The call came at 2 am.
Loud, obnoxious, familiar as it was, it took Tony a few seconds to react to the cell's insistent buzz. Deep sleep was such a luxury that even after seven plus years as an agent, he still deeply resented that sound. "One day, I'm gonna throw that thing across the room just for the joy of watching it smash…." Tony ran his hand through his hair as he grabbed his phone off the nightstand, still more than half asleep and answering automatically, which accounted for his immediate shock.
"Yeah Boss?"
" Ohmygod Tony! I'm so sorry to wake you up, but you've got to get over here NOW!" Abby 's voice, frantic at 2 in the morning, calling him on his cell. What?!? Abby?
"What? Abs slow down! What's wrong? Where do I have to go? Where's Gibbs?" God, how Tony hated mornings. Seeing Abby's number on caller id began to clear the cobwebs. So this wasn't a case. He readjusted to catch the end of Abby's only slightly moderated explanation.
"…… and she won't respond. I swear Tony, she's half catatonic. I don't know what to do. I don't know what happened. Hell, I don't even know if she's been drugged, although I think that's highly unlikely given that we never left our drinks and watched the bartender make them. God! It's so bad Tony. You've got to come. You're closest and I don't know what to do!"
"Abby, SLOW DOWN! I am only half awake and you're talking too fast. Who is half catatonic and where exactly do I need to go? Is anyone dead?"
"Ziva." Ziva what? You're so stupid I'm going to call Ziva? Ziva's dead? Tony's stomach took a downward turn as he struggled to make sense out of Abby's warp speed diatribe, dress, and grab his keys.
"Ziva what, Abby? Is she there? Pass her the phone. You're not making any sense."
"Haven't you heard anything I've said? I can't pass her the phone. Well, I guess I could, but she wouldn't talk and I don't even think that right now she recognizes me. She's the one in trouble. No one is dead. Tony, you've got to hurry."
"I AM hurrying, Abby, but I need to know where you are to get there. Are you in an Emergency room, an alley, some Goth tattoo parlor? You've got to help me out here."
"Geez, you really are slow in the morning! Is this how you deal with Gibbs' early morning calls? I'm at Ziva's ." Abby slowed down to "I used to only have to go this slowly for Psycho Chip" speed. "We went out after work to Happy Hour at the Grill, then watch a movie. You know, Girls' Night Out. We haven't had nearly enough of that since she got back. Anyway, the plan was for me to stay here over night so that driving or metro riding under the influence wouldn't be an issue. So we get back here, talk a while, then decide to call it a night. It was actually pretty early. I know Ziva was tired, but it was all good. Elevenish we turn in, hello sleep and all that. Then about an hour ago, well an hour and a half now, 'cause you're dragging your feet…."
"I'm not dragging my feet! I'm in the car and on my way. It's called multitasking."
"Anyway, about an hour and a half ago, I wake up to these blood curdling screams. I mean really scary stuff, Tony. Like the kind I'll have my own nightmares about."
Cursing under his breath as a car cut him off, Tony tried not to go medieval on the jerk, his car or his cell. He couldn't help Ziva or Abby if he got himself arrested. It was looking as if he might have to bail Zee out of jail….
"Abs, who did she cut up, and why were they in her house? Why is she half catatonic?"
"That's just the point, Tony. No one tried to break in. She must have had a nightmare. Strike that. A Technicolor, 3D horror movie dream or whatever constitutes that for Ziva. When she wouldn't stop screaming, I opened her bedroom door, fully expecting to get shot, and God Tony," Abby burst into tears, "Ziva was curled into a ball on the far side of her bed, frantic and totally gone somewhere into her head. Where are you? I thought Ziva told me you were only 10 minutes away…."
"I'm at the door, honey. Let me in." This can't be good, thought Tony as he heard Abby pound to the front door and release several locks. I think it's going to be a long day.
Ziva's door opened to a deeply distressed, weeping Abby, cell phone still in her hand. One look at her Very Special Agent friend resulted in a bone-crushing hug for Tony and ugly mascara lines on the front of his sweatshirt. Abby immediately grabbed his hand and began dragging him towards the back of the house.
"She's stopped yelling, but she is totally unresponsive, except to try to make herself part of the wall when I approach her. She won't take her eyes off me, but it's like she's seeing someone else." Hand on Ziva's bedroom door knob, Abby was fully prepared to throw Tony to Fate, but he managed to stop her. Gut churning, and a gnawing suspicion of the problem lurking in the back of his mind, he managed to get a just a little more information before going in.
"Ok. You said she isn't talking. Did she say anything when she was screaming? Anything coherent and in English, that is?"
"Not that I understood. Maybe something in Hebrew or Arabic? Tony, I don't even think she knows where she is." Wheels finally turning, Abby's eyes widened. "Could this have something to do with last summer? Some kind of PTSD thing? I would have thought she'd have worked that stuff out by now, considering her training and the number of psych evals that Vance has put her through. After all, it's been over 6 months."
"I gather that sometimes this stuff can take you by surprise and at any time. It might have been better for you to have called Ducky."
"I thought about that, but Ducky is over 40 minutes out, and I guess I figured since you're her partner and you were actually with her in Somalia, not to mention a lot closer to here, you'd be a better choice. Besides, at some point she's going to be mortified about this and I wanted her to be…"
"Protected." The word left Tony's mouth of its own accord. They exchanged a knowing look and Tony took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
"Alrighty then. Well, let's see if she's out of flight and into fight. Be ready to dial 911. It might get ugly if she's remembered that she has guns in the house."
"That's not funny, Tony. Not at all."
"I know Abs. Believe me, I know." Tony placed his hand on the door knob and gently opened the door, moving softly but not stealthily. Fractured traumatized Ziva was one thing. Fractured, traumatized, violent Ziva could be deadly. He need not have worried. The bundle on the far side of the bed was a danger to no one but herself. Even the demons she was trying to banish were safe for the moment. Part of a secret place in Tony's heart shattered. Ziva hadn't looked that terrified and helpless when she was actually bound and in the interrogation "room" in Somalia. Abby was right. This was really bad. Very slowly he approached the bed, taking care that Ziva could see him and every move he made. Five steps felt like fifty. He finally reached the bed and slowly sat down on the opposite edge from his partner. He could be in her line of vision, but not invade her personal bubble. Funny that I should think of Ziva having a personal bubble, Tony thought. She never thinks about anyone else's…What kind of jerk am I? She's tearing herself apart here and I'm being snide in my head. Must be like laughing at a funeral…..Bringing himself back to the situation at hand, he turned his full attention to his partner.
"Ziva?" An unseeing glance in his direction.
"Ziva, it's Tony. Do you know where you are?" Tony put all the tenderness and concern he could muster into his voice. Nothing.
"I hear you and Abby had a Girls' Night Out. How many men did you two drive into a frenzy before you left the Grill?" Same tone, but accompanied by a smile. No response. Not even a glance. Ziva started rocking, silently weeping. Tony began to panic. If he couldn't get some sort of positive response from her, they would have to call Ducky, which would mean they would have to call Gibbs, which meant Bethesda Emergency. And Vance. I can't do that, he thought. She's been through enough and Vance already thinks she's damaged goods. Damn him and his ultra-cool "I'm the Man" shit. Why did he have to actually SAY that to her? This is worse than Paris, and no one knows about that but us. He pulled himself together and started over.
"Please, Zee. It's just me. There's nobody here but you, me , and Abby. You're in your own house, in your own bed, and no one is going to hurt you. Can you at least look at me?" This time he dropped his voice to a tone just above a whisper, trying in the interim to inch closer to her, catch her eyes with his own. The movement worked. Ziva managed to turn her tear-stained face to his. There was even a tiny bit of recognition in her eyes.
"Tony?" Her voice was barely a whisper, but at least she was speaking. "Why are you here? They will kill you."
"Who will kill me sweetheart? Where are you? What have they done to you?" It may have been foolish to ask where she was when he had just told her, but he knew that she wasn't processing words properly at the moment. Besides, it might get her to actually verbalize some things that needed release. Who cared if she thought she was somewhere else?
"Salim and his men. You are of no use to them. Why are you here?"
Biting his lip and inwardly wincing, Tony fell into character, hoping that Abby wasn't listening in the hallway. It wasn't his pride that made him flinch. It was the knowledge that if Paris were any indication, Ziva wouldn't remember the conversation, and the things he needed to say to bring her around would be forgotten no matter how much he meant them.
"It's like I said before. Couldn't live without you, I guess. I need you around to keep me in line. Life just isn't worth it when you're not there. Besides, Salim can't kill me. I've got a plan."
"And what plan is that? Keep your voice down! They will hear you!" Now he had her attention and recognition. He could work with that even if it meant pretending to be back in Bizarro World for a little while longer. Maybe he should talk to McGee about using this to write a new video game….Or go into acting. An Oscar would look really great on his mantel next to his fraternity paddle. Who was he kidding? McGee would use it in his next novel, and his beautiful ninja would kill them both. His ninja. He really had to stop.
"The plan is to get all of us out of here alive and I've almost succeeded, but I need for you to hold on for a little longer. Could you please have your breakdown later?" Now THAT did it. Tony saw the immediate flash of anger.
"I am not having a breakdown. I am much better trained than that. It has just gotten to be a little……much, today. What do you need me to do?" Tony didn't know whether to burst with pride at her rally or burst into tears worse than those from Abby's earlier moment at the front door. Ziva watched him expectantly while he gathered his thoughts. Still using France as a reference, Tony assumed that his next words would either drag her back from her mental hell or push her further into the delusion. Banking on the former, he took a breath and began to speak softly and firmly.
"Ziva, I need for you to look at me, then I need you to look very carefully around this room. McGee is distracting the guards."
Bottomless black eyes met green. Ziva looked at Tony's disheveled form. He needs a shower and a shave, she thought distractedly, then realized that he was clean and shaven. A small bell began to go off in the back of her mind. She looked closer, noting how peacefully he was sitting on the bed, unbound and apparently no worse from the beating Salim's men had given him. Beating? Bed? Ohio State sweatshirt? He smelled like Ivory soap and Drakkar Noir, not dirt, sweat, blood and filthy terrorists….Something wasn't right. Alarmed without knowing why, she began to tense, her eyes widening again. Before she could withdraw, Tony intruded into her thoughts.
"Good girl. You see me, right? Don't leave me. Stay right here and look around the room slowly."
Jostled back into the semi-present, Ziva caught his eyes again and took a deep breath. She began a visual of her surroundings, becoming increasingly agitated as she absorbed the space. No dirt floor, no bugs, no sinister pile of restraints by the door…. No locked steel door…..Bed linens, pale blue walls, a bookcase. And still Tony, oblivious to their danger, dressed like the boy next door, sitting on the edge of the bed waiting with most unnatural patience. What does he want me to do? She wondered . This room is set up like my new house….. She started to shake with the effort of trying to maintain her composure.
Seeing the shaking Tony spoke again, inching ever closer to his partner.
"Ok. You see the room for what it is now. Don't go back to that place in your head Zee. Stay with me. Do you recognize your stuff?" Still shaking, Ziva nodded. She stopped her half-hearted attempt to back away from Tony into the headboard.
"Why are you clean? Salim is not prone to allowing cleanliness to infidel spies."
"I took a shower after working out this afternoon. And that American -educated CafPow swilling nutcase is gone. You are safe. Look at me Ziva. He can't hurt you , me, or McGee. It's over." He inched close enough to touch her , but kept his hands on his legs where she could see them. He also maintained eye contact. Please, please, please stay in the present, he silently pled.
"You worked out this afternoon? I do not understand. When Abby and I left you still had…" and then came the impact of the situation. Ziva converted the last of her sentence into an inhalation which nearly sucked all the oxygen from the room, following it with a terrifying wail made even more frightening because of her usual composure. Fear, realization, mortification, and infinite sadness played across her face before she managed to get her hands up to cover her shock. They didn't stay there long, because Tony had expected it, very firmly wresting them away while wrapping his own arms around her. Ziva didn't even offer a token resistance, so torn that she not only permitted the embrace but actually welcomed it, sobbing even more loudly into his chest and holding onto him as if he were a lifeline.
"Not again, oh not again! NOT AGAIN! I will not allow it! Tony I cannot do this. It is weakness. I am alive and that is enough. He will not win! I will not allow it!" Rage crept into the emotional mix as Ziva shook and shivered by turn, bawling in what could only be termed an "Ugly Cry". No matter. Tony had thought she was beautiful after 4 months of consistent torture and no personal hygiene. He had also seen her nearly this distressed once before, so he was considerably less shocked by her weeping, although no less concerned. He tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head , muttering soothing noises into her hair. She smelled like lavender, shampoo, and, well Ziva. Tony took brief refuge in some violent musing. I want to bring that bastard back just long enough to kill him myself. Why should Gibbs have had all the fun? Then again, there's still Eli David to crush….Better yet, that nimrod Ben Gidon. And here she is blaming herself for a "lack of strength". I really, really want to hurt them…..
"It is most definitely NOT weakness, Zee. My guess is that it's delayed or repressed trauma," Ziva sobbed louder, and Tony heard Abby come flying down the hall for the fifth time. He hoped that she would wait for number six to actually open the bedroom door.
"It'll be ok, baby. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY can get to you here. Don't you remember what Gibbs told MiniMe Malachi? You're off limits. Even Vance backed it, and he's supposed to be your father's friend. And Salim is dead, remember? You were witness to The Great Sniper using his powers for good." Ziva gave a weak chuckle as the worst of the shaking subsided. She backed away just enough to look up at Tony's face. His expression was a study in concern, tenderness, anxiety, and…..something she had trouble attributing to him when he looked at her. Trust Tony to start making movie and television references when he was flustered.
"Who is 'MiniMe' , and why do you say that Malachi is he? And what movie has a Great Sniper? Is it not bad enough that I have become such an emotional weakling without you confusing me with characters about which I know nothing?" Ziva snuggled back into Tony's chest , finally relaxing . She was calming down , less ashamed of cracking in front of Tony this time , but still deeply troubled about the chink in her psychological armor. She had heard him say repressed trauma. His use of psychological terms meant that he was seriously worried and no longer thought of her "incident" in Paris as an aberration. Serious worry could only lead to the inclusion of Gibbs and Ducky, something she desperately wanted to avoid. She trusted both of them, but she just didn't feel up to a group share. May as well have a "Ziva Has Finally Gone Crazy Party" and invite them all, she thought morosely. Better that than someone getting their feelings hurt because they are the last to find out my dark little secret. She chuckled weakly again. Only I could find the irony in being this messed up and still worrying about everyone's feelings. She yawned into the word "Ohio" on Tony's sweatshirt, suddenly overwhelmingly sleepy. Oh yes, this is very much like what happened in Paris, she mused. Except we are in my house, neither of us is half naked, and Abby is…..OH GOD! Now Abby knows!
"Abby!"
"What about her? She's in your living room worried to death. She's the one who called me. You wouldn't respond to her, so she called in the cavalry." Tony reluctantly let Ziva back away enough to look at him again, but didn't take his hands from her. He needed the physical contact as much as she did and wasn't about to have her slip out of reach.
" I wouldn't respond? I do not understand."
"You didn't know who she was or where you were. When she tried to talk to you, you twisted into a knot and tried to become one with your headboard, honey. I feel pretty safe in saying that you scared the living shit out of her. I know how she feels. You were like that at first in Paris, and that was no joke."
A deep blush began to creep up Ziva's neck and into her face, an expression of mingled confusion and disbelief replacing shock. She dropped her eyes to the duvet.
"I do not remember."
"I figured as much. Let me guess. You remember hearing me and thinking that we were still in Somalia. And you remember when you made the switch back to the present."
"Yes. You smelled different. Clean. And you were not , what is the word, "roughed up". It did not fit with what I thought that I saw. And McGee was not on the floor."
"Do you remember anything at all before that? Like what you were thinking or even why you might have been screaming?" He knew it was fruitless to ask, but the investigator in him just had to go there.
"No. One minute I was close to sleep, the next I was in that room, with no possible escape." Ziva began to tremble again, fighting fatigue and frustration. She slid back into Tony's arms hoping the contact with his solid form would help the shaking, pleasantly surprised when it did. There was a knock on the bedroom door.
"Tony? What's going on? " Abby poked her head into the bedroom, worry etched on her face by mascara streaks.
"Hey Abs. Finally decided to brave the closed door, eh? Come on in and join the party!" Tony turned in Abby's direction, arms still firmly around Ziva, and motioned with his hand for Abby to come closer. Ziva, her face burning with embarrassment, gamely tried to smile at Abby, failing miserably. Abby chose to ignore Ziva's obvious discomfort and plopped solidly on the bed next to the two agents.
"This is like a pajama party, only there's no party and Tony's broken the rules by wearing street clothes."
"Abby, I don't wear pajamas."
" OK, not a visual that I think either I or Ziva need at the moment, although as I recall, you have quite a nice handful of ass……"
"ABBY!" Tony turned beet red, suddenly wishing heartily that he was somewhere else. "Is this how you react to stress? 'Cause I've got to say, it's a little unnerving. Stop! You'll embarrass the assassin." Looking down at Ziva, he noticed that she had begun to giggle, all earlier tension seemingly evaporated. He knew her too well to totally buy it, but gave her the temporary lie for Abby's sake. He didn't need both women dissolving into heaps. If they decided to turn on him they could kill him and destroy the evidence with very little effort. Best to pretend acceptance. Anything to reassure Abby and distract Ziva from the ghosts in her head. Ziva disengaged from Tony and allowed what passed for a light hug from Abby.
"Abby, I am sorry if I frightened you. Please forgive me. I have been an awful hostess." Abby backed up slightly, a frown of concern back on her face.
"Ziva David, don't you dare apologize for something you obviously couldn't help! I'm just glad that you know who I am now. Is this a nightly occurrence, or some weird Mossad flashback? If this is a regular feature of your sleep pattern I'm amazed that you aren't nearly dead from exhaustion! And you are NOT an awful hostess. "
"No, it is not a regular event, and it is also not a 'Mossad flashback'. I do not know what it is, but I am fine now and there is no need to worry." Ziva put on her best game face, praying that Abby was too tired and too grateful for Tony's presence to challenge her. Ziva could handle Tony alone, but the two of them together might get it into their heads that she needed a hospital and she just didn't have the strength to fight both of them at once.
Abby watched her friend's face carefully. She was not quite the master of facial expressions that, say Gibbs was, able to practically smell a lie from an eyebrow lift, but she did know when she was being played, however sweetly the play was made. This was definitely a play and it frightened her. Particularly the part where Tony was giving her the "Don't push this, let me handle it" eye from behind Ziva's head. He knows more than he's willing to say, and he's trying to protect her, she thought. This is so not good. Ziva may need a doctor, some medication, and he's stonewalling me when I called him to help. Tony's face behind Ziva grew more stern and she saw his jaw tighten. Ok, she thought, guess this means I need to make a graceful exit. But he will pay for this.
"Okay, Ziva, if you say so, but I am still worried for you. Are you sure you don't want me to call Ducky? He might be able to give you something to help you sleep." Ziva looked as if she had swallowed a hedgehog and Tony looked ready to jump out of his skin. Aha! Abby gloated to herself, that definitely hit a nerve with both of them. I bet that this has happened before. I'll let them off the hook tonight, but Tony will so have to spill to me on Monday……
"No Abby, I do not think that it is necessary to call Ducky. I had a rather bad nightmare. That is all. And I am sorry that I woke you up."
"Well, this is certainly one Girls' Night Out that I won't be forgetting anytime soon! If you don't mind, though, Ziva, I think that I might just go on home. I'm ok to drive and all , and it might help you to just be alone."
"Abby, I don't want you driving home this late unless you promise to call me when you get home".
"I second that emotion!" Tony chimed in."Too many nut cases drinking and driving. Call me on my cell when you get home. And I'll walk you out to the car."
"Listen to the Mossad Mommy and my big brother! Guys I appreciate the concern, but I am a big girl. If it matters that much to you though, I'll call you both when I get home." Geez, they're in a hurry to cut me out of whatever this is. Both of them are going to pay….Tony most of all, because he knows better than to leave me out. At least Ziva's in good hands though. Abby got up from the bed and headed for the guest bedroom to pick up her overnight bag. Tony padded after her.
"Abs, don't be mad. I promise to fill you in as soon as I know what the deal is."
"I'm not mad. I'm just a little hurt that you don't trust me to keep a secret."
"Abby I totally trust you, you know that . She just isn't in a place where she wants everybody to know."
"And by everybody I suppose you mean everyone except you? What's going on anyway? This has happened before hasn't it? I bet it was in Paris. That would be the only time you would have been the only one to see it, whatever it is. She could need some serious help, Tony."
" I know that Abby. I just don't think that it's my tale to tell. I DO know that it will be my ass if I do tell it when she trusts me to keep quiet. You know how she can be about trust issues. The last time she thought I betrayed her trust, I had to take on Vance and go to Somalia to prove myself. Trust me when I say that I'm not jonesing for a repeat anytime soon. Besides, so far it hasn't affected her job, and I don't want to get into that unless I absolutely have to. Take on Ziva about a personal trust thing? Jesus! Have you seen her knife collection alone? Not to mention what she can do with a perfectly innocent spork?" Tony visibly shivered.
"Don't give me that line about having to win her trust back, Tony! You went to Somalia because you thought Ziva was dead, you were hurting nine ways to Sunday, and you wanted revenge, pure and simple. Actually revenge is not all that pure an emotion. It's rather impure and involves quite a bit of deceit, which you guys have to use a lot in ops, not that you are liars or anythng. It's just that.....Oh Crap! I've lost my train of thought! Now I remember! You didn't go over there because of trust issues....Sell that swill to someone who's buying, DiNozzo, not me! The least you could do is not insult my intelligence when you try to humor me! I'm surprised at you Tony!" Abby picked up her bag, fixing Tony with a look that made him squirm. He really thinks that no one can see how he feels about Ziva. Tony's gone and didn't even think to lock the door behind him! I can't wait to see what happens when this goes public...
The thought of a completely in love, mooning Tony restored Abby's good humor, and she rearranged her face into a pert smile. "So Agent DiNozzo, you want to walk me to my hearse, or do I brave the porch and sidewalk alone?"
Tony blinked, coming out of the daze he reserved for Abby's rants. It still amazed him how swiftly Abby could shift gears. It could give a person emotional whiplash keeping up with her. Smiling slightly, he started to take Abby's bag for her when he realized that he had left Ziva alone for far longer than he had intended.
"Just a sec, Abs. Let me go check on Ziva. Be right back." Tony walked back down the hall to the master bedroom as quietly as he had left it. The door was ajar, so he peeked in, bracing for a possible second round. Ziva was sleeping quietly, or at least giving the appearance of it, so breathing a small sigh of relief, he turned his attention back to seeing Abby to her car. Time to get at least one of his favorite women out of the Danger Zone.