Drabble Collection by supernaturalmuse
Note: This is a side project for when plot bunnies start jumping around like they're on crack. I have no idea when I will update this again but each update will have 3-5 drabbles. They will mainly be funny (er...attempted funny) or silly.
Disclaimer 1: I have no rights to the Twilight Series or movies. I make no money from this (I wish). This is the last time I state this.
Disclaimer 2: The characters will not be perfectly in character but they're not off the the walls either. Don't flame me for 'not doing something right' because this is MY writing and I don't take kindly to being told what/how to write. Thanks.
Alright, now that i feel sufficiently like a bitch (and ashamed for said bitchiness) I will give you some humor: On with the reading!
Drabble #1
"You're my favorite sister!" Emmett called to Bella as she tripped up the stairs and he howled with laughter, "I glad Edward finally got a girl so I could have a sis."
"I do NOT appreciate that comment!" Alice said and stomped her foot to make a point.
Emmett laughed and then Alice went into her trancelike visions and then slowly came back to herself. A slow grin spread onto her features and her eyes lit up like a kid's firecracker on the fourth of July.
"Oh no, no, no, no. Alice, you tell me what's going to happen!" Emmett said as he slowly backed away.
She started to giggle and he looked around him wildly, trying to find the perp who was going to cause the embarrassment or hurt to him. Jasper walked up next to him wife and asked him, "Who are you looking for?"
"You. Are you planning on attacking me?"
"Did you do something that I need to attack you for?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Err....no?" He said cautiously.
"Emmett, what did you do?" He said as he stepped forward dangerously.
"I..uh..nothing..me... Alice...Bella," Emmett stuttered.
"You did what with Alice and Bella?!!" Edward screamed from upstairs and Jasper shouted from across the room.
"ALICE!" Emmett screamed in anger. She giggled. Edward was now standing beside Jasper and said, "You are either shielding your mind really well or it didn't happen. You have five seconds to tell me what you did with MY Bella!"
"And MY wife!" Jasper added.
Emmett groaned and then Rosalie walked in, swinging a crowbar loosely in her hands, "What is this I hear about my husband and my sisters?!"
"I hate you, Alice!" Emmett called over to his pixie like sister.
"I guess this is why I'm not your favorite sister, huh?" She winked and blew him a kiss before skipping off upstairs. Oh, revenge is sweet.
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Drabble # 2
"I can't believe she beat you for the fourth time, Emmett." Jasper said and barely withheld a laugh.
"Can't say I didn't see it coming though," Alice chimed in and Emmett growled at her.
"Not helping, Alice," Rosalie tisked.
"Come on, baby, let's go."
"No! Rematch now! She cheated! She has some freaky winning streak gift as a vamp!"
"No, honey, she doesn't. I beat her at darts yesterday. She stabbed herself six times before she gave up."
"But...But..."
"No, Emmett, now let's go."
"Fine! Bella, I swear, when I get a chance, we're doing an obstacle course and I will WIN!"
"Okay, Emmett, whatever you say."
Emmett began walking his sullen self off and Rosalie made apologizing gestures behind his back.
A few minutes after they left, Alice made and face and then shook her head vigorously.
"Emmett! Rosalie! Do not do THAT there!" She shouted.
She clapped her hands over her ears and said, "Lalalalalalalalalalala! Ignore. Ignore pictures!"
Jasper was rubbing soothing circles on her back and Edward laughed at her. He was holding hands with Bella and was shielded from it. She opened her tightly closed eyes and told him in a dead pan voice, "I wouldn't be laughing, if I were you. They're doing it in your car."
His face when she told him was the best thing of her 24 hour time period.
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Drabble #3
"I can't believe you think this will actually work," Edward said with a sigh.
"Every chick likes a guy in a band! It's proven. Now, you already play the piano so bingo and Jasper will be on drums. I'll be lead singer and guitarist and Carlisle can be...the triangle or bass or something."
"Where is he by the way? Why wasn't be forced to attend this 'meeting'?" Jasper asked from his position on the couch.
"Around here somewhere. Probably getting it on with Esme," Emmett waved off.
"You know, that thought disturbs me more than it should, considering she isn't our biological mother," Edward said.
"I agree," Jasper said.
"Alright so, we're doing this as a surprise for the girls so don't tell!" Emmett emphasized.
The other two exchanged glances--they weren't the weak link in keeping secrets.
They nodded anyways and Emmett grinned.
"We are now officially band mates! Welcome to Cullen!"
"Our surname is the name of our band? Really?" Jasper asked dryly.
Emmett shrugged, "It was either that or S.E."
"South East?" Edward asked, confused.
"Noooo.......Sexy Emmett."
"Oh lord."
"I hate bands."
Note: Hope you enjoyed it! Drop a REVIEW while you're here and tell me whatcha thought!
I have a more serious (but still humorous) one-shot for Twilight out there. It's called Bathroom Blunders. Check it out.
~supernaturalmuse