And the water is deep.
Annie was born in summer. When the sun is up and District 4 becomes so hot you have to get in the water. It's late afternoon and the wind is blowing, and while looking at her, Lily Cresta knows her daughter will be a great woman.
It couldn't have been any other way.
. . .
She's seven when she learns how to swim. There's something very easy about it. She feels free, away from the Capitol and the stupid games that kill 23 innocent children every year. She's in her own Panem, a country where murder would not be for fun.
But then it gets cold, her mother calls her and she has to go back. She's Annie Cresta, from District 4, weaponless against the Hunger Games, all over again. And she's so young and so naïve and she shouldn't be thinking about this.
The problem is she does, every day.
. . .
Finnick Odair was just another name. Until it wasn't. Because she couldn't ignore his yellow hair (like the sun, in more than one way) and the blue eyes that followed her while she swam. It started one ordinary night. But it went on and on and on and Annie couldn't stand it. She became angry.
So when she went to ask for an explanation, the boy that had been watching her only smiled. Her knees felt like jelly. And he goes, singing something about the fish and the water that Annie doesn't quite understand.
She was too busy trying to not fall in love with the boy.
. . .
At 13, she feels her life falling apart. Because Finnick was reaped and oh my god, Finnick is going to die. But he can't, he can't. He has to come back.
And there's just an hour in the Justice Building and it's not enough. And she listens to herself saying something (is it her? What is she saying?) but the words come out like a long line because, Finnick was reaped.
She holds his hand and kisses him. He tastes like salt. They kiss one, two, three, four times, between tears and promises under their breath. The world doesn't make any sense when she stares into his blue eyes for the last time.
. . .
The games are on. And suddenly everyone is watching them and they look at her with pity in their eyes. Poor thing. Her best friend got reaped. But she laughs and tries to go out and have a good time and laugh a little more. Maybe someone will believe her.
She has to be strong for the both of them.
Annie Cresta is a good liar. She smiles to herself when it's late at night and her parents are sleeping and she cries while thinking about blue eyes and hair made of gold. Comebackcomebackcomeback.
. . .
He comes back. He wins. Her mind disconnects and her legs run as fast as they can. But he's not her Finnick. He's just another victor, with another pretty house at the Victor's Village. Annie knows that as she watches him smile.
That's not the smile she fell for.
. . .
Suddenly the years pass. She's not sure how. It's all a mess of tears and faked smiles but she's used to it because people always let her down. Because her first love broke her heart in the worst way possible. And she can't get over it. Weak weak weak weak, YOU'RE WEAK.
She's reaped. She's terrified. She can't hide it.
Finnick Odair buries his head on his hands.
. . .
They don't talk. The other tribute, Nick, is an eighteen-year-old boy. He's sweet. She knows he's not going to hurt her. And she definitely doesn't want to hurt him. Finnick must know that too, because he looks at Nick differently.
Annie finds Nick in front of the TV one night, his eyes searching for a place that's not the Capitol, maybe not even Panem.
- You're in love with Odair, aren't you?
Sigh.
- Yes. Yes, I am.
- Don't worry; he's not going to let you die.
She doesn't know what hurts.
. . .
The sound of their laugh fills her ears. They're laughing. Was that even possible at the bloodbath that was the Hunger Games? But she's actually having a great time and she's glad Nick stayed with her.
Oh, silly girl.
The laughing stops and Nick's head is no longer connected to his body and she's going to throw up. Even after all this years, Annie doesn't know how she killed that girl. All she knew is that there was blood on her hands.
And it wasn't hers.
So she started laughing again, while she felt the tears streaming down her face. Wasn't it funny how everything was so fucked up?
. . .
Hiding is good. Hiding is for the weak, too, but whatever. Her hands still feel dirty with blood (that is not her own. It's not.) and she doesn't know how to clean them.
And maybe someone up there hears her; because water starts rising and she can swim and forget where she is. Water is good. Water is not for the weak. She lets herself go and remembers when she was seven.
Annie is still laughing when the hovercraft picks her up.
. . .
Finnick comes in and the desperation is on his eyes and he holds her hand. He's crying, and talking about something, but still, she doesn't understand. She can hear some words, like "sorry", or "past", or "love", but it doesn't make sense.
Who's Finnick?
. . .
Annie is swimming. There's a lot of blue and green and light and sunlight. Because she was born in summer. It feels good. It feels right. It feels like home.
But as soon as she thinks that, the blue and green and even the sunlight disappear and there's red all over and she doesn't like red. Red means bad. Red means blood. There are a lot of bodies and heads that don't even belong and she starts screaming. She wakes up screaming, too.
Recovery is hard.
But Finnick still holds her hand, and it feels right, too.
. . .
When she's reaped for the second time, she thinks about Finnick. It even surprises her, how she's not thinking about death or Nick (she doesn't like to say his name, it feels weird in her mouth) but Finnick. And it hurts. And she cries.
But then Mags volunteers and the tears stop. She says 'thank you' under her breath.
Then other name is screamed and is it ever going to end?
No. Of course not.
. . .
The Hunger Games are quick and strange. And the Capitol is on fire because of that girl, Katniss, and her own games. Annie likes her.
The same Capitol she was just thinking about knock on her door and takes her away and tries to torture her. She starts laughing again. She covers her ears and thinks FinnickFinnickFinnickFinnick. And apparently it works, because they leave her alone.
Peeta and Johanna don't have the same luck.
. . .
She doesn't remember when they took her out of there. It just… happened. Annie smiles and tries to talk in full sentences and people still look at her like she's some kind of freak and maybe she is. Maybe they were all freaks. The Games do that to you.
Finnick comes in and everything is blue because blue means good. And it feels so good to hug him and kiss him and she's sure his the love of her life because his eyes are blue, just like the water she loves so much.
. . .
They get married. Annie Cresta, the mad girl, and Finnick Odair, the most desirable victor, get married. Her heart is about to explode and he looks at her with such love on his eyes she has to held back the tears.
Maybe they do deserve a happy ending. Maybe the pain stops at some point, and maybe this is the point. And it's perfect. And it's with him.
Iloveyou.
. . .
- I have to go.
No, he doesn't. But it's the right thing to do. Annie isn't sure. Why does he want to be a hero now that they finally get their happy ending? It's not fair. It never is.
She doesn't say anything. Her lips meet his and they are consumed by the fire. And she looks into his eyes while he's moving on top of her and this is the place where she wants to be, forever.
So she tells him and Finnick smiles and kisses her lips gently.
. . .
He's not coming back. Everevereverever. And it hurts more than everything. She screams and cries and nobody comes and she's glad. She wants to be alone. Annie thinks she is going to die. Maybe she is. She wishes.
Finnick, where are you?
. . .
District 4 is not what it was before. Everything she loves disappeared. Her parents did. Mags did. Finnick did. It still hurts. It's never going to stop.
She's supposed to 'start over'. But how do you do that, when you don't want to? When all you want is your past. She's drowning.
Her new house has a blue door.
. . .
Finnick Nicholas Odair-Cresta was born in winter. When the sun is down and the water is not safe. It's morning and it's cold, and while looking at him, Annie Cresta knows her son will be a great man.
It couldn't have been any other way.
Okay, I didn't expect that to be so long, but it just sort of happened. Rain Of Stars will be about all the characters of the saga (yes, all of them, I love all of them). I hope you like this, even though I'm not sure I like it. That's all for now, bye bye ~