Dear Dad

Olicity Fiction

After the events that have taken place on the finale (2x23). Felicity Smoak sits down at her tiny house to start working on her resume but ends up writing a heartfelt letter to her dad.

A/N: This is my first fanfiction ever, so please be kind.

Any and all mistakes are my own. If you find them, please let me know.

Thanks you for reading this. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow, or Felicity Smoak or CW, unfortunately.

Dear Dad,

I am home.

I am alone.

There are at least a hundred different things I should be doing right now but I can't find my center and I can't think properly. I was working on my resume, because yeah, I'm kinda jobless and I have bills coming soon but somehow, at this moment, this is the least of my problems.

I am alone and I need you now. Funny how after all these years and after what you've done I still cling to you and how I felt when you were around. Mom would be so pissed right now, if she knew.

Remember when I was just a little girl and you used to tell me how much you loved me all the time? Every time I rambled, every time I laughed, when I was really smart, when I was upset, it didn't matter. Mom used and still does rains on my parade from time to time, but you….you used to look at me and just say 'I love you Lizzie'. I miss it so damn much. I miss the sound of your voice. I miss your smile. I miss your love freely given even when sometimes, okay, full disclose now, most of the times I think it was all a lie.

Felicity Meghan Smoak is a sucker for the three words.

Always was and always will be, apparently.

I should be sleeping but I'm too wired to rest. If I had the disposition and money to see a shrink right now I'm pretty sure he would be over his head with my problems.

So instead of opening my heart to a doctor and risking revealing too much about other people that I need to protect, I'm writing a letter to you, Dad.

You will never read this.

I don't even know if you are alive. I don't know where you are or what you've done all these years. The truth is that I need you right now and as always you are not here.

He looked into my eyes and told me he loved me, dad.

I Know Oliver loves me, the same way I know Diggle loves me or at least he cares for me enough to keep me safe and annoy the hell out of me in the process but somehow, for like, three seconds, the love I felt from him was love, love. I know I just said the same thing, but it means something different in my head. I mean I felt the writing poems- watching the sunrise together – big house with white fence- love, you know. The" forever" love.

So when he asked me if I understood, right after placing the syringe with the Mirakuru cure in my hands, I said yes, because for the first time in two years of being part of the team arrow, I could see things clearly. I could see my heart and I understood it and now I'm scared and it hurts.

I'm scared because I realized when the whole town was in shambles and we had to save the city, while we were alone at his house and I looked at his gorgeous face, that's when I knew that I loved him. I love, really love, Oliver Queen.

And I don't know what to do with myself.

If anyone should have been smart enough to keep her distance, it should have been me.

I know him. Not all the secrets, not the way Laurel Lance does. According to her she knows him to his bones. That's pretty intense, I can respect that. Somehow though, I feel like I know know him, the good, the bad, the Oliver that survived all the bad stuff and I helped him realize he was always hero material. I know the Arrow. He is a hero now and I'm glad I could help him get there. I'm glad me and John did not give up on the crazy guy with the hood. It was worth it.

With all the secrets revealed and life threatening situations, all the fights, all the death ….I gave my heart away to someone who won't or can't love me back, apparently.

What am I supposed to do now? Dad, I need you. I need advice, I need your love, I need to figure out how I'm going to keep working with him and not let it show.

I'm an awful liar. Fun Fact he is too.

It confuses me, to be quite honest, how he managed to tell me he that he loved me and make it so real, so believable. I believed him and I thank Yahweh that I did not ramble or answered back. I wouldn't be able to deal with the shame have I done it.

For the first time in my life, I had no words. No brainiac response, no cute retort, nothing.

I was utterly lost in his eyes and his words were echoing in my head and my heart, oh my heart, was in overdrive.

Stupid Felicity, gullible Felicity. I'm in love with someone who has a Lance complex.

Oliver may be a hero now, after this crusade he went through, but I'm a hero to my own right as well and so is John. Together we save this city, everyday. We make sacrifices and it is worth it.

Last night I gave Oliver my life to use against Slade. I don't regret it. I'm glad I could do it.

He told me I was one of the bravest women he knew. I highly doubt that but I take the compliment and keep it safe inside of me. He looks at me like I hold everything he needs; I swear I can talk with him just by shared looks and glances. He touches me and I'm alive.

How am I going to keep pretending when I'm pretty sure the love I feel for him, the love I now acknowledge, was written all over my face? My silence spoke louder than any one of my famous rambles. He knows and I know he knows that I know how I truly feel now.

Luckily I've been around him long enough to emulate his walls. I will try and behave like yesterday never happened. Like he never, ever said those three words. Like my life isn't completely changed. Like my heart isn't bleeding and broken.

I'll be his friend, dad.

Hopefully I won't lose him. He won't leave me like you did and someday he will be ready and he will be mine, like I am his.

I promise you I will write more some other day. This letter writing thing truly works cuz now I'm really sleepy.

Good night dad.

I love you.

Lizzie.