Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters/plots associated with said book
George shook his head in complete wonder. His twin was so amazing. All it took was George absently saying "I'm bored", and here they were, sitting outside the teachers lounge with a stuffed cat.
Wondering yet?
You see, from the vast wisdom that George Weasley possesses comes the all-too-true saying 'Boredom is the root of all madness'. So, if you were to take two questionably-sane teenage boys and throw in any phrase with the word boredom in it, you might have a situation resembling this:
"Do you want to pet my pussy?" Fred asked politely, holding the fuzzy, much-abused stuffed cat behind his back. Professor Flitwick, who was peeking out the door, jumped and looked at the boy quizzically.
"Excuse me?"
"Do you want to pet my pussy?"
Flitwick flushed bright red, giving no doubts to the answer to that question. George sputtered with laughter and ducked a flying hand from Fred, who was struggling to keep a straight face. Filitwick stuttered, tripped, and fidgeted nervously with the hem of his robe as he tried to think of an answer that woudn't get him sacked.
"Ummm.... er--no." he finally decided. Fred looked hurt.
"Why not, sir?" George asked, putting a comforting arm around Fred, through which he could feel his twin's shoulders shaking with barely-concealed giggles. "It's a lovely pussy. I play with it almost every day. It's all furry and soft, and if you press it just in the right spot it makes a sound. Why, I go to sleep cuddling it all the time." he said. Flitwick's face went from red to green faster the a stop-light. George and Fred, no longer able to contain it, burst into howling gales of mirth that scattered crows from trees utside. They laughed their asses off, thoroughly enjoying that unmistakable look of unwanted mental images on Flitwick's face. Fred pulled the cat from behind him and held it in front of the tiny teacher, pressing it's paw and making it mew mechanically.
"Are you sure you don't want to pet my pussy?" he asked, wiping at the tears that streamed from his eyes. Flitwick turned bright red again, so much blood rushing to his face that it was a wonder his head didn't swell up to three times it's normal size. He gave the cat a quick pat and dashed down the corridor as fast as his little legs would carry him.
"Oh my fucking gods, that was one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen." Fred gasped, trying to control himself. "You were great! I would have never thought of that stuff."
"Thank you. I'm glad you accept the fact the I'm so much more talented than you." George said with mock smugness. He got pushed over for his troubles.
"Hey! Don't push me, I'm delicate." George said. Fred pushed him again for good measure and took his position by the teacher's lounge again.
"One more before we stop for the day?"
George shrugged and sat down beside his brother, sides connected. They wore identical grins, still imagining the fun they had had with in the last few minutes.
It took forever for another teacher to come out. And when they did, a little hestitation was in order.
Professor Severus Snape strode evenly out of the lounge, cloak swishing around his ankles.
"Do you want to pet my pussy?'
Snape didn't show any reaction to Fred's confident inquiry. He looked down his formidible nose at the two, and calmly said the words that would deprive the twins of sleep for nights to come and forbid anyone to mention Professor Snape within their earshot.
"I would like that very much. Both of you at the same time, actually. I have some rather funs toys I would like to test out."
And he swept down the hall, leaving the twin's exchanging horrified glances. They never mentioned that time again, and tried their best to repress it.
The Great Hall did rather enjoy watching the memory of the twin's encounter with Flitwick, though.