Title: Carry Me Home
Author: Noa
Rating: Eh... PG?
Dedications: Kate, Norla, Maria, Lexa, Sami, Lara and Shellie - All this L/A talking and L/A fanfics really *are* helping. Thank you all. :) And as always, to Adeline. Love you all!
Disclaimer: Don't belong to me, okay? Okay.
Summary: Follow up to Flight of Fancy, supporting the 'Luka and Abby didn't have sex that night' but ignores everything that followed that episode.
= = =
Her lips on his, her fingers tangled up in his hair... A million thoughts race through her head, too fast for her to follow. Hundreds of arguments for and against, one big debate going on in her head, and she isn't even a part of it. One side tells her to go ahead with it, screw consequences, screw everything. The other side, just as loud as the first, tells her to stop things now before it's too late... Don't do anything you will regret later, the voice says.
And then there's him. Sitting there, kissing her like that, and she can't for the life of her read his mind. Is he afraid too? Does he even want to do it, or is he going along with it because he thinks that's what she wants? Would he still want anything to do with her the next morning, or is it just a one time thing? She quickly dismisses the last thought. Of course he would be. She may not know much about him yet, but that is one thing she -is- sure of - He'll be there, his typical behavior.
The other side finally wins, and she pulls back, searching for his eyes. He's looking down, as if he's staring at her shirt, but she knows he isn't. He's lost somewhere in his mind, between his thoughts and feelings, much like he was when she first set foot in his hotel room. "Luka..." she says quietly, her voice gentle and firm at the same time. "Look at me, Luka...". He looks up, but still not really at her - He's staring at some invisible spot on the wall behind her. She takes his face in her hand, making him look at her. It's the first time she notices the tears falling from his eyes. He's not bawling his eyes out, but the tears are there, falling as slowly as possible. She wipes the tears off with her thumb, but they just keep coming. She doesn't do it again... It's all about symbolism after all, isn't it?
"We shouldn't do it, not now," she offers, and suddenly it sounds so weak, so insignificant. He just nods, his eyes pronouncing the 'I know' his mouth wouldn't let out. Not much of a talker, Abby notes to herself before she continues, "I like you, Luka. We'll just... ruin it by rushing to things we may regret later." Again he nods, with the same look in his eyes. She's about ready to yell at him to speak when he finally opens his mouth, letting out a silent voice.
"Me too." And then his back to looking down, at his own shirt this time. "I'm sorry I didn't return your calls Abby, I meant to bu-"
"I'm not mad," she cuts him off. "I was just worried... You just walked out of that room that night, and then you don't show up for work..."
Luka shakes his head. "I wouldn't be able to do my job... I couldn't... He, he was stuck in my head, the way he looked lying on the table... I didn't meant to kill him Abby, I didn't mean to at all, but he was going after you and I couldn't let him and then I just got caught up and before I..." He has to stop at this point, the tears choking him.
She takes his hand in hers, squeezing it gently while she waits for the right words to come to her mind. "No one is blaming you," she finally lets out.
"Not in my face," he replies, rather coldly... Much colder than he wanted it to come out. "But Abby... I look at myself in the mirror, I see a murderer, how can you tell me they don't see the same? That -you- don't see the same thing?" He is still in tears at that point, although they seem to have somehow slowed down, and have been replaced with self-anger. And she, she just sits there, helpless about all that is taking place in his mind, only bits and pieces heard by her.
"-I- don't think you're murderer, Luka. Had I thought so, I wouldn't be here now, would I? You were defending yourself; you were defending me... It's called self defense, Luka, and it's not something worth dwelling over so much. I mean... I know how hard it can be, to get over it, but that doesn't mean you should stay locked here all day, distance yourself from work, from people that... care about you."
He looks up, only long enough to give her a small smile. "Thanks. For... For coming here, for not being mad, for everything..."
"Well, I figured if I want to keep dating you, I might as well make sure you're okay," she attempts to joke, trying to light up the mood. She is highly surprised to actually get a chuckle out of him, one that sounds quite genuine. She takes a quick glance at the clock that sits on the nightstand. The shining red numbers clarify it for her - It is late, very late. 1:37am, if one wants to be exact. "Can I spend the night here?" she asks, a great amount of hesitation in her voice. "I mean, it's kinda late, not a great time for the El, but I can go if it bothers you..." she quickly reasons out, more to herself than to Luka.
"Sure, sure," he says as soon as he notices the discomfort in her voice. It is actually quite adorable; And reminds him of her behavior after she kissed him for the first time, or when she was trying to ask him out... And those thoughts bring a smile to his face.
She watches him with interest, noticing the sudden change in his expression, "What are you smiling about?"
"Nothing, nothing," he says, his voice blending with his chuckle. "You can have the bed, I'll sleep on the couch."
Always the gentleman, she thinks. But after a short glance at the hotel room couch, she has to deny his offer. "You're way too tall for it, Luka. Take the bed."
"You're sure?" he asks, finally looking up for a long time, his eyes fixed on hers. She nods, and he takes that as a cue to get up, and get the extra blankets and pillow for her to sleep on.
A few moments later, Abby is lying on the couch, moving her gaze from the ceiling to the quietly sleeping Luka. He's fallen asleep pretty quickly, and Abby assumes he didn't get much sleep in the past few days. She, however, couldn't fall asleep if her life depended on it. So many things go through her mind, keeping sleep away from her. Stronger than all those thoughts, however, is her mind, begging her to jump up from the couch, and cuddle with Luka on the bed. Something about tonight, about seeing him cry, hearing him talk so... so freely, makes her interest in him grow even more.
It doesn't take long for her to surrender to her mind's wishes, and before she knows it, she's crawling into bed next to his still body. As if he was still awake, he moves to give her space and wraps his arm protectively around her waist. She glances at him as best as she can, to see if she woke him up... But judging by his even and shallow breaths and peaceful expression, he is definitely still asleep. She lies there for a few more minutes, her thoughts quieting down until they are no longer strong enough to keep her awake, and she slips into a peaceful sleep.
---
In the first few moments after she opens her eyes, she has no idea where she is. It doesn't look like her apartment - At all. It's actually much cleaner and arranged than hers. It's not until much later that she senses the hand wrapped lazily around her waist, a fairly large and semi-muscled manly arm.
Luka.
Random moments from the last night flash through her mind. Did they...? No, no, that she remembers clearly. They almost did, but she couldn't... It didn't seem fitting. She remembers talking... Him crying... Her crawling into his bed...
How good it all had felt. She even dares saying that sleeping in his arms, she'd felt happy. No nightmares, no insomnia... Just sweet dreams about baby blue sky and shiny days. But that was yesterday, and right now, more than anything, she is scared. Scared of how he will react when he wakes up and sees her there, scared of what is yet to come... Scared of being alone again.
Careful not to wake him, she slips out of the bed. She decides it would be best to leave him a small note, and go home - No awkwardness, no him feeling as if he owes her anything, no her feeling she owes him something... Nothing but the acknowledgment that she came, and that she would like to meet again.
But of course he has to ruin those perfect plans of hers, of course he has to. She is looking through the room, searching for the pen and paper every hotel room has, and then she hears his voice - a muffled "Abby?"
She turns around, offering a nervous smile. "I-I didn't mean to wake you, sorry, I was gonna leave you a note an-"
"You're working today?" he asks, sitting up, still tucked under the covers. He tries to read her expression, her behavior - Something seems different from the previous night.
"Night shift," she supplies, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "I... I have some arrangements to do before, so..." she lies uneasily. He doesn't need to know she is running away from him, after all.
He nods, buying her excuse. After a moment, he finally speaks up "Do you want to do something today? I've got the day off... Maybe we can catch a movie?"
His offer brings a smile to her face. Not one that she had planned to put on, but now that it is there she doesn't mind at all. "I would love to go to a movie with you, Luka."
"Good, good," he says, matching her smile. "Are you hungry?" he asks. "I could call for room service, or we can go out and eat..."
She hesitates for a moment. Sure, she wants to spend more time with Luka and get to know him, but she needs a little time to do some thinking...
Oh, what the hell. "Let's go out." Wrinkling her nose, she adds, "I never liked hotel food."
He chuckles as he gets out of the bed, stretching his body. They soon start to get ready, each taking a quick shower. He takes her hand when they leave the room, not letting go until they reach a nearby restaurant and sit at one of the tables. They stay there for a while after finishing breakfast, talking about random things, important and unimportant. It makes Abby happy to see the guy laughing and smiling again, reminds her why she asked him out in the first place. This could actually work, she tells herself. All they need to do is keep things as they were last night, and it'll be okay.
When they have grown silent for a few moments, she leans over the table and kisses him lightly, the both of them smiling when she pulls back. It truly amazes her how such a simple kiss makes her feel exactly like their more erotic kisses the night before did. He really is something, that Luka.
Author: Noa
Rating: Eh... PG?
Dedications: Kate, Norla, Maria, Lexa, Sami, Lara and Shellie - All this L/A talking and L/A fanfics really *are* helping. Thank you all. :) And as always, to Adeline. Love you all!
Disclaimer: Don't belong to me, okay? Okay.
Summary: Follow up to Flight of Fancy, supporting the 'Luka and Abby didn't have sex that night' but ignores everything that followed that episode.
= = =
Her lips on his, her fingers tangled up in his hair... A million thoughts race through her head, too fast for her to follow. Hundreds of arguments for and against, one big debate going on in her head, and she isn't even a part of it. One side tells her to go ahead with it, screw consequences, screw everything. The other side, just as loud as the first, tells her to stop things now before it's too late... Don't do anything you will regret later, the voice says.
And then there's him. Sitting there, kissing her like that, and she can't for the life of her read his mind. Is he afraid too? Does he even want to do it, or is he going along with it because he thinks that's what she wants? Would he still want anything to do with her the next morning, or is it just a one time thing? She quickly dismisses the last thought. Of course he would be. She may not know much about him yet, but that is one thing she -is- sure of - He'll be there, his typical behavior.
The other side finally wins, and she pulls back, searching for his eyes. He's looking down, as if he's staring at her shirt, but she knows he isn't. He's lost somewhere in his mind, between his thoughts and feelings, much like he was when she first set foot in his hotel room. "Luka..." she says quietly, her voice gentle and firm at the same time. "Look at me, Luka...". He looks up, but still not really at her - He's staring at some invisible spot on the wall behind her. She takes his face in her hand, making him look at her. It's the first time she notices the tears falling from his eyes. He's not bawling his eyes out, but the tears are there, falling as slowly as possible. She wipes the tears off with her thumb, but they just keep coming. She doesn't do it again... It's all about symbolism after all, isn't it?
"We shouldn't do it, not now," she offers, and suddenly it sounds so weak, so insignificant. He just nods, his eyes pronouncing the 'I know' his mouth wouldn't let out. Not much of a talker, Abby notes to herself before she continues, "I like you, Luka. We'll just... ruin it by rushing to things we may regret later." Again he nods, with the same look in his eyes. She's about ready to yell at him to speak when he finally opens his mouth, letting out a silent voice.
"Me too." And then his back to looking down, at his own shirt this time. "I'm sorry I didn't return your calls Abby, I meant to bu-"
"I'm not mad," she cuts him off. "I was just worried... You just walked out of that room that night, and then you don't show up for work..."
Luka shakes his head. "I wouldn't be able to do my job... I couldn't... He, he was stuck in my head, the way he looked lying on the table... I didn't meant to kill him Abby, I didn't mean to at all, but he was going after you and I couldn't let him and then I just got caught up and before I..." He has to stop at this point, the tears choking him.
She takes his hand in hers, squeezing it gently while she waits for the right words to come to her mind. "No one is blaming you," she finally lets out.
"Not in my face," he replies, rather coldly... Much colder than he wanted it to come out. "But Abby... I look at myself in the mirror, I see a murderer, how can you tell me they don't see the same? That -you- don't see the same thing?" He is still in tears at that point, although they seem to have somehow slowed down, and have been replaced with self-anger. And she, she just sits there, helpless about all that is taking place in his mind, only bits and pieces heard by her.
"-I- don't think you're murderer, Luka. Had I thought so, I wouldn't be here now, would I? You were defending yourself; you were defending me... It's called self defense, Luka, and it's not something worth dwelling over so much. I mean... I know how hard it can be, to get over it, but that doesn't mean you should stay locked here all day, distance yourself from work, from people that... care about you."
He looks up, only long enough to give her a small smile. "Thanks. For... For coming here, for not being mad, for everything..."
"Well, I figured if I want to keep dating you, I might as well make sure you're okay," she attempts to joke, trying to light up the mood. She is highly surprised to actually get a chuckle out of him, one that sounds quite genuine. She takes a quick glance at the clock that sits on the nightstand. The shining red numbers clarify it for her - It is late, very late. 1:37am, if one wants to be exact. "Can I spend the night here?" she asks, a great amount of hesitation in her voice. "I mean, it's kinda late, not a great time for the El, but I can go if it bothers you..." she quickly reasons out, more to herself than to Luka.
"Sure, sure," he says as soon as he notices the discomfort in her voice. It is actually quite adorable; And reminds him of her behavior after she kissed him for the first time, or when she was trying to ask him out... And those thoughts bring a smile to his face.
She watches him with interest, noticing the sudden change in his expression, "What are you smiling about?"
"Nothing, nothing," he says, his voice blending with his chuckle. "You can have the bed, I'll sleep on the couch."
Always the gentleman, she thinks. But after a short glance at the hotel room couch, she has to deny his offer. "You're way too tall for it, Luka. Take the bed."
"You're sure?" he asks, finally looking up for a long time, his eyes fixed on hers. She nods, and he takes that as a cue to get up, and get the extra blankets and pillow for her to sleep on.
A few moments later, Abby is lying on the couch, moving her gaze from the ceiling to the quietly sleeping Luka. He's fallen asleep pretty quickly, and Abby assumes he didn't get much sleep in the past few days. She, however, couldn't fall asleep if her life depended on it. So many things go through her mind, keeping sleep away from her. Stronger than all those thoughts, however, is her mind, begging her to jump up from the couch, and cuddle with Luka on the bed. Something about tonight, about seeing him cry, hearing him talk so... so freely, makes her interest in him grow even more.
It doesn't take long for her to surrender to her mind's wishes, and before she knows it, she's crawling into bed next to his still body. As if he was still awake, he moves to give her space and wraps his arm protectively around her waist. She glances at him as best as she can, to see if she woke him up... But judging by his even and shallow breaths and peaceful expression, he is definitely still asleep. She lies there for a few more minutes, her thoughts quieting down until they are no longer strong enough to keep her awake, and she slips into a peaceful sleep.
---
In the first few moments after she opens her eyes, she has no idea where she is. It doesn't look like her apartment - At all. It's actually much cleaner and arranged than hers. It's not until much later that she senses the hand wrapped lazily around her waist, a fairly large and semi-muscled manly arm.
Luka.
Random moments from the last night flash through her mind. Did they...? No, no, that she remembers clearly. They almost did, but she couldn't... It didn't seem fitting. She remembers talking... Him crying... Her crawling into his bed...
How good it all had felt. She even dares saying that sleeping in his arms, she'd felt happy. No nightmares, no insomnia... Just sweet dreams about baby blue sky and shiny days. But that was yesterday, and right now, more than anything, she is scared. Scared of how he will react when he wakes up and sees her there, scared of what is yet to come... Scared of being alone again.
Careful not to wake him, she slips out of the bed. She decides it would be best to leave him a small note, and go home - No awkwardness, no him feeling as if he owes her anything, no her feeling she owes him something... Nothing but the acknowledgment that she came, and that she would like to meet again.
But of course he has to ruin those perfect plans of hers, of course he has to. She is looking through the room, searching for the pen and paper every hotel room has, and then she hears his voice - a muffled "Abby?"
She turns around, offering a nervous smile. "I-I didn't mean to wake you, sorry, I was gonna leave you a note an-"
"You're working today?" he asks, sitting up, still tucked under the covers. He tries to read her expression, her behavior - Something seems different from the previous night.
"Night shift," she supplies, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "I... I have some arrangements to do before, so..." she lies uneasily. He doesn't need to know she is running away from him, after all.
He nods, buying her excuse. After a moment, he finally speaks up "Do you want to do something today? I've got the day off... Maybe we can catch a movie?"
His offer brings a smile to her face. Not one that she had planned to put on, but now that it is there she doesn't mind at all. "I would love to go to a movie with you, Luka."
"Good, good," he says, matching her smile. "Are you hungry?" he asks. "I could call for room service, or we can go out and eat..."
She hesitates for a moment. Sure, she wants to spend more time with Luka and get to know him, but she needs a little time to do some thinking...
Oh, what the hell. "Let's go out." Wrinkling her nose, she adds, "I never liked hotel food."
He chuckles as he gets out of the bed, stretching his body. They soon start to get ready, each taking a quick shower. He takes her hand when they leave the room, not letting go until they reach a nearby restaurant and sit at one of the tables. They stay there for a while after finishing breakfast, talking about random things, important and unimportant. It makes Abby happy to see the guy laughing and smiling again, reminds her why she asked him out in the first place. This could actually work, she tells herself. All they need to do is keep things as they were last night, and it'll be okay.
When they have grown silent for a few moments, she leans over the table and kisses him lightly, the both of them smiling when she pulls back. It truly amazes her how such a simple kiss makes her feel exactly like their more erotic kisses the night before did. He really is something, that Luka.