She was in the midst of some faraway dream. Someone was holding her from behind, pressing against her back with all their tiny strength. The warmth from that embrace spread throughout her entire body, calming her and making her smile. She was afloat in that kind feeling, surrendering to its utter peace and tranquility.
Maki slowly opened her eyes. The afternoon sun cast long fingers of light through the window; she was sitting at the head of the table with her back to it, which explained the sudden increase in temperature she had felt. She shook herself awake and stretched, chiding herself gently for falling asleep.
It's already so late, she thought, glancing at the time on her phone. Yet, the sunlight felt so good on her skin that she couldn't help but lay her head back down and enjoy it a little more.
It had been months since the 3rd years of μ's graduated. That spring day was filled with tearful goodbyes for the other members, but Maki didn't shed a single tear. It just wasn't her tendency to express her emotions so volubly, and besides, weren't they going to all get together during summer anyway? They had played their hearts out, going to the beach and staying at one of Maki's summer houses. The days melted into each other, and almost without warning, the summer was gone and Eri, Nozomi, and Nico-chan were off to college.
She shook her head. Even in her mind, she couldn't help but refer to Nico Yazawa as "Nico-chan." She wondered vaguely when that had become a habit; she hadn't even noticed she was doing it until the others had pointed it out. Now that she thought about it, she wasn't even sure what she was doing here; μ's had disbanded after last year, and by all rights she should be walking home with Rin and Hanayo these days, but somehow she was drawn to that club room where the nine of them had shared so many memories.
One such memory surfaced now. Yes, one day she had fallen asleep at the table while waiting for everyone else to arrive, just like today. She had woken up feeling warm and contented, only to find Nico-chan sitting next to her, watching her while she slept.
"G-geez, what are you looking at?" she had sputtered, embarrassed to have been caught napping.
Instead of vehemently denying it or brushing it off, Nico-chan stared for a moment, then grinned. "Hey, I didn't notice it before," she teased, "but Maki-chan's actually quite cute when she's sleeping! That angry face she makes all the time when she's awake just melts away!"
Maki sat up fully, intending on retaliating - only then did she notice that a blanket had been draped over her shoulders during her slumber. It slid to the floor as she straightened; she picked it up and examined it blankly.
"Oh… did you do this?"
Nico had looked rather sheepish as she replied, "Well yeah, you looked a little cold, so…"
They had both blushed and looked away as her words trailed off. Before they could continue the conversation, the other members had arrived, and that was that.
Maki blinked and rubbed at her eyes angrily. She didn't know why, but somehow that memory had evoked sudden tears. She brushed them away quickly, not understanding how something so mundane could make her sad enough to cry, even if it was just a little.
She looked down at the table, letting her fingers stroke the wood. Nico-chan used to sit here, she thought vaguely, and suddenly an incredible melancholy swelled up inside her chest. She clenched her hands into fists, willing for the tears to stay inside.
Ever since summer ended, Nico had not called or texted once. Nico-chan, who had promised to become an idol with her in the future, who had sworn that nothing could ever come between them, hadn't contacted her at all.
Maki choked back a sob, slamming a fist on the table. "You idiot… you could at least call once in awhile," she whispered, her nose prickling painfully from the effort it took for her to not break down crying.
She sniffled a little and wiped away the few tears that had welled up in her eyes. Scooting back her chair, she stood up and slung her bag over her shoulder. She had dallied here long enough. She needed to get back home before it got dark.
Still, she let her fingers linger on the table. With the rays of the setting sun, the surface felt warm, like the heat from a person's skin. She caressed it gently, imagining that it was Nico's hand she was touching.
She thought vaguely about how autumn was approaching, and how the leaves would turn red and the weather would get cooler and cooler. Maybe then, the memories of that day in the club room would disappear too, dispersing with the onset of the rain and clouds.
Maybe then, she could finally forget about Nico-chan's warmth.