A/N: It's been a while, but I'm back. I've been watching non stop the seventh season of Buffy (I tapped all the episodes) and I just felt the need to write some S/B fluff. Enjoy everyone!
This takes place at the end of "Storyteller" (a great ep). Spoilers up until that episode.
Disclaimer: It's not mine, never was, never will be. Gawsh, now I'm kinda sad.
Distribution: It ya want it, take it, just ask me first, and tell me where it's going.
That all said, read and enjoy! ______________________________________________________________________
Why Didn't You Tell Me?
"Remind me again. Why are we watching this?"
Andrew rolled his eyes in a 'duh' motion at what he considered Buffy's, in his mind, stupid question.
"Because, I spent the whole day making this fine piece of film making genius and I'm not gonna let some party poop like you spoil it for me."
Buffy raised her eyes to the man in mock shock, slight annoyance grazing her features, as it always did when the blonde pest that was Andrew was mentioned.
"You want me to tie you up again?" She was serious, he knew it, and he hated it.
Andrew immediately lost some of the colour in his face.
"No, ma'am," he replied shortly, instead putting the tape in and sitting on the floor, all of the actual seats having been taken already by the other occupants of the room.
As well as Buffy and Andrew; Xander, Willow, Anya, Kennedy and Dawn were gathered around the t.v, most of the occupants had bored expressions. Cross that, all of them had bored expressions, all except Andrew.
But none except Buffy were complaining, it seemed. No one had any real objection to watching the film, for a couple it was just another way to escape from their apocalyptic reality.
"Come on Buff, how many times are we gonna get time enough to sit down and enjoy ourselves for a couple of hours?" Xander stated his case, earning a general mumble of agreement from the rest of the occupants of the room. Andrew grinned at the back up.
"That's just the thing, maybe we don't have time to do something like this. The end is coming, as much as we don't want it to. Giles is away gathering more potentials, so it's left to us to hold down the fort," Buffy responded, looking flustered.
"Look, the girls are upstairs asleep, and nothing is gonna happen right now. A little relaxation time might be good for us right now," Willow said, backing up both Xander and Andrew.
"I should be out patrolling then. Spike may need some help..."
"Dead Boy Jr has it covered Buff, it's alright, just relax for once."
Buffy finally relented, seeing as she wasn't going to win, and Andrew pressed play on the remote with an almost giddy look in his eye.
The tape started with an introduction from the very last of the nerd trio, spouting off about Buffy and heroism, and telling random stories that he had heard floating about, and using his own creative imagination to change them slightly. Buffy started to rethink her idea of relenting so easily.
It seemed hours of footage was being played, and comments were being shared at the various scenes being shown. Buffy and Xander exchanged a worried glance when Andrew talked about the carpenters work on the curtains in the living room. Willow and Kennedy were making out just out of the shot, and any sane - or straight - male would be filming that instead. It was just another tick in the 'Andrew is gay' column.
As the hours went by, various people excused themselves to go to bed. Dawn was first, followed closely by Willow and Kennedy. About half an hour later Anya left also, complaining of the lack of sex, and on the pretence of being bored out of her mind.
Buffy, Xander and Andrew were now the only ones left. Buffy had to admit she thought it was amusing how Andrew would turn everything around, even though she wouldn't say that out loud. Of course, it had been incredibly annoying when he was filming everything.
The footage at the seal in the High School came up and Andrew made a quick escape, saying he was too tired to watch any more, and to rewind everything when they were done. It was clear though that that particular memory was still too fresh and raw, and he just hadn't wanted to deal with it yet.
It just left Buffy and Xander then, as they watched in silence. The screen went blank after a while, and Xander made his exit, saying they should do it again sometime. Buffy smiled and gave him a half nod in response.
She was about to press rewind on the tape when it suddenly sprang to life once again, and new footage was displayed in front of the slayer.
It was of Spike.
He was in the basement, looking at the floor, and then suddenly he looked up, an angry expression of his features.
"I told you to piss of with that bloody camera, yet here you are again with that thing in my face." He flicked his cigarette butt in the direction of the camera.
"Would you sod of, before I rip your throat out and eat..." A cough interrupted the vampire's rant, and he immediately stopped, his face becoming less intimidating.
"Uh, Spike, the light was sort of behind you." Andrew's off screen voice told the bleach blonde.
Buffy had to stifle a laugh as Spike's mouth formed a perfect 'o' and he moved back so the 'light' would be in front of him. His Big Bad image was totally ruined in those couple of seconds, but then Spike put the tough guy guise back on, and resumed his position.
"Oh, is this better then? Right." Spike clenched his jaw to get back into character.
"I told you to piss of with that bloody camera, yet here you are again with that thing in my face. Would you sod of?" With a pointed finger, his finished his monologue, and Buffy had to hold a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.
"Okay, thank you Spike, that'll be all for now."
Andrew's soft voice came over the camera, and Buffy watched as the blonde boy lowered the camera onto a table that had a perfect view of two chairs, one of which Spike had plonked himself down just before. Blocking the vampire's sight, Andrew looked as though he was fiddling with the buttons of the camera, pretending to turn it off.
He did no such thing however.
"Okay, it's off," Andrew stated, and Spike nodded in vague understanding. He had lit another cigarette, and was currently blowing smoke through his pursed lips. His expression clearly told Buffy that he was annoyed Andrew was still there.
"What's the red button flashing mean then?" The vampire questioned, eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
"The battery is recharging itself," Andrew answered quickly. Spike had not much knowledge of things such as a video camera, so Andrew's excuse seemed to fit nicely, and he gave it no more thought.
The younger blonde had made himself comfortable in the other wooden chair that occupied the downstairs basement.
"Yes?" Spike asked the boy with disinterest, his body clearly stating he wanted to be alone at that particular moment. But Andrew just regarded him curiously for the moment, not answering Spike's short question.
"What do you want, monkey boy?" The vampire elaborated, and Andrew sighed wistfully, obviously not paying real attention to Spike's words.
"Why do you stay here?" The boy asked, surprisingly the vamp with the unexpected question.
"What, the basement?" He questioned, not giving Andrew time to answer.
"I figured it's better than shacking up with the girls up there. Plus I don't fully trust myself with them yet, with the trigger and all. And I think it's fair to say my crypt's been taken over by now. The basement seemed like a good option," Spike took a lazy drag on his cigarette as he unknowingly answered the wrong question.
"No, no that Spike. Why do you stay in Sunnydale? This town has a bad reputation, and with your history with it..." Andrew trailed off, not wanting to anger the very lethal predator in front of him. As if it was Spike growled at being reminded of his past. He flicked the remains of his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it with the heel of his boot, anger piercing through his azure eyes.
But just as quickly as it came, the angered looked was gone from his features, to be replaced by a softer emotion. Buffy could tell even from watching the screen his eyes were twinkling with some unknown emotion.
"I think it's pretty obvious why," Spike half evaded, realising who he was talking to. Andrew didn't seem to mind the side-stepping.
The younger of the men raised his thumb and forefinger to his face, stroking his chin as if in deep thought.
"Hmm, yes. Would you mind clarifying it for me though, Spike?" He had an air of mischief in his voice, covered cleverly by innocence.
"Her," he whispered, powerful emotions dripping from that one tiny word.
"The slayer," he elaborated, just in case the boy in front of him was a little slow on the uptake.
Buffy sat gripping the armchair tightly as she waited, as Andrew did, for Spike to say more. Even though she was watching a screen and she knew it, Buffy couldn't help but feel as if she were right there, in the middle of the conversation, feeling like it was her talking to Spike instead of Andrew.
"I stayed for her, I'll do anything for her," Spike dropped his head a little, as if he felt ashamed he was admitting this to someone as foreign and strange as the boy sitting across from him.
"And the truth is everyone knows it. I'd go to hell and back for her. I'd die for her, or, at least, be dusted for her. You know; I once told her I was drowning in her. Nothing could be more true. Every day I'm with her, I just sink deeper and deeper, until I think I can't possibly feel any more for her. But then she'll look at me, or smile at me, or say something to me, something so small and mediocre you really wouldn't think much of it in normal circumstances. And she'll do that, and I just sink deeper. There's no place I would rather be than here with her."
Buffy had tears in her eyes by that statement he just made, but Andrew wasn't finished with the questions.
With obvious tears running down his pale face, the small boy asked a question even Buffy had been doubting the answer to as of late.
"So do you still love her then?"
The words Spike had just uttered should have been more than enough to ensure in Buffy's mind what his answer would be, but still the slayer found herself leaning forward unconsciously, biting her nails in painful waiting.
"Do I still love her?" Spike echoed, and he laughed, making Buffy unsure of what he meant by it.
Buffy drew in a breath as she waited impatiently for him to answer the question, but he didn't give her that privilege, and even Andrew seemed pained.
"You know, I really didn't think having a soul would change my feelings for the slayer. But it did. I just figured it would make it more real in her eyes. But that wasn't all that happened. My feelings for Buffy changed so much that I was starting to wonder if I really did love her at all before." Spike paused quickly, and Buffy felt her heart constrict and her breathing quicken as she waited for him to continue, although right now she wasn't sure she even really wanted him to.
"Because whatever I was feeling before the soul, was built up ten-fold. If I really did love her before, then right now my feelings go beyond love. Beyond life even. I've stopped trying to describe my feelings for her. No words in the human language could ever do justice to how I feel."
Both Buffy and Andrew were crying openly now, tears streaming down both their cheeks. But while Buffy had the common sense to keep it quiet so she wouldn't wake anybody, Andrew, on the screen, bawled loudly, not knowing that sense of curtesy.
Buffy was busy thinking about how amazingly beautiful and astoundingly poetic Spike's words were, and how no one had ever said anything like that to her - or about her for that matter - before in her life.
Meanwhile, Spike on the screen looked up angrily at Andrew, almost as if he was noticing for the first time that he was actually talking to someone instead of just rambling to himself like he was so accustomed to these days that it became almost normal.
"Will you stop your blubbering? Someone might hear," he hissed, forcing a quiet calm to fall over the cold basement.
The only sound for a long time was that of the washing machine whirring as it cleaned the clothes of the ever growing population of potential slayers that set up home at Revello Drive.
"She makes you a better person," Andrew stated once he regained his composure. Those words were spoken with such certainty that his words almost dared Spike to deny them. He took the bait.
"'m not a person," the bleached blonde responded, his own certainty over this fact outweighing Andrew's previous words.
"She makes you a better demon," the boy amended, while still sticking to his earlier statement.
By this time Buffy was transfixed, not able to look away or press stop even if she wanted to.
"Yes," the self confessed 'demon' answered quietly, his head hanging low like he was ashamed of the fact, when really he shouldn't have been.
"She makes you want to be better, for her," Andrew moved the words around to make a new sentence, and Spike nodded.
"Yes," he confirmed once again.
The room had become so serious, Buffy could hardly believe 'Andrew' of all people was leading this interview, of sorts.
And what's more, Spike was actually opening up to him, something Buffy couldn't have gotten him to do if she tried.
And just when Buffy thought this conversation couldn't get any more serious, and gloomy, Andrew asked a question that surprised both herself and Spike as well.
"You don't think you're going to make it, do you?"
Spike's shock on the screen came out to meet the slayer's own confused and shocked self. She couldn't believe the meek little boy had asked something so powerful as this, but at the same time she felt an eagerness to understand just how Spike felt about this looming fight.
"I think this will be my last fight, yeah," Spike admitted, shocking Buffy and himself at the revelation.
Andrew's face held an unexpected calm Buffy didn't know he could possess as he regarded his unlikely companion silently.
"You think it's a possibility you may have to die to save her life," the younger of the two observed quietly, his gaze never wavering from the vampire in front of him. For a nerd and a wimp, he was surprisingly observant.
Spike nodded slightly, looking shocked at the boy.
"The thought crossed my mind, yeah," he answered, his voice not betraying any of the emotion he was bound to be feeling at that particular moment.
"Does she know?"
"What? Of my willingness to die for her? No, I don't think so anyway."
Andrew nodded slightly, before his gaze settled on Spike's right palm.
"And does she know about your scar, and your promise?" At those words, Spike let his demon visage appear, but only for a second, before he forced it back down inside. For a while he regarded the boy carefully, and - Buffy was sure her eyes were deceiving her - cautiously.
"How did you know about that?" Spike replied, a little too snappy. Buffy sat entranced, wondering what the hell Andrew was talking about.
"I saw you do it," Andrew responded, his voice way too calm. If he weren't sitting in a chair, and hadn't touched the camera before, Buffy would have assumed it was the First. He was so, well, not Andrew.
"Oh," was all Spike could manage. He didn't seem like he would say any more on that subject.
Buffy wondered then if she would ever find out just what exactly he promised, or why he had a scar on his palm. She had noticed it, a neat slice along the top of Spike's hand. She hadn't bothered asking him about it, figuring he had just gotten it while off fighting some nasty beast or what not. But now she knew there was more to it, and she desperately wanted to know exactly what it was.
Thankfully, Andrew helped her.
"Why did you do it Spike?"
"You know why! When it comes to protecting Buffy and her kin, I've slipped up more times than I can count. And each time, I knew I could have done something more to help them, but I didn't. Something held me back." Spike paused, taking in a shuddering breath, even though it was hardly necessary.
"I made the cut so every time I helped out the slayer and her gang, I could be reminded that I can't hold back. With this fight coming up, that's important, now more than ever. I made the promise so I wouldn't slip up. So that when the time came, I would do everything I could to protect them all, and to not hold back. Because dammit, it's better me than them."
Just when Buffy thought he was about to say more, an annoyingly loud beeping cut off his words. The camera was making weird noises on the screen, halting the conversation indefinitely.
"What's that?" asked Spike, looking directly at the camera. Andrew sprung from his seat immediately, the calm gone. It was instead replaced by the uncertainty that usually hung around the young man.
"Nothing, there must be something wrong with the camera. It'll be fine."
"Was that on the entire time?" Questioned an ever increasingly brassed off vampire.
"No," Andrew answered, and those were the last words spoken, as he pressed a button that turned of the camera for real.
In her living room, Buffy was left staring at a blank t.v. The screen matched her inner thoughts exactly. Blank. Dark and cloudy as she tried to process all of that information she had received all at once.
Coming back to life suddenly, her mind started reeling. One thought was ever present though, in the face of all the others; 'I never knew Spike cared so deeply'. She had known - or rather accepted - for a while now that Spike did care for her, more than she'd ever know, but to know that that caring went as far as to reach her friends, it was overwhelming.
And it only proved to push her own feelings out from the ground of which she had buried them under. The feelings she had taken so long to realise, and then went to great lengths to hide.
As much as she tried to deny it, she was in love with Spike. If it did nothing else, viewing that tape had helped her to finally realise the true depth of her emotions.
And now that she had her own feelings sorted out, Buffy felt it was time to let Spike now. And what better time to do it but now.
Glancing quickly at her watch Buffy realised it was now past midnight. Spike would be back from patrol by now. He must have crept in hours ago.
Living in this house with dozens of teenagers meant that Spike had to get used to a human lifestyle of going to bed at night and waking up in the morning. But Buffy knew by instinct that the bleached blonde was not yet asleep, and would not mind her company at such an hour.
Before she forgot, Buffy hit the rewind button on the switch and turned the television of completely, owing at least that much to Andrew for bringing her this revelation of footage.
Buffy made sure before she moved that all tearstains were removed from her face. That was just one thing she didn't feel like explaining just then.
The brilliant glow of the moon lit Buffy's path to the basement door, where she stood for a moment or two contemplating whether or not to knock or just barge in. She opted for the latter. Some old habits just wouldn't die, but who said they had too? She didn't kick the door open, however, figuring some things should just be left alone. The memories of her doing that to his crypt door every time was still fresh in her mind, digging up with it all the other little things they did in that place, some of which didn't deserve to be remembered.
Steeling herself before she lost her nerve, Buffy descended the staircase, the old floorboards creaking and groaning under her weight.
The basement was covered in darkness, and Buffy reached blindly out to flick the switch, allowing the artificial light to bath the room in a eerie glow.
A groan was heard even before Buffy even saw the figure.
"Buffy, now that's just rude," she heard Spike say, and as she made it down the stairs slowly, she saw him sitting up to rub his eyes, slight annoyance marring his features. But behind all that she saw the genuine surprise and awe that she was here, at such a late hour, visiting him in the cold, dank of the basement.
She didn't bother to ask how he had known it was her, already knowing he probably knew her scent of by heart. That was one thing she'd probably never get sued to, the smelling. Instead, she went down what she considered to be a much safer road, free of potholes.
"Not happy to see me?" Buffy mock pouted, coming to stop just at the bottom of the staircase. She knew all too well that he was more than happy to see her. It gave her an air of confidence that she decided she very much approved of.
However, she made no move to come closer, and he made no move to stand up. The slayer noticed that the sheets didn't cover the fact that he was naked from the waist up, and that she approved of the taut muscles that she could see from her vantage point.
"I'm always happy to see you luv," he responded, and she could tell without a doubt that he was deadly serious, though his tone held a joking air to it that she realised was just a defence mechanism in case she didn't like what he was saying. She understood that if she didn't like what he had to say, he could immediately chalk it up to the fact that he was kidding. That's what she had reduced him to, making excuses so he wouldn't hurt her, and in the end getting hurt himself, all just to save her.
It was all she could do not to throw herself at him right then and there. She restrained herself though, but just barely. There were things that needed to be said first.
"I suppose you're wondering why I'm down here, right?" She asked.
"The words; 'what are you doing here?' do come to mind, yeah," he agreed, a hint of a smirk on his lips. She barely saw him smirk any more, and just then realised that she missed it. Oh, how she wished for the cockiness to return to his voice, for the swagger to return to his step. Those were things she had unknowingly taken away from him. Things that she was hoping she could give back, preferably tonight.
"I know it's," she paused, shrugging. "Well, odd. But there's a reason. The gang and I were watching the footage Andrew had taken with his little camera."
"Ah, I knew there was a logical reason why I offered to patrol tonight," Spike smiled, and Buffy did too, sensing his relief. It was short lived, however, when he noticed her seriousness creep back in to her tone and face.
"What is it pet?" He asked, giving her an opening. She hadn't known where to start, really, but his words told her she just had to go and say it.
"He taped you talking to him, down here," she gestured around the basement, taking in the wooden chairs off to the side where the interview had taken place. Spike, for his part, looked horrified at what she was telling him.
"To be fair luv, I was drunk at the time," he told her quickly, but she knew it was just a cover up. She was familiar with cover ups, having used so many in her time.
"No you weren't," she stated, and he sighed.
"No, I wasn't," he agreed, another sigh escaping him as he waited, eyes closed, for his fate to be dealt to him.
The last thing he expected was her lips on his in a passionate kiss that left them both breathless even though he had no need to be.
Spike opened his eyes to see a grinning slayer staring back at him, panting slightly from her lack of breath.
"I don't know what's going to happen, with this fight. We may live, and we may not," she admitted, moving to sit down on the rough cot Spike had labelled 'bed' for the last few weeks. She motioned for him to follow, and he complied, too stunned at that moment to do much else.
"But the one thing I do know, is how I feel for you Spike, and I realise that I can't fight it any longer, and I can't keep it to myself."
"Buffy, what are you saying..." he was cut off by her lips on his once again.
"I love you Spike. I'm in total and complete mind numbing love with you, and I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be tonight, than here in your arms," she paused quickly, reconsidering some of her words.
"Okay, so I'd much rather be upstairs in my room, but I guess this'll..." It was her turn to be cut off by the 'lips of Spike' that just three years ago she had vowed silently she would never touch ever again.
'Well, I guess that promise failed,' she thought to herself with a laugh.
"I love you too Buffy," Spike purred against her mouth, before capturing her lips in another mind blowing kiss.
Reaching blindly, Buffy managed to grab hold on Spike's right palm, breaking off the kiss to examine the car she had recently found out was self-inflicted. She traced the white mark; instantly feeling the pain he must have felt when he made it.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, gesturing to the scar.
"Does it matter?" Spike answered quietly, his eyes questioning.
"No, I guess not," Buffy replied, before her lips found his once again.
They both lay down on the makeshift bed, Spike's arms encircling Buffy's small waist as they both silently agreed that holding one another would be plenty for them at that moment. Spike kissed the top of his slayer's head, sighing in content as he felt her relax against him, something he'd never thought he'd live to see ever again.
And as she drifted of to sleep, Spike leaned down to whisper softly in her ear.
"I will always protect you Buffy. Always."
And Buffy fell asleep, reassured by his soft words, and feeling more safe in his arms that she had felt in a long time.
________________________________________________________________
A/N: Okay then, I hope ya'll enjoyed that. Just a bit of season 7 fluff from me to you. And remember, that review button can do wonders for a person self esteem. Go ahead, use it, I dare ya! LOL.
Peace to you all
Ciao for now Em
This takes place at the end of "Storyteller" (a great ep). Spoilers up until that episode.
Disclaimer: It's not mine, never was, never will be. Gawsh, now I'm kinda sad.
Distribution: It ya want it, take it, just ask me first, and tell me where it's going.
That all said, read and enjoy! ______________________________________________________________________
Why Didn't You Tell Me?
"Remind me again. Why are we watching this?"
Andrew rolled his eyes in a 'duh' motion at what he considered Buffy's, in his mind, stupid question.
"Because, I spent the whole day making this fine piece of film making genius and I'm not gonna let some party poop like you spoil it for me."
Buffy raised her eyes to the man in mock shock, slight annoyance grazing her features, as it always did when the blonde pest that was Andrew was mentioned.
"You want me to tie you up again?" She was serious, he knew it, and he hated it.
Andrew immediately lost some of the colour in his face.
"No, ma'am," he replied shortly, instead putting the tape in and sitting on the floor, all of the actual seats having been taken already by the other occupants of the room.
As well as Buffy and Andrew; Xander, Willow, Anya, Kennedy and Dawn were gathered around the t.v, most of the occupants had bored expressions. Cross that, all of them had bored expressions, all except Andrew.
But none except Buffy were complaining, it seemed. No one had any real objection to watching the film, for a couple it was just another way to escape from their apocalyptic reality.
"Come on Buff, how many times are we gonna get time enough to sit down and enjoy ourselves for a couple of hours?" Xander stated his case, earning a general mumble of agreement from the rest of the occupants of the room. Andrew grinned at the back up.
"That's just the thing, maybe we don't have time to do something like this. The end is coming, as much as we don't want it to. Giles is away gathering more potentials, so it's left to us to hold down the fort," Buffy responded, looking flustered.
"Look, the girls are upstairs asleep, and nothing is gonna happen right now. A little relaxation time might be good for us right now," Willow said, backing up both Xander and Andrew.
"I should be out patrolling then. Spike may need some help..."
"Dead Boy Jr has it covered Buff, it's alright, just relax for once."
Buffy finally relented, seeing as she wasn't going to win, and Andrew pressed play on the remote with an almost giddy look in his eye.
The tape started with an introduction from the very last of the nerd trio, spouting off about Buffy and heroism, and telling random stories that he had heard floating about, and using his own creative imagination to change them slightly. Buffy started to rethink her idea of relenting so easily.
It seemed hours of footage was being played, and comments were being shared at the various scenes being shown. Buffy and Xander exchanged a worried glance when Andrew talked about the carpenters work on the curtains in the living room. Willow and Kennedy were making out just out of the shot, and any sane - or straight - male would be filming that instead. It was just another tick in the 'Andrew is gay' column.
As the hours went by, various people excused themselves to go to bed. Dawn was first, followed closely by Willow and Kennedy. About half an hour later Anya left also, complaining of the lack of sex, and on the pretence of being bored out of her mind.
Buffy, Xander and Andrew were now the only ones left. Buffy had to admit she thought it was amusing how Andrew would turn everything around, even though she wouldn't say that out loud. Of course, it had been incredibly annoying when he was filming everything.
The footage at the seal in the High School came up and Andrew made a quick escape, saying he was too tired to watch any more, and to rewind everything when they were done. It was clear though that that particular memory was still too fresh and raw, and he just hadn't wanted to deal with it yet.
It just left Buffy and Xander then, as they watched in silence. The screen went blank after a while, and Xander made his exit, saying they should do it again sometime. Buffy smiled and gave him a half nod in response.
She was about to press rewind on the tape when it suddenly sprang to life once again, and new footage was displayed in front of the slayer.
It was of Spike.
He was in the basement, looking at the floor, and then suddenly he looked up, an angry expression of his features.
"I told you to piss of with that bloody camera, yet here you are again with that thing in my face." He flicked his cigarette butt in the direction of the camera.
"Would you sod of, before I rip your throat out and eat..." A cough interrupted the vampire's rant, and he immediately stopped, his face becoming less intimidating.
"Uh, Spike, the light was sort of behind you." Andrew's off screen voice told the bleach blonde.
Buffy had to stifle a laugh as Spike's mouth formed a perfect 'o' and he moved back so the 'light' would be in front of him. His Big Bad image was totally ruined in those couple of seconds, but then Spike put the tough guy guise back on, and resumed his position.
"Oh, is this better then? Right." Spike clenched his jaw to get back into character.
"I told you to piss of with that bloody camera, yet here you are again with that thing in my face. Would you sod of?" With a pointed finger, his finished his monologue, and Buffy had to hold a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.
"Okay, thank you Spike, that'll be all for now."
Andrew's soft voice came over the camera, and Buffy watched as the blonde boy lowered the camera onto a table that had a perfect view of two chairs, one of which Spike had plonked himself down just before. Blocking the vampire's sight, Andrew looked as though he was fiddling with the buttons of the camera, pretending to turn it off.
He did no such thing however.
"Okay, it's off," Andrew stated, and Spike nodded in vague understanding. He had lit another cigarette, and was currently blowing smoke through his pursed lips. His expression clearly told Buffy that he was annoyed Andrew was still there.
"What's the red button flashing mean then?" The vampire questioned, eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
"The battery is recharging itself," Andrew answered quickly. Spike had not much knowledge of things such as a video camera, so Andrew's excuse seemed to fit nicely, and he gave it no more thought.
The younger blonde had made himself comfortable in the other wooden chair that occupied the downstairs basement.
"Yes?" Spike asked the boy with disinterest, his body clearly stating he wanted to be alone at that particular moment. But Andrew just regarded him curiously for the moment, not answering Spike's short question.
"What do you want, monkey boy?" The vampire elaborated, and Andrew sighed wistfully, obviously not paying real attention to Spike's words.
"Why do you stay here?" The boy asked, surprisingly the vamp with the unexpected question.
"What, the basement?" He questioned, not giving Andrew time to answer.
"I figured it's better than shacking up with the girls up there. Plus I don't fully trust myself with them yet, with the trigger and all. And I think it's fair to say my crypt's been taken over by now. The basement seemed like a good option," Spike took a lazy drag on his cigarette as he unknowingly answered the wrong question.
"No, no that Spike. Why do you stay in Sunnydale? This town has a bad reputation, and with your history with it..." Andrew trailed off, not wanting to anger the very lethal predator in front of him. As if it was Spike growled at being reminded of his past. He flicked the remains of his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it with the heel of his boot, anger piercing through his azure eyes.
But just as quickly as it came, the angered looked was gone from his features, to be replaced by a softer emotion. Buffy could tell even from watching the screen his eyes were twinkling with some unknown emotion.
"I think it's pretty obvious why," Spike half evaded, realising who he was talking to. Andrew didn't seem to mind the side-stepping.
The younger of the men raised his thumb and forefinger to his face, stroking his chin as if in deep thought.
"Hmm, yes. Would you mind clarifying it for me though, Spike?" He had an air of mischief in his voice, covered cleverly by innocence.
"Her," he whispered, powerful emotions dripping from that one tiny word.
"The slayer," he elaborated, just in case the boy in front of him was a little slow on the uptake.
Buffy sat gripping the armchair tightly as she waited, as Andrew did, for Spike to say more. Even though she was watching a screen and she knew it, Buffy couldn't help but feel as if she were right there, in the middle of the conversation, feeling like it was her talking to Spike instead of Andrew.
"I stayed for her, I'll do anything for her," Spike dropped his head a little, as if he felt ashamed he was admitting this to someone as foreign and strange as the boy sitting across from him.
"And the truth is everyone knows it. I'd go to hell and back for her. I'd die for her, or, at least, be dusted for her. You know; I once told her I was drowning in her. Nothing could be more true. Every day I'm with her, I just sink deeper and deeper, until I think I can't possibly feel any more for her. But then she'll look at me, or smile at me, or say something to me, something so small and mediocre you really wouldn't think much of it in normal circumstances. And she'll do that, and I just sink deeper. There's no place I would rather be than here with her."
Buffy had tears in her eyes by that statement he just made, but Andrew wasn't finished with the questions.
With obvious tears running down his pale face, the small boy asked a question even Buffy had been doubting the answer to as of late.
"So do you still love her then?"
The words Spike had just uttered should have been more than enough to ensure in Buffy's mind what his answer would be, but still the slayer found herself leaning forward unconsciously, biting her nails in painful waiting.
"Do I still love her?" Spike echoed, and he laughed, making Buffy unsure of what he meant by it.
Buffy drew in a breath as she waited impatiently for him to answer the question, but he didn't give her that privilege, and even Andrew seemed pained.
"You know, I really didn't think having a soul would change my feelings for the slayer. But it did. I just figured it would make it more real in her eyes. But that wasn't all that happened. My feelings for Buffy changed so much that I was starting to wonder if I really did love her at all before." Spike paused quickly, and Buffy felt her heart constrict and her breathing quicken as she waited for him to continue, although right now she wasn't sure she even really wanted him to.
"Because whatever I was feeling before the soul, was built up ten-fold. If I really did love her before, then right now my feelings go beyond love. Beyond life even. I've stopped trying to describe my feelings for her. No words in the human language could ever do justice to how I feel."
Both Buffy and Andrew were crying openly now, tears streaming down both their cheeks. But while Buffy had the common sense to keep it quiet so she wouldn't wake anybody, Andrew, on the screen, bawled loudly, not knowing that sense of curtesy.
Buffy was busy thinking about how amazingly beautiful and astoundingly poetic Spike's words were, and how no one had ever said anything like that to her - or about her for that matter - before in her life.
Meanwhile, Spike on the screen looked up angrily at Andrew, almost as if he was noticing for the first time that he was actually talking to someone instead of just rambling to himself like he was so accustomed to these days that it became almost normal.
"Will you stop your blubbering? Someone might hear," he hissed, forcing a quiet calm to fall over the cold basement.
The only sound for a long time was that of the washing machine whirring as it cleaned the clothes of the ever growing population of potential slayers that set up home at Revello Drive.
"She makes you a better person," Andrew stated once he regained his composure. Those words were spoken with such certainty that his words almost dared Spike to deny them. He took the bait.
"'m not a person," the bleached blonde responded, his own certainty over this fact outweighing Andrew's previous words.
"She makes you a better demon," the boy amended, while still sticking to his earlier statement.
By this time Buffy was transfixed, not able to look away or press stop even if she wanted to.
"Yes," the self confessed 'demon' answered quietly, his head hanging low like he was ashamed of the fact, when really he shouldn't have been.
"She makes you want to be better, for her," Andrew moved the words around to make a new sentence, and Spike nodded.
"Yes," he confirmed once again.
The room had become so serious, Buffy could hardly believe 'Andrew' of all people was leading this interview, of sorts.
And what's more, Spike was actually opening up to him, something Buffy couldn't have gotten him to do if she tried.
And just when Buffy thought this conversation couldn't get any more serious, and gloomy, Andrew asked a question that surprised both herself and Spike as well.
"You don't think you're going to make it, do you?"
Spike's shock on the screen came out to meet the slayer's own confused and shocked self. She couldn't believe the meek little boy had asked something so powerful as this, but at the same time she felt an eagerness to understand just how Spike felt about this looming fight.
"I think this will be my last fight, yeah," Spike admitted, shocking Buffy and himself at the revelation.
Andrew's face held an unexpected calm Buffy didn't know he could possess as he regarded his unlikely companion silently.
"You think it's a possibility you may have to die to save her life," the younger of the two observed quietly, his gaze never wavering from the vampire in front of him. For a nerd and a wimp, he was surprisingly observant.
Spike nodded slightly, looking shocked at the boy.
"The thought crossed my mind, yeah," he answered, his voice not betraying any of the emotion he was bound to be feeling at that particular moment.
"Does she know?"
"What? Of my willingness to die for her? No, I don't think so anyway."
Andrew nodded slightly, before his gaze settled on Spike's right palm.
"And does she know about your scar, and your promise?" At those words, Spike let his demon visage appear, but only for a second, before he forced it back down inside. For a while he regarded the boy carefully, and - Buffy was sure her eyes were deceiving her - cautiously.
"How did you know about that?" Spike replied, a little too snappy. Buffy sat entranced, wondering what the hell Andrew was talking about.
"I saw you do it," Andrew responded, his voice way too calm. If he weren't sitting in a chair, and hadn't touched the camera before, Buffy would have assumed it was the First. He was so, well, not Andrew.
"Oh," was all Spike could manage. He didn't seem like he would say any more on that subject.
Buffy wondered then if she would ever find out just what exactly he promised, or why he had a scar on his palm. She had noticed it, a neat slice along the top of Spike's hand. She hadn't bothered asking him about it, figuring he had just gotten it while off fighting some nasty beast or what not. But now she knew there was more to it, and she desperately wanted to know exactly what it was.
Thankfully, Andrew helped her.
"Why did you do it Spike?"
"You know why! When it comes to protecting Buffy and her kin, I've slipped up more times than I can count. And each time, I knew I could have done something more to help them, but I didn't. Something held me back." Spike paused, taking in a shuddering breath, even though it was hardly necessary.
"I made the cut so every time I helped out the slayer and her gang, I could be reminded that I can't hold back. With this fight coming up, that's important, now more than ever. I made the promise so I wouldn't slip up. So that when the time came, I would do everything I could to protect them all, and to not hold back. Because dammit, it's better me than them."
Just when Buffy thought he was about to say more, an annoyingly loud beeping cut off his words. The camera was making weird noises on the screen, halting the conversation indefinitely.
"What's that?" asked Spike, looking directly at the camera. Andrew sprung from his seat immediately, the calm gone. It was instead replaced by the uncertainty that usually hung around the young man.
"Nothing, there must be something wrong with the camera. It'll be fine."
"Was that on the entire time?" Questioned an ever increasingly brassed off vampire.
"No," Andrew answered, and those were the last words spoken, as he pressed a button that turned of the camera for real.
In her living room, Buffy was left staring at a blank t.v. The screen matched her inner thoughts exactly. Blank. Dark and cloudy as she tried to process all of that information she had received all at once.
Coming back to life suddenly, her mind started reeling. One thought was ever present though, in the face of all the others; 'I never knew Spike cared so deeply'. She had known - or rather accepted - for a while now that Spike did care for her, more than she'd ever know, but to know that that caring went as far as to reach her friends, it was overwhelming.
And it only proved to push her own feelings out from the ground of which she had buried them under. The feelings she had taken so long to realise, and then went to great lengths to hide.
As much as she tried to deny it, she was in love with Spike. If it did nothing else, viewing that tape had helped her to finally realise the true depth of her emotions.
And now that she had her own feelings sorted out, Buffy felt it was time to let Spike now. And what better time to do it but now.
Glancing quickly at her watch Buffy realised it was now past midnight. Spike would be back from patrol by now. He must have crept in hours ago.
Living in this house with dozens of teenagers meant that Spike had to get used to a human lifestyle of going to bed at night and waking up in the morning. But Buffy knew by instinct that the bleached blonde was not yet asleep, and would not mind her company at such an hour.
Before she forgot, Buffy hit the rewind button on the switch and turned the television of completely, owing at least that much to Andrew for bringing her this revelation of footage.
Buffy made sure before she moved that all tearstains were removed from her face. That was just one thing she didn't feel like explaining just then.
The brilliant glow of the moon lit Buffy's path to the basement door, where she stood for a moment or two contemplating whether or not to knock or just barge in. She opted for the latter. Some old habits just wouldn't die, but who said they had too? She didn't kick the door open, however, figuring some things should just be left alone. The memories of her doing that to his crypt door every time was still fresh in her mind, digging up with it all the other little things they did in that place, some of which didn't deserve to be remembered.
Steeling herself before she lost her nerve, Buffy descended the staircase, the old floorboards creaking and groaning under her weight.
The basement was covered in darkness, and Buffy reached blindly out to flick the switch, allowing the artificial light to bath the room in a eerie glow.
A groan was heard even before Buffy even saw the figure.
"Buffy, now that's just rude," she heard Spike say, and as she made it down the stairs slowly, she saw him sitting up to rub his eyes, slight annoyance marring his features. But behind all that she saw the genuine surprise and awe that she was here, at such a late hour, visiting him in the cold, dank of the basement.
She didn't bother to ask how he had known it was her, already knowing he probably knew her scent of by heart. That was one thing she'd probably never get sued to, the smelling. Instead, she went down what she considered to be a much safer road, free of potholes.
"Not happy to see me?" Buffy mock pouted, coming to stop just at the bottom of the staircase. She knew all too well that he was more than happy to see her. It gave her an air of confidence that she decided she very much approved of.
However, she made no move to come closer, and he made no move to stand up. The slayer noticed that the sheets didn't cover the fact that he was naked from the waist up, and that she approved of the taut muscles that she could see from her vantage point.
"I'm always happy to see you luv," he responded, and she could tell without a doubt that he was deadly serious, though his tone held a joking air to it that she realised was just a defence mechanism in case she didn't like what he was saying. She understood that if she didn't like what he had to say, he could immediately chalk it up to the fact that he was kidding. That's what she had reduced him to, making excuses so he wouldn't hurt her, and in the end getting hurt himself, all just to save her.
It was all she could do not to throw herself at him right then and there. She restrained herself though, but just barely. There were things that needed to be said first.
"I suppose you're wondering why I'm down here, right?" She asked.
"The words; 'what are you doing here?' do come to mind, yeah," he agreed, a hint of a smirk on his lips. She barely saw him smirk any more, and just then realised that she missed it. Oh, how she wished for the cockiness to return to his voice, for the swagger to return to his step. Those were things she had unknowingly taken away from him. Things that she was hoping she could give back, preferably tonight.
"I know it's," she paused, shrugging. "Well, odd. But there's a reason. The gang and I were watching the footage Andrew had taken with his little camera."
"Ah, I knew there was a logical reason why I offered to patrol tonight," Spike smiled, and Buffy did too, sensing his relief. It was short lived, however, when he noticed her seriousness creep back in to her tone and face.
"What is it pet?" He asked, giving her an opening. She hadn't known where to start, really, but his words told her she just had to go and say it.
"He taped you talking to him, down here," she gestured around the basement, taking in the wooden chairs off to the side where the interview had taken place. Spike, for his part, looked horrified at what she was telling him.
"To be fair luv, I was drunk at the time," he told her quickly, but she knew it was just a cover up. She was familiar with cover ups, having used so many in her time.
"No you weren't," she stated, and he sighed.
"No, I wasn't," he agreed, another sigh escaping him as he waited, eyes closed, for his fate to be dealt to him.
The last thing he expected was her lips on his in a passionate kiss that left them both breathless even though he had no need to be.
Spike opened his eyes to see a grinning slayer staring back at him, panting slightly from her lack of breath.
"I don't know what's going to happen, with this fight. We may live, and we may not," she admitted, moving to sit down on the rough cot Spike had labelled 'bed' for the last few weeks. She motioned for him to follow, and he complied, too stunned at that moment to do much else.
"But the one thing I do know, is how I feel for you Spike, and I realise that I can't fight it any longer, and I can't keep it to myself."
"Buffy, what are you saying..." he was cut off by her lips on his once again.
"I love you Spike. I'm in total and complete mind numbing love with you, and I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be tonight, than here in your arms," she paused quickly, reconsidering some of her words.
"Okay, so I'd much rather be upstairs in my room, but I guess this'll..." It was her turn to be cut off by the 'lips of Spike' that just three years ago she had vowed silently she would never touch ever again.
'Well, I guess that promise failed,' she thought to herself with a laugh.
"I love you too Buffy," Spike purred against her mouth, before capturing her lips in another mind blowing kiss.
Reaching blindly, Buffy managed to grab hold on Spike's right palm, breaking off the kiss to examine the car she had recently found out was self-inflicted. She traced the white mark; instantly feeling the pain he must have felt when he made it.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, gesturing to the scar.
"Does it matter?" Spike answered quietly, his eyes questioning.
"No, I guess not," Buffy replied, before her lips found his once again.
They both lay down on the makeshift bed, Spike's arms encircling Buffy's small waist as they both silently agreed that holding one another would be plenty for them at that moment. Spike kissed the top of his slayer's head, sighing in content as he felt her relax against him, something he'd never thought he'd live to see ever again.
And as she drifted of to sleep, Spike leaned down to whisper softly in her ear.
"I will always protect you Buffy. Always."
And Buffy fell asleep, reassured by his soft words, and feeling more safe in his arms that she had felt in a long time.
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A/N: Okay then, I hope ya'll enjoyed that. Just a bit of season 7 fluff from me to you. And remember, that review button can do wonders for a person self esteem. Go ahead, use it, I dare ya! LOL.
Peace to you all
Ciao for now Em