Title: Pretty Commision Ch.1
Authors: (AcidGasCloud) & SadistDragon (LJ)
Paring: Cid/Vin (post DoC)
Warnings: Au-ish becuase Don Corneo is still alive; Based on an RP so it's a bit silly; men in dresses; and uhh we're calling Edge "Midgar" cause its easier to remember.. Oh! not really beta'd so sorry about the errors!
Vincent's face was a shade of red that very nearly matched the clothing he wore as he examined himself one last time in the mirror. He couldn't help but wonder what he'd done to deserve this. More importantly, he couldn't help but wonder where the hell ShinRa had managed to acquire information from Hojo's lab reports; perhaps the man's evil work hadn't been as thoroughly destroyed as he'd thought. Either way, the chance of finding even the smallest thread of data that might help him learn more about what had been done to him was enough to make him willing to hear out ShinRa's job offer, and eventually, sign the contract. Oh, how he was wishing he'd asked for a trial period first to find out more about this mission...
In the defence of Rufus ShinRa and everyone affiliated with him, none of them had been the ones to come up with this plan. It had been painfully obvious that this was his only chance to get close to the target he'd been set after when only a few days of observation had passed. But that didn't stop Vincent from feeling like a complete and total idiot.
Nothing, he thought, was worth wearing a dress for. Not even the chance to kill a perverted crime-boss in exchange for vital information.
Cid gave a wayward glance towards the door. He shrugged and moved back from his drink, deciding that he had come to the bar to drink, not to admire the exits. Things in Rocket Town had been busy, and being one of the keys in the WRO didn't make things any easier either.
With people constantly coming through his town needing things to be delivered to the newly rebuilt city of Midgar, life was hectic. It was about time that he'd taken a break for himself, he needed to move away from busy city life anyway, and the bar had been a good place too comes. With its small amount of customers and cheap booze, the place was generally quiet, and if you didn't count the occasional arguing blather from the drunk in the back corner it was peaceful. Peace was something Cid's tired aching body desperately needed just now, so he downed his drink and called out to the bartender for another.
He was about to down his second beer when he could've sworn he say the tattered end of red cloak float beneath the doorway.
It didn't take very long for Vincent to travel from his small apartment to the bar Do Corneo frequented quite often nowadays; known for the tawdry bawds that served the drinks and food there, it made a fair amount of since when one considered the man's apparent one desire in life.
That, he supposed was the one good thing about this; he didn't have to wear this blasted dress a single moment longer than necessary.
The second Vincent opened the door, he could already feel stares locked on him, and his cheeks started to burn even hotter. He knew how he looked in this outfit- Elena had all-too-eagerly helped him with it in secret (a secret kept on pain of a very violent death). The frills on the white blouse easily hid the lack of breasts to any casual observer, and the flared sleeves his muscled arms, while still somehow falling off his shoulders in a way the blasted woman had smirking promised was highly attractive. The long red skirt was hitched up slightly higher than necessary and just as ruffled as the blouse; his traditional gold 'boots' had been replaced with leather heels and laces and just a peek of fishnet stockings. The only thing remaining of his typical ensemble was his red cloak, kept on the pretence of protecting against the cold wind outside, and the slim, carefully cut strip of red cloth Elena had cut from its hem, which did in place of his typical ragged bandanna to keep his hair from his eyes.
Vincent was fairly certain he'd be unrecognizable to the drunks that frequented this bar. Was, that is, until his crimson stare locked in horror on a single blonde customer seated at the bar.
Cid's jaw nearly broke when he saw the sight before him. Clad in one of the most outstandingly frilly frocks he'd ever seen, stood Vincent Valentine underneath the creaking wooden doorway. The drink in his hand clattered to the floor and shattered against his surface as he struggled pathetically to take in what he was seeing. The most stoic and dark man he'd ever met on his life was dressed entirely in drag before him and, judging by the way he'd clasped his hands in front of him, was attempting to pass himself off as a woman. Cid was drunk, but he didn't think anyone could ever be drunk enough to mistake Vincent and his deathly crimson gaze for a lady fresh off the streets.
He was sure, until the drunk in the far corner began to hoot and cheer at the "woman" who had just made her entrance. Rousing the rest of the drunkards to join in and shout obscenities alongside him. "Vincent," Cid said completely bewildered as to what the hell could have possessed him to something likes this. "Why the hell are yeh dressed up like that?"
Vincent's face was once again as red as the skirt he wore, but he firmly ignored the jeers of the others around in favour of walking to the bar. As he passed Cid, he went directly past him, seeming not to notice him, but took a seat next to him, muttering.
"It's called a disguise, Highwind. What in Gaia's name are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Kalm or on a delivery!"
Vincent had to admit, apart from this one, granted, LARGE, problem, everything was going fairly well. Everyone in the bar thought he was a woman, minus Cid, who now probably thought he was insane. All he had to do was wait for Don Corneo to arrive...
...And preferably convince Cid to go home and never speak of this ever again before he did.
"Disguise?" Cid said with a disbelieving stare "Who are yeh supposed to be fooling? Cause that gimmick aint working on me."
Though Cid didn't let on to it, he was curious as to why exactly the gunner was entering a bar incognito. Though the crowd of drunks seemed to be fooled, Cid wasn't as easily fooled by a lacy dress and boots. If the darkest man on this side of the planet was posing as woman there must've been a damned good reason for it. That or Cid, was twice the drunk he thought. He gave a wayward glance back to the bartender. Had the man slipped something into his drink?
"Vince, why should I be in Kalm or on deliveries? Can't a man take a break every once I a while? The better question would be why YOU are in place like this dressed like," he gestured his hands towards the dress in emphasis. "THIS?"
"You're not the one I'm trying to fool, Highwind! Please, for once, don't be your usual stubborn fool self, and leave- go to another bar to drink yourself into a stupor. I'm on a mission and I can't afford for you to have me screw this-"
Vincent cut off sharply as he caught the sound of the door swinging open once more, loud, slightly-tipsy sounding laughter filling the room. Wonderful.
Don Corneo had just arrived and he was already half-drunk to begin with. Perhaps he should've waited another day or so... Shaking his head and casting a deadly glare at Cid, Vincent called the bartender over to order a glass of whiskey. He didn't normally drink at all if he could avoid it, but he had a bad feeling he was going to need it in particular tonight, and it wouldn't be entirely Don Corneo's fault...
Cid shook his head, disregarding the entrance of the pimp. "I don't wanna leave. If your on a mission, I'm gonna stick around until I figure out what it is... who're yeh workin' for anyways?"
He watched as the gunner ordered himself a glass of whiskey and slowly drank it down. From what he could remember, Vincent had never taken a swig of anything during their times together in AVALANCHE. No matter what the party or cause for celebration, the gunner had never touched any booze a single time. Cid was slightly disturbed by the way the stoic man seemed to be attempting to drown himself in his drink, and choose to turn back to his scotch, for the most part ignoring the rampant calls of the don in the background, only giving the occasional shudder as mentioned how desperate he was to find some pretty girls.
Having finished his drink, Vincent sucked in a deep breath to steady his nerves, before finally, twisting around in his seat so that his back was against the counter, elbows resting on its surface, crimson gaze casting about the room in a decidedly bored fashion. He knew he wouldn't need to do much; Don Corneo had a pretty vast definition of the word 'pretty', and although he hated to admit it, even he looked better than some of the ones the man had chosen in the past. And just as Vincent had predicted...
...It only took one glance in his direction, followed by a quick about face to stare, before a grin of triumph spread across the don's face. Vincent repressed a shudder of disgust, schooling his face into an expression of casual interest, and praying fervently to every deity he'd ever heard of that Cid would just keep his mouth shut and stay out of his business.
"I can't answer you right now," was all he muttered out of the corner of his mouth to the pilot.
Cid almost immediately took notice of how Vincent had looked at the Don. It was look of toying; a look a woman gave to a man when she was trying to lure him in. It bewildered Cid to the core as to why Vincent would want to draw the Don in this direction. "Whatever," he whispered heatedly moving closer the ex-Turk as the pimp made his approach "I won't say anything yet - but I aint leaving, so you better fill me in damn soon."
He leaned away as the fat blonde wobbled over and threw himself down into the empty space beside Vincent, draping his velvet and fur coat over the edge of his stool which creaked and moaned beneath his tremendous weight. 'Hey there beautiful' the don said with a perverse grin sweeping his arm around Vincent's shoulders ' How're you doin' tonight?'
Vincent shot a final warning glance in Cid's direction, before responding. "Well enough, Sir; may I ask the same of you?" The slight curl of his lip could easily be mistaken for a coy smile, but only appeared that way because Vincent was exerting every ounce of willpower he had to keep it from tuning into a look of disgust. It took an enormous amount of determination just to keep from pushing the pig's arm off of him. He rather wished it were Cloud in his place, and not himself...
"I was doing horrible!" exclaimed Corneo, flashing Vincent a daring smirk. "Until I met you gorgeous"
"Cheap." Cid said with a snort of disapproval. Even he could think of a better pick up line than that.
He gave a wayward look in Vincent's direction, unsure of whether he should play along with Vincent's act or if he should rescue the poor man from the clutches of a greedy womanizing fool. He furrowed his brow at the way the blokes sweaty sausage fingers where palming Vincent's shoulders, for some reason the sight of the guy touching Vincent hit a serious nerve; it was taking all of Cid's self control not to deck the blubbering fool in the face.
"So sweetheart," asked the don with an almost non-chalant tone that just barely covered up the obvious excitement hidden in his voice. "Do you like to play much?"
Vincent carefully kept his annoyance, both at this whole situation and at Cid in particular for not making this any easier, from showing in his response to Don Corneo's pathetic attempts at flirting. "I know a couple of games, I suppose," he said in a low drawl, looking away in what he hoped seemed like a woman playing hard to get. If he made this too easy for the Don, he wasn't worried about Corneo catching on; the man was about as intelligent as the toad he so closely resembled. But his guards weren't quite as usefully thick, in fact Vincent had noticed a couple of sharp ones on Corneo's watch, and the last thing he wanted was to get into a gunfight in a bar while he was wearing a dress of all things; Cerberus might be perfectly in reach, strapped as it was to the inside of his left thigh, but he'd rather not have to take it out until he had Corneo trapped exactly where he wanted him.
Cid smirked at Vincent's antic. At least the guy wasn't making things easy for the Don. Now he though of it, Vincent didn't seem to be capable of making things easy for anyone. The ninja brat whom most of the group had despised through their travels had obvious taken a huge liking to the gunner and had apparent made it her mission to 'make the vampire fall in love with her', not that Vincent had complied in the slightest.
It was truly and enjoyable sight and he figured that with all that seemed to be occurring, it wouldn't hurt to egg the pimp on a bit and see if he could scare Vincent out of those skirts. 'Hey Corneo" he said while staring intently at his drink. "How's about you play a few of those games with the girl, it seem like she don't know exactly what yeh mean."
He smirked as he saw the Don smirk out of his peripheral vision. "Yeah darlin'" the Don said leaning closer to the gunner, running a hand throughhis locks. "How about you show me some of your games, and I'll show you some of mine?"
The look Vincent had given Cid when he had turned his head to stare at him in shock was absolutely murderous. What the hell was the pilot playing at? Did he actually think he was -helping- him? Or was he -deliberately- trying to make this even more embarrassing?!
"I'm not a show girl, Don," h said smoothly, finally turning back to give Corneo a sultry smile. "But if we move this somewhere a bit more private, I might be willing to play a while..."
Just for added measure, he reached up with one hand to stroke the man's jaw, and had to suppress his gag reflex when he found it wet with spilled beer.
"you know" Cid said - dangling his empty shot glass between his fingers, enjoying the clinking noise the chunks of ice gave off. "Since I was the one who suggested that, I think it's only fair that I get to come too... Dontcha agree Mr. Corneo?"
Cid inwardly smirked, he didn't want to admit it but he was enjoying Vincent's displeasure. It entertained him that he could apparently take this as far as he wanted and Vincent wasn't going to attempt anything against it. He flashed the gunner a quick smirk -ignoring the glare he received in return- and awaited the Don's reply.
"You know what" giggled Corneo, nuzzling into the pale-mans touch. "If you keep suggesting stuff like you did, I think I won't have any problem bringing you along. Aint that right gorgeous?"
Vincent had to remind himself to keep smiling as he nodded coyly; it wouldn't do to refuse, it would seem out of place in the type of woman he was masquerading as. He kept telling himself about that scientific paper Shelke had found in the library about how smiling suppresses the gag reflex. He'd need every ounce of help he could get to stomach the rest of this mission...
"Whatever you want,"
Cid smirked in approval. Enjoying Vincent's growing displease with an obnoxious passion. He decided that, with the way things where headed, if he kept pushing things just right it might not be long before he received the enjoyment of watching Vincent strip himself into a common whore.
"Hey Don!" he said finally downing the rest of his drink "What say you, me, and this pretty little lady take off right about now?"
Corneo gave a pudgy smirk, the kind a new playboy gave to his first 'bunny'.
"That all depends," he gave a coy look to the brunette in his arms. "Are you ready to leave darlin?"
"The sooner the better," Vincent purred with barely-concealed venom.
'I'll knock them both out the second the door's locked and when Tseng and the others break in to get them, I'll say that Cid's been conspiring with him, and let Reno practice his interrogation skills on the smug bastard...
"Well then!" Cid said, with a glee that he failed to keep hidden. "Let's get goin'!" He slapped a few Gil onto the counter and patiently waited for the other two to rise.
Corneo outstretched his greasy fingers towards Vincent as if a prince offering his hand to his fair maiden.
"Shall we go then m'dear? I was hoping you would know where we're going and might lead the way..." He gave a perverse grin. "I haven't gotten the chance to see you from behind yet."
A/N: And thats the end of chapter 1! More to come soon! The RP is actually nearly finnished so i'm thinking they're are only going to be a maz of 3 or 4 chapters to this fic! Enjoy! And please leave a review!