seeing stars. Her body jerked of its own volition, pushing up against her lover, seeking something elusive.
Myka became vaguely aware of Helena leaning over her and forced her eyes open to enjoy the expression of cocky satisfaction that so often drove her crazy. She excused herself for a minute to clean up in the bathroom, throwing her now ruined boxer-shorts in the bin before grabbing a handful of tissue. After a quick mental debate and pep-talk, she stripped off the rest of her clothes, feeling at least a little more comfortable with her breasts on show than she was with only Little-Myka to focus on.
"Not so messy after all," Helena commented, as her wife returned swiftly. She shifted to pull the sheets back and shimmied out of her own clothes before sliding into bed. "We shall have to try harder." Gently, she pulled her lover closer and sank against her side, grinning at the growing excitement in green eyes before dipping down for another kiss, all the while watching and waiting for a sign that her touch was unwanted. A sign that never came.
Myka stood in the shower the following afternoon, washing for the second time that day. After finding relief in her wife's arms, she had felt some of her confidence return and they spent the rest of yesterday... making a mess. Waking up this morning, she had rolled her eyes at the tent beneath the covers and then chuckled at the hands that stroked a path along her hip.
Following an energetic wake up, they shared a shower and then had breakfast. When maple syrup made its way to certain body parts and Helena ended up sitting on the little table with an eager mouth between her legs, Myka decided that she needed time to recover. Since Helena had taken their renewed intimacy as a sign to retain any form of tactile contact, Myka shooed her wife in the direction of the bathroom again as she tried to make their suite look a little less like a brothel.
Now, the inventor was getting dressed (hopefully) and the younger Mrs Wells-Bering was partly reflecting on the week and partly psyching herself up for the day ahead.
Making love while accompanied by her new body part had not been nearly as horrifyingly awkward as she'd imagined it would be. They stuck to what they knew best, hands and mouths finding all the right buttons for the desired responses. There was some talk about contraception, since they had yet to decide on the whole pregnancy option, but the conversation had to be shelved when they became distracted with each other again.
Myka dried off carefully and pulled a pair of snug men's underwear over her own panties. It was a tight fit and not the least bit comfortable but it was a necessary evil. She could hear Pete's voice in her head telling her that 'they need room to breathe' but she steadfastly ignored it. If she was going to step foot out of this hotel room, then she wanted her new friend to be firmly strapped down. She pulled on the baggiest pair of trousers that she had brought with her, followed with a bra and shirt, and then marched into the living room for the final verdict.
Helena stood out on the balcony, facing out over the hilly landscape, her shoulders slumped in a-typical pose. Myka felt a lump catch in her throat as she watched her wife for a moment or two.
Because of her tantrums and misgivings over her surprise 'gift', their honeymoon had turned into a trip that was mostly about her and much less about them. Helena had bent over backwards (almost literally at one point) to ease her fears and Myka had not taken enough time to consider how her wife was feeling.
Well, that's the first thing that's going to change, she thought, now that her head was feeling clear again.
She approached quietly, a smile ready to reassure the Brit that she held no regrets for their recent activities. She hadn't missed the occasional calculating expression of concern in brown eyes; their dark depths assessing, making sure every so often that she wasn't pushing Myka too far.
Deciding to test her control as well as comfort her lover, the American wrapped her arms around HG's waist and pulled their bodies together. "Thank you," she whispered into raven hair.
Helena relaxed and leaned back into the embrace. After two days of Myka almost entirely blocking her out, she was worried that she had clung a little too tightly to her wife. When the brunette requested some time apart to process, she half expected to find herself spending another day alone. She pulled slender fingers over her belly and entwined them with her own. Turning her head, she grazed her nose against Myka's chin and filled her lungs with a combination of them and summer breeze. "Is this ok? Will you still be able to go for that walk?"
Myka chuckled lowly into Helena's ear. "Just don't wriggle," she suggested before kissing her softly.
Despite their plans to go out, neither of them moved. Myka stroked the tips of her fingers over the silky fabric of the inventor's shirt. Opening the connection with her wife further, she shared the hidden desire that bubbled up from inside and felt it echo across their bond. She didn't need to ask for clarification when Helena spoke up.
"Would it be so wrong?"
Myka sighed and stared across the landscape, as if she was trying to gaze into their future. By the end of their honeymoon, if they chose it, they could make a baby and she could spend many days over the coming year standing like this, with her hands over Helena's middle, feeling their child grow; she could share an experience that she had not had time to fully appreciate the first time round. "I don't know, Helena. I'd like to believe that it would all be ok but what if something terrible happens? We're responsible for bringing our children into this world and keeping them safe."
"I know, love." The logic was there, a big sign that listed all the reasons that they had already discussed, followed immediately by the word 'don't' in bold capitals, but hope filled the void between reason and desire and she couldn't help but see different logics on the other side of the argument. "Who are we to decide whether a life is worth living though? Or how disastrous or successful it will be? The odds are never under our control, no matter what we believe will happen in the future."
"There will be conflict," Myka argued half-heartedly. "That much we know."
"It doesn't follow that he or she couldn't have a wonderful life."
Myka was quiet for a long time, prompting her wife to turn in her arms. She looked deep into Helena's compassionate gaze and knew that her fears were completely transparent at that moment. "What if it happens again?" she blurted in a hushed tone. "What happened to Christina."
Knowing how serious this issue was for both of them, HG took a moment to contemplate her answer. "Losing people we love is always a risk. I'm the last person who would make light of mourning the death of a child. But it was you who taught me to see through the storm; to find hope on the horizon. The future is not set in stone, love. We cannot live our lives based on what might happen."
Myka nodded and let her head drop so that their foreheads were pressed together. "I'm afraid, Helena," she admitted quietly. "Excited too, but afraid that wanting this makes me too selfish."
Figuring that her wife needed time with her thoughts to make a lasting decision, Helena suggested lightly that they take their walk and mull the issue over a bit more.
It was a beautiful day and as they stepped outside, hands reached for a partner and they both smiled. When they found a convenient footpath and passed through a kissing-gate into a pretty section of woodland, Myka remembered why they had chosen to spend the first week of their honeymoon just north of Tunbridge Wells. Other than being amused by the name (that she now shared) and the fact that it was near where Helena had grown up, their accommodation looked out on sprawling countryside, with nature walks heading out in every direction. Having anticipated not wanting to leave their suite often, they had still planned for the option to wander around the once country estate and give the hotel staff the opportunity to freshen up their room.
Their path opened out onto a hillside and in the distance, Myka could see a tiny town. The same one Helena had visited on their first full day there, she assumed. They paused to take in the vista before dipping back into the trees. Hand in hand, chatting about nothing of consequence or simply strolling along and listening to the tuneful cacophony amidst the branches, they spent two hours leaving their jumbled thoughts and concerns alone.
Returning to the hotel restaurant for an early evening meal, once they'd eaten, they sat on the veranda, looking out on the picturesque gardens. A brook bubbled away somewhere close by while they revisited the subject of children and Myka's little problem.
"I had a text from Claudia while you were in the bathroom," Myka informed her wife with a slight grimace. "She says she's ninety-nine percent sure that it'll be permanent if we don't use it to get pregnant." The words came out sounding a little robotic as the American absorbed and recovered from the news. "I don't want to have a child to satisfy my discomfort."
Helena shuffled her chair closer to her wife and placed a hand on the brunette's cheek as she produced a tissue from nowhere. "Darling, no one is going to believe that you... that we chose to create life simply for the sake of convenience. Anyone of consequence knows how generous, compassionate and self-sacrificing you are. We wanted to extend out family long before the events of this week. I know that any decision you come to will be based on your desire to share out love with another child, not because it was the most convenient choice." She watched and felt the echoes of understanding, gratitude and something she vaguely recognised as nervous excitement on gentle features. She had tried hard to advise and not overly influence any choice that her wife wanted to make but she was eager to know what conclusion they had come to. Her own hormones were bubbling away beneath the surface, as if her body knew that this was the optimal time to conceive but she continued to resist the arousal that accompanied this thought.
"I want to make a baby with you, Helena," the younger woman acknowledged softly so that anyone close by would not overhear.
"I know you do, Darling. But are we actually going to attempt it?" HG prompted, not wanting any misunderstandings to set them back.
The fears about the future weren't likely to go away any time soon and she wasn't going to let thoughts of adjusting to an extra body part scare her into making a rash decision. However, after some time to process, and some time to relax, she knew what she had decided. The thing that stuck in her mind more than anything after their talk was embracing the uncertainty around the future. Each time a new piece of information came to light, they were thrown for a loop but eventually they gained perspective and somehow managed to return to a semblance of normality.
Helena's words bounced around Myka's mind, reminding her that their hopes were just as valid as their fears. Yes, disaster was a distinct possibility but it wasn't a certainty and they needed to live without focussing only on the negative. Helena seemed better able to do this recently, despite her experiences, and Myka was trying hard to follow suit.
She remembered the promise she made to her teenage daughter before they bronzed her - to not spend too much time worrying about her destiny or to deny her experiences under the guise of protecting her.
Having another baby and taking responsibility for the consequences was not the same thing but the philosophy was similar. They were committed to their family and had the right to extend that family if they so wished.
Myka glanced across the table at her wife. Perhaps we should make the most of this... thing... and try, she thought to herself, not even beginning to analyse why she couldn't even say its given noun in her head. Consciously making the decision was like a weight being lifted from her shoulders, and as the thought took shape in her mind, she felt her body react. She immediately knew that she wouldn't be able to stay where she was for much longer without risking some curious stares.
"Yes," the brunette answered bluntly before rising from her seat and picking up her bag. She gave her wife a coded look. "Let's talk about it upstairs."
HG followed, her eyes drinking in the sight of her spouse's very delectable figure and trying to control her urges to reach out and run her fingers along it. Her desire must have drifted across their bond though, because she distinctly heard a suppressed groan and watched Myka's step falter as they reached the second floor.
Desperate hands and hungry lips grabbed the inventor the moment they were safely sequestered in their suite and Helena found herself pressed up against the wall with her wife's body flush against her own. Her fingers naturally found dense curls and tunnelled amongst them as she pulled her partner's mouth harder against her own. Desire burned in her stomach and a subtle shift of their hips brushed a telling hardness against her leg. She groaned as she realised that Myka was just as aroused as she, though before they could get any more carried away, she gently but firmly pushed the brunette away and held her at arms' length.
"Darling, I want you so much right now, I can barely think," she began breathlessly and by the expression that smouldered back at her, it was obvious that Myka felt the same. "But I need to make sure, before we start anything else, are we trying to get pregnant?"
Despite her own lust-hazed thoughts, Myka made an effort to focus on the question. She took the hands that were clinging to her shoulders and kissed each on the knuckles. "Yes, we are. I don't want to be afraid of the future and I really, really want another baby with you." She felt her legs twitch with anticipation, heard the blood rushing through her ears and fought the impulse to dive back into another kiss. Her gaze flitted all over Helena's form, as if it couldn't decide where best to spend its time worshiping the vision before it, and Myka swallowed thickly when she realised how right her wife had been about their bodies taking over the longer they tried to resist. "And I want this to be our choice. I want to be aware of everything we do when we're making love." She closed the distance between them again, moving deliberately slow this time as she wrapped her hands around HG's waist. "Let's make a baby, Helena."
Helena Wells-Bering doubted that she could have said no to her wife in that moment even if she had wanted to. Her body was a puddle of desire-charged nerve endings and her brain almost incapable of giving her anything other than different scenarios for what was about to happen. As her hands moved of their own volition, she watched shirt buttons come undone and bit her lip as the lace of a fuchsia-pink bra came into view. Some part of her brain must have found the means to process the brunette's words though, since she heard herself responding moments later, "I'm glad you agree, love, because I don't think I could have lasted another day."
They fell into each another as they often did, with hands searching for skin and lips finding lips. Helena led them in the direction of the bed and piece by piece, began to remove their clothes.
Time lost all meaning as they tumbled into the sheets together and indulged instincts that had been slowly torturing them all week. They trembled together in ecstasy more than once before Helena wrapped her legs around Myka's waist and rolled them so that she was on top. Looking down into vibrant green, the inventor held her lover's gaze as their bodies moulded together and she whispered a fervent 'I love you'.
As those same green eyes opened the following day, the first thing Myka noticed was how bright the room was. They had a west-facing suite so that they could sit on the balcony and watch the sunset, which also meant that they could enjoy lazy mornings in bed. Since it was so light, she figured that it had to be almost midday and with a contented sigh, a smile, a stretch and a quick glance at the clock, she confirmed her theory.
A pleasant ache suffused various parts of her body, mostly in her arms and thighs, and she blushed to think why. It wasn't this that grabbed her attention and held on though.
Daring not to hope, she lifted the covers carefully, not wanting to disturb her sleeping spouse, and looked down to where it had been. A thatch of coarse hair covered her pubic area but other than that, there was nothing.
"It's gone," she whispered to the room and immediately pressed a hand between her legs to double check.
The relief at finding her own girly body parts where they were supposed to be was so intense that it brought tears to her eyes. It took several long moments before her thought processes kicked in again and she began to realise what this sudden change might mean. She turned to look at the sleeping woman beside her and felt her breath catch at the sight of the inventor slumbering so peacefully.
Had they done it? Could it have happened so quickly? Was that why she was back to her usual self, because they no longer had a need for it? Could Helena really be pregnant?
These thoughts bombarded the newlywed and thought she knew enough about the reproductive process to know that it could take as long as three days before they actually conceived, depending on when the inventor last ovulated, she was fairly sure that they would need to keep trying if it wasn't already a done deal.
It seemed incredible now to look back on her behaviour at the beginning of the week and wonder why she had created such a fuss. Sure, they were still on the fence at bringing another life into the world, but deep down she knew that much of her angst had been a direct result of embarrassment and awkwardness at suddenly having to deal with growing a very male body part. It wasn't like when she'd inhabited Pete's body. All of that had felt wrong but thankfully, she hadn't needed to worry about seeing or touching the bits that made her most uncomfortable.
Helena had been wonderful as always and in the end, she made Myka feel comfortable in her own skin just by loving her. She called her beautiful and sexy, and made sure to remind her of everything that made her a woman; most importantly of all, because felt like one. What was in her heart shone through above everything else; her identity was not restricted by the shape of her body.
Hours of making love had pushed them to the very edge of Myka's boundaries and she couldn't be happier for it. The way her wife's body had felt wrapped around her own, their limbs entwined, sharing each breath and moan as they moved together: it was perfect because it was them and that was really all that mattered.
As if she felt Myka's eyes on her, Helena stirred and dark orbs smiled the moment they landed on the brunette. "Mmm... Morning, love," she greeted, stretching and wriggling in one complete movement that brought her close enough to pull her wife down into a lingering kiss.
Green eyes-fluttered shut and Myka forgot that the world existed for a moment. When they opened again, she gazed at the inventor with very ounce of love in her soul and felt it all mirrored back. "I love you," she whispered and dipped down for another taste.
Despite the niggling feeling of needing the bathroom, Helena pulled her lover down on top of her and wrapped a leg around her waist. So distracted was she by her lover's lips against her own that she didn't immediately notice the change from the night before. When her brain caught up though, her reaction was not dissimilar to her wife's, a sudden prickling behind her eyes taking her by surprise. "Myka?" she mumbled and leant back to see her clearly.
The American grinned. "It's gone," she announced and bit her lip as she wriggled to emphasise her point.
Helena smirked and raised her leg deliberately to fill the space between her lover's. "So I see."
Myka chuckled but instead of taking advantage of their position, she retreated and slid next to the Brit with a semi-cautious expression. "You know what this means?"
"You're more virile than we thought?" HG joked. "Or perhaps we were just very good with our timing? I do believe that I should be ovulating at present."
Myka's features were hopeful as they locked onto Helena's. "Do you think we're pregnant?"
"I very much hope so," the inventor answered in a soothing tone. "We shall have to wait and see, but from what I understood of Claudia's research, I think it's likely. Any regrets?" she asked after a pause.
A contemplative look passed over the American's face. "No," she answered with very little hesitation. "I know I kicked up a big fuss but you helped me to see past my fear." She slid a hand down her lover's torso and let it rest over her navel. "We will give her or him the same opportunities we give to Christina and Freddy, and as much love as any kid could want."
They showered and had lunch brought to the room before dressing and deciding to spend the rest of the day exploring the countryside. They walked hand in hand and perhaps spent a bit too long indulging at every kissing gate, but with a weight off their minds, hope for the future and still a week and a half of honeymoon to go, they figured that it was natural to get carried away.
Well, there you go. Was it what you expected? Better/worse than? I welcome constructive criticism. Trolls will be ignored.
Thank you for reading.