Disclaimer: If i owned them would i be here? Seriously?

A.N. This is the forth in the series that began with 'should have known better' and 'haven't you ever'. It actually follows on from 'Something I Missed', the third part of the series, which is not published here because its too adult for these folk. You can read it by clicking on my profile and going to my listed homepage where my fics are archived or pm me and i will send it to you. Its not necessary to have read it but it does give the juicy details on what happened that day.

Enjoy

"Excuse me, have either of you two seen Grissom?"

"He's in the house."

As Sofia strode past, Sara couldn't help follow her with her eyes. She felt the strong pull of desire deep inside. They hadn't had a lot to do with each other since that day at Sofia's house. And Sara knew that was entirely her own fault. Focusing back on the witness, she pushed all thoughts of the blonde back out of her head.

The quiet time before shift found Sara sitting in the break room nursing a coffee. It brought her back to the events surrounding the time she had spent with Sofia. Whenever it got quiet her mind would take her back there. They had spent a really wonderful day together. After they finally managed to get all the wax off her, she had spent the next couple of hours curled up in Sofia's arms talking about everything and nothing. They slept for a while, and over breakfast Sara had even felt okay asking about what had happened between them. Sofia had been very open and honest with her and everything had been fine when she had been dropped back at the lab. But that was quick to change.

Sara knew it was her fault. The following day the full implications of what she had done with Sofia had hit her and she had totally freaked out, in the process alienating Sofia from her. Forged by life to be strong and independent, and shaped to be a feminist by her time at university, she felt overwhelmed by her apparently dichotomous desire to submit to Sofia. And as often happens, she had talked herself into such a state over her inability to integrate this new side of herself into her own personality that she had once again shrunk back inside herself. It was like trying to come to terms with her sexuality all over again. By the time she had realized how crazy she had been, and that she really needed to talk to someone who would understand, the chasm that had been formed between the one person she wanted to talk to seemed insurmountable.

With a sigh and a shake of her head, Sara threw the remaining coffee in the sink in disgust and left to start her shift.

For the first time in weeks, Sara had actually managed to get off shift on time. Kicking off her boots as she sat down on the couch, she leaned back to relax for a moment before taking a shower. Just as she closed her eyes, she felt her mobile vibrate against her hip. Puzzled at who would ring her at this hour, she reached down without looking to answer it.

"Hello Sara." She knew instantly who that soft alto voice belonged to.

"Ummm, Sofia, hi." Not the most eloquent response she had ever made. Sara could feel the hot rush of nerves across her chest.

"How are you? We haven't really had a chance to talk recently." Sofia's voice was calm and quiet, the way she had heard the blonde speak to a witness she didn't want to spook.

"Ah, no, yeah. It's been kinda hectic, you know how things get …" Sara had to repress the growl of frustration in her throat. 'Get a hold of yourself Sidle; you can talk without stuttering or losing your words.'

"I don't think that the reason you've been avoiding me though, is it?" Sara felt the color drain from her face. Sofia had driven straight through her lies.

"No." Sara spoke so softly she barely heard her own voice. When she ran, people rarely chased her down, let alone confronted her about why. It wasn't a situation she was used to dealing with.

"Can you tell me why?" Sara sensed Sofia already knew the answer to her question but wanted to hear Sara say it out loud, where she couldn't hide from the truth anymore.

"I was confused, scared. Not of you, but of me. Of what I did and how it made me feel." Sara's voice was shaky by the end. Opening up like this wasn't easy. She lay back on the couch in an attempt to try relax.

"I know honey, and its okay to feel that way. What we did was intense. This was your first experience being submissive. That can be scary. Women these days are raised to be strong, independent, to view themselves as equals with all those they share their lives with. We've been taught that it's important not to let anyone control you. So when you discover your desire to give over your control to another, to submit to another's will, the opposition of these points can cause you a lot of heartache." Sofia paused for a moment, and Sara felt the weight of her words sink in. The blonde knew exactly what was wrong. It brought Sara comfort to know someone understood her.

"An old friend of mind once said that the strongest people he knew were those who submitted their will to another's. Because it's far easier to take control than it is to give it up. To choose freely to give yourself over to someone takes enormous courage and trust honey. It doesn't make you weaker, or less of a person. And it definitely doesn't make you anymore susceptible to encyclopedia salesmen than anyone else." This made Sara chuckle. The last person who had tried selling her encyclopedias had left in mortal fear of his life.

"I wish you could have seen yourself through my eyes Sara. Your submission was truly beautiful. Elegant and sleek, you bloomed before me like a dazzling flower. The submission of a strong woman is so much more satisfying than that of a weak one. And that submission is always consensual. Even if I wanted to, I could never make you to submit to me. Only you can do that. That's a gift that's more precious than any diamond, a gift I treasured that day. Are you beginning to understand honey?" Sara felt a tear making its way down her cheek. Sofia's words had helped to wash away her pain and confusion and made her feel safe again. She marveled at the blonde's ability to connect with her in such a profound way.

"Yes, I do." There was a quiet strength to Sara's words that hadn't been there before.

"Good. I have a request to make of you. Will you something for me?" Sofia's voice conveyed a patience and gentleness to her question. Once again Sara felt compelled to obey.

"Okay."

"I want to go over to your door and open it." Sara felt a little puzzled by Sofia's request, but got up off the couch and did as she was asked.

Opening the door, she found Sofia leaning on her doorframe, cell phone in hand. The blonde closed her phone with a definitive click. Sara felt a rush of shock and relief at finding her here. Sofia reached up and brushed away the tear on her cheek, before stepping in close and enveloping the brunette in her arms. After a quiet few minutes, Sofia pulled back far enough to see Sara's face.

"I want to come in and stay with you. No games, no sex. Just be with you, take care of you. Curl up with you in my arms and sleep. Is that okay?" Sara felt stunned by Sofia's request. She nodded in assent, not sure she could trust her voice. She tilted her head forward, her lips meeting Sofia's in a soft kiss. One that spoke of affection and reassurance. They continued to share these kisses as they stepped back into Sara's apartment and closed the door.