The Ramblings of a Slightly Mad Lily Evans
Chapter 1
Horse and Walrus Babies
July 21st
My Bedroom
Around Lunch
GUESS WHAT!? I GOT HEAD GIRL!! I'M SO HAPPY! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I must tell Emma and Gwen! Parchment...where did my parchment go?! I just had it on my desk! WHERE DID IT GO?! Bugger. I need to go get more quills now that I think about it.
"Lily? Dear, what are you doing? Are you okay?"
Um, no. But do I say that to my mother? Um, no.
"Yes perfectly fine, why do you ask?"
"Maybe because your room is a mess and your scream could be heard downstairs…even over Tuney's music."
My room is a mess? Nah. I just cleaned it this morning and…OH MY GOD! I did mess it up. Ah well. Nothing too bad. I realized my mother was waiting for an answer.
"Oh…sorry about that Mum. You see, I've just been made Head Girl and I was going to write Emma and Gwen but I lost my parchment…so I can't really."
My mum had gone white. "You're Head Girl? My darling Lily? Head Girl?"
Oh well gee thanks mum, glad to know you had faith in me. Sheesh. I don't think that's how you're supposed to treat your daughter. Yeah I suppose I shouldn't have told her what Head Girl was…Oh…I suppose my mum is waiting for an answer,
"Yes, Mum. I got Head Girl. Oh and I need to go to Diagon Alley soon. Have you seen Adrastos? I let him out to hunt and I'm pretty sure he came back in."
Adrastos is my owl. His name means not inclined to run away and well that's exactly him. He's a very proud owl. Very stubborn. Probably hiding under that blanket in his cage. Oh yup. It's moving. Well nice to know he came back so quickly.
"Alright dear. I don't have time to take you to Diagon Alley so why don't you see if you can go with Emmeline or Gwenog?" she answered, turning to walk out the door, still pale, "Oh and dear, your parchment is on your bed."
Ah what an observant mother. You see, that's why I keep her around. Well I suppose I could go with Gwen or Emma. Hmm…..I'll ask Emma and see if we can meet Gwen there. Yeah…Gwen has lots of people in her family. No need to add to that! Now, to write;
Em,
How's your summer been so far? I've missed you so much and haven't had much fun here. Petunia still thinks I'm a freak but now she has fat-man Vernon. He's like a walrus. I personally don't think a walrus and a horse make a good pair but I wonder what their children will look like. Maybe half-horse, half-walrus. Haha, can't wait to see that!
Anyway you'll never guess what I got in my Hogwarts letter! I GOT HEAD GIRL! I'm so excited! I can't wait for school to start now!
Actually I also have something to ask you. Do you think I could go to Diagon Alley with you? My mum is too caught up with Horse and Walrus to do anything with me. Can you say unfair? Anyway maybe Gwen could meet us there. Hope you had a good summer!
Loves,
Lily
Gwennie,
How's your summer been so far? I've missed you so much and haven't had much fun here. Petunia still thinks I'm a freak but now she has fat-man Vernon. He's like a walrus. I personally don't think a walrus and a horse make a good pair but I wonder what their children will look like. Maybe half-horse, half-walrus. Haha, can't wait to see that!
Anyway you'll never guess what I got in my Hogwarts letter! I GOT HEAD GIRL! I'm so excited! I can't wait for school to start now!
So who's been your summer hook-up this year Gwen? Don't tell me it's someone that's three years older than you again. That was horrible and you know it.
Petunia and Walrus are getting engaged. My mum is too caught up in the animal wedding to have anything to do with me. I need to get out of this hellhole. I'm serious. You know what I mean Gwen. Maybe Emma will invite us over. Operation G.E.T.I.U.O is in action
Loves,
Lily
Now; we wait. No Adrastos. NO! OW! OUCH! ADASTROS! THAT HURT! Bloody bird. Told you he was too stubborn for his own good. Didn't want to deliver the letters. But I shoved him out the window. Yeah that probably wasn't the smartest thing for me to do but he doesn't have far to go. I'm going to take a nap…Mum made me get up at 5:00 this morning! And for what you ask. Because Horse-face needed help doing something. I threw my alarm clock at her. I think I have some skills. She has a big bruise right on her forehead. Lily 1 Horsy 0. I am so good. Well….night time for Lily…
Later
Still my room
Tired
"Freak! Get your bum out of bed and clean your room! Vernon is coming over!" Why does my room, which is, by the way, upstairs and towards the back, need to be cleaned for walrus-man? He's not coming in my room. I'm not cleaning my room. Oh burn Petunia. Burn. Lily: 2 Petunia: 0
"Lily. Now."
Bugger. Make that Lily: 1 Petty: 1 Not fair! I was so winning then my own mother had to go and betray me!
"Mother! I am shocked! I thought I was your favorite daughter! You betrayed my trust! I am ashamed. I believed in you!" Oh yes. I did just say that. Yeah I did. Ooh haha. Lily: 2 Mum/Petty: 1 Take that you…umm…you pineapples!
"Lily Anna Evans! What did you just say to me young lady?"
Um, nothing?
"Clean your room right now missy or your going to be missing out on some fun with Vernon, Petunia, your father and I."
Fun? I think not. I mean, Petunia lost all meaning of fun when I got my Hogwarts letter and she turned into a bitter lemon and Vernon, holy canoly have you seen that man? He's about as fun as staring at the Giant Squid while dying from a weird, unknown disease with your eyes closed and eating a whole pineapple in one bite with the skin and all. Not fun. No fun at all.
Oh! There's Adrastos with two letters! Wait…three letters. Why three? I only wrote to Em and Gwen. Geez.
Lils,
My summer has been great so far! I just got back from visiting my family in France. It was fun but I missed you and Gwen so much. I was in need of some girl power. You know how my female cousins are. All prissy and full of themselves so I got to hang out with the boys. I really need to see you guys. My parents said you guys could spend the remainder of the summer here if it was all right with your parents.
Nothing new with Petunia though huh? I'm feel sorry for you even though I know you don't want my "pity" But it's not pity, Lily, I care.
OH MY GOD! CONGRATS LILY! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! I KNEW YOU WOULD GET IT! I'm so happy for you! You and Gwen really need to come over and we could celebrate! Please come over!
Miss ya
Emma
Lily-Hun,
Eh. The usual; pranked my brothers, my sisters and yeah. I won. (Of course) I got to visit my aunt and uncle and they took me to the Quidditch World Cup. It was the Holyhead Harpies vs. the Appleby Arrows. I was cheering for the Holyhead Harpies of course and they WON! IT WAS AWESOME! It was a close game though. 450-460. It was so much fun! Griffiths caught the snitch after about 4 hours. It was about to rain when she caught it near the Arrows goalposts. It was bloody awesome!
Did Emma tell you that we could spend the rest of the summer at her place? I am so going! And dare I ask what "Operation G.E.T.I.U.O" is? Anyway, they're engaged? Are you kidding me? Walrus-horse babies…you crack me up Lils. Anyone ever told you you're a madwoman? Well madwoman or insane…your choice.
OH MY GOD LILY CONGRATS! NOW YOU CAN TAKE POINTS OFF PEOPLE AND YOU GET YOUR OWN DORM AND WE WILL HAVE MANY, MANY GIRLS NIGHTS! Oh…wait…the Head Boy and his freaks, I mean friends. Damn. Why does he have to be Head Boy? And no Lily. I'm not telling you who Head Boy is. But I have some juicy news. A new girl is coming to Hogwarts this year. She went to another wizarding school and is going to take seventh year at Hogwarts. I think she's James's cousin but I'm not sure.
WHAT?! JAMES'S COUSIN!? I feel so bad for her. A poor girl, with that…that…thing for a cousin, Well…I have Petunia so I guess it's not her fault for having a bullying toerag for a relative. He is arrogant, a bullying toerag, immature, annoying, irritating, good-for-nothing prat, constantly-asking-me-out-as-a-joke-and-or-just-for-the-chase-and-has-no-respect-for-my-space-and-privacy, and—oh right. The letter.
I didn't hook up with anyone this summer Lily. Not at ALL. Well maybe someone but it's not that one kid…he was weird. Anyway you'll find out when we go to Em's house. I miss you guys terribly! See you at Em's!
Cheers
G.J.
Well that letter sure brightens things up doesn't it? Gwen won't tell me and I'll have to find out for myself. What great mates.
Oh I almost forgot! I wonder who the third letter is from. Let's open it and find out!
Lilikins
I know how much you despise me but how's your summer going? I hope it's gone well, even with your sister.
Besides the fact that you despise me, could you do me a favor? My cousin is coming to Hogwarts this year, she's a Seventh Year, and I was wondering if you could help make her feel comfortable. It's a lot to ask but the only people she knows at Hogwarts are male, so she would be all alone in the dormitories.
Thanks,
Love,
James
"So Kitty, how would you and Doggy and Snakey like to be my new best friends? What have you done this summer?"
Kitty, the stuffed snake, went to eat mice.
Doggy, the stuffed cat, went to the junk yard.
Snakey, the stuffed dog, went to the swimming pool.
What great, exciting friends.
No, really. I mean it.
August 30
Emma's room
Nighttime
"So let me get this straight Lil, you name a dog snakey, a cat, doggy, and a snake kitty? And they are all stuffed? You do realize that that is a very insanish/madwoman related thing to do?" asked Emma incredulously as I unpacked my overnight things and pulled out Kitty, Snakey, and Doggy. I quickly covered their ears when she said that. They don't need to be teased because they have unique names.
"They don't need to be teased Emma. They are very sensitive people. Not to be messed with either."
"Lily?"
"Yes Gwen?"
"You're one odd one, you know that?"
"Why yes Gwen thank you."
"That wasn't a compliment Lily" Emma said rolling her eyes.
I rolled my eyes right back at her and stuck out my tongue. Yeah, I pride myself on being mature.
"Very mature Lilikins, very mature." Aaaand the award for who pointed out the most obvious thing goes tooo Gwenog Jones!
"We need to go to Diagon Alley! Now! Pleeease?" I wasn't whining. Sheesh.
"Quit your whining, we're going there right now."
Bugger. Emma: 1. Lily:0