ERAGON'S RIDE TO THE MALL… An Eragon Spoof

Saphira you promised that if we got you that cow you'd give me a ride to the mall. Eragon said pompously.

Saphira laughed. Too bad. Now I'm too full to get off of the ground. Plus, what do you need to get at the mall. Just send one of your men to get you something. Or send Arya, otherwise she'll get fat sitting at the castle.

Eragon smiled. You mean like you are. Now that you don't have to hunt for your food you're getting lazy. And we can't risk anyone seeing you, remember last time.

Saphira looked up. Yet you still want me to go to the mall?

Of course. Eragon said laughing. It's not like I wanted you in the first place.

Saphira stood up. Damn it. Why did I choose you? You treat me like a housewife. I'm not the same as Arya, I have feelings.

Feelings. Yeah right. I don't think that girls can have feelings.

Whatever. I don't care what you think. I know you are just a loser so SHUT UP! Saphira shouted in his head. I hate you. You can't imagine how hard I have tried to help you. You know I didn't approve of Arya, so you are more than a loser.

Shut up Saphira. I can't believe you. All I asked was for you to bring me to the mall. I am more than your master; I'm your friend. I still love you. You're a great Dragon, and I am the best rider ever.

NOT! Think whatever I guess though. Fine I'll take you to the stupid mall. Eragon saw her to struggle standing up. She was having more trouble than Arya did to turn over, but they were both getting fat. The only good one was Goyle, Arya's Dragon.

Goyle was such a beautiful dragon. Purple in color it was one of the most beautiful dragons he had ever seen. It was even thin. Only it wouldn't come to him or follow his commands.

That sucked, especially since it was supposed to. It was a secret dragon pact that came with marriages. But the first thing Goyle said to him after the marriage ceremony was, I'll never listen to you loser.

Saphira walked a step closer and then waited for Eragon to come on. Eragon walked over and got on ready to fly away.

Five minutes later

Saphira, you can move now. I'm starting to get a little sore just rubbing against you.

Saphira looked up and then took one giant step then another. Three more later she stopped. Okay, there it is across the street. See you when you get done shopping.

Eragon scowled. What a dumb dragon. He walked across the parking lot which took forever. Saphira walked back into the house humming as she went.

Eragon smiled as he saw her almost burst as she tried to squeeze through the doors. At least he didn't live with both her and Arya at the same time; he had to have a break sometime.

The wedding was great. Just yesterday Arya had asked him to be married, now today they were. And neither was happy with their marriage.

Eragon walked into the store and a cute girl walked up to him. Her breasts stuck into his face. Eragon backed a bit to get a better look. "Hi, I'm looking for a date. I mean some dates."

He smacked his forehead. "The fruit, I mean."

She looked at him. "I'm so sure. I'm Hurtit."

"Um, Hurtit? Is that your name."

"Mmm. Maybe. I happen to know you're married. Want to go to my apartment, you won't find any wives there."

Eragon smiled. "I'd love to."

ERAGON! Saphira's scream woke him. He looked up to see that she was back to normal, yay. Finally this dram was over.

"Hey Eragon." Arya said walking into the room, and was she fat.

Oh damn. It wasn't over yet.

He, he, he. Just a little story I wrote for the heck of it. Please tell me if you like it or hate it, just review.